It was in the grate hall at the beginning of teh year adn evry 1 wuz siting at the tables and eating food wating for Dulmbdoer to takl. As usal the wer all wondring wo teh defence aginst the dork arts techer wud be. Then dumlbor stood up and sad that it was Ozzy. Then crazy train startd plaing and evrythign turned into a mosh pit and ron changed his name to Azrael becuz it was more metal than weasel becuz weasls ar small an dfurry and not metal at all. Evry one in gyfirdor and ravenclaw and even Hufflepuff (because badgers are fucking badass I dont giv a siht wut anyone says.] but the ppl in slithern didnt go in the pit and just stud by the walls being lame becuz they are all emo pussy scene bitchts and not tru metal. Sirus plack rose from the ded and made an awesome guitar solo and then everyone jizzed their pants except the slythens cuz they arent true metal and only listen to blood on the dancefloor and pussy scene shit wit auto tune and brekadonws and siht. Fuck that shit! So instead their faces just melted off and the all. The next day they were all in denece 'ginst the dark arts and the lerned but Patrounouses and Ozzy's was a dove with its head bitten then every one did lots of cocane and drugs and stuff. The next day it was Care of magicle cretures. Hagrid was like "today were going to learn about unicorns" "unicorns r gay' sad Malfoy "shut up" sad Azrel , ur the gay 1. Then hagird was like her is a unicorn. The unicorns name was Javier and it was pale blue and sparkly. "k-thats reaaaaaly gay sad mafloy. Ur actually rigt sad Hary. Almost as gay as your blood on the dance floor t shrit. Fuck you all sad Hagird. This Unicorn will RAPE your ass. "but if its a boy unicorn and it rapes him in the as, dosnt that actualy maek it gay? Lik in a literal sense? Sad Hermoine? Shutp! Sad Hagird. It will rap you too. So its only bi so its like half gay. Then Javier jumped over the fence and started raping ervyboddy with is massive six foot unicorn dick and malfoy got impaled like a fucking shiskybob and then Hagrid started rapping becuz he had turned into his secret alter eggo Swagrid. And then a bunch of people died and it was metal as fuck. When Javier finished raping evryoen he flew away on a fucking rainbow and then Stargazer by Rainbow started playing and evry one who wasnt dead did a shit ton of acid and smoeked lots of weed wile Sirius Blackmore was playing the guitar. (edn of chapper oen)