A/N: Okay I deeply apologise first, for the significant error made in naming this story. This story gives an alternative path as to what happens after the elevator scene in 7.12. It does not include the scenes in 7.13 so I'm really sorry for any confusion! To make this easier, this will be renamed as 7.13.
Warning: Self-harm is mentioned in this chapter. If you're not comfortable, please don't read it. I've no experience with it myself so I deeply apologize for any inaccurate psychological errors the characters might have with regards to this issue. Purely figments of my imagination.
11.15 pm.
It wasn't hard to run.
It was fucking hard to breathe.
Arizona kept running, down the block, down the street, past the playground, past the park they used to frequent, until her legs gave way and she fell to the ground, shaking with sobs. The wounds on her wrists hurt, but that didn't matter. It made her feel.
Anything was better than the pain inside her. The pain that Calliope Torres caused her.
The pain that her sweet, sweet love had made her feel.
When she finally looked up, night had fallen. She was in a clearing within a forest. Derek's forest area, she realized dimly. But she didn't think of finding his trailer. All she wanted to do was to stay where she was and do something. Anything to get all this anger out. She just couldn't control herself when she began scratching at the ground, her fingers digging further and further into the soil. Her carefully manicured nails were blunt and dirty but it didn't stop her. When she hit stones, she pulled them out and threw them away, imagining them to be many Mark Sloans and flinging them until she couldn't see them anymore.
It wasn't until after she heard a crow cawing somewhere in the distance that she stopped and truly realized that she was in a dangerous area. Derek had once told her about the wild animals that inhabited the forest.
Fear settled in but she couldn't move.
Crack.
A branch cracked behind her and she froze.
Was it a bear? Would it attack her after all the hurt Calliope made her feel? Would she be left to die there? Perhaps she'd be mauled to death and no one would ever find her. That made her fragile heart flutter strangely with a bit of hope.
Perhaps it would be better to die this way than of heartbreak. Anything was better than heartbreak.
She took a deep breath, and turned around.
Don't scream, just face Mr Bear and let him tear you apart. You're torn apart inside already anyway.
When she turned around, disappointment welled up within her.
It was Derek.
Derek was on his knees in an instant beside her, arms holding her tight. It was a cold night and Arizona was cool to the touch. He would have to watch out for mild hypothermia.
"What happened, Arizona?" he asked softly.
Her bloodshot eyes filled with tears and she looked away, not wanting to talk. He sighed sympathetically. He could guess it had something to do with Mark and Callie. Derek merely pulled her closer and lifted her up gently before trudging back to his trailer.
Meredith had been waiting for Derek's return for a while now, after he spotted something moving too quickly for their liking outside their window.
What if it was a burglar and he hurt Derek? He didn't bring his shotgun…
A shout at the door made her open it hastily, only to find an unconscious Arizona in Derek's arms. His pained gaze met hers as he carried her across the threshold and into the trailer. Derek and Meredith went from being friends to doctors, as they stripped her and checked her over.
"She's probably mildly hypothermic. Get the heating pads from the kitchen and a few blankets," Derek ordered, falling easily into the attending-resident relationship they shared. Meredith went to take everything required and Derek opened his medical bag to clean the wounds he had found on her arm.
"Oh, Arizona, what did she do to you?" he whispered.
He retrieved some medical alcohol from his bag and proceeded to gently wipe her wounds, removing the soil that had covered her wrists. Meredith returned with a pile of blankets and proceeded to wrap them around Arizona. Derek cleaned out the wounds with antiseptic cream before wrapping the bandages around her wrists, ensuring that they were snug before sitting back to survey his work.
They could only hope she wasn't any worse emotionally than she looked.
Arizona woke up a few hours later, feeling hot and cold. Warm arms were there to take her and for a moment she thought they were her Calliope's. That made her feel... Loved? Betrayed? Crushed?
She didn't know.
"Calliope?" she croaked out, mouth absolutely dry.
She opened her eyes and reality hit her in an instant. Calliope couldn't be here. She wouldn't be there for her anymore. Tears started hitting her cheeks again and her body shook uncontrollably with sobs, but the warm arms were there.
"It's alright; Derek and I got you here. You're safe, Arizona. You're safe with us. Could you look up for me so we can check your condition?" Meredith tried to calm her down with a gentle tone, rubbing Arizona's arms for greater effect.
They took her temperature, frowning at the rising temperature she was running. When they got to her wrists however, Arizona froze and abruptly pulled away, looking anywhere else in the room but at them. Derek Shepherd took a hand into his and gently held it, squeezing to show support.
At this simple gesture, Arizona looked up at him. For a moment, Derek could feel the pain that she was feeling and that made him feel his heart clench in sympathy. He knew what it was like to be in a great deal of pain, and he had been like her once a very long time ago.
He stared directly into her eyes and asked calmly, "What happened, Arizona?"
Almost as if she was a doll running out of battery, Arizona looked as if all the energy had been sucked out of her and entered into a dazed mode. Looking as if she was back in her memories, she replied in a monotonous tone, "My sweet Calliope's pregnant with Mark's baby. Guess that forever we planned never had me in it..."
With that, she just lay back down and shut her eyes tightly, willing herself to just sleep. A nudge to her shoulder with two pills in her hand made her swallow it and she took the glass of water gratefully. Turning to face the worried couple, she attempted a small smile and said, "I'm fine, I just need to...sleep."
She knew she looked like a goddamned mess. Her eyes were fucking swollen and her wrists? She was in pain but she couldn't feel it. That shouldn't have been the case, and that's why she did it. As she faded into blissful unconsciousness, she remembered the last time Calliope had kissed her.
They were in bed that morning before she left for Africa. She knew with a heavy heart that it wouldn't be in Calliope's interest for her to suffer in Africa with her, but she selfishly wanted her there. She just hoped Calliope would be able to make it there together with her and that they'll stay together.
Callie had just woken up and a good stretch made Arizona giggle as it gave a great view of her ample cleavage. Her girlfriend smiled at the sound of her laughter and pulled her closely, nuzzling into her neck.
"Good morning," she whispered, suddenly awestruck at how awesome her girlfriend was. Her girlfriend was giving up everything she knew and owned, and to travel across half the world to be with her. To keep her promise of forever, even if she would have trouble adapting to it.
"Good morning baby," Callie replied her, leaning in closer for a kiss. Soft hands threaded through her blonde hair and she revelled in the closeness that she shared with Callie. She loved how she could be the only one to ever see Callie this way, and be the only one to ever feel this loved.
Arizona leaned back into the pillows, letting Callie take control, exploring her mouth gently as their tongues caressed each other. Callie's kisses could be the most gentle or harshest, but they were the best she had ever received.
That kiss was so perfect.
Just like her Calliope.
"Arizona, pick up! Come on, just pick up," Callie muttered under her breath, eyes on the road as she re-dialled Arizona's cell phone for the umpteenth time. She looked around the block, hoping to find her girlfriend crouched somewhere.
That drop of blood changed everything. Changed the whole ball game, so to speak. It meant that she had finally broken Arizona. The perky, happy Arizona and she didn't know what that meant, what that entailed.
She just hoped Arizona was safe.
A buzz from her phone made her heart skip a beat and she stopped her Thunderbird by the corner of the deserted street, before she picked up. "Arizona? Is it you?"
"It's me. Blondie still nowhere to be seen?" Mark's gruff voice made her even tenser than she should have been.
"She wouldn't have run off if you didn't come up that stupid idea. I don't want to hear from you or see you now, Mark. I might be losing her forever this time, so I don't find it funny that you call her Blondie," Callie snapped.
If only she hadn't been so stupid. Now she'd gotten herself up the duff by her best friend and Arizona could possibly be dead by the time she found her. She didn't want to ever imagine the love of her life, dead. But as things went...
"I'm sorry that this happened Cal, you know I'd never wanted it to come to this. Is there anything I can do now? " he replied, tone softening.
Callie sighed. "Right now, you better pray that I find her. Meanwhile, get out on the streets and try to find her. I love her, Mark, I really do. So until I find her, don't ever talk to me again," she said before hanging up.
Where are you, Arizona?
It had been a long night for both of them. Arizona's fever ended up reaching to a degree too high and refused to come down. The wounds looked infected when Meredith was changing the bandages the next morning. They ended up rushing Arizona to the hospital that same morning, but to Seattle Presbyterian because she didn't want to see Callie or Mark. The moment she was admitted however, protocol dictated that she had to be watched constantly for anymore suicide attempts, especially since she was a surgeon and knew how to do so effectively even under constant supervision.
Arizona felt even more on edge than ever, having Nurse Pollock sit in her room all day, just...staring. It was unnerving and frankly annoying. If only her wounds would just heal and they let her explain her way through. If only she didn't have a fever to boot. It would have been worse at SGMW, she mused. The gossip mill there was more effective than the speed of labs being run even, and everyone would know in an instant. Her landing in hospital for doing something so stupid would only be exposed eventually, she knew that. It was only a matter of when, and how.
On the other hand, Callie spent the night roaming the streets of Seattle in her car, her heart tightening after failing to find Arizona in every street she searched. A quick check of her phone.
4.34 am.
She sighed and made a u-turn, starting her journey home. The moment she reached, she made a beeline for the bed, ignoring any questions from Yang. She wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right now. Curled up in bed, tears started flowing as she caressed her stomach, hoping to find solace in her unborn child.
"I'm sorry you have to grow in such a situation. I never thought I'll have you like this, expected to have you with Arizona, y'know? But I'll never give you up, and you'll be loved, if it's the last thing I do..."she whispered softly, hoping her child would hear her.
It did hurt to know that Arizona had such trouble accepting the situation, but it was understandable. She was happy that she didn't freak out in that elevator even...
"I don't believe you." That was her response to what Callie had told her.
"Arizona-"
"No! I trusted you. I was in Malawi, crying my eyes out over you, barely eating or sleeping and you slept with Mark? You're having his...baby?!" she hissed, yanking her wrist out of Callie's grasp.
Silence.
A broken laugh from Arizona startled Callie. "God, how could I've been so stupid all this while? I thought you loved me, Calliope. I love you so, so much and I flew across the world back to you. How could you do this to me?" The blonde pressed the button and ran out of the elevator, this time running faster.
Once again, she bailed. Again.
Could she really be blamed though? It was Callie's fault. It had been her fault all along. She just hoped that she could find Arizona soon. The last thought that filtered through her mind, before she dozed off, was whether Arizona would ever accept her baby...
9.30 am.
Nobody had really seen a fuming Derek. Well, Mark was the exception really, because he was always at the receiving end of McSteamy's ire. The thing was, Derek Shepherd rarely got pissed off. If he actually got angry, something huge must have happened. So when staff and patients alike saw his unshaven face and the grim look in his eyes, they knew something was up.
They just didn't know what it was.
Callie was standing by the coffee cart, debating with herself whether to drink coffee or to abstain for Baby's wellbeing. She had full view of the nurses' station and Mark was trying hard to get her attention by waving to her furiously like the oaf he was. She rolled her eyes and the next moment, Mark was on the floor, Derek having jumped on him and socking him in the face repeatedly. It took two of the male nurses to hold Derek back, who looked absolutely enraged and seemingly raring to go for another round at Mark.
Callie was absolutely horrified and rushed forward to help Mark up, who was cradling his jaw and wincing in pain. "Ow, what the hell was that for!" Mark exclaimed, one eye shut and starting to swell already.
"You know what you did. This is way over the top Mark and it's dirty, even for you," Derek shouted. He always knew one day Mark's whorish attitude would get him in deep shit, but this was way serious than he had ever, ever expected.
Arizona had never turned her back on him when he needed her help with Zola. He wasn't about to betray her and defend his best friend. It was time for someone to finally be on her side.
"What do you mean, Shepherd?" Callie had a sinking feeling she knew what he was talking.
That look in his eyes said it all.
A strong grip held Derek tightly against the counter. "Where is she, Derek? I need to see her," Callie whispered urgently, panic rising. The fact that Derek was so enraged meant that something had happened to her. Something really bad.
"In a hospital, and no thanks to that man-whore or you," he hissed.
Callie froze. "She tried to -" She couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence. She tried to kill herself?
Time always seems to change when moods change. One moment you're ridiculously happy and could be prepping for a trip to Africa in just a few weeks, and time flies by as if they were a few days. The next moment, you find yourself in hot soup and someone's life is on the line. What do you do, when the next second seems like forever because what happens could change your life? What do you do, when it could change your life for better or for worse?
Derek must have seen her inner conflict and how she truly felt, for all the fight in his stance just left and the harsh stare in his eyes softened.
"Seattle Pres. She cut her wrists, Callie."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed. I know quite a few people wanted this story continued, so here it is. :) Not very sure where this is headed so don't mind me. :)