Following you
Part two
It's been a month now since his death. I look in the mirror as i get ready. I stare at my appearance and see the saddness in my eyes. On my way to school, people look at me differently and I don't blame them. It's only been a month since he died and I have completely changed. Im not as happy and perky as people remember or knew me by. My auburn locks are not auburn anymore it's been turned raven black and so have my cloths. Im usually the baby tees and jeans girl always so colourful and bright and bubbly like my personality. Right now all I wear is black you could say that I had gone through a phase, a gothic phase that is, but it has nothing to do with a phase that it has to do with the fact that I had lost everything that day… my family my best friend my brother.
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Flash back to his funeral…..
His funeral was so beautiful. Kind of ironic don't you think. The church had been decorated. It had many pictures of Lucas and his friends all mounted by his coffin. Loads of his friends sat quietly in there seats contemplating about how they should act. Should they cry, should they be calm, should they be sad, all not knowing what to do at a funeral. For some this could be there first time being at one for others it could be there second or third. But all they know is that their close friend is lying unconsciously in a coffin. Glancing around some of them spot me and give me a small nod, they had been there for me throughout my life but not as close to what Lucas and I had. I turn my head and see Karen and Keith slowly walk up the aisle. Karen clutching Keith with her dear life. People aimlessly give there condolences like they knew him personally 'oh he was a good boy.' 'Why did the dear lord take him he was always so happy.' They slowly took there seats at the front of the church. I see my parents walk slowly up the aisle as well they seem so sad, they didn't look fake. For some time in my life I didn't see my parent's real reactions or expressions but today they seemed broken. I guess they always thought of Lucas as a son as well, he would usually be at mines playing with me at a young age my mother and father treated him like a son and im happy for that. They greet Karen and Keith and sit next to them. Karen slowly looks up and spots me in the corner. For some reason she could always sense where I was just like Lucas. She slowly gets up and walks ups towards me. Keith and my parents watch her. She gently gives me a tight embrace whispering things to me about Lucas. I feel hot tears prickle my eyes and they slowly cascade down my cheeks. She slowly wipes them away and tells me that he always loved me and never will stop. Lastly she gives me a quick peck on the cheek and walks back up to her seat. Some minutes passed on by till I felt someone's hand on my shoulder I slowly turn to find Nathan. He has helped me through Lucas' death even though I pushed him away he never backed down. He gives me a reassuring smile before whispering 'Show the world what he was like, let his memory live wherever you are okay, I'll be watching you, he would have been so proud of you.' I take his hand from my shoulder and gently squeeze it, silently thanking him for being there and giving me courage. He gently nods his head in understanding and walks to where his parents are sitting. I slowly make my way to my parents. My mother leaping from her seat and tenderly hugs me and sits me down next to her, she takes my hands and cups them with hers and soothingly rubs her thumb over them. I turn to my father and he places his arms over my shoulder. For once in my Life I am grateful for my parents to be here to help me through this time but I knew they would be leaving soon back to there work.
End of flashback
Back at school...
First Period used to be my favourite lesson. I would always sit next to Lucas and we would always end up goofing about. He always enjoyed English he had a passion for reading. As I sit here watching the teacher drowning on with the lesson. Everything seemed to go really fast, it felt like I was frozen just watching the day go by. All the student's quickly writing down the notes. An air or hand suddenly appears then disappears. Then something got me out of my daze. I look up at the teacher as he hands me my work, he seemed disappointed but he knew I was going through a tough time so he didn't say anything about it. He continues to hand them out and finally writes down our assignments on the board. You have till tomorrow to hand me a piece of writing which describes who you are, It doesn't matter how long it is but I want a maximum of 500 words. The bell rings and the whole class quickly leave the room. I see Nathan waiting by the door. He asks me if we were meeting at the tutoring centre after school I nod silently saying yes. He engulfs me in a hug and I let out a giggle. He seems so much closer to me now, He has helped me through, he didn't treat me like a baby he knew that I needed time, he never judged my new dress sense or personality he just stuck by me and I am so grateful. He really seems like my saviour. I told Lucas a week before he died that I was crushing on Nathan ever since they started hanging out. Lucas seemed happy for me that I found someone. I made my way to the tutoring centre and started on the assignment, for the rest of the day I had no other lessons. I take a seat and look around trying to remember all the good times and bad in the room. Imprinting it in my mind.
Flashback to his funeral…
The mass was underway and soon it was my turn to say something. I make my way to the front. I see a sea of black bodies all staring expectantly at me. I say a few words which describe Lucas perfectly the way he was and even some secrets so they really truly new what he was like. Like how he is scared of spiders. I retell the story to them, How he came over to my house after school to see my new pet, but he didn't know it was a spider I just said it was hairy. I think he thought it was a dog. The congregation smiled softly. I told Lucas to close his eyes and hold out his hand which he did. I placed webby on his palm he giggled a bit as it tickled him but soon he froze and let out a shriek when he opened hi eyes, he threw webby up in the air and it landed on my bed. Lucas ran to my desk chair and stood on it screaming his lungs out. The whole church erupted in laughter even Karen and Keith. I carry on with my speech with a smile I tell them that I had a song to explain how I feel about Lucas and how everyone should remember him and his life. I walk slowly to the piano on the corner I take a seat. No one has heard me sing before except Lucas and my parents when they caught me singing in the shower or in my room. Come to think of it I think they did it on purpose and some times they bought a camcorder with them, I guess I never really took notice of it. I slowly run my hands over the ivory keys and begin to play.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
(Sarah McLachlan: I Will Remember You)
When finish the song I find my cheeks damp and the tears seem to never end. I turn to the crowd they are weeping I make my way to my seat but before I do I go up to Karen and Keith and tell them that I doubt that Tree Hill will never forget him. Karen engulfs me a in a hug and whispers thank you. The mass carries on but deep down I know that while the rest of the people have found solace and peace after the song I hadn't. I still felt saddened and alone.
End of flash back
Slowly I put a lid on my pen. I look over my work. The words on the page they seem to form a picture in my mind as I read over it. So dark and so empty, nothing to live for. I look at my watch Nathan should be here soon. I don't want to see him. I get up quickly and pack my bag. I hurriedly leave the room and get out the school quickly, never looking back. Walking down the streets I remember the times when Lucas and I would pull pranks on the people, ringing the door bell and hiding behind the bushes, stealing their paper and placing in the weirdest places like on top of a tree. We would get into so much trouble for disturbing the peace but it was the good times.
Nathans POV
I reach the tutoring centre a couple of minutes late. I hope Haley is still there. She has been through so much and I just want to help her. Right before Lucas had joined the basket ball team we would usually play at river court and Haley would be there to cheer Lucas on. After a couple of weeks I had grown a crush on her, who wouldn't she was hot. People would ask how I could want her instead of some other person but I realised that it weren't looks I was looking for it was their personality and Haley's was the one I feel for. I enter the tutoring centre 'Haley you in here…Haley im sorry im late…' But there was no answer. I reach for a piece of paper on the table. Its Haley's assignment for English I slowly read it. As I reach the end. I realise that I could loose her forever like I had lost Lucas. I race out of the school still clutching the piece of paper. I stuff it in my jacket and get into my car. And drive of as fast as I can…I silently wonder am I to Late...
I guess that is the end of part two…Thank you for those who are reading….hopefully i will update soon again.if any of you are confused about anything just ask...dont forget to reviewand tell me what you think