"To this day, I can never shake the connection between this boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed."

I slowly drift awake and, for the first time I realize how weak I really am. Strong arms are wrapped around me, and it all seems too familiar. I can smell the vanilla and yeast, the leftover stench of coal burnt in an oven. For a minute I don't move because well, this was the only place I felt safe around a year ago. Steps move from the kitchen and towards where we are, in which I'm guessing the living room. Peeta shifts, making me move so he knows I'm awake.

"Hi…" When my eyes meet his, deep blue and worried, a part of me wants to smile back.

"Hi." Is all I say, and I can see and feel his body untense beside me. Greasy Sae is beside me, an uneasy smile and glass of water. I gladly accept and take a sip, before moving from Peeta's embrace. I look down, thinking back to when I had seen him this morning and ran off. Why was I running from the only thing I wanted to see and protect?

"Sweetheart…" The staggered voice of Haymitch catches my attention as I catch him sitting by the window seat. "It's nice to have you back." His expression softens, looking almost sober until he takes a swig of scotch in his glass.

It was quiet, my fingers traced my palm as I bit my lower lip. What should I say? What could I say? Thank you for taking care of me in my state for however long it has been? The silence was uncomfortable, before Peeta cleared his throat and stands up.

"Are you hungry?" There is a pain in his eyes, and I know exactly what it is. He sees the skin and bones under my clothes, the same way I had earlier. I nod, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Good," he paused, as if pondering for a second. "Cheese buns coming right up."

I smiled, a weird feeling to my lips. I loved cheese buns, especially Peeta's cheese buns. Greasy Sae offered to help and before I knew it, it was me and haymitch alone in the living room. I stood up, as if looking to unfamiliar place that I had called home for a while now.

"Take your time, sweetheart." His voice is strict, almost fatherly. When I turn to him he's looking towards the kitchen. "Don't make him lose you again. It kills him. And don't run away from him. It's taking a lot out of him to get over what he did to you." The realization hit me. All this time in my slumber, my lose state of mind Peeta was worried, feeling like his was fault.

"How is he…" I swallowed a lump, refraining from the memories of a different Peeta, a mutt created by the capitol to destroy me.

"Getting there." Haymitch examines me, before standing up and walking towards me. "He still has episodes, but he has some control now." Placing a hand on my wrist before I tried to walk away, he looked at me sympathetically. "He needs you to be there for him, katniss. He needs you to help him, you know."

"Why, so he can wring my neck again?!" I spat out, almost afraid of my own high voice. I was beginning to tremble, being pulled into a hug.

"No, so he can help you. Do you remember everything, Katniss, or only your nightmares?"

I remembered the boy with the bread, the dandelion that gave me hope. I remember my first kiss to him for the capitol. I remember the way it felt when I woke up after the Third Quarter Quell and he wasn't there. I remember praying for his safety and watching the capitol use him against me. I remember running to reunite with him after he was rescued and his trying to kill me – a time too many. But I remember him coming back… and then he lost me. The nightmare was more than I could take.

I lost Prim to Gale's bombing, I lost the real Peeta to the capitol. I lost myself to the flight of war. I couldn't conceal the tears that ran down my face, and it hurt Haymitch to see it. It wasn't long before I felt his rough thumb wipe the tears from my hot cheeks, before he smirked. "C'mon, no need to cry. Where's the tough girl that almost took my fingers off on the bus?"

I forced a smile but decided to not show anything other than that. It's not like I hadn't cried before – it was just that now it seemed it was all I did. It wasn't long before the smell of cheese buns waived through the air and my stomach growled, making me wonder how long it had been since I had a real bite of food. Peeta was picking up the kitchen and Sae was doing the dishes, and my eyes wandered to the outside.

"How long has it been?" I guess I didn't need to say anything else, because Haymitch took a swig of his drink.

"It's been about four months." He saw the look of confusion on my face, and gestured me to sit down by the window. Once I did, he continued. "When the war was over, and they rebuilt some of the district we came back. Your mother, unable to cope with the loss of Prim, stayed in district 2. Gale works there, too, as a Peacekeeper of sorts. " Haymitch must have saw the look of disgust when he mentioned Gale's name, because he paused and signed. "I told him to stay away for a bit… because of what happened. He wishes you to be better," His hand is on my shoulder now, giving it a small squeeze.

"Peeta's been talking with Dr. Aurelius to help. Which, sweetheart, let's be honest… you need to talk to him, too." Dr. Aurelius was out doctor in District 13. He helped us all in the rebellion and now is helping Peeta. I didn't want to see him though. I didn't want someone telling me my problems and how to help because let's be honest – there was no helping from the nightmare that I've lived.

"No," that was as good as it got right now. I shrugged off Haymitch's hand and leaned against the window ceil, giving him a cold look. At some point or another, Peeta must have entered the living room because he was giving Haymitch a look.

"It's okay Katniss, only when you're ready." Something about this boy, Peeta, and his way with words or the blue of his eyes, it made me forget the angst I just felt. I only nodded, looking to his strong hand that reached for my own. "Cheese buns are done." I took his hand, following him to the kitchen like a lone lost puppy.

I swear if there were anyone else in the house I would have been called a pig, but Sae just laughed and Peeta did nothing more but smile triumphantly. I devoured those delicious cheese buns until my stomach was in a knot and I couldn't hold any more. The rest of the time I listened to them talk, listened to breeze shift the blinds and before too long the sun was beginning to set.

"Well sweetheart, I better go to the hob and stock up and go home. " I didn't mind that Haymitch was leaving, the stench of the alcohol was beginning to make my stomach turn. I simply nodded, and Peeta shook his hand in the sense that Peeta does. Greasy Sae smiled warmly at me, playing with her own fingers.

"I can stay again tonight Katniss, if you want." Her eyes were tired and the bags under them were black. She had spent time here tending after me as I was out in my own world. I gave her a smile and squeezed her hand, shaking my head.

"I think I'm okay. Go and get some rest." I looked away, almost shyly. "Thank you."

"It was the least I could do." Tears welled in her eyes before she gave me a big hug, before leaving with Haymitch. Now it was just me, this frail and broken mess and Peeta, the only thing I could call home.

"Well, this must have been an exhausting day for you. Why don't you go upstairs and go to bed. I'll finish up here and lock up once I ge—"

"Peeta…"

"…t done. If you need me I live on the other side of Hay—"

"Peeta…" I was smiling, he seemed to be a bit nervous.

"…mitch's… uh.. yes?"

"Stay with me?" I don't know why my heart was racing, or my knees were weak, or why I felt the need to cry. Peeta's face lit up, though he seemed like he was unsure before he looked down to me, his ocean blues meeting my gaze. He pulled me into an embrace, resting his chin onto my head.

"Always." He whispered into my hair, making my knee's buckle and tears stream my face.

We stayed like that for what must have been hours, because before I had known it we were sitting on the couch in front of the fire, and the next thing I knew I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes, and the smell of a baker under my body.

I hadn't had a nightmare that night. Because my nightmare was now.