Data: *scanning the ground with that damn blinking gadget-thing which had temporarily mesmerized the only female member of the group* The signal leads in that catty, whore house looking building. *points*
Jaraxle: *reads sign, puzzled* Suzies?
Corrine: *drools* Suuuuuzzzzziiiieeeess……gaaaaahh….
Entreri: *been here before* It's an adult store. Given the idiot's chastity issue, this might be a problem.
V: Why would he go in there?
Corrine: *matter-of-factly* Well, there's a large variety of toys in many shapes, sizes, colors, and…*stops when she sees their freaked out looks*…and all the pretty lights for Christmas is up.
Jaraxle: *carefully* I am almost sure that is why he is in there, Corrine.
Corrine: Well, considering the ratio of single, hideous people in this hell-hole, pretty boy's doomed. Let's go home and cover a room in fly paper for when he gets back. *turns to leave*
V: What? Aren't you going to go rescue him?
Corrine: *stubbornly* No. *stamps her foot*
Entreri: *getting pissed off for being dragged all the way out there for nothing* Why the hell not?
Jaraxle: *amazed* Wow, Arty is actually voting to save Drizzt. I think hell froze over and financed a ski lodge.
Entreri: *glares* So why again are we not going in there?
Corrine: *folds arms and pouts* He won't sleep with me.
Jaraxle: So…you're condemning him to death by multi-colored dildos?
Corrine: *smiles evilly* When you put it that way…
V: How would you feel if you were sentenced to agonized, slow death by hardened plastic?
Corrine: *grins maniacally*
Entreri: *snorts* Never mind we asked.
V: We shall?
Jaraxle: *trying to be clever* Saving Drizzt might blind him with gratitude enough to do the ugly at least once.
Corrine: 'Tis true. He does fall for that moralistic shit.
Jaraxle: *puppy eyed* Share though, please.
Corrine: *thinks for a split second* Alright then but if it doesn't work, your ass is mine to abuse, Arty.
Entreri: *panicky* What?! Why am I being punished?
Corrine: *trying to sound logical* Cause I've had V, Jaraxle and you already but you, my talented assassin, you're rough and I like it.
Entreri: *desperately trying to find a way out* Turn your eyes on Data then. He's fully functional.
Data: *perturbed* I feel I must interrupt this. I-
Corrine: Shut up, Data. *gets all lovey-eyed* But he's so innocent and its cute. 'Sides, I'm bidding my time on corrupting him.
Data: Can I-
Entreri: No. Fine then. Let's save the ranger's dumb ass and slip him a Viagra. *grumpily stalks off towards the sex store*
Jaraxle: *enters and squeals in happiness* Dear Gods! Pornos with pregos! *runs off cackling*
V: *disturbed* No comment.
Entreri: *sulks*
Data: *examines a wide based cone for…ahem…well, guess* Most of these look painful.
Corrine: Most are.
Entreri: *snippily* Speaking from experience?
Corrine: *chucks a random chocolate ass-shaped candy at his head, nailing him in the nose* All right, slaves. Spread out.
*all wander off, trying hard not to touch or be touched by anyone or anything. Entreri tries dislodging candy currently stuck up his nose*
***five minutes later***
Entreri: *finally free of ass-candy* Found him.
V: *examines model mold for men's privates* I wonder how painful it would be to pour hot plastic onto a hard-
Entreri: *grossed out* I said I found him!
V: *coolly* Right.
Data: *wanders over, holding a butterfly shaped vibrator* So did I. It was not difficult.
Entreri: Why are you holding that?
Data: *innocently* It hums.
V: Right-eo then. So…Drizzt?
Entreri: Oh, he's screaming like a little girl in the Arcade.
*high pitched wailing like a cat in an oven screeches from a long hallway lined with cubicles*
Data: What is the purpose of the Arcade? *jumps out of skin when Corrine appears out of nowhere with big Gollum eyes*
Corrine: To test the product. *demented grin*
Jaraxle: *marches by with a stack of DVDs* And some products they are! *cackles and disappears into nearest cubicle*
V: *vaguely frightened* Well…that's just ducky.
Corrine: *recites for no reason* I once had a cute rubby ducky. He made me feel so special and lucky. He caused me much pain when he went down the drain. Now he's all torn up and yucky.
Entreri: Whatever.
Corrine: You're a terrible kill-joy, you know that?
Entreri: *grins* Myep.
*silence*
Corrine: Yeeeaaahhh….go to hell. *walks off down the Arcade to find Drizzt whom was whimpering pathetically near the end*
*all start poking heads over and under cubicles, startling occupants*
Corrine: Ugly. *pokes head over another* Ugly. *over another* Ooh, hey, there's a cute one.
Entreri: *does the same* Lose weight, fat ass!
Fat man: Go to hell, pervert!
Entreri: *nastily* Only if you invest in lipo, butterball.
V: *obviously disappointed and disgusted* You feel better now that you've harassed a harmless, sexually frustrated person?
Entreri: *self-satisfied* Immensely. So much so in fact, I think I'll do it again. *looks over a door* Hey!
Random person: *startled and violated* What?!
Entreri: What's the point in watching that if you can't even find your little friend under all that flub?
Random person: *pissed off* I have a thyroid problem!
Entreri: Yeah, yeah, Rosi O'Donnell. Lose some jellyrolls. *walks off after Corrine who managed to locate Drizzt*
Data: *is holding vibrator to neck on high, making his voice all warbly* That was inappropriate and demeaning.
V: Yes, why do you feel such satisfaction in doing that? Have you no life?
Entreri: *idly takes out dagger and stabs doors as he passes, scaring the bejesus out of people* Cause I'd never sink to such a state. I hate fat people.
Corrine: *annoyed by him and Drizzt* Shut up, 'babe', before I pour mayonnaise down your throat and make you fat. *is kneeling in front of Drizzt's hiding spot* Come here, Drizzt, come here! *pats lap*
Data: I am sorry to inform you, Corrine, but he is not a feline. It won't work. *still has vibrator against neck*
V: Data. *pulls the vibrator, which is running out of batteries, away from him* You just need to stop that.
Data: *confused* Why?
Corrine: *still peering at Drizzt who is shaking in trauma* Cause if Entreri doesn't dismember you, I will. Come here, Drizzy-Drizzy! Come on!
Drizzt: *hisses* Neeeeeevvvvveeeerrr!!! *shivers*
Corrine: *pouts* But Drizzy…I lurve you!
Drizzt: *hisses in fright* Get awaaaay!!
Corrine: *getting mad* What is your malfunction?! I walked my happy ass all the way here for you and then you act like a dog with a firecracker up its ass?!?
Entreri: *upset about the 'mayonnaise' and 'babe' comments* I would be much more difficult. I'd kick you in the ass up to the shin.
Corrine: Yeah? And no one cares.
Data: I care.
Entreri: *ignores him and gets combative* Shut up, Corrine. No one cares about you and your problems.
Data: *insistently* I care.
V: *leans back on a cubicle door and joins in, laughing at Entreri* I wouldn't care if you were run over by a drunken elephant with genital herpes.
Corrine: Waaaaah?
Data: ?? I care??
Entreri: *fuming* I wouldn't care if you managed to get impaled on a spork covered in gravy, giving you a liver infection and causing 26 surgeries.
Corrine: Ooh, sick burn. Sick burn. *pulls out a cigarette and lights it*
Data: Umm…I care.
V: *still laughing just to irk Entreri* I wouldn't care if you fell down a hill and landed balls first on a cactus and got tetanus, gangrene and unexpected pregnancy.
Corrine: Pregnancy?
V: *nastily* Yes, pregnancy. For our dear Arty is a lady, a precious, pretty lady…and nooooo oooone cares.
Data: *eagerly* I care!
All: SHUT UP, DATA!
*silence*
Drizzt: *hisses* Eeeeeeviiiiillll!!!! *shivers*