Oh no, this story isn't getting any better…

"I didn't stay hidden, okay?! I thought I could take them all!"

"So what, you just ran in there, grabbed a sword, and started cutting through them?"

"No…"

"Oh, thank god."

"…see, I still had the GUN."

"Damn it, Dami!"

"Shut up already so I can finish explaining! I still had the gun, and these morons were thinking they were bulletproof, and I told them to stop but they didn't so I did that thing where I just go blind and start twitching my finger and, um, well, those ones ARE dead. And I know, I shouldn't have, but Grayson…"

"Damian, how could you possibly be so…?!"

"I know, I know, okay?! It was dumb, and wrong, and now I can't have the confession I needed! Well, actually, I got the murderer to say something out loud just as the police showed up."

"Did they hear him confess?"

"Yes."

"And they believed you…"

"Nope.

They actually pulled out there guns again, and, c'mon! That got me all nervous again!

So, once again, they fired so I fired and we're all firing like a bunch of drunk cowboys and everything's going completely crazy and then I end up running out of bullets."

"Good…"

"THAT'S when I grabbed the sword."

A groan.

"So there I was, deflecting bullets with a sword while those cops just keeping shooting and shooting like it was some sort of contest, and… oh, yeah! Grayson, there was this huge cop, fat as hell I'm telling you, and he's huffing and puffing as he pulls the trigger, it was actually kind of funny. But then, they started getting the upper hand and it wasn't so funny anymore so I ran for cover and there was this manhole thingy so I jumped down it and that's why I smell like this. And they all followed me down there and we're running and splashing and guess what?! Fat cop gets stuck in the manhole!

So, he's plugging that thing up and I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't have gone to the drug store today. And I'm shaking all over and everything's pitch black down there and I say to myself 'Damian, this all ends. Right now'. So I put the sword down, I hold up my hands and I get ready to surrender.

But, see, it's so dark down there that the cops don't see I've surrendered and they've still got those guns out. And I know they're gonna have to see me in order to believe I'm done so I light a match.

Oh my god, that was the worse idea EVER!"

"I'm afraid to ask what happened."

"It went everywhere! I'm telling you Grayson, that thing lit up so bad! See, the sewer was already filled with this gassy stuff but it didn't help that Fat Cop's lower end was stuffed down there and he started getting all panicky and his body was obviously rebelling…"

"Damian!"

"…So yeah, we're all down there, sparks everywhere, and I'm choking and gagging and I just start running, man! I tear through there until I finally find another opening. I climb the ladder and burst back into fresh air and then I scream 'FREEDOM!' at the top of my lungs. Yeah…

How was I supposed to know it was the Joker's lair?!

The crazy clown is sitting there, on the toilet. The toilet! It was horrifying, and he screamed, so I screamed, and we're all screaming, and I jump to my feet and grab my weapons while he's still screaming. And we're screaming, and screaming, and screaming…"

"Damian!"

"Okay, yeah, so after we finally finished screaming the other cops crawl up and then THEY start screaming. And the cycle continues until I finally just got the hell out of there. I bolt from that stupid rest room, and whataya know! I find myself standing in the middle of a bunch of clown dudes!

I really didn't want to deal with anymore shit, so I decided to back away, and let the cops and goons hack it out. I back up like a good little boy – aren't ya proud? – and tell myself just wait. Just wait it out. Just wait it out.

And that's when the grenade fell at my feet.

I'm telling ya, Grayson, I picked that thing up and I was all ready to throw it right into the middle of the firefight the cops and goons were in. I really was prepared; but then I stopped myself, held a finger in the air, and told myself, 'No. Not what Batman would do. Not what Batman would do'. I took a deep breath, and hurled the thing AWAY from the others, feeling really good that I restrained myself. See, I was completely oblivious to those gasoline cans over there…

So, anyways, I threw the grenade and then I just ran because I decided all this stress of doing the right thing was getting too much. So I ran, right back out into the alley, and was just about a block away when BAM! Everything goes completely boom as the warehouse explodes!

…

I'm pretty sure the Joker did it."

Dick just stared at the boy in complete, utter shock as Damian finally let his arms go limp at his sides after frantically waving them around, animating his horrific story. After a few minutes of intense silence, Dick shook his head. "Y-You know, Dami, I hear that normal kids come back from school and tell their families about all the cool PICTURES they drew in class…"

Suddenly, Damian had thrown himself on top of the young man, fingernails catching a death grip on the collar of his shirt as he stared frantically up at him. "You've got to help me, Grayson," he exaggerated, voice hoarse and full of panic. "I came straight here because I know I'm gonna die if Father finds out. Help me, Grayson, HELP ME! I think there's something WRONG WITH ME!"

Dick stared down at him and then exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose. You've got that right, kid…

TWO WEEKS LATER

The voice of Vicki Vale, News 8 reporter, blared through the television's speakers. "…and in a recent court case, it had been revealed that all charges have been dropped on the Wayne case, in which billionaire Bruce Wayne's son, Damian, was accused of having been involved in a few mass shootouts as well as the murder of the mayor AND the warehouse explosion two weeks ago. However, lack of evidence has been the cause of the young man's newly announced innocence; as well as the involvement of the Batman, Robin, and Bludhaven's Nightwing, where all three gathered enough proof to show that the League of Shadows is to blame for all this mayhem, and leaving the small Wayne to walk free…"

"Oh, thank god all this is over." Bruce Wayne allowed himself to sink further into the leather sofa, running a hand over the exhausted lines stretched over his face. Beside him, Dick managed a shaky smirk.

"At least the little devil's learned his lesson," he said slowly, knowing full well any mention of Damian would send his adoptive father into another fit. Things in the Manor hadn't been… PLEASANT, to say the least, when Bruce Wayne was interrupted during a meeting because the SWAT team was surrounding his mansion and screaming for his twelve-year-old to come out UNARMED.

"I swear, I don't know what to do with that boy."

"He'll come around," Dick said, sounding a little more sure of himself this time. "At least he didn't seem to willingly cause all this, and he came to me for help. That's something. I'm telling you, the mini demon was on his HANDS AND KNEES begging for me to save him from judgment day…"

"Grayson! GRAYSON! GRAAAAAAAYSOOOOON!"

"Oh SHIT." The curse escaped both men's lips simultaneously.

And into the living room bounded Damian Wayne, panting, flushed, and soaked from head to toe. He immediately raced for his brother and father and stood in front of them, eyes holding a seemingly maniacal gleam in them. "You will NEVER believe what just happened…"

"Oh yes I can," Dick choked out, wincing already. "What the hell…"

"I was on my way back to that drug store," was the blurted interruption. "And even though I was worried something else would happen, I went anyway because, see, I had JASON TODD with me this time…"

"Oh God, kill me right now…"

"Listen to me!"

All right, so don't stop reading just yet, because the final chapter of this will be posted tomorrow! :D

Yes, mega OOCness here, but hey! This was written just for fun, so I don't really care! Comment and leave a review! :D