AN: YellowTang and cybercat08 asked for the same scene from Chuck's point of view. Since I didn't really feel like doing my homework, here it is! Hope you like it!
"It's family time."
"I know."
It had been a gamble, acknowledging that she had become part of his family, but after their goodbye on the helipad, Chuck thought it was worth it.
But something has changed since a few hours ago, when he was in handcuffs and she was silently but firmly threatening to shoot Longshore to prevent him from taking Chuck to an underground cell for the rest of his life. Something has changed. He just can't figure out what. Perhaps it's the three hours they spent digging through the dumpster trying to find Ellie's ring. Perhaps, but he has a hard time thinking Sarah would be that petty.
How many times has he unwrapped his heart for her? How many times has she rejected it? Still he doesn't learn. Still he offers it, time and again. He turns his face away from the outrageously happy Ellie and Awesome, but doesn't look at Sarah when he says it this time. He thinks if he doesn't look in her eyes, it won't hurt so much when she throws away his heart.
He's wrong.
"Goodnight," she says, and the word rings so final in his ears.
He slips in through the front door, willing a smile onto his face.
Watching his sister and her fiancé, Chuck is surprised to find a lick of jealousy creep up inside of him. He keeps his back firmly to the window, because he doesn't know which scenario he prefers. If she's still standing there, he knows she's witnessing happiness she can't, or maybe won't, participate in. And he couldn't wish that upon her, no matter how infuriated he is with her. But if she's gone, does that show she really doesn't care about him? He shakes his head firmly to clear his thoughts. Overanalyzing cannot be good, not this early in the morning, and especially not after what he went through last night.
He hugs Ellie and Awesome for what feels like the hundredth time, but can't stop wishing that he were wrapping his arms around Sarah, their bodies melding instinctively to each other. He feels a sudden burst of anger against her, and has to remind himself that this dance they've been doing is not something they can control. He sometimes wonders if she's aware of the effect she has on him, if she knows she can control him with just the right gesture, or word, or smile.
As dangerous as his feelings for her are, he can't help noticing the way she looks at him occasionally. It's those looks, infrequent as they are, that give him hope. Hope that she could someday return his feelings, hope that she sees their futures intertwining. Chastising himself for being such a fool, he clears his throat loudly, hoping to distract himself from the painful route his thoughts are taking.
He's only half-listening to their conversation, but he's able to nod his acquiescence when Awesome suggests pancakes for breakfast. Appropriately, his stomach growls, and he realizes he hasn't eaten since last night, which seems like a lifetime away. Wandering into the kitchen, he absently wonders what the food would have been like in his cell. He turns slightly, and catches Sarah still standing outside.
His body is able to forget how long she's lingered outside before his mind is. Their eyes meet for only a split second, but the sight of her, framed by the neat picture box formed by the window, captures him. The image burns into him, even as he stares at the kitchen table, begging his mind to erase her form. His hands grip the back of the chair for support, knuckles turning white with the force. Still he thinks of only Sarah.
Sarah.
He dimly registers Ellie's voice as she asks if he's okay. He nods, and stifles a mirthless chuckle when she tactfully suggests that he take a shower as Awesome fires up the griddle. He starts to make his way to his bathroom, but stops abruptly when he notices the window.
She's gone.