Ok I'm finishing this one up and it's been ridiculously hard. On one hand I want Danny and Lindsay back together but it's hard to write it because I'm not sure I would ever be able to forgive him...Anyway this is my take on how it could be and its finished but I may throw in an epilogue if I get enough reviews. Thanks for reading and I don't own CSI or any of the characters if I did I would never have made Danny a cheating loser. Thanks
"Thanks for coming." Danny said smiling almost hesitantly at Lindsay as they sat at the small diner eating lunch.
"Thanks for inviting me." She said forcing a smile hating that this was awkward.
"So uh I know dis ain't good timing but we're supposed to go to ya friends wedding next weekend." He said and she nodded not sure what to do about it. Her good friend was getting married and she hadn't even wanted to go to the wedding in Philly but he'd talked her into it, told her how much fun they'd have going away for the weekend. She didn't want to go without a date but she also wasn't sure how she could make it through and entire weekend with him.
"I." She started to talk still not sure what to say and he looked down nodding sensing her hesitation.
"What if I got my own hotel room?" He asked softly. "I'm not trying to pressure ya. I want to make things right and I have no idea how." He said honestly. "If it's to soon I get dat and I won't go."
"I'm sorry." She said sadly. "It is to soon, I just." She stopped blinking back tears. "It's just to soon." She finished hating that he looked crushed.
"Don't be sorry." He said sighing. "Ya got nothing to be sorry about." He said and she nodded hating the achingly painful silence. "I got no idea what to do here." He admitted shaking his head.
"I don't either." She admitted sipping her tea. "Danny I'm just going to be honest." She said taking a deep breath. "I don't know if this is something I can get over, I'm going to try but it's a good possibility that it won't happen so if you want to just end it now."
"NO." He interrupted. "If there's a chance, even a small one I can wait." He said heart racing. "Dis, us Lindsay." He said softly eyes bright with emotion. "It means everything and I know ya may never forgive me but I can't live with not trying." He said nodding as the waitress asked if they needed anything. "I'm terrified of making the wrong move, ya gotta tell me what to do here."
"I don't know Danny." She admitted face crumpling. "I have no idea." She said shaking her head and choking on a sob. "I have to go." She whispered getting up and hurrying out hating that she couldn't control her emotions.
"How's it going with Danny?" Stella asked as she and Lindsay ate lunch during a well deserved break from work.
"We're at a stand still." Lindsay admitted playing with her straw. "It's been almost 2 months, when will I be able to forgive him?" She asked shaking her head sadly.
"Have you tried?" Stella asked not wanting to piss Lindsay off but sick of them both walking around like kicked puppies. "I mean really tried." She stated firmly. "Lindsay it's ok if you don't forgive him, no one will blame you but if you really want to work things out you're going to have to let it go." She said and Lindsay sighed knowing she was right. "You guys have something special, I won't pretend to know why Danny screwed that up but everyone sees it. I've looked for what you guys have my whole life and I know it hurts, I can't imagine how betrayed you feel but reliving it over and over you're never going to be able to forgive him."
"I know I really do." She said nodding. "And I believe him that he's sorry and never gonna do it again I just don't know how." She stopped and lowered her voice. "I miss him but every time I think of being intimate with him I think of her, of what they did together."
"I get that." Stella said nodding knowing that would be difficult. "How long are you going to punish him, and you?" She asked. "He loves you Lindsay, the real thing and I am so afraid you'll always regret it if you let him go."
"Where is everyone?" Lindsay asked Mac as she walked into Cozy's to decorate for Stella's birthday party later that night. They're entire crew was supposed to come and help but it was already 5 and no one but her and Mac was there.
"They should be here." He said smiling from the stage.
"Beautiful piano." She said smiling wistfully at the large grand piano.
"You play?" Mac asked watching the look on her face.
"Yeah." She said nodding as he offered her his hand helping her onto the stage.
"Go ahead." He said and she blushed but sat down playing a few notes.
"I miss this about home." She said smiling as her voice echoed on the mike in front of her. "Hard to get a piano up 12 flights of stairs." She said and Mac nodded smiling as she started playing her eyes closed.
"What song is that?" He asked as she hummed.
"It's called Better in Time." She said smiling over at him. "I've been listening to it a lot."
"I'll do drums." He said moving behind the massive drum set and sitting down smiling at her. "Don't be shy." He said as she frowned. "We're alone." He said and she squinted out towards the crowd unable to see much past the stage lights.
"Ok." She said starting the song and closing her eyes as her fingers moved sensually over the keys as Mac started to drum softly to the beat of the medium speed song.
It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through
"Wow." Mac whispered watching her as she sang with her eyes closed her voice strong and perfectly in tune as she effortlessly moved her fingers playing like a pro.
"Holy crap." Hawkes gasped stopping Danny, Don Flack and Jessica Angel from walking in as he heard the music and saw Lindsay sitting at the piano playing and starting to sing the sexy song with her eyes closed.
Going
Coming
Thought I heard a knock(Whose there, Noone?)
Thinking that (I deserve it)
Now I realised
That I really didn't knooOooOw
Since there's no more you and me (No more you and me)
This time I let you go so I can be free
And Live my life how it should be(No No No No No No)
No matter how hard it is
I will be fine without you
Yes I Will
"Nice." Mac said smiling over at her feeling bad seeing at her swiping at a few tears as she turned to face the wall composing herself.
If you didn't notice
You mean everything (quickly I'm learning)
To love again (all I know is)
I'm be oooOook
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
Oh yeaah (It'll All get better in time)
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too
Oooh(It'll all get better in time)
I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something that would remind me
Was it all that easy?
To just put us out your feeling
If i'm dreamin
Don't want to let it (hurt my feelings)
But that's the past (i believe it)
And I know that, time will heal it
If you didn't notice
Well you mean everything (quickly i'm learning)
To love again (All I know is)
I'm be ok
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oooh yeah(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too oooooh(It'll all get better in time)
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oooh(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile cos I deserve too yes I do(It'll all get better in time)
"Dammit." Danny whispered fighting tears of his own as he walked out not sure what to say but knowing that he was killing her.
"Crap." Lindsay said as Don Flack and Hawkes started clapping. "Thanks." She said blushing heavily and stepping down off the stage seeing Danny walking out the front door.
"Wow Linds, what are you doing being a cop if you can sing and play like that?" Don asked smiling at her.
"I don't like people watching." She said forcing a smile. "I'll be back." She said stepping around them and heading out the front door and stopping seeing Danny leaning against the wall smoking. "Hey." She said walking over not sure once again what to say to him.
"Hey." He said nodding.
"It's gonna kill you to quit again." She said glancing at the burning cigerette. He nodded knowing that he'd been a real ass last time when he quit. "We weren't dating then, when you quit before." She said leaning against the wall beside him.
"Is dis ever gonna get better Linds, cause I feel like I'm constantly getting sucker punched, every time I see ya I feel so fuckin bad." He said shaking his head. "I hate what I've done to ya." He whispered looking at her. "Ya not eating, I just, maybe I should leave ya alone cause I need ya to be ok and ya not." He said sniffling. "Ya can't be sleeping." He said seeing the dark circles under her eyes hating that she'd lost weight and wasn't sleeping because of him.
"I'm trying to." She said softly feeling bad for making him as miserable as she was. She didn't intend to make him suffer, just needed space. She didn't blame him anymore she was just trying to figure out how they could move forward. "I guess I don't sleep good without you."
"Yeah." He whispered clearing his throat and taking a deep drag of the smoke. "I'm tired of hurtin ya over and over, would it be easier on ya if I left?" He asked sincerely. "I thought, I mean I don't wanna give up but I can't see ya hurtin like dis all da time."
"Danny." She whispered face crumpling as she reached up and cupped his face. "I miss you." She whispered struggling not to sob as he rested his head on hers. He hadn't touched her for 3 months, she'd been thinking and he hadn't breached her personal space. "I need you to stop shutting me out." She said putting her finger over his lips as he started to talk. "You cannot walk all over me, this is your only chance, there will never ever be another chance." She whispered tears sliding down her pale cheeks. "I know you have your reasons and I don't care any more but if we're gonna work you're going to have to trust me. You have to let me in." She said and he nodded tears filling his eyes. "I don't want to start over." She said sniffling. "I don't want to because I love our past, I wish it didn't happen I wish I would have pushed you to open up to me but no more regrets." She said firmly. "From now on no more." She said and he nodded. "You're a good man."
"I won't let ya down." He whispered clenching his jaw trying not to sob like a baby.
"Stop punishing yourself, if I can forgive you for what happened you have to forgive yourself." She whispered and he tossed the ciggerette and pulled her tight against him clinging to her as he sagged in relief. She pulled back and grabbed his face kissing him hard sighing as she felt his mouth against hers.
"Happy Birthday to me." Stella said smiling brightly as she walked up to the bar interrupting Danny and Lindsay kissing passionately.
"Hey." Lindsay said breaking away and turning red heart still racing.
"Don't stop on my account." Stella said smiling as Lindsay blushed and Danny stared at her like he was amazed that she was really in front of him. "I'm going in." She said waving as she stepped through the doors.
"Should we?" Lindsay asked reaching down and sliding her hand into his smiling up at him.
"Yeah." He said smiling feeling at peace finally after 3 long months of hell. He wasn't stupid he knew that they had a lot of work to do but having her close, willing to forgive him he was willing to do anything to make them work.