Chapter 5:

Back at the hospital Henry sat in a darkened room next to his only son. Thinking about the events of the day. Henry was so proud of his son for being a hero and saving Buzz's life but how was he going to handle the news about never walking again. His son is a strong willed person but he is not a strong person.

A couple of quiet hours passed then Henry started to see signs of life coming from his son. Shawn was 33 years old but all Henry could see when he looked at him was the 8-year-old boy who used to curl up on his lap when this pain is going to take a lot longer.

Eventually the beautiful green eyes that always made Henry smile opened. Groggy and only half awake Shawn began to try and sit up. Henry gently pushed him back down and told him to take it easy and asked what he remembered about the day's events.

Shawn sat back and began to think, "well I went with Buzz to investigate a home invasion, Buzz told me that he was going to be a Daddy and once we got to the house I saw that there was a gunman at the door he was aiming at Buzz and I tried to push Buzz out of the line of fire but I guess the creep hit me"

Fidgeting in his bed he looked panicked at his father. "What is wrong I can't move my legs?" Hoping that it would take a little longer than five minutes to make this discovery but knowing Shawn was always quick he sighed and began to inform Shawn of the extent of his injuries.

Henry began with a sigh, "Son, you were hit in the back and the bullet hit your spinal cord in the Thoracic region" Shawn interrupted "Oh God I am paralyzed?" Henry trying to give his son some hope told Shawn that the bullet damaged his cord and there was still a chance that when the cord healed he would regain some function.

Shawn laid back in the bed not believing what he had just heard. He let out a deep breath sighed and repeated the words "I am paralyzed" over and over again. The words were not directed at anyone in particular he was just saying it to try and convince himself of what he had just heard.

Henry patted his only sons arms and reassured him that he was never going to leave his side and that he would be there to help him through anything. The words fell on deaf ears Shawn was still mumbling trying to wrap his brain around his injuries.

The nurse came in and injected the next dose of sedatives in the younger Spencer's I.V and within minutes Shawn was out like a light. Henry took the opportunity to go down to the cafeteria and get some food and coffee. On the way back to Shawn's room he ran into Gus. Gus was worried about his best friend and when he saw Henry he ran to give him a hug. How is Shawn was the first thing that Gus asked.

Henry took a deep breath lets sit Gus. When Henry said that the first thought that ran through Gus's head was his best friend was dead. A very tired Henry began to explain all that happened that day and how the bullet entered the back and damaged the spinal cord. He sighed again and told the worried best friend that he had woken up earlier and he couldn't move from the hips down.

Gus was in shock, Shawn got hurt a lot but he was always fine in the end. A broken bone here an operation there but Shawn ALWAYS bounced back. How is Shawn going to react to rolling back to health? Henry admonished Gus reminding him that if Shawn needed a best friend anytime in his life it was right now.

Gus shook his head and told Henry that walking or sitting they were best friends for life and nothing was going to change that. Henry smiled and gave Gus a guy hug. "Would you like to go see him Gus?" Henry Chimed. With a shake yes they were off down the hall to room 145.

The two men sat in silence staring at the sleeping man in the bed. Shawn was so full of life and energy and well just generally full of it. He did not take well to change. When his parents divorced he ran away for years before calming down and coming home, what was he going to do know.

The silence of the two men was broken when he heard a faint Gus from the bed. Shawn was awake and he was glad to see his best friend. Shawn thought for a second and asked Gus "aren't you supposed to be at a drug convention till Friday?" Gus smiled and told some story about how the conference was really lame so he bailed to come hang with Shawn.

Shawn smiled at the attempt of his best friend and told him that he appreciated him coming to the hospital to check on him. He asked Gus if Dad filled him in on what happened? Gus smiled and said, "Yep, your Dad said that you were a hero". He also said "Buzz was going to be a Daddy." Shawn smiled at that thought "yep our little nabby is growing up so fast" The both laughed when Henry said, "Can you imagine how tiny a baby is going to look in his arms?"

The rest of Shawn's waking time that evening, was spent talking about nothing in particular with his dad and best friend. Shawn made no mention of the fact that he couldn't move his legs and tonight they were not going to push the subject. They both knew that Shawn was processing things in his own way and in his own time and that was okay with them.

Chapter 6:

Frannie stood in the doorway looking at her husband curled up on the couch. Her heart was breaking for Shawn in the hospital but it was also breaking for that sweet teddy bear of hers on the couch. "Please come to bed honey," she sweetly asked. "Go on without me Frannie I can't sleep" answered a sad and depressed Buzz. Buzz may be six foot six and a police officer but he couldn't even hurt on a fly. Buzz was the picture of a gentle giant. Frannie came to the couch picking up Buzz's head placing it on her lap and started to rub his soft hair.

She could feel Buzz beginning to cry and she started to rub his back with her free hand. She began softly " I know that you feel horrible about what happened to Shawn. You have to remember that Shawn jumped in front of that bullet for you too be able to what?" Buzz managed to utter a wimpy "live" "That is right sweetie, he wanted you to live. You can't live like Shawn wanted you to if you don't eat and sleep". With a slightly harsher but still sweet voice she asked her husband "Do you want Shawn's actions to be in vain?" "No of course I don't" answered Buzz and with that the two went to bed vowing to stop by and check on Shawn the next day.

Chapter 7:

Gus and Henry left the hospital the next morning thinking that Shawn would be sedated most of the morning. He wasn't asleep when they left he was just pretending. He had had a long sleepless night to think about living the rest of his life in a wheel chair. He decided as the sun came up over the horizon that he couldn't put his Dad through the stress of having to take care of him and Gus well he wouldn't want a friend who was stuck in a chair. Most importantly Juliet deserved better. She deserved a man who could take care of her and protect her not one that she would have to help pee.

In the wee hours of that morning as Henry and Gus sat sleeping in their chairs Shawn devised a plan. A plan to just end his suffering and everyone else's suffering too. After his companions left for a few hours and the nurse came and gave him his medicine he knew that he had a few hours where he would be alone. When the nurse came in to check his vitals Shawn begged the nurse to not let anyone other then his Dad in to visit him. He told her that he just needed to be alone.

The nurse agreed and left Shawn with the call button right on his bed next to him in case he needed her. When the nurse left Shawn pretended to sleep but he was devising a plan. A plan to end all of their suffering, he was sure that the world would be better off with no Shawn then a broken Shawn.

Alone at last Shawn began to put his plan in motion. Taking his trusty swiss army knife he carefully cut the stitches on his side from his surgery. He wanted to die but he didn't want it to hurt. He thought if he cut the stitches and opened the wound he would slowly bleed to death before anyone found him.

With the bandage off he began to snip away at the stitches that closed his flesh. Small amounts of blood began to flow after the first stitch was cut but after the 23rd and final stitch was removed the wound gushed open and he began to bleed freely. Laying back he placed the bloody Swiss army knife on the hospital bed table next to a scrawled note that said "I love you all but I cant make you take care of me. You are better off without me. Good bye and I love you all"

It did not take long for the injured man to slip into unconsciousness. His father came back to the room an hour after the last stitch was clipped. He was not going to come till after lunch but he felt that his son needed him. He walked into his son's room and dropped his coffee at what he saw. A bloody knife on the table his son pale and still and the steady drip of blood onto the floor. He yelled for the doctor and nurses to come and help. The nurse came in took one look at Shawn and said "what the hell happened" she raced to Shawn's bed side and began to put pressure on the gaping wound. The doctor came in and they whisked Shawn into the operating room to restore the gaping wound.

Henry sat in Shawn's empty room trying to grasp what had just happened. He remembered seeing the bloody knife and thought the shooter must of come to finish the job, when he noticed the scrawled sheet of paper with the words confirming his worst fear. Shawn did that to himself. He read his note crying "better off without you, cant make us take care of him" rubbing his head he continued to cry and say "there is no way we would be better off without you son no matter what shape you are in."

Henry wiped his tears and got up to get a towel out of the bathroom to wipe up the blood that landed on the floor. He bent down and started to clean the crimson puddle when the tears began again. This was his precious boys blood and he spilled it because he thought I would be better off without him. Oh God Kid how am I going to convince you that I need you here with me wheelchair or not.

The surgery only took about an hour and Shawn was back in his room but this time his hands were bound by his side. He was also receiving a blood transfusion to help replace some of the blood that was lost. Henry saw the straps over his son's wrists and growled at the doctor to take them off. The doctor told Henry that Shawn had almost succeeded in taking his life. One more attempt and we wont be able to bring him back. Henry shook his head and protested, "I am not going to leave his side again". With that promise the doctor unbuckled the straps and Henry took his now familiar perch next to Shawn's bed and waited for his son to come back to him and wake up.

About an hour had passed when the bright green eyes began to stare at Henry. Shawn still hazy from surgery asked Henry why he was back so soon? Trying not to yell at his weak son he told him I came back a few hours ago and boy was I surprised to walk in and find that my only son decided that I would be better off without him. Sighing realizing that his plan to take his own life was foiled he began to explain. "Dad you are old you need to go out and fish not take care of an invalid son. Gus needs a friend who can be there for him and Juliet, well she needs a whole man not this partial man that I am now."

Henry sat quietly staring at Shawn, which made him more nervous, then bleeding to death did. Henry finally began to speak slowly and controlled he grabbed Shawn's face and told him. "Son you are the most important thing in my life. I don't care if you are 13 or 33 as long as there is breath in my body nothing will keep me from helping you" he continued still holding onto his face "If you would have succeeded in killing yourself I would have died right there with you" releasing his face Shawn noticed his Dad's eyes filling with tears. He wasn't used to seeing his dad like this. He must have really meant what he just told me.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes as his dad regained his composure. He continued to speak, "Gus will be your friend through thick and thin and everything in between and he has proven that to you time and time again. You being in a chair will never change that. Juliet, don't you think she should decide for herself if she still wants you. She accepted your engagement ring so she wants to take the vows that say for better or worse sicker and health. I know Juliet enough to know she would mean every word of those vows."

Shawn was now in tears his dad rubbed his arm and said "don't EVER forget what I said you hear me? We are going to get through this and you will make it" Shawn wiping his tears told his father "Yes Sir, thank you for always being my big ole papa monkey" with that the two hugged and when Henry sat back down he told his son "oh and that little stunt earlier now means that I am going to be on you like white on rice till we go home" Shawn sighed "Oh brother I am really sorry now"