Kaeru-kun doesn't own Naruto. Actually, I'm not exactly sure who this 'Naruto' is...?

A/N: This is a troll. Feed me, nya. No, but really. I'm surprised I got much of a following from my first chapter. Thank you all! I'll be posting a list whenever I can of all the followers and favoriters of this story to thank them every few chapters. Anyways, you didn't come to see me talk, you came for a story! On with the show!

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Prologue Pt. 2

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"My name is Mitarashi Anko-sama!" The ponytailed girl shouted from atop her railing. I smirked and rolled my eyes, staring at the banner she'd made just for this event. "I like dango, little kids, my friends, dango, kicking ass, and kicking ass with dango!" I glanced over at Kenkin, who was sitting on the opposite side of Anko, who was trying to stifle her giggles. She was failing. Orochimaru, though, seemed little more than bored and a tad annoyed. "I hate perverts, hearing my parents when they're going at it, boys who hit on me, and people who steal my thunder! My dream? My dream is to be the greatest kunoichi to ever live!"

"Me...?" Kenkin had fidgeted nervously on the steps leading up to the Hokage Monument that we'd be introducing ourselves at. She was actually a lot like Hinata now that I thought about it. Relatively kind, caring, and passionate about her family if I remembered correctly. "Huuu... My name is Hyuuga Kenkin. I very much love my family, and I love takoyaki. I like my dear friend Anko-chan, and... Kaeru-kun. I dislike pain, and I don't like my... midnight training." I gave her a curious glance as she looked over at me. I'd always been a paranoid individual, assuming the worst. But the short, worried look she gave me was all I needed. And she realized her slip-up. But to give her credit, she kept up a remarkably calm expression. "My dream is to be a wife... and to have a family who loves me..." I watched Orochimaru's expression. It was not one of compassion or pity. There were hints of those, yes, but it was mostly of... hunger... Desire... Like a predator anticipating its next meal. I felt a wave of protectiveness wash over me. Kenkin was my friend, and I would be damned if I let her be hurt any more!

"My name... Is Uchiha Kaeru..." I sat with my elbows on my knees, my hands held together. I peered at Orochimaru over them. "My likes...? Well, I like Anko-chan and Kenkin-chan for starters. I like my parents and my little cousins Itachi-otouto and Shisui-otouto. I don't like traitors and liars." I made sure to glare at the Hebi Sannin (Snake Sage) when I said that. "My dream is to keep my friends safe." I closed my eyes and glanced over at Kenkin. "From anything that might harm them." The girl gave me a soft, sorry smile, and slowly shook her head.

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(Konohagakure no Sato, T.G. 44, 1 Year Before Kyuubi)

As we bounded through the trees, I noticed Kenkin's glances pass over me a few times. She may have tried to hide it with her Byakugan but it couldn't break the feeling of being watched that I had whenever I was, duh, being watched. Of course, we were using her Byakugan to mainly search for Orochimaru, the slippery bastard. I sighed as I felt her vision pass over me for a few more seconds. We had to get this out of the way, but after the exercise. Finally she spotted something.

"I found him," she spoke up, "Orochimaru-sensei is two kilometers to the north-east. He's in a clearing, standing patiently." I sighed. He was waiting for us. "Kaeru-kun, what do you suggest?" Anko looked over at me expectantly.

"Well, Nara-baka?" she teased with a smirk. Of course, look at the half Nara for the bright idea. "What brilliant plan do you have for us?" I sighed as we moved towards our future sensei.

"Give me a second." I thought for a minute. "Alright, here's what we do. Anko-chan, you still carry around your Chichi Chickens, right?"

"Hell yeah!"

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The look on the baka snake's face was priceless. He was covered in bruises, and rubber chickens littered the clearing. Anko and Kenkin stood triumphantly over him, a singular bell twirling around the former's right index finger. I sat back against a nearby tree trunk, eating a ration bar. They were actually just granola, nuts, berries, and other things. Not as bland and tasteless as claimed to be.

The plan went off without trouble. In fact, it was pretty easy. Orochimaru never suspected a thing. As Orochimaru bandaged the last of his open wounds, he gave us a look of disbelief. "I can't believe I'm saying this... but that was impressive." I wasn't sure to be off-put or proud of that compliment. Really, it was too easy. And kinda boring. "Well, tomorrow we will start missions. Meet in front of the gates at eight in the morning... And don't be late..." With a single handsign, Orochimaru vanished in a pile of snakes. He may have been a twisted fucker, but damn did he have style. I smirked as a tiny rubber chicken fell with the snakes.

"Nice going 'Chichi'," I gave Anko a smug grin. "Guess we lucked out on that one."

"Well, now we know one of sensei's dislikes," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Coward." I filed the information away for later on. I smiled as I stood, walking over towards my two friends. I glanced at both of them, but rested my eyes on Kenkin, who started to fidget. We both knew what was coming.

"Kenkin-chan," I started, and she took a deep breath. I frowned and motioned to the way we came, having us walk so we could have a discussion. Anko seemed to have read the mood, but promptly decided to ignore it. "Your... 'midnight training'..." I felt Anko's eyes boring into my back from behind as Kenkin walked beside me. "Is it what I think it is...?"

"I have no idea what you mean Kaeru-kun," she said entirely too quickly, with a fake smile plastered on her face. I frowned, and her facade dropped. "I... I didn't want you to know..."

"Why?" I asked, "I could have helped you!" Kenkin shook her head vigorously.

"Nothing you do can help me..." tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she spoke, "My parents... My family... they control me completely..."

"How? They can't possibly control your seal can they?" I was met with silence. "Kenkin-chan...?"

"I am Hyuuga Kenkin... Eldest daughter of Hyuuga Henzin, now the Elder of the Hyuuga Clan..." she admitted. I froze. Henzin, the former clan head before Hiashi recently took over. Her family... She had been part of the Main Branch and had been branded regardless. I knew Hiashi's little brother was Hizashi, but nobody ever mentioned a sister! And she said eldest sister...? Hiashi had two little sisters!? Wait...

"Who's involved in this 'training'...?" I asked, not really sure I wanted to know the answer. For a minute, nobody spoke. Then Kenkin admitted.

"My... brother and his friends..." My right eye twitched. He wouldn't... He was too good a person... But nobody ever mentioned Hinata's mother, just that she was beautiful and Hinata took after her.

"I said I'd protect my friends from anything that would hurt them," I told her. Her teary eyes met mine. Her pale, intoxicating eyes... Dammit. "You can come stay with my family. You're officially an adult in the eyes of Konoha, so you can make your own choices."

"I-I..." she stammered, not quite sure what to make of my offer. I sighed and rested my hand on hers.

"Kenkin-chan," I stared her right in the eyes. "You're one of my best friends. I want to help you however I can. But you have to let me…" She looked at our hands and remained quiet, her face taking up a look of contemplation. I could see she was doubting the decision. I sighed, knowing there was only one way to get her to definitively take this chance to be safe. I didn't want to use this but I couldn't let her be abused. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. She squeaked, but slowly reciprocated the advancement. "Kenkin-chan?" I muttered when we parted. I could see the fire in her eyes.

"I would be happy to live with you, Kaeru-kun!" she exclaimed, than quickly blushed a bright red once realizing what she'd said. I heard an annoying laughter from behind us, where Anko had fallen to her back and was rolling on the forest floor laughing. I sighed as we exited the forest. "Ano… Kaeru-kun?"

"Hm?"

"W-Would you please help me move out…?" I smiled and nodded, stretching as Kenkin and I headed towards the Hyuuga Compound, and Anko headed home. We waved goodbye to each other and ventured forward.

"Oi, Kenkin-chan." I spoke aloud.

"Hai?" She looked over at me, her hands held in front of her. It sorta reminded me as if she were praying. She had a smile on her face as she looked at me, however. I shook my head.

"Nothing, nothing." I smiled back. "I hope you enjoy living with me." She blushed brightly and I laughed at her embarrassment. We walked in silence for a while, thought the silence was abruptly broken.

"Kaeru-kun!" Kenkin's voice met my ears. "Cinnamon rolls!" I looked over and the girl beside me was bouncing on the balls of her feet, pointing giddily like a child towards a nearby bakery. I nodded as we headed towards the small shop. Maybe… Maybe I could love this girl…

The day went quickly and we managed to sneak out most of Kenkin's belongings from the Hyuuga Estate. While they did have the Byakugan, it was common etiquette to leave it off when not on duty, so sneaking around was pretty easy. The next day, however, spoke of ill omens…

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(Konohagakure no Sato, Uchiha Estate, January 4th, 1 Year Before Kyuubi)

The sound of puking filled my home. At first I thought it was my dad, but he was never up this early. I glanced out the window, seeing the sun just over the horizon. No, it was feminine. And coming from my bathroom. I glanced up at my bed, which Kenkin would be staying in. It was empty. I sighed and got up, seeing the light on in my bathroom. The sound of vomiting continued. I slowly opened the door and saw my recent houseguest puking into the sink, a slip of paper on the sink.

"Kenkin-chan?" I spoke softly and the girl jerked her head up. Her eyes wide with fear and filled with tears. "Kenkin-chan, what's-" I paused as I looked at the slip of paper. No. No, no, no! It couldn't be! That wasn't possible! 'Result: Positive'.

She couldn't be! Hinata wasn't born until after Naruto! Her birthday was still a good twenty-two months away! I froze. No. The only other brother she had was… No… No… Fuck… NO!

"I-I'm sorry Kaeru-kun…" she wept. "I… I-I'm… P-P-" I rested my hand on her shoulder as she looked up at me with tear filled eyes.

"What do you plan on doing?" I gave her a soft look. I was looking… at Neji's mother… Instead of answering, the young Hyuuga wept into my shoulder. I could feel my brain pounding away in my head. She was Neji's mother. His aunt as well. I knew the Hyuuga were not opposed to incest but to actually experience it… Sure, I'd witnessed the pains of rape in my former life. I hate to admit it didn't affect me all that much anymore. I would offer my condolences, tend to the victim as well as I could, and promise to remain by their side as long as they wanted me to; which usually didn't last very long. But a case like this… was completely alien to me. This was… in essence my best friend. A girl who, from what I could tell, had a minor crush on me. A girl who believed in me… And I'd let this happen to her… "Kenkin-chan…" I whispered. "Do you want to keep the child…?" I realized my mistake as soon as I'd made it. The poor girl wept even harder. Dammit Kaeru, of course she wouldn't know.

"Y-Yes…" she mumbled between sobs. "T-Three m-m-months…" I silently cursed to myself. Of course… Neji had been born sometime midway this year… She would have had to be pregnant before last year ended… Of course she'd know by now… "Y-You don't ha-ate me…?"

"I could never hate you…" I sighed, caressing her hair. I looked down on her. Her tear-filled, pearl orbs looked back into mine. I felt something tug at my heart… Like… as if I'd seen something like this before… Or something similar. But where? I opened my mouth to speak again as if on instinct. "I will never abandon you, even if the rest of the world does. I promise, and I never break a promise." I ignored the stronger tugging at my chest and led her back to my bedroom. As I sat on my futon, Kenkin did something to surprise me. Instead of getting in bed she sat on my lap and hugged me. Neither of us spoke a word. If it weren't for the recent news, I'd have thought it romantic. It took me a moment to realize that she was muttering "I'm sorry" over and over again under her breath. I felt like an old man again, comforting my grandchi- I blinked again, my eyes narrowing. I thought… something had resurfaced. I'd long forgotten most of my old life, but I knew well enough I'd never had a family. I ignored the feeling, filing it in the back of my mind for later, and closed my eyes and held the weeping girl. I realized how hard it must have been to keep this secret. From her family. Her friends. From… the rest of us. All of her pent up emotions… were suddenly being released like a dam.

Sing to her, suddenly popped up in my head. I blinked again, looking around for my parents. Nobody. But that feeling… Those words… Sing idiot! It always works! I frowned and tried to make sense of those words. I couldn't possibly be going crazy. Not this early in my life. Just do what I say dumbass! I sighed softly and decided to file away mysterious words in my head for later as well. I had something more important to take care of. Instead, I started whistling out a tune I'd loved from my past life. Something I'd written out in this one simply so I'd never forget it.

"Short steps, deep breath
Everything is alright
Chin up, I can't
Step into the spotlight
She said, "I'm sad,"
Somehow without any words
I just stood there
Searching for an answer

When this world is no more
The moon is all we'll see
I'll ask you to fly away with me
Until the stars all fall down
They empty from the sky
But I don't mind
If you're with me, then everything's alright

Why do my words
Always lose their meaning?
What I feel, what I say
There's such a rift between them
He said, "I can't
Really seem to read you."
I just stood there
Never know what I should do

When this world is no more
The moon is all we'll see
I'll ask you to fly away with me
Until the stars all fall down
They empty from the sky
But I don't mind
If you're with me, then everything's alright
If you're with me, then everything's alright…"

I stopped, noticing that Kenkin had fallen asleep with a light smile on her face. I wiped away her dry tears and laid down, not bothering to move the girl from where she was. She needed the sleep. I lightly kissed her forehead and drifted off alongside her.

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(?)

"Daddy!"

"Love… I'm pregnant again…"

"It's a beautiful boy!"

"Da~ad, _-kun won't let go!"

"I'm worried about our kids, dear…"

"Dad, I can totally kick your ass now!"

"You need to talk to them."

"How'd you beat me again?"

"They're too close for siblings…"

"Dad… I…"

"Daddy, I'm…"

"I'm in love with my little brother/big sister."

"Honey you have to do something!"

"What do you expect me to do _!? I can't decide who they love!"

"It isn't love! It's disgusting! You are their father so do something!"

"We are gathered this day-"

"I won't separate a genuine love!"

"-to bring together an unlikely pair-"

"Then they aren't welcome in this household!"

"-in holy matrimony."

"I will support them. I won't allow them to suffer."

"You'd choose your brats over your own wife!?"

"_... We do what we must…"

"…Because no one else will…"

"I love you…"

"…I love you too…"

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(?)

I 'awoke' in a white limbo. I sighed and blinked, trying to remember anything more of that bizarre dream. "What a cliché place for a first meeting, isn't it?" I blinked at the somewhat familiar voice and looked around, finding nobody. "It's about time, too. I was starting to get bored." Suddenly someone materialized right in front of me, forcing me to scoot back. "And after seeing your life, boring seems to sum it up pretty well." I looked up and groaned. In front of me stood an older man with soft, rounded features. He had a black, albeit graying goatee and the same color hair tied back in a rattail. His eyes were sharp and calculating, but held a certain gentle amusement one would find from a hardened grandparent. And he wore the most irritating smirk I'd ever seen in my life. It was one that suggested that he was better than you, and knew it as well. He wore what could only be described as 'fancy' clothes. Tattered beige leather coat? Check. Long, faded jeans? Check. Expensive looking brown leather shoes? Oh, very expensive looking. He looked like a massive prick.

"Who the fuck are you?" I growled, standing up and dusting myself off. "Where the hell are we, actually?"

"Well as to where we are, I'd say we're in your head," he chuckled. "Quite an empty spot to, Mr. Nara." He gave me a patronizing grin. "If I had to say, you're extraordinarily empty-headed."

"Are you gonna keep insulting me or do I have to beat the shit out of you?" I threatened. Something about this guy was pissing me off, and I couldn't place my finger on it. The man frowned slightly at my response.

"Ah, you've gotten quite a short temper now. As you are, I have no doubt that you could whip my ass into three or four parts, but soon enough that won't be possible. You're quite the interesting one Mr. _. Oops! It's Uchiha now, isn't it? Ah, but I've taken enough of your time. That young lass in your arms is starting to stir. I'd get a move on if I were you. We wouldn't want anyone to worry about your well-being after all. Ja ne." And with that, the asshole seemed to dematerialize, along with the white limbo-ish world.

(Konohagakure no Sato, Konoha General Hospital, July 3rd, 1 Year Before Kyuubi)

To say I was stressed would be putting it lightly. I was terrified. As I remained pacing out in the hallway I could hear Kenkin's cries of pain. She'd been in there for about ten hours. With every shout I twitched. With every scream I bit down on my lip and drew blood. I may have gotten my second tomoe from simply getting worked up but it meant nothing to me if Kenkin didn't survive. Nothing meant anything if she didn't survive.

I hadn't even heard from the weird asshole from six months ago, so there was me thinking I was going crazy. Anko hadn't been much help either. Her teasing only proved to make things worse. Orochimaru-sensei was making things even worse, leering at Kenkin as if she were some gift-wrapped test subject. It'd taken all my power just to make him back off. My parents were even worse, believing that I had been the one to impregnate Kenkin at first! It was all sorted out later on, but dad had been especially harsh during training.

I shut my eyes as I heard the Hyuuga girl scream in pain. I hardly noticed the hand come down and rest on my shoulder.

"It'll be alright, Kaeru-kun," a relaxed voice reached my ears. I sighed, looking up at the blond Jounin. "Trust me, she'll be out soon enough." I nodded slowly, taking deep breaths.

"I really don't see why we have to be here, sensei," the ever calming voice of the masked chunin offered his almighty comfort. "Neither of them are even our teammates. What happens to them doesn't matter to us."

"Kakashi-kun…" Rin…

"Oi! Shut your fat mouth before I break it teme!" and of course, Obito. Never did I ever expect to meet the full Team Minato in all their glory. "What's going on is amazing! I hope I get to have kids someday!" As Obito started to laugh obnoxiously, Kakashi drove his hand into the Uchiha's skull.

"Shut it, dobe! This is meaningless!"

"Maa, maa, boys. Obito-kun, now isn't the time to be getting worked up." Minato chided, causing the young Uchiha to sulk. "And Kakashi-kun, today is an exciting day for our fellow Leaf comrade. We should be happy for him." The silver haired nin scoffed and turned away. I winced at Minato's words though. Kenkin and I had decided to disguise her child as ours. It would cause less of an uproar among our friends, and Hizashi would most likely back off knowing she 'belonged' to me. While he had most certainly backed away, I would notice him glaring at me from afar if he caught sight of me.

"I'm having another cousin," a young Itachi spoke up. I smiled down at him and rubbed his forehead.

"Yes… You are. I hope you treat him well, otouto." He nodded in response.

"Ah, well I suppose we should leave, Kaeru-kun," Minato spoke up, stretching. "We have a mission tomorrow after all."

"Oh, where to this time?" I gave them a suspicious glance. Ever since the Third War had started, I'd been inquiring on every mission they went on.

"The Kannabi Bridge," Obito grinned excitedly as he spoke. "We finally get a worthwhile mission!" I nodded, smiling slightly. I knew what I had to do.

"Say, you don't mind if I tag along, do you?" Minato gave me a wary glance.

"Shouldn't you be staying here with Kenkin-chan and your child?"

"I need to support them somehow."

"You can do that well enough after you've settled down."

"I want the head start."

"You might not make it."

"I don't plan on dying."

"Nobody does."

"My plans always work."

"Always is quite a-"

"Just let me go, Minato-san." I glared at him, my Sharingan blazing. I had to get on that mission! The blonde man sighed.

"I can't let you go, and that's final," he said and started to walk out. "Come along, team. We have a long day tomorrow." I growled, my fists clenched. I had to go on that mission. The future depended on it.

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(Omake: Kenkin's Diary, Part 2)

Dear Diary,

I had a horrible dream! I dreamt of a man covered in shadows destroying Konoha! He was up in the sky and suddenly a huge crater was made where the village once was! It was terrifying, and I couldn't do anything to stop the destruction! There was slaughter everywhere! I was so scared… But then a man that looked like Minato-sensei appeared and beat back the other man! But what really scared me was the end… When everything was finished… I saw that the shadowy man had Kaeru-kun's face… When I woke up I was sleeping with Kaeru-kun though, so I felt much better. Oh please Kami, don't let this dream be real!

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A/N: A little bit of light foreshadowing and that's a wrap! I'm surprised how popular this story became! As promised I'll be putting this one on hold for a while and working on some of the others. I've been getting massive bouts of writer's block though, and work and school aren't helping. Don't mind the timeskips, I'll fill them in eventually. If I remember them. Ah, well, this is mostly Prologue anyway. The real story starts in a few more chapters. And trust me, I got a twist to knock your socks off! Well, two of them. I can't decide which I like more though… Hm… If I had a beta this would be much easier. Aha! If you'd like to beta my stories, it'd be much appreciated! Please apply via PM! Ja ne!