Ahhh!!!! Wats up pplz?!?!? Here is the next chappy…hope u like it!!!!!
Disclaimer:
Me: I own Twilight!!!
Bella: no you don't
Me: yea I do…
Bella: oh really? *raises eyebrows*
Me: in my dreams
Bella: that's what I thought
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha could not resist..anywho, on with ze story!!
Previously: As I walked to class, I couldn't help the limp that came with me. During my torture, I had been kicked in the stomach and when I was thrown onto the floor, my leg had twisted in a very sick angle. Oh well, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. And as I opened the door I saw. . .
Chapter 2 –
I saw my worst nightmare when I walked into class. No teacher, Mike, Tyler, Tanya, and the whole football team. I immediately realized that I was in the wrong room, and that I had to get out of there fast. I tried to make a run for it, but collided with what felt like a brick wall. I looked up from where I fell and saw the guy from earlier, and he looked pissed. He glared at me, and it made me do the only thing I could do well. I screamed.
"SOMEBODY!!! HELP!!!!!!!!" Came the blood-curdling scream that erupted from my lips. I knew someone had to hear it, but no one came. The big man that was blocking my view, stepped aside, and I ran. I ran as fast and as far as I could without hurting myself even more, or falling. I made it outside to where the benches were, and I sat down and cried and cried. My sobs turned to short, raspy gasps. I could barely see and my head was pounding.
I'm having a panic attack. I thought blindly. I knew there was only one way to calm my nerves down, and that way was at home. . .With Charlie. Looking around frantically, I saw the most beautiful object sitting pretty in the early light: a broken bottle. I grabbed the piece of it, and slashed down on wherever I could, trying to get rid of everything. I think this was my worst panic attack yet because, when I looked down, there was nothing left on my shirt anymore. I sighed. I got up and had to cling to the bench I was so dizzy. I looked at the puddle of blood that was still filling in. My blood. Now how am I supposed to explain this to Charlie? I yelled at myself. The teachers would be kind of suspicious if they saw a random pool of blood, a broken bottle, and a blood trail leading away from the sight. Oh yea, that would go over real well with the big man. But strangely I didn't care. Why should I care? I was a worthless, pathetic, slut who didn't deserve the air I breathed.
Looking down at my arm again, it was as if I had just looked at it, and I almost puked. My arm was like ground up meat at the butcher shop. I quickly ran to the bathroom and nearly fell, twice. When I finally made it to the bathroom, I ran to the sink, turned the water on, and just ran and reran my arm underneath it, till it looked decent. I realized, after I'd stopped the water, that it was my blood matted shirt that made it look so gruesome. I grabbed my bag form the secret panel I found in the bathroom a couple years ago. In it I had all of the necessities. Peroxide, Band-Aids, an extra shirt or two, and a whole lot of cover-up lived in that bag. I poured half of the bottle of Peroxide onto my arm, and I winced slightly at the sizzling it brought. I remembered when my mom used to put this stuff on my cuts and scratches and I would cry because of the pain. I laughed at that. Me and pain go way back. I am practically married to pain.
Once all the Peroxide had cleaned and stopped the bleeding, I dug through my bag to find my other long sleeved shirt I had in here. It was my favorite. It was pitch black and right where the heart is located, it has a heart with a bullet hole through it, and the heart is shattered. I put that shirt on after I took my other one off. And once that was done, I began applying the make-up. It took forever to finish, but I did. I looked at the clock and saw that I had 5 minutes before class ended. I got all of my things together, put them in the hole, and looked at myself in the mirror. I started to tear up at my reflection, but thought better of it.
"I am a worthless slut." I whispered to no one in particular. "I'm sorry I made you leave us mom. If I wasn't so stupid and pathetic I would have made you stay." By the end of my little speech my voice was cracking on every other word. But I knew I could not cry here. Not now. Sighing for what seemed like the millionth time, I made my way, slowly, out into the hallway and to my next class. Which just so happened to be Art. I grimaced. I mean I'm good at art . . . Okay take that back; I am the BEST artist in this whole damn school!! I could even rival Pablo Picasso, and Leonardo Davinci. I didn't realize where I was until I bumped into a short, pixie haired girl. I fell down, and landed on my broken rib. It took all I had not to screech in pain.
"Oh my gosh are you okay??" She said to me. Funny, she almost looks like she cares. Don't get your hopes up Bella!! My head told me. I knew I was right. Like anyone would care about me. I looked up at her and saw undying concern in her eyes.
"Yea I'm fine," I said grudgingly. "Don't worry about it." I was trying to get up, and she must have saw how difficult it was because she helped me…WAIT!! SHE HELPED ME?!?!
"There you go," she said softly. "Where is your next class?"
"Uh, Art, why?" I asked her.
"Really?! I have Art too!!" She was squealing and jumping up so much I thought she was going to burst. She realized this and stopped. "Oh sorry, my name's Alice, what's yours?" Like she would care.
"Isabella, but I liked to be called Bella." I shrugged. "Hey," I asked her as we were walking, "why are you talking to me?" She looked hurt that I had asked that.
"Why wouldn't I talk to you Bella?" She looked at me like I was crazy. I sighed before turning to her and answering her in a glum, dead voice.
"Haven't you heard the rumors?" I sighed again. "I'm the freak, and worthless piece of shit that goes to this school. I have no friends because no one wants to talk to me. So I don't understand why you're talking to me." I was near tears, but I couldn't let her know. I met her eyes, and almost lost it right then and there. She looked as if she were going to either cry or punch someone.
The look disappeared, but was still there in her eyes when she answered. "I have heard them, and I don't believe them at all. You are not a freak, Bella. And besides," she said as she opened the door to our Art class, "I want to talk to you. And me and you are going to be the best of friends, I just know it!!" If Charlie doesn't kill me first. I thought to myself. Looking at Alice though, I could actually believe it. I went over to my easel, and sat down. I had mine at the very back of the class, away from all the other students. The only person who came over was Mrs. Funkurdoder (pronounced funk your daughter =D). She didn't mind that I was in the back, even though there were so many seats in the front and the middle, because I was her best damn student. I won an Art contest a year ago, and won a whopping $400.00, but Charlie took every penny of it. Nowadays I'm lucky if I can find a penny or two. I was so deep in thought while painting that I didn't even notice when someone came up behind me and gasped and when someone sat down next to me. I looked around and saw Alice and Mrs. Funkurdoder gawking at my easel. I turned around and gasped. On my easel was an amazing painting (pic on profile). It looked like it had taken hours to do, instead of minutes.
"What?" I asked, totally out of patience. Sometimes the gawking really irks me. They recovered, but only slightly.
"Ms. Swan, if I may, that painting would go amazing in our newest collection of "A Winter Night." If I may ask, how did you accomplish this in just 10 minutes?" She looked at me with disbelief, and awe.
"I don't care to the first, and don't know to the second. I was simply thinking, and this painting just came to me." It wasn't a complete lie, but just as bad. I was actually wondering how I would die. Alice looked liked she didn't believe me, and the Mrs. Funkurdoder was too focused on the painting to even care. Whatever floats her boat.
I was about to say something more, when the bell rang, signaling for my next class. I sighed as I got up. Now to endure my favorite class of the day, Mr. Banner's!! I thought with too much sarcasm. Mr. Banner was the only teach who actually said my flaws aloud and to the whole class. Not that I cared. It just hurt like hell. One more class Bella. Just this one more class, then lunch, and you finally get to be with your piano, and with Ms. Rhoads. I told myself. That made me feel better, but that feeling disappeared when I walked into class and sat down.
(Was going to stop, but decided to continue!!)
*Mr. B's class*
When I sat down, I noticed, once again, that I was the first one in the room. It doesn't matter, Mr. Dickhead will probably just make me stand in a corner in what he calls "deserved punishment" or maybe today he's let me wait on his hand and foot. I always loved doing that. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't even notice when someone came in front of me and cleared her throat. I jumped slightly, and looked up to see Miss Priss. Really her name is Lauren Mallory, but my nickname for her suits her better.
"Yes Miss Priss, how may I not help you today?" I asked in my innocent voice, that I had just for her. I looked around when I heard some chuckles and saw that the whole class was here, even Professor Dickhead. She glared at me her hardest, and I pretended to yawn. "Really Miss Priss, come on you have to do better than that to make me cower in fear," and that was no lie. She smiled, well really sneered at me, and walked up to Ilikedicks and whispered something in his ear. I swear that girl can make a rock puke. He smirked at her, gave her a wink, and as Miss Priss walked to her seat, Mr. B was interrupted with whatever he was about to say with a knock on the door.
"I wonder who that could be," he murmured. He walked over to the door, opened it, and let in the bronze haired god from earlier. "Ah, Mr. Cullen is it? Well, um let's see if we can find you a seat . . . hmm how about with Ms. Swan over there." And he looked, well really glared in my general direction, and I just looked away. I hated new kids. And as he was walking to the desk, in the back where I sat, Mr. Dicklicker continued where he left off. "As I was saying, it is very unpleasant seeing you Miss, oh whatever is your name? No wait, don't tell me. Is it, Imademymomleavemebecauseiamworthless (I made my mom leave me because I am worthless)?" He laughed then, as did the rest of the class. I just had my head in my folded hands on the desk, not caring that much. But what he said next pissed me off. "Oh Isabella, I heard that you were a bad girl this morning and skipped first period. For that you have to go stand in the corner." I looked up and he was pointing at a corner, the one that dripped from the ceiling and smelled like old socks. I just sat there, looking at him. "Now Isabella!!" He said. Again, I didn't move. I just shrugged my shoulders, and resumed my previous position. He said something under his breath, put his book down, and came over to where I was. All the kids were whispering and laughing. When he came over to me he yelled in my ear so loud, I thought it was going to burst. "ISABELLA, IF YOU DO NOT GO INTO THAT CORNER I WILL PERSONALLY TAKE YOU THERE MYSELF!!! NO WONDER YOUR MOTHER LEFT YOU!! YOU ARE JUST A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT THAT DOESN'T DESERVE THE AIR SHE BREATHES!! YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS!!!" As he said the last part he grabbed my hair, and yanked me to the floor, where I landed on my arm, which I just now realized was throbbing and pounding so hard, that when I hit the floor, a blood curdling scream erupted from my lips. He just laughed, and yanked me upright, where I spit in his face. "You bitch," he said as he wiped the spit off of his face. I immediately knew I was in deep shit. He was one of Charlie's fishing buddies. I didn't see the hand coming across my face until I felt the tingling pain of the blow. My hand immediately went to my face, but he just hit my on the other side as well. By now the whole class was laughing at my humiliation. I got up, and ran away from the room, grabbing my My Chemical Romance bag from the table in the process. "And don't come back," he yelled at me.
"I don't plan on it!!" I yelled back to him as I slammed the door. Once I was outside of the classroom, and far enough away I sunk down to the floor and sobbed. I cried for Jacob, I cried for me, I even cried for my mom despite the fact that she left me. I looked up when I heard footsteps. And as I did, I wiped away the tears, just in case it was one of the hags from hell, as I liked to call them. But instead, I saw the big dude from earlier. And from the looks of it, he was heading straight for me. When he got too close for my liking, I turned to run, but didn't get all the way around when I felt cold hands wrap around my waist. I screamed bloody murder.
"Shh, it's okay I'm not going to hurt you, shh. You don't have to be afraid." His voice was deep and scary, and yet I felt calm, sort of. I was still thrashing about, although not as much. His grip was making me feel cold and I could barely breathe. My vision was going fuzzy, and I could hear my heartbeat in my head. I heard someone shriek.
"Emmett!! Put her down, she can't breathe!!"
"Alice?!?" I gasped. I felt myself being dropped to the floor and immediately regained my reserve back. I lurched to my feet, and had my back pressed against the wall. In front of me, with a guilty and shocked face was the man whose name I now guessed was Emmett. Alice was horror struck, and I was scared shitless. I was still gasping for breath and fighting the darkness, when I heard more footsteps. I looked down the hall, and saw the whole gang from this morning. "Oh just great!!" I croaked. "Just what I need, more people to thrash me around. What the fuck do you people want with me?!" I was tired of this shit. Not only do I have to deal with it at home, but the teachers do it to me, and Tanya and her posse. And now the new kids had to torture me as well? No way in hell was I going to let that happen!! I mean sure I deserved it, but they were only here for a maximum of 3 hours!!
"Bella how can you say that? We are trying to help you." There goes Alice with her all wise and knowing bullshit. I rolled my eyes with another sigh.
"I do not need your help. I am absolutely, positively, most definitely, no doubt about it, listen to what I am saying k? F…I…N…E!!!! CAN YOU NOT FUKKING COMPREHEND THAT?!! OR DO I HAVE KNOCK IT INTO YOUR THICK ASS SKULL?!? I DO NOT NEED ANYBODY TO TAKE CARE OF ME. I HAVE BEEN DOING IT SINCE I WAS FIVE FUCKING YEARS OLD!! I DIDN'T NEED ANYBODY THAN AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T NEED ANYBODY NOW!! SO JUST BACK THE FUCK OFF!!" By now I was screaming, the words barely comprehendible because my voice kept breaking, both from my breathing starting to hitch up, and the fact that I was nearly choked to death. What a great way to have my day start off!! I had turned away from them slightly, and had my eyes closed in an effort to control my breathing. I was taking what I believed were deep, calming breaths, until I was breathing heavily and I could feel the familiar pounding of my heart.
"Bella, are you okay?" I heard someone ask, but the sound was muted, due to the ringing in my ears.
"Shit!!" I gasped out as I fell to my knees. I was panting and could barely breathe, and it felt like I was going to either die, puke, or pass out, which I hoped options 2 and 3 were not going to happen. Death. . . .Now death I would take beautifully. It would end this living hell called my life. I felt some people come around me and were trying to get me to stand, but my body wouldn't have it. "Please, just let me go. This happens a lot," was all I could utter out, until I felt someone grab my waist, right where I had my broken ribs. My body immediately became clear, and I screamed. The people holding me let me go, and I was already running before they regained their composure. I bolted for the closest door, which just so happened to be the main doors, leading out to the quad. As soon as I hit the fresh air, and was far enough away, I stopped. I held my breath for a second, let it out, and took a deep breath, repeating the steps until I felt calm enough to think about what had happened. I knew that I was just overreacting when I yelled those harsh and hateful things to Alice, but hey they were true. Well at least as true as they are a lie. I did need someone to help me, but I can take care of myself. I sighed, once again, and immediately winced in pain. I pulled up my shirt and saw that my rib was almost about to pop out of my skin. Just take a deep breath Bella, I told myself, as I placed my hands in the spot that they had always been every time Charlie broke one of my ribs. I put the slightest pressure on it, and then taking a deep breath I shoved and pressed so hard, that a screech of sheer terror and pain shot through my lips. I kept screaming as I pushed and twisted, until my ribs were finally in place, but my throat was bone dry from screaming. I knew I had to find a drink, but the only place where I could get one was at school.
I began walking back to school, and when I got there, and looked at the time, I knew that I was 10 minutes late for music class. "Shit!!" I said as I started running as fast as my injured body would allow, towards the music room. When I got there, I was about to knock on the door, when Mrs. Rhoads opened the door.
"Bella, I believe that this is a first for being late for my class. Do you have a note for saying why?" She held out her hand as she made way for me to enter the room.
I gulped a couple of times before I answered. "No Ma' am, I don't have a note saying why I was late. I. . ." I didn't know how to tell her.
"Why were you late Bella?" She asked, her temper rising. I could tell her a lie or the truth. Hmm, which one would be better? Oh, I um, sorta kinda fell on my way and I didn't go to the nurse cause she hates me. That was the lie. Or I could go with the truth: since I was 5 my father has been beating, raping, and abusing me...this morning I got jumped by Mike, Tyler, and Tanya, and then I was choked to death by the new kid named Emmett, and then I ran off and I had to place my broken ribs back in place, and that's why I am late for your class. OH SURE!! SHE'LL REALLY CARE THAT I'M ABUSED AND RAPED BY THE PROTECTOR OF FORKS…YEA RIGHT!!
"BELLA!!" She yelled at me. I flinched at the tone of her voice and backed a couple of steps away from her. She immediately realized that she scared me and in a softer voice said, "Bella, I am sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I only want to know why you are late to my class."
"I…I…I" I stammered. I honestly did not know what to tell her.
"Don't be afraid freak!" Some kid yelled. I immediately started to tear up. "Aww the wittle fweak is guna cwy!!" And then he made a procession of crying and then cutting himself. It was almost too much to bear. The teacher told Kyle, that was him name, to stop being so ignorant, and cruel to me. "Teacher pet," he mumbled as I walked towards the piano. When I sit down though, I noticed someone else was sitting there too. I looked up and saw the bronze haired god from both before school and when Emmett was trying to kill me. He looked over at me, and I just glared. He looked confused and so he wrote something down on a sheet of paper and slid it to me.
(Bella italicized, Edward bold)
Hey, wat's wrong? Did I do something to upset you?
I read the note and had a hard time not laughing. So I snickered instead.
Oh nothing, despite the fact that you new kids are as bad as the rest.
What do you mean? I haven't done anything to hurt you!!
Yet!! That's what everyone always says or does, and then they end up being just like—
At that point Mrs. Rhoads came over and took the note, which she presumed to read aloud. "Bella, Edward, what is the meaning of this?" She looked at each of us, and I didn't know whether to yell, blush, scream, bolt for it, or just tell her to fuck off. "I want an answer, and I want it from you Bella." My head shot up at that comment.
"ME!?! What the hell did I do?" I was very on edge and my choice of words shocked her.
"Well, first you are late to my class, haven't attended any of your other classes except Mr. Banner's, which you left in the middle of, and now you are passing impudent notes to the new kid!"
"Oh yea? Well maybe you would like to know why I 'skip' classes, Mrs. Rhoads, since you seem to think that I am the bad guy here, when really I am the one who is fucking innocent!! All you people are exactly the fucking same!! You say one thing one minute and then 5 minutes later, you turn your back on me!!" By now I was in her face and screaming at her. I tried to take a deep breath, and gasped at the pain in my rib. I almost fell to my knees, gripping the piano for support with one hand, while the other held my rib.
"Oh god, Bella, are you okay?!" She immediately turned into that protective teacher like attitude. It made me want to puke.
"WIL YOU PEOPLE STOP ASKING ME IF I AM OKAY?! I AM FINE AS DAYLIGHT MRS. RHOADS!! I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO ASK ME IF I AM OKAY, I FELL AND HIT MY RIB, IS THAT FINE?! DOES THAT SATISFY YOUR CURIOUSITY SO THAT YOU CAN GO TELL THE OTHER TEACHERS THAT POOR LITTLE ISABELLA GOT HURT AGAIN JUST BECAUSE SHE WALK ACROSS A FLAT SURFACE WITHOUT TRIPPING OVER HER OWN TWO FEET?! OR MAYBE YOU WANT TO BRING MY FATHER IN HERE AND LET HIM DECIDE WHAT WOULD BE BEST FOR ME!! I AM FUCKING FINE OKAY?! I HAVE HAD ONE OF THE SHITTIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE, AND I AM NOT FEELING UP FOR MORE PSYCHOTIC TREATMENT!!" I was steaming and knew that I would be in deep shit when I got home. Mrs. Rhoads had gained her composure by now, and was looking at me with a concerned expression.
"Bella, I won't tell your father or write you up or send you to the office or give you detention. I just wanted to know why you were being so hostile towards Edward here." When my temper flared and I was about to tell her off, she interrupted me, "it's okay, I get it, something happened, not my business right? Besides like I would want to know what you two did, that obviously has you two in a fuzzy knot." And with that she smiled and I laughed a little. I felt better, kinda. Mrs. Rhoads told me to come over to her desk, and when I did she gave me a lollipop and a sticker that said BE HAPPY AND SMILE!! I laughed at that some more, and went to sit down. I felt immensely better.
I also remembered that today the class was lengthened by 45 minutes because we had missed a day two weeks ago, and we needed to make up for it. Charlie had given me hell when I told him, but to keep up with appearances, he allowed me to stay. I was pleased with that, but I also knew that I would have a hell of a lot to deal with when I got home. My thoughts were interrupted when Mrs. Rhoads began to talk.
"Does anyone have a piece that they would like to share with us?" She looked around the room, and I sighed and bravely raised my hand. "Yes, Bella?"
"I would like to play a song I made last night if that would be alright." I said this with confidence because I knew that everyone else in the room would pissed that I can play so amazingly, and part of me wanted to show Edward that I really don't need someone to help me, when I so desperately wanted one.
"Very well then, umm if you would like to we can all have a seat in the proper chairs whilst Bella enchants us with her Mozart worthy talents." She smiled and winked at me.
After everyone was seated I turned slightly towards them, so that, shocked they could see that I had no sheet music in front of me. I went up to the microphone, and said, "This piece is called River Flows in You, I hope you like it." And with that, I sat at the ivory keys, took a deep breath, and began to play. My finger flowed across the key effortlessly and as each second passed, I became more and more exquisite. I heard gasps and turned up a notch. And to surprise them more, I continued playing and smiled at them, without looking at the keys. But as the notes drifted, I began to feel so alone and vulnerable. This song was my life, and it was supposed to show how I suffered and all that I got through, in these complex and luxurious notes.
As I kept playing though, I felt the presence of more than just my music class in the room with us, but I was so absorbed in my music that I didn't even care to notice fully. And as the last note filled the air, a moment of poignant silenced filled the room, until it erupted in applause.
I turned around and saw the whole school population standing there, applauding me!!
"More Bella, please play more!!" I heard from the most unexpected person in the world: Tanya. I thought she was going to try something, but she honestly looked like she wanted to hear me play.
I motioned her forward and asked her, "Why do you want me to play? I thought you hated me." She merely laughed.
"Bella, I maybe not like you, but that is amazing music that you play, even though you still are a slut, I love listening to you play. Care to come play for my family's reunion?" She practically begged me. I was shocked.
"Sure I guess, but why?"
"Please Bella?! We will pay you $100 every half hour you stay, and the party thingy is around 5 hours."
"$1,000 Tanya?! Are you seriously going to pay me that much?"
"If you don't play more, I won't pay you a dime."
"Deal!!" I went up to the microphone and said to everyone, you want more?" I got a loud response. "Okay, this next song is called Kiss the Rain." And I walked back to the keys and began to play yet again.
As soon as I started playing, the whole room became silent. I felt a sort of saddened pride. I wish my mother were here to see me play, and was proud of me. I though glumly. I felt the ears start to fill in my eyes, but I just couldn't hold back a single tear. As on tear fell on the keys, I heard some whispers.
"Why is she crying? She is amazing, she shouldn't cry. I wonder what's wrong. Maybe it's just the music." It was a velvet voice and that just made the tears flow. That comment hurt a thousand times worse than my mom leaving me, and my dad raping me. And at last the song ended, and right as it did, the doors burst open and an angry voice I knew only all too well screamed.
"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I WAS WORRIED SICK!! YOU NEED TO COME HOME NOW!!!" I swear his voice reverberated off the walls. I got up as fast as I could and went to him.
"Dad, I told you that I had to stay after school today," I tried to reason with him, and I smelt the alcohol.
"Get your butt in that car now!!" He said to me in his deathly calm voice. I immediately went without a glance or a word to the people who may or may not hate me.
When I got into the car, Charlie's forehead had a vein popping out and he was a sort of purplish color, and I did not like it at all. I. Am. In. Deep. Shit.
I was in for a long night. And all too soon we arrived at the hell house. With a yank of my hair and punch to the head, I gladly fell into the black waters.
Yay!! Another chapter complete!! Do you think I was a little too much on this chapter?!? I hope not!! Please review!! They would be so appreciated!!
Love you
Lexi was here!! =D