2. Sacrifices

He hadn't planned a speech and the words didn't come easily. He didn't even know if he wanted closure or a fresh start. She didn't know either. They sat silently in his car, driving along the highway. Both of them were wondering if they could put together the broken pieces of what had once been. Derek didn't stop his car until they were in front of his trailer on the land he had bought just outside of Seattle the same week he met her for the first time.

Derek's mind drifted to that night they met at the bar. He never could put his hands on it but here was something about her. She was beautiful, but that wasn't it. There was something else. Her smile made his heart sting and when she laughed it felt as though every piece of his shattered universe fell into place. She didn't ask personal questions and that kept him at ease. She had some sort of power over him from the very first moment. Something that always made him come back to her ever since. It was pouring rain as they stood outside and waited for a taxi, standing side by side. She looked amazing, wearing a thin jacket over her black dress and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It wasn't subtle, but she didn't seem to mind. "Maybe we should wait inside," he'd said. She didn't reply. She just looked at him with her beautiful sea green eyes. She then stepped closer to him and kissed him. And that was it, from that moment he hadn't been able to let go of her. She had been on his mind ever since. And now all these months later that girl sat besides him in his car wondering if she should let him go. It had been a rocky road and at the end of the day it wasn't anyone's fault.

"I can't let go," was all she could say. Tears started running down her face. Derek looked at her, studied her face. Her skin was pale and although it was dark her eyes were visibly red.

"I can't either," he said eventually.

"So, what do we do?"

They sat still for a moment until he opened the door and said "Come on, take a walk with me."

They walked up to a hill near by with a beautiful view over the city. "Wow, this is amazing," she said while Derek looked at her admiring the view.

"This where I was... " he hesitated. "This is where I wanted to build us a house and... you said that I would settle for someone who wanted the same things that I do."

"Derek, I..." Meredith started but he shushed her.

"I need to say this, so just let me say this. I have this dream. A dream about how my life will be in ten years or in twenty years. I wanted... I want a lot of things. A house, a wedding, children, a cat and a dog. There are a lot of things that I want. But you know, I would settle for a different kind of house if that's what you wanted. I would settle for just about anything, except for a life without you. I don't want someone. God knows I can barely breathe without you. So... I can build us a house here if you want or we could live the rest of our lives in the trailer. It's your choice. As long as you stay by my side."

Meredith was breathless. She took a few steps and took a look the city light. Then she turned around and looked into his eyes. She smiled when she said: "We need to have a porch overlooking the city."

"So this is it?" Derek said breathlessly.

They both had tears in their eyes. She walked over to him, took both of his hands in hers and said: "This is it."