A few days had passed since the confrontation in science. I had avoided Quil, but he didn't seem to mind. He had been spending time with Jake. Whenever anyone saw them, their heads were huddled close together, seemingly in debate. Over what, I couldn't tell you. I quietly surrounded myself with preteen estrogen.

"You need to get over him." Bella said, assuming the role of older sibling again. She knew about my feelings for Jake. Honestly though, it wasn't as if I could turn on and off my emotions. When I fell for a guy, I fell hard. She should know that by now.

"But Bella, I can't. I just can't help it." Even though I was distancing myself from him, I missed him. Missed seeing him laugh when Quil said something he wasn't supposed to; missed talking to him, even if it was about his ever-growing fan club; missed his eyes. The ones that melt people. Remember?

Charlie walked in the door, smiling as he saw me.

"Well, little missy, come on over here and give me a hug." He was always like a father to me. With my dad away so much, I needed some paternal guidance. But I couldn't talk about Jake with him, like, there.

Bella called from the kitchen to ask if I was staying for dinner. Seeing as I hadn't had dinner with my mom in a while, I was here so much; I declined and decided to walk home. I had things to think about.

And for once, it wasn't raining. I could admire the greenery without the wet. My house was only a half a mile away and it shouldn't take me too long to get there. My thoughts kept flickering to the last time I saw Jake. He was with Quil, naturally, and a piece of paper was between them. As I passed by, both scrambled to cover it. Even though I swore that I wouldn't, I looked back and saw Jake smiling at my retreating figure.

Why are they acting so weird? Did they know? Did they care? I had no idea. I liked him, really did. But, why was I always questioning myself around him? It's not like he cares. It's Jake. It would be weird to think of him as just a person because he meant so much more. Before I knew what was going on, I was at my house, my mother no where in sight.

She wasn't working today, where could she be? I called for her all over the house, and tried her cell. No answer. This was unusual; she always tells me where she is.

I got dinner ready, just in case she walked through the door from the gym. When I expected my mother and a reprimand about being home earlier, I found a note at the bottom of my backpack.

Dear Anela,

I can't live without you. You are the light of my life, and I just wanted you to know how I felt. . .

Yadda, yadda, blah, blah

Love you, Jake

What. The. Flipping. Heck. Is this the paper they had earlier? My face burned.

What were they thinking? Did they not think me competent? How dare they use my feelings for Jake to mock me? Why would they do this? How could they do this? One thing I knew, I was not going to cry, not one tear.

After mom showed up, gym again, and dinner was served and cleaned and put away and my shower and after crying, I decided to confront Quil the next day. He was the worst liar and I couldn't face Jake with that. The decision made, the only hard part would be to go through with it. I would, maybe.

School was even worse than usual. I had two tests, something to present, and student government. Not to mention Quil and Jake weren't even there. I dragged through the day, depressed without Jake's sunny personality, not that I wanted to see him. No, I didn't. Not at all. But I thought about him, like I knew that I would.

After an especially monotous day at school, I went to Quil's house to see if he was there. I was talking to myself as I walked up to the front porch.

"You can do this. You have to do this. No, do not run back. You are almost there. Just do i-

"Just do what?" Quil asked peeking around from the side of the house, scaring me to death.

Jake rounded the corner of the house. When he saw me, he stiffened.

"Hey Quil, I gotta go. See ya round. Bye Nela." He didn't actually speak to me, more to an area above my head.

As soon as he crossed the street and out of earshot, I pulled the crumpled note from my pocket.

"What is this?" I hissed. I hated being mad at him for this. But, wouldn't you be mad, too?

"Uh, well. . . Ja. Um, eh em." He stuttered.

"Will you answer me sometime this year?"

He hung his head. He led me around the back of his house on the way to the beach. I loved the beach. Even though I miss the heat, the dark blue ocean water was always a welcome comfort to my so-called-water-deprived self. The waves crashed onto a broken bed of rocks. This was the spot where Quil, Jake, Bella, and I played pirates and princesses. And more recently, the spot of our girl talks, Bella and me.

Pulling me out of my reverie, he said something, but I didn't quite hear it.

"He knows, Anela." Quil said, straightfaced.

"Who knows what?" I had to play dumb if I had any chance of getting to know what was going on.

"Jake knows that you like him." I was a bad liar because he saw right through me. Apparently, so had Jake.

"What?!? Even if I did, which I don't, it doesn't give you or Jake the right to mock me this way. How could you?" I was almost too flabbergasted to speak.

Quil just looked at me, full of regret. He didn't say anything else, even to my futile protests for him to explain himself. I was. . . Shocked to say the least. He had always been my best friend, well, besides Bella. We had shared so much. How could he throw all that away because I liked my best friend? To try to straighten things out, I spent the night at Bella's.

I showed her the letter that I found. She read and I waited. For anger or pity to reveal itself, I guess. I wanted her to have the same reaction on the same page as mine had been. When she looked up from re-re-re-re-reading the letter, there was a spark in her eye that kinda scared me. She. Was. Pissed.

"HE DID WHAT?!?!?" She shrieked, although we were expected to whisper because it was a school night and Charlie didn't really need to know the extent of my boy drama, or lack of it. I shushed her.

"I don't know, he-I. Well, I guess. I" I tried to stammer. The tears that I had been supressing were going to make their way to the surface.

"Don't worry Anela, I'll take care of this." Her mouth set into a grim line. I was afraid of how Billy Black would find his son after Bella was through.

We went to bed. In the middle of the night, I was awakened by some awesome other-dimensionly-being telling me what to do. Or something a little less melodramatic. I was going to write him a letter.

Dear Jake,

I am so sorry. Especially because I've made things so awkward between us. I do like you. I love you, as a brother. I couldn't bear for our friendship to end because of something so trivial. Were you afraid that I would be, like them? I kinda was, too. But, I know that I am not. I do not want to date or be anything more than a friend to you. I want things to stay the way they are, or rather were. You are so smart. I think that we will find a way to work through this. I don't know what I'll do if we can't.

Love ya, Nela

I hated to lie. But to like to him? That was a sin in my book. It was necessary to repair the broken fragments that my misdemeanor feelings had caused. It would work out. I just hoped that this was enough to fix things.