Step by step
Chapter 2
My nerves get the better of me. I'm wondering just what the hell I am doing? Why am I doing this?
Then I see why. I see his figure in the distance, watching me. Dressed smartly. Smarter than I've ever seen him before, but still it looks wrong. After my earlier encounter with the military Adonis, Artan pales onto comparison, but he always did. His suit cheap, ill-fitting and hanging on his pathetic form. I don't love him, I know that. Hell, I don't even like him. So again, I ask myself why?
Then I catch sight of my Bella, and my mum moving closer to me. Both happy, excited by the day's events making me realise that I have to have to go through with this if I still want them in my life. The secret threats made by my father many times, and even as recently as the night before, the heated confrontations with Artan, have all led up to today. Their constant bullying working and eventually making me realise I can't do anything but go through with this.
I'm too much of a coward. I don't like the pain or the upset this could bring me. Not mentally, mentally I couldn't give a shit about my feelings, but physically...well let's just say that some guys know where and how to hit, and Artan was exceptional in that department. Nowhere obvious, nowhere that leaves marks, or raises questions, but still his fist, his hands upon my person inflict more than just marks. I'm scared of him, what he's capable of and I have no other options.
I know my time is short. That I need to move forward. My Mum's arm gently pulling me along with her. Closer to the group gathered. Closer to my inevitable fate.
"Hang on mum. I need a wee." I hear myself say, and watch as she registers my request.
"Ok love." She sweetly replies.
Oblivious to the reasons of me through with this. Unaware at how much of a monster her husband is. She thinks is all because of love, and she's here to make sure her baby girl has a good send off.
"I'll wait here." She kindly offers.
"No." I firmly reply. Wanting some alone time. "You go up. I'll follow." And with that she starts walking away. Only too happy to start the celebrating. Only too happy to join her husband, who has been in a better mood lately with her, and she doesn't know why, but won't question it. She wants to enjoy the small wins in life.
"You want me to stay? Bella asks. "Help you with the dress and that?"
"Nah. I'll be fine." I bravely say.
"Yeah sis but what about them stairs?" She continues, nodding her head to an imposing stair case. "You'll break your bleeding neck in them heels going up there on your own."
I try to laugh. My heels, borrowed from proud Mary are high, pointy and pretty awful, but they were the only choice. My 'something borrowed' everyone assured me. In fact, I'm not wearing anything bought just for me. The dress wasn't new either. A charity shop job, fairly decent, but a million miles away from something I'd have chosen.
"I'll take the lift." I reassure Bella. "Go. I'll be two mins."
She sets off running too on hearing the angry mutterings of our father.
I turn away and walk into the smart toilets of the Town Hall. Savouring my last few minutes of freedom.
I'm not alone in there. There's a beautiful bride in here with me too. Her dress, I notice is new, expensive, her shoes obviously bought for the occasion. Her make up looks professionally done, unlike mine. She looks perfect, the opposite to me, apart from the tears and the huge sobs rolling from her body. It's obvious they ain't happy tears. This beautiful woman is quite clearly heart broken, but I'm too caught up in my own misery to care.
Eventually she leaves, no words are spoken and I'm alone.
I stare at myself.
Just turned 18, it's meant to be the start of my life. Yet all I can see are years of drudgery, hell, and lots of different kinds of hurt ahead of me.
There's no other way though I know that. Seen how me Mum's life has been, though I'd hoped for better, it wasn't gonna happen. Hardship, broken dreams, second best; it's what happens to people like me. We get the shit end of the stick each and every time.
I man up. Leave the toilets and call the lift. It was only two floors up to the room but even though today is the worst day of my life I don't want to break my neck on the stairs. I keep my promise to Bella and enter the lift, ready to ride up to my destiny.
I hate Elvis for what he made me do. I had to break that poor girls' heart and I don't know why. Only yesterday he was telling me just how much he loved her. How Georgie was the one for him. His everything. And then this morning, the phone call, telling me he couldn't go through with it. That was all, no explanation, and me, his so called 'best man' has to be the one tell her.
She broke right there and then front of me when I told her. I've never seen anyone so hurt, well not since Rebecca, my ex-wife. The woman who cheated on me, then played the victim when she was caught out and I told her it was over. But Georgie's reaction today actually outstripped anything I've ever seen. I could actually pin point the second her heart broke and the rage boiled up in me. He was her world, Elvis was her everything, and he just destroyed it. Proving to me that love really is for mugs.
I delivered the awful news and then left. Too much of a coward to stay. Too guilty to ever look in her eyes again. So, I left quickly, running away from the destruction I'd caused on Elvis' behalf.
Away from anything I could do with weddings. I even upset a future bride to be with all my hate for the institution of marriage. A young scared woman that I crashed into on my haste to leave. I spoke spiteful, angry words to her, even though she didn't deserve it. Even made her cry too. Feeling even more of a shit as I watched how her beautiful green eyes had filled up with tears at my assault on the pointlessness of her upcoming nuptials. It was meant to be her happy day, and just like I had done to Georgie, my words had probably ruined hers too.
Shit. In my haste to leave I noticed I left my gloves behind. I remember taking them off to wipe my brow moments before I broke Georgie's heart. Angry with myself even more so now. I was in two minds as to whether I should go back for them. Then realising the hired ceremonial sword, I carried, and Elvis' presumably back at the hotel, needed to be returned to the armoury tomorrow wearing full kit I knew I'd need them back and soon.
I doubled back at speed. Praying the Georgie and Elvis' wedding that didn't happen party would have disappeared by the time I arrived.
I was in luck. The place was mainly empty. There was just a small group of hanger ons, so rather than risk bumping in to them, to avoid all the questions I didn't have the answers for, I made my way for the lift.
"Hold it please." I commanded and the doors slid to a stop and rebounded open.
I stepped in and was surprised the young bride, the one I had been unkind to, from earlier was standing there alone.
"You again." She sadly called out and pressed the button to take us up. "Going up?" She asked as the doors started to close.
I just nodded and stared ahead. Now my anger had calmed considerably, I felt ashamed about how I had behaved.
My mother, if she'd seen me, right after she'd finished chopping Elvis' balls off for what he did, would quickly have turned to doing the same to mine for my ungentlemanly behaviour. That was not how she'd brought me up.
The lift rocked to a shuddering halt, a grinding noise, a brief period of darkness then stillness.
"You've got to be having a giraffe mate." The young bride said as she bashed the control pad with her hand frantically.
I moved forward. Taking command.
"I'm fairly certain hitting it like that isn't going to help." And I reached out and gently pulled her hand back.
"Watch it mate." She spat out as she snatched herself away from me.
"Sorry." I mumble. Annoyed now at how I'd behaved, both before and now. Slightly hurt at the way she looked at me. Though not understanding why.
We stand patiently once I press the lift alarm and wait. There's no telephone, no communication pad. Just a red button and the expectation that we should wait out.
Time passes, minutes and minutes. The lift is small, and the heat is building. I move to loosen my jacket. Mindful I only have a tight sleeveless vest on underneath. Standard issue, and potentially, not the best look in polite company. That's me always the one to make the right impression I scoff to myself. Except when breaking a bride heart, I muse.
"Do you think they know we're here." She asked quietly.
"Probably." He answered back, a bit too sternly. Then looking at her he asks. "God don't tell me your claustrophobic." The words come out rather sharply.
"No." She replied with determination. Shaking her head at him. Then added. "I'm not. But you're still a wanker."
The words were said under her breath. He turned unsure her heard her right. Then watched her and took her in. Of course, she'd be worried, disappointed, sad. It was her wedding day after all and she was stuck here in a lift with a very rude stranger.
"I'm sure we'll be out soon." He tried more pleasantly. "You'll make it to your wedding."
The heat was starting to become unbearable and he checked his watch. There had been stuck for just under ten minutes. For both of them it had seemed longer.
"Besides." He tried to joke. "Aren't brides meant to be fashionably late?"
She grinned, softening and when she did, he realised just how beautiful she was. Her eyes quite startling. Features about her he'd never seen because of his anger and haste. He thought whoever was going to marry this girl, well he was a lucky man.
"Yeah. Well maybe it's a sign." She let out.
He was going to ask her what she meant, but just then shouts drifted down to them.
It wasn't the best news either of them had heard. The lift they were told didn't seem to be just temporarily stuck, it was worse than that. A major power cut over the whole town had outed everything. The Town Hall was being evacuated and they were to prepare to be stuck for a few hours or so.
He heard the news and was dismayed. Today had been the worst. He wanted to forget all about it. He'd expected her to be upset, vocal, after all she was going to miss her own wedding, so when he turned, he expected the worse. What he saw surprised him.
She was smiling.
"You ok?" He asked. Concerned she might have been in the verge of hysteria.
"Couldn't be better mate. Could not be better." She grinned back as she pulled the wilted flower arrangement from her hair. Throwing it on the floors. "Lady Luck was smiling on me, today wasn't she?"
"What?" He was amazed. He thought a bride stuck in their lift on their wedding day was anything but lucky.
"Lady Luck!" She went on "You know? Fate and that. Answered me bleeding prayers. Didn't she?"
"Thought you'd be upset. Missing your wedding." He asked, amazed. "Are you sure you're ok!"
"God yes!" She pulled another layer of her decorations out and her hair fell down her shoulders. Her smile, her cascading long hair momentarily mesmerised him. "I'm Molly by the way." She offered her hand. "Molly Dawes."
He took it a bit too eagerly.
"Charles. Charles James." He offered back.
A giggle escaped from her. Then she looked bashful.
"Sorry. Just Charles and that... sounds a bit posh." The cocking her head at him muttered. "Guess you are though."
The past couple of hours had been awful for Charles, he had little sense of humour left in him. Yet her laughing at his name for some reason didn't make him cross. He liked it, like her giggle, and even smiled back at her.
"That's ok." He replied. Forgiving her. "God it's hot."
"You must be sweating in all that." She waved her hand over his uniform.
"Could say that." As he unclipped the ceremonial sword and went to sit down on the lift floor.
She joined him and when she was settled, he noticed she wasn't that bothered about her dress getting dirty, he looked shyly at her.
"So, Lady Luck?" He asked. "What's that all about?"
She spent a moment of two considering. Wondering how honest she could be with this handsome stranger.
"Didn't want to get married, did I?" She confessed. "Had to."
"Oh!" He answered. Then again said. "Oh. Well I mean shit. Are you ok then?"
"Yes. Why wouldn't I be." She truly questioned him. "Dodged a bloody big bullet today I reckon."
"Good for you." He offered encouragingly. "Besides plenty of women do it on their own. Bring up kids and that." He offered.
"What?" She shrieked back. "I ain't pregnant mate if that's what you're thinking."
"Sorry." Charles muttered out. "When you said you had to... I just presumed. Sorry."
"That's all right." They slipped onto an uncomfortable silence.
Molly didn't mind. It gave her the chance to watch him. He was a pleasure to behold. He was young, but older than her she reckoned. Stunning in the looks department. Mid to late twenties, and with what seemed to her to be the weight of the world on his shoulders. He even, now the angry side seemed to have gone, appeared to be an alright guy. Well out if her league, she knew that, but she could dream.
"So what? You're in the Army or something." She asked, then giggled. "And not a stripper?"
"Yes. Amy or something." He replied. "And no not a stripper." He strangely found that he wanted to know more about her, but was unsure how to ask. "You?" Was all he came out with.
"Me? A stripper?" She smiled, but then seeing his disapproval changed her answer. "And no, I'm not bleeding Army?" She spoke with amazement in her voice. "I don't think so mate."
"No. I just meant what is it you do?" He stared at her, her hair almost the colour of straw, unnatural, wrong for her, but her eyes, her eyes were perfect. He'd never been so entranced by someone's eyes before. "Anyway, why not the Army? What wrong with it?"
"Nothing." She smiled back. He had a strange way of looking at her. "Just never thought."
Again silence. He checked his watch. It had been over half an hour and the building heat saw him stand and take off his uniform jacket. He smiled slightly to himself as he caught her checking him out from the corner of her eye. He sat down closer to her this time, but still a comfortable distance apart.
He was worried he'd stink, after all the nervous energy, and the running he'd done today. The heat of the small metal box they were tapped in would soon become unpleasant if he stank it out with his sweat. Whereas all he could think of was just how fresh she smelled. No heavy clawing perfume most brides chose on their wedding day, just a clean crispness about her. He liked that, liked that a lot.
"And you?" She asked. "Married?"
"God. No." He laughed out. "Was. But now not."
"So, what you doing here today then Charles? You were royalty pissed off before." She asked.
"Yeah sorry about that." Then he turned to her, something compelled him to want to talk to her. "Had to tell a bride the groom wasn't coming. Not my finest hour." He confessed.
"Shit." Was all she said.
"Indeed." He replied back. "So, what about your groom?" He cautiously asked. "Will he be ok?"
"Artan?" She looked surprised. He'd never even crossed her mind. All she'd known is that she wasn't marrying him today or any other day. How he was feeling never came into it, reinforcing just how little she cared. "He's probably down the Duke of Windsor hitting on me bridesmaids." She laughed. She no longer cared.
He looked appalled. She continued.
"Look we weren't loves young dream and that. Don't know if I even liked him. So, I doubt he'll care." She explained.
He again said nothing. It was all too complicated and he didn't care. Oddly all he cared about was the here and now, something he hadn't felt for years.
"It was me Dad you see. He was forcing me to marry him."
"Shit Molly. I'm sorry." He finally said. He looked at her with such sympathy and horror she felt inclined to tell him the whole story.
He'd never heard such a tale before. Something from a Jeremy Kyle show he thought. Thinking his day had been complicated and hard, it was nothing compared to what Molly, or even he guessed Georgie was going through. Whereas with Georgie, someone he'd known for the past year as Elvis' girl, he felt sad for her. However, with Molly, the girl he'd known for a matter of hours, hearing her tale, all he wanted to do was to protect her. It was odd. It was so not like him. Since Rebecca he'd remain uninvolved with anyone. Hearts broke too easily and he wasn't willing to risk that again.
"So, what now Molly?" He asked.
"Don't know. But I do know I ain't ever being bullied again by them again." She paused to think. "I guess I'll have to leave home. Me Dad won't put up with me forever."
"You got anywhere to go?" He asked. Suddenly very concerned for her.
"Not really. Me Gran's couch for maybe for a few nights, but that about it." She grinned at him, but he saw it was false. "Don't worry about me mate. I'll survive."
He smiled back. "You know Molly I bet you will."
Suddenly just as they had stopped earlier the lift now restarted. Cool air rushing in as the door opened on the ground floor.
They both stepped out cautiously.
He knew no one would be waiting for him. He watched her though look around for a familiar face among the lift repair team.
"Anyone here to meet you?" He asked as he saw her face drop.
"Nah. Don't look like it." She offered back. Feeling abandoned.
"How you getting home?" He asked. Sad they were to say good bye, for some reason this brash girl had gotten under his skin.
"Don't know." She admitted then looked down at herself. "I ain't got any money on me. No pockets you see."
He kicked his heels and he readjusted his jacket and reattached the sword.
Suddenly she spoke, coming to a decision.
"Gonna look a prize prannet I guess but I'll have to use the tube or walk."
"The tube?" He asked. Confused. "Thought you had no money?"
"Yeah, well, I don't, but there's ways. If you know what I mean." She winked at him conspiratorially.
"No Molly. No." He understood. He moved outside with her and saw it was raining. "You can't walk anyway. Let me shout you a cab."
"You can't do that." She smiled at him. "Thanks though." Touched by the kindness of a stranger, when even her own family hadn't cared enough to see her home.
"Yes, I can, and I bloody will." He stretched out his hand to hail a taxi. "It will make up for me being such an unpleasant wanker before." He smiled back at her.
She giggled. "Didn't think you heard." She answered back.
The taxi pulled up and he guided her into the back seat, and heard her shout out her address to the cab driver. He estimated the distance and handed over the money.
She leaned out of the window as it started to pull away.
"Thanks." She shouted at him. "It was nice meeting you Charles James."
He stood and watched the taxi pull away. His hand raised in a farewell gesture.
"And it was really nice meting you too Molly Dawes. Really nice."
And then he turned away, full of the memories of the bride who never was, with the most captivating green eyes he'd ever seen.