How Spock Got His 12-String

Ensign Johansen found the guitar at a flea market on Star-Base 7. She had always wanted to play the guitar. It was an antique Taylor 12-string, complete with strap, case, a set of extra strings, and an assortment of picks and slides. The Ferengi trader did not realize its value, and was glad to be rid of the thing for forty-eight credits. It took up a lot of room in his booth.

There were a few problems with her purchase, though. The instrument didn't come with any tutorial, but she finally found some lessons in the ship's data base. After a few weeks, Johansen's playing really didn't improve. Her hands were to small and fingers to short to wrap around the stupid thing's neck. With disgust over nearly fifty hard-earned credits down the drain, the ensign put the 12-string guitar aside.

The week after she gave up playing, Johansen lost thirty credits to Sulu in a poker game. Two pairs vs. a royal flush. Not having the money, she offered him the guitar instead. Sulu readily accepted. They weren't supposed to be playing for credits on a starship anyway, and besides, he could always trade it for something else.

Something else happened along the very next day. Lt. Powers had a Romulan sword mounted on his quarters' wall. It made his girlfriend very nervous, so much so that she refused to be "affectionate" with him until he got rid of it. Knowing Sulu's fondness for bladed weapons, he sought out a trade. Powers didn't really want the guitar, but he also didn't care for lonely nights. A deal was struck.

Powers kept the thing for a week, then he broke up with his girlfriend. Wanting to drown his sorrows, he went looking for Scotty. The 12-string changed hands again, this time for two bottles of Scotty's engine room hooch. The Chief Engineer was pleased. You never knew when a good trade might come along.

"Cupcake" had picked up five big salamis on Star-Base 7. He was a large fellow with an even larger appetite. After he had eaten three of them, though he decided he was over salami. Scotty was always looking for something to put in a sandwich. Maybe Scotty had something to swap for some nice spicy meat.

Another deal was struck. "Cupcake" held onto the guitar for five days. He tried hard to learn to play, and made a bit of progress. Problem was, he also attempted to sing while playing. His roommate, Smythe, finally had to tell "Cupcake" that he sounded like a "wounded water buffalo in heat". The 12-string was set aside once again.

Poor Pavel had been elected to head the Morale, Welfare, and Recreation Committee. MWR was low on money and needed to raise funds for the ship's Christmas party, so they decided to hold a raffle. Pavel went door to door on the ship, seeking donations of items and services. "Cupcake" gave him the guitar.

Pavel thought it quite valuable, and made it Second Prize. First Prize was forty-eight hours of shore leave. They sold the tickets for two credits each, and put all the items on display in the Rec Room. Spock had examined the 12-string there, but declined to purchase a ticket. He did not see the logic in gambling, though he did appreciate the calculation of odds in poker.

Kirk drew the names of the winners. Scotty won the shore leave package. McCoy won the guitar. He was disgusted because he was hoping for the boxed set of Country Western music discs. Uhura was annoyed because she had brought 15 tickets trying to win the guitar for Spock.

"Okay, Len. Let's work out a trade. What will you take for that guitar?"

McCoy thought for a moment. "Got any of that hooch you brought back from Spock's cousin's place?

If you do, I'll trade you for two jugs."

Spock and Nyota had recently been to Minnesota to visit his mother's relatives. The Grayson boys had a nice still on a hillside where they made some excellent Everclear. Several jugs had somehow come on board in their luggage.

Nyota thought about it for just a moment. "Done deal."

That's how Spock got his 12-string.