So I'm very proud to announce that my previous fill was the first ever Edgeworth/Carrot and actually sparked off a meme within the meme. This chapter is my only other contribution to the saga as a filler, however. For reference, it is set long after the previous chapter, and Edgeworth has grown perhaps too comfortable with his sexual preferences.

Prompt: Edgeworth has an orgy with an entire produce section.

Kink Meme Memes: Besides the obvious Edgeworth/Carrot, the mention of a banana is a meme as on the KM Edgeworth cheated on his wife (Carrot) with a banana. Much drama. Also, the Kristoph mention is a reference to a hilarious fill from a while back.

When Miles Edgeworth woke up naked in the middle of the vegetable section of the grocery store, an entire display case's worth of sexy vegetables scattered round him - and even a few fruits, he noticed with a blush as his eyes landed on a thick banana - he wasn't especially worried.

Exhausted, sore, maybe a little wary of indulging in tequila again any time soon... but not worried. After all, he had his carrot clutched tightly in his hand, so it wasn't like he'd done anything to be ashamed of - his integrity was still intact. There were several containers of open lube and condoms scattered across the floor too, so he'd been perfectly safe. And he felt so sexually satisfied that honestly, it was impossible to regret a thing. To be perfectly honest, the sight of all those zucchinis, cucumbers, bananas, pears, green onions, cabbages, apples, spinach, and of course, carrots... he could feel his breath getting short, his pulse rising, his erection coming to life again -

When the doors burst open a minute later to admit none other than Detective Gumshoe, things were admittedly a little awkward. Apparently, the security cameras had picked up him getting frisky the night before and the police had been called in. Somehow, Gumshoe managed to arrange it so that he was the only one to show up, but he had no choice except to arrest the Chief Prosecutor.

Still, Miles wasn't concerned. He paid for everything he'd touched, and arranged for it to be delivered to his home to await him after his (no doubt short) stint in the Detention Center. He had no intention of skirting the law, but... well, he still had connections.

"I'm not here to talk about your defence," Phoenix Wright said a few hours later from the other side of the glass, looking particularly uncomfortable. "I'm - I can't defend you."

"...What?" Miles said, grip tightening around the carrot in his hand. He noticed Phoenix noticing the contact; his old friend's cheeks turned fire-truck red instantly.

"I - Miles, I saw the tape," Wright said, voice downright scandalized, and for the first moment since he'd woken, Miles felt embarrassed at the thought of what his old friend might have seen. "Part of it anyway, and - broccoli to tickle yourself? An apple as a gag? Wrapping spinach around - and both a banana and an onion, what the hell, and I can't even talk about the CARROT-"

Oh. So he hadn't seen anything all that unusual after all.

"I CAN'T defend you," Phoenix finished, shaking his head sadly. "Actually, there's no need - the Judge has already declared a verdict. I'm just here to deliver the news. We thought... maybe I would be the best choice."

Miles' eyes narrowed. "This is an intervention," he realised. "Who else is in on this? Was Gumshoe-?"

Phoenix coughed and avoided meeting his eyes. "You're going to be going to therapy. Actually, you're going to be joining another lawyer - Kristoph Gavin, you may have heard of him and his... self-love issue."

Miles had. It had been fairly well known in the lawyer community, as had the verdict passed down on him once his obsession had grown too strong and he was found having public sex with a mirror.

His face blanched.

"No," Miles whispered. The hand round his carrot became white-knuckled as he clutched the beloved vegetable closer. "You wouldn't."

Phoenix sighed regretfully. "By order of the Judge... you've been placed under a restraining order from all uncut fruits and vegetables. ...Especially carrots." He nodded significantly, and Miles spun around as the guard in the corner of the room began to step forward.

"NO," he hissed viciously, stuffing his carrot into his shirt to protect it. The guard drew closer. "I can't - they're not the same cut - Wright, don't do this-!"

"It's for the best, Miles," Phoenix murmured sadly, and turned away.