Title - Futile Efforts
Characters - Clovis & Annabeth C.
Categories - Humor/Family
Summary - Play-by-play of a regular day for our favorite son of Hypnos with Annabeth and Percy desperately trying to wake him up. Of course, it's a futile effort.

Today I don't feel like doing anything.

"Clovis! Hey, Clovis!"

Clovis half-heard Annabeth yelling at him while he floated half-way between the dreamy world and the real one. He couldn't wake up now. He was having the best dream about owning this little cabin in the middle of the woods, away from a certain daughter of Athena who constantly disturbed him from his peaceful sleep.

"I'm sleeping!" he moaned, hiding under the covers. "Just a few more minutes..." He drifted off into dreamworld again.

I just wanna lay in my bed.

"Clovis!" Annabeth's sharp voice cut through the air like a whip. "Get up and stay up! Stop laying on your bed like an inanimate object!"

"Armadillo," Clovis dreamily answered. "Yeah." Armadillos were awesome little creatures. They were so hard!

"Enough with your armadillos!" Annabeth's exasperated voice came wafting through his dream. "Just get up and go to dinner!"

Don't feel like picking up my phone,

"I don't want to pick up my phone!" Clovis mumbled through a mouthful of bed-sheet. "I don't even have a cellphone!" He sleepily opened his eyes to see a dumbstruck Annabeth staring at him like he was mad.

"What?" Clovis yawned. "I wanna...go back to...sleep..."

"You're always sleeping!" Annabeth sighed. "Do you ever do anything else?"

"Yes, mother..."

So leave a message at the tone.

"I'm not your mother," Annabeth said, turning red. Clovis yelped. "Of course you're not! But we both have blond hair, you know!"

Annabeth groaned. "Clovis...you don't know who your godly parent is, right?"

"No!" Clovis readily muttered, drifting into sleep again. "Dunno what a godly parent is..."

The Hermes cabin phone rang loudly. Annabeth cursed and hit it with the butt of her knife. It cracked in half and a garbled voice came over the com: "Travis? Call me back, m'kay? I need to talk with you. This is Drew, signing off."

Clovis dreamily smiled as Annabeth glared at the broken phone.

'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything.

"Clovis," Annabeth said, "a godly parent is...er, whoever your godly parent is. Your immortal parent. After a week here, wouldn't you know what a 'god' is?"

"Duck," Clovis half-consciously answered. "Ducks are...zzzz..."

He fell into the murky depths of sleep and started snoring very loudly. Annabeth put slapped him around the face.

I'm gonna kick my feet up,

Clovis jolted awake and screamed, "Space aliens attack! Do that Space Invaders thingy-ma-bobber! Come on!" He began swatting everything in his line of sight, including Annabeth. She didn't appreciate it one bit.

"Clovis, do I need to put you in an insane asylum?"

"Noooo!" Clovis shrieked, batting away at his bedpost. "Space...duck...go...zzzz..."

Then stare at the fan.

Annabeth glared at the fan that was slowly spinning on its pedestal, sending cool wind through the cabin, refreshing the hot muggy air of late summer. "Clovis, you're going to become an anorexic."

Clovis jolted awake and yawned. "Ah...what's an anorexic?" He dropped off snoring again, leaving a fuming Annabeth behind him. "CLOVIS!"

Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants.

Clovis rolled around and fell out of bed, his sheets tangling around him. "Nice ducky...come here, ducky!"

Annabeth slapped him. "Clovis, I'll bet anything that your dad is Hypnos..." She rolled her eyes as Clovis let out a loud grunt. "Oh, come on!" She tugged on Clovis's arm.

Nobody's gonna tell me I can't!

"Uh, ha-ha," Clovis meekly said, his eyes fluttering open. "What are you doing?"

"Dinner," Annabeth said threateningly, pointing towards the door. "Now."

"But Anna-beth..." Clovis whined, tugging feebly on Annabeth's iron grip. "It's my birthday! Today, I don't feel like doing anything."

Annabeth released him. "First off, it is not your birthday, and second, you never feel like doing anything."

I'll be lounging on the couch,

"I'll be lounging in my chair, then," Clovis mumbled, his eyes struggling to stay open. He stumbled back and crashed onto his bed, snoring away again. Annabeth put her hands on her hips. "Clovis! Stop it!"

Clovis continued snoring, dreaming about clouds.

Just chillin' in my snuggie.
Click to MTV, so they can teach me how to dougie.

Annabeth strode over to the TV and opened it, blasting up the volume to max as she popped in some earplugs. The whole cabin was shaking from the loud pop music that was emitting from it, and still, Clovis went right on sleeping.

The daughter of Athena started flicking through channels so fast that it all became one big soupy mess of words and songs. Clovis mumbled something about "I've Gotta Feeling".

'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man,
Oh, oh!

Annabeth gave up and stomped outside the Hermes cabin, leaving the TV on in hopes that Clovis would wake up. Naturally, it didn't work when Percy came in. He stumbled back from the very loud MTV channel that Annabeth had left it on. He scampered out of the cabin for a couple of minutes and came back with wads of beeswax stuffed in his ears. "Hey, Clovis...you hungry?"

Yes I said it,

"No," Clovis mumbled, cracking open an eye. "'Sup, Percy?"

"Listen, man," Percy said conversationally, "can you hear over the TV?"

"What TV?" Clovis looked around and seemed to notice the blaring television for the first time. "Oh...that? Annabeth tried to..."—Clovis gave a huge yawn—"...wake me up with that, I think. Why else would it be on?"

I said it,
I said it 'cause I can.

"Um...you turned it on?"

Clovis shuddered and collapsed back onto the bed again. "Tired," he mumbled. "And sleepy.

Today I don't feel like doing anything.

"Clovis," Percy said, clicking the television shut, "you sleep an awful lot."

Clovis gave a huge, shuddering yawn. "Uh huh...Annabeth thinks that my dad is Hypnos, whoever that is..." His head lolled.

"God of sleep," Percy offered. "Seems apt, you're always sleeping."

I just wanna lay in my bed.

"Y-yeah." Clovis stretched. "Probably. Hey, do you have another pillow?" Without waiting for an answer, he dragged one off of Travis's bed and began dozing in it.

"You just want to lay in your bed, huh?" Percy grinned. "I can understand that. Arguing with Annabeth leaves you drained of energy."

Don't feel like picking up my phone,
So leave a message at the tone.

"Uh huh," Clovis muttered before falling into his supposed father's arms again. He began saying something about plants and zombies.

"Dude," Percy told Clovis half an hour later when the "son of Hypnos" suddenly woke up. "You've been playing waytoo much Plants vs. Zombies."

'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything.

"Eh? I'm not doing anything today," Clovis sleepily grunted. "Dunno what Plants vs. Zombies is, either."

"You were talking about that Michael Jackson zombie!" Percy gleefully said. "He's awesome, isn't he, with that wild hair?"

"Who's Michael Jackson?"

Nothing at all.

Percy snorted. "Is that a lie?"

"No," Clovis assured him. "There was a football zombie thing, too."

"See what I mean?" Percy grinned a crazier grin then it was before so that would have made Annabeth slap him around the face.

Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X,
[This passage was removed because RomanGreekDemi finds it rather disturbing.]
Yeah!

"Yeah..." Clovis yawned, tumbling back onto the floor. Sure. As long as he got to sleep, anything that Percy said was fine with him.

I might mess around, get my college degree.

"So," Percy said, trying to get Clovis out of his stupor. "Which college you planning on going to?"

"Birthday cake." Clovis dreamily smiled. "Pretty..."

Percy stared at him in confusion. "Uh, Clovis...you all right?"

I bet my old man will be so proud of me,
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait.

"Anyways," Percy continued, "NYU's a good place...don't you think? I bet that Poseidon would want me to become a marine biologist."

Oh, oh.

"Sleepy career," Clovis answered. "Can I go to sleep?"

Yes I said it,
I said it,
I said it 'cause I can.

Clovis started snoring without waiting for Percy's answer because he could do anything he wanted when he was sleeping.

Today I don't feel like doing anything.
I just wanna lay in my bed.

"Okay, then..." Percy edged quietly out of the cabin while turning on the television to ESPN. Football announcements began blaring around the room. Clovis went right on sleeping.

Don't feel like picking up my phone,
So leave a message at the tone.

About an hour later, both Percy, Annabeth, and the whole Hermes cabin crept into the room, seeing Clovis still sleeping peacefully. He was drooling a bit, too.

"Leave it!" he screamed, batting at his covers. "Don't touch Mr. Snuffles!"

Annabeth rolled her eyes.

'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything.

"Ha!" Connor said excitedly. "Just think of all what we could do to him! Let's try that Mohawk out, Travis! Whaddya say?"

"Travis!" Annabeth reprimanded, smacking the son of Hermes. "When I said to prank Clovis, I didn't say to cause any bodily harm to him!"

No, I ain't gonna comb my hair,

"His hair's a rat's nest," Percy commented dolefully. "He needs to comb it."

"Nobody cares," Melissa said. "C'mon, Travis, use the Mohawk!"

"No!" Annabeth hissed. "Shut up!"

'Cause I ain't going anywhere,
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh.

"Aw, he ain't gonna have any broken bones or anything!" Travis said indignantly.

"Hmm..." Annabeth seemed like she was reconsidering the thought. "What does it do?"

"Let's just say that whoever is at the other end of the prank will receive a very numbing experience!" Travis laughed delightedly.

I'll just strut in my birthday suit,
And let everything hang loose.

"Apparently, it's his birthday today," Annabeth said, "but if this prank won't break anything...where's that Mohawk, Travis?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah.

"All set!" Travis cheerfully said after running to his bed and bringing out a very spiky Mohawk. "It needs a few seconds to warm up," he said as he twiddled with a dial.

Oh,
Today I don't feel like doing anything.

A while later, Percy shifted uncomfortably. "Is this a few minutes?"

"Yeah!" Connor eagerly said. "Ooooh, brother, get a move on it!"

"It's ready!" Travis triumphantly smirked as he raised his Mohawk. It had an aura of sogginess around it. "Guys, you might want to back away. We have insurance, right?"

I just wanna lay in my bed.

Annabeth edged away. "Travis, it won't cause any bodily harm, will it?"

Travis didn't answer her question as he aimed the spiky wig at Clovis.

Don't feel like picking up my phone,

"Hermes cabin rocks!" Connor cheered as Travis yelled the same thing. Instantly, a dozen strands of fire spewed out of the tips of the spikes.

Percy's mouth dropped open as a roaring firestorm enveloped Clovis. "Holy Styx!"

So leave a message at the tone.
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything.

Annabeth screamed as Travis dropped back, grinning crazily as the bed burst into flames. "Travis Stoll, I am going to send you to Tartarus!"

"Don't worry!" Connor calmly said. "It shouldn't send anything else on fire."

"You might as well have dipped him in lava!" Annabeth berated loudly, whacking him with a spare rolled up fashion magazine that featured Lady Gaga on the front cover.

Nothing at all.

"Aw, Annabeth! It's only, like, going to cause a few minor burns!" Connor said eagerly. "Besides, it'll wake Clovis up!"

Nothing at all.
Nothing at all.

All the demigods edged cautiously to Clovis's bed as the firestorm died. Travis said in a hushed voice, "What's he doing?"

Clovis rolled around in his bed, unscathed and still snoring.

All right, you guys think that Bad Romance by Lady Gaga is a good idea for a Thalia/Luke thing again? Not that I'm doing it in the next few chapters, but I want your opinion. I've got Percy and Annabeth up next! Toodles!