Chapter Two
Here's the next part, the more reviews I get the faster I write!
Don't own Glee..not enough shirtless boys ;).
Kurt and his parents sat there in stunned silence, which cause Finn to go into another round of sobs. Kurt reached up and took Finn's head in his hands, "how long have you felt this way about him?"
Finn took a breath, trying to calm down, "since we were fourteen".
Carole smiled, "honey are you, are you gay?"
Finn shrugged, "I don't know mom, I mean I liked Quinn and Rachel, I don't like Kurt like that", he looked at Kurt, "no offense".
Kurt shook his head, "none taken".
"Did you mean to go over there and tell him how you felt? Also, why didn't you tell me, I could've helped you or something?"
Finn just looked at him, "I hadn't ever planned on telling him, this is Puck we're talking about, not exactly the "crazy in love" type, not to mention he's not gay. All that night did was prove what I already knew, and made me lose my best friend in the process".
Kurt sighed, "are you going to be okay?"
Finn nodded, "what other choice do I have?"
Kurt stood up, "I'm going out with Blaine in a little bit, you want me to pick you up something? A chocolate cake perhaps?"
Finn smiled, "thanks man".
Burt stood and followed Kurt out the door, Carole staying and comforting Finn. They got to the bottom of the stairs; his dad stopped him, "you going to see Puck?"
Blaine was at the door, and Kurt turned to his dad, "you bet your ass".
He grabbed Blaine talking to him on the way out to the car, Burt just smiled.
Kurt noticed that Puck's mom's car was gone, good he needed to be there alone with him, he had to know what happened last night. Blaine was supportive of his decision, and followed behind him, hoping that it was a misunderstanding, because to be gay and in love with someone who is straight is a different kind of heartbreak.
Kurt knocked on the door, and was met with an exhausted looking Puck, with red rimmed eyes, bingo, he thought.
"What are you doing here?"
"You know why I'm here Puck, let me in, we need to talk".
Puck stepped aside, walking into the living room after shutting the door.
"You look like hell", Blaine told him.
"Thanks"
"What's going on Puck? You haven't talked to Finn in a few weeks, he's doing nothing but lying in bed, and I caught him sobbing in his room this morning".
Kurt saw tears gather in Puck's eyes at the mention of Finn crying, "come on Puck you can tell me, tell us, why did you say those horrible things to him?"
Puck shrugged, "I don't know why, I'm scared, scared of how I feel, how I don't feel. Mostly scared I've lost my best friend over this."
"Puck", Blaine began, "are you confused and scared about what Finn told you?"
Puck shrugged again, then nodded, "we've been friends since we were four, and now all of the sudden things have changed, without changing. He's been my best friend, like my brother my whole life, and the whole thing with Quinn and Beth. I just felt like we finally put that behind us, and now he goes and says things friends aren't supposed to say to each other."
Kurt let out a breath, "Puck look at me, are you confused by what he told you, or because you felt the same way?"
"Dude I'm not gay alright, I love girls, I love everything about them..it's just."
"Puck, I like girls too, at least I appreciate their beauty, but when it comes to love and relationships I can only do that with guys", Blaine told him.
Kurt looked at him, "what do you mean relationships, so are you telling me you just have sex with girls and have relationships with guys?"
Blaine smiled at him, "Kurt now isn't the time, and no I don't have sex with girls, I can hang out with them, see them naked without a second blink. But I can't fall in love with them, I can't kiss them and feel butterflies, they can't make my knees go weak just by the sound of their voice, that's all you".
Kurt smiled, tears in his eyes, "good answer Anderson".
Puck laughed, "way to save your ass!"
They all laughed, and turned back to Puck, "so about that but you added?"
Puck looked down at his hands, "I just don't know, I mean I love him, but he's my best friend, and I hate myself that I hurt him so bad. I just don't know how I feel, I mean I can't say I've never NOT thought of kissing him, but most of the time I figure it's just cause I hadn't gotten any in a while."
Both boys groaned and rolled their eyes, "look, do you feel different about Finn than you did about Quinn or Rachel or any of those girls?"
Puck nodded, "yeah well of course, I'd never do that to Finn".
Kurt looked at him confused, "what sleep with him?"
Without thinking, what came out of his mouth he didn't expect, and neither did Kurt or Blaine.
"No I'd never hurt him like that cause I love him..." Puck put his hands over his mouth and got up and ran out of the room.
Blaine looked at Kurt, "this is going to be interesting".
They followed Puck into the other room, he was crying, Puck was crying, Kurt never thought he'd see the day.
"Oh God", he whispered, "I'm in love with my best friend, for a really long time".
Kurt kneeled in front of him, he smiled, "Puck there's nothing wrong with it, look at me; he loves you just as much as you love him. I know you aren't ready to act on that, but you need to talk to him at least, he is a horrible crying mess, he's not even eating Puck".
Puck looked up at Kurt, "he's that bad?"
He nodded, "Carole had to go buy him some new pants, his old ones were getting too big already, he seriously isn't eating at all".
Puck sighed, "how am I supposed to tell him, I'm not good with words or emotions."
Blaine smiled, "sing to him".
"If you can't do it in person, then record it, we'll take it to him or something".
Puck shook his head, "no I need to do this in person".
Kurt and Blaine nodded, "when are you going to do it?"
"I don't know, I need some time, I have a month till I have to see him right?"
Kurt frowned, "Puck you can't do that to him, or to yourself, you need to tell him. He's suffering, and I hate seeing him like this, he can't go that much longer like this Puck."
"You don't want to lose whatever chance you have left do you? Can you see your life without him wanting to be in it?" Blaine asked.
Puck exhaled, "No, I can't, and I don't want to have a life without him in it, even if it's just to be his friend".
"Come on, I know you know the song I can see it in your eyes", he grabbed Puck's hand, "go grab your guitar and we'll go talk to him".
Puck nodded, "I need to wash my face or something, I don't think I want him to know how upset I've been".
"Why, he won't be able to hide how he's been from you, you shouldn't hide how miserable you've been either".
"Okay, just let me at least change and grab my guitar I'll be right back".
It took them another hour to convince him to get in the car, he was so sure that Finn wouldn't want to see him, or would've changed his mind. Kurt reassured him that wouldn't be the case and they finally got him to their house. Kurt walked in and saw Finn asleep on the couch in his mother's lap; he could tell Finn had been crying again. His heart broke to see his brother that way. Carole looked at him, and Burt came walking in when he heard the front door open.
"So what happened?" Burt asked.
Carole looked at Kurt and Burt suspiciously, "what's he talking about Kurt?"
"I went to see Puck, to ask him why he said such horrible things to him, why he's ignored him and let Finn be reduced to well", he said pointing to Finn asleep, "to this".
Carole smiled, "you are a good brother, so what happened?"
Kurt hollered at Blaine, and with their cue Blaine drug Puck, eyes red rimmed, staring at his feet through the door.
"Oh Noah honey", Carole said moving Finn off her lap, "come here".
Noah just stood there, staring at Finn, feeling horribly guilty that he'd made his friend, his best friend so upset. He dropped his guitar and went to Carole's waiting arms, sobbing against her, telling her he was so sorry.
"Sweet heart it's okay, he'll be fine, you don't have to lie to him and tell him you love him or anything to make him feel better, he'll get better. He just wants his friend back is all, he wants to act like this never happened."
Puck shook his head, "But I don't".
Carole looked at him, "what are you trying to say?"
Puck looked at her and his voice barely above a whisper, "I love him too, but I'm so scared".
Carole just hugged him closer, "can I talk to him alone?"
She nodded, guiding Kurt, Blaine, and Burt into the kitchen.
Puck looked down at Finn, he looked so terrible and it was all his fault. He fought tears as he gently shook him awake. Finn wasn't sure where he was, he remembered his mom and Burt being with him for a long time, his mom making him shower and eat and lay on the couch after a while. He must've fallen asleep; he sat up rubbing his eyes. Puck watched him, his breath caught in his throat; he couldn't count how many times just seeing Finn had made him do that. Finn looked beside him, his eyes looked hurt, betrayed, lost, Puck couldn't stand to see those emotions in Finn's eyes. He saw tears gather in his eyes, "what do you want Puck?"
Puck sighed, "I thought we needed to talk".
"I thought you made how you felt perfectly clear a few weeks ago, if not it was quite clear to me", Finn spat angrily.
"Finn be quiet, I need to tell you something, all I ask is that you hear me out okay?"
Finn thought for a minute, "fine, talk".
"You know I'm not good with words, or emotions or any of that stuff, I'm still your friend man, okay, but there's a song that kind of will make you understand stuff okay?"
Finn nodded.
Puck got his guitar out, he looked at Finn, had a resigned look on his face, thinking probably Puck will tell him he'd rather be friends. Puck gave him a small smile, Finn smiled back as a tear rolled down his face. Without thinking Puck leaned in and wiped it away, not being able to tear his eyes from Finn's. He went back to his guitar, Finn felt like his heart was beating out of his chest, he'd dreamed of Puck for these last few weeks. How he'd handle himself when he finally told him that he just wanted to be friends.
Puck started playing his guitar, not meeting Finn's eyes, if Puck was going to do this he couldn't look at Finn's face.
I can't hide the way I feel about you, anymore
I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes, anymore
My tears no longer waiting
My resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you anymore
Let me make one last appeal
To show you how I feel about you
Cause there's no else I swear
Holds a candle anywhere next to you
My heart can't take the beating
Not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating
Deep inside my soul
It says I can't keep pretending
I don't love you anymore
I've got to take the chance, or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life
I can't hide the way I feel about you, anymore
I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes, anymore
My tears no longer waiting, oh
My resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending
That I don't love you, anymore
He finally had the courage to look up, not only were Finn's tears stricken eyes staring at him, so were four other pairs from the doorway. He looked back at Finn, seeing Kurt push the other three people out of the room, winking at Puck. He sat and waited for Finn to say something, all he did was look at his hands.
"Finn?"
"Did you mean it?" Finn asked quietly.
"Every word".
His eyes met Puck's, in an instant he was in his arms, both clinging to the other, crying into the other one's shirt.
"I'm so sorry Finn, for saying those things, I didn't mean it, I was just so confused and scared".
Finn looked at him, "I do love you, like really love you".
Puck nodded, "me too, me too".