Disclaimer: I do not own, yadda yadda, I bow to the gods, yadda, I am not worthy, human sacrifice, you get the point?
Summary: Post-Ep Holy Night - AU, Josh takes Donna out for drinks as promised for ruining her plans. MATURE
Author's Note: For those following, thank you for bearing with me! The holiday's have slowed down my posting, but I hope you won't be disappointed. Also, I tend to multitask. So expect a ficlit up sometime soon with some random musings. Chapter 3 of "Blink of the Eye" is almost finished, and chapter 3 of this story IS done, but I'm wondering if I should make a less... explicit one? I hate to offend, but I also hate the idea of censoring my own writing. As always, feel free to review, message, give ideas, etc. Enjoy!
When September Ends
Chapter 2: Inhibition (Rated Mature, you have been warned)
The Hawk and Dove was known for being loud and noisy, especially near the midnight hour, but tonight the crowd seemed especially full of Holiday Cheer. A live band had taken up a corner of the bar, playing rock versions of all the classic Christmas tunes surrounded by couples who preferred to 'rock the night away.' Decorations hung from every table and wall, with the frosted windows as finishing touches to the décor.
A table cleared itself just as Josh and Donna entered and they were quick to grab it, Josh taking Donna's order before making his way to the bar to get their drinks. The atmosphere gave him pause. Christmas was generally not a happy time for him. It was a reminder of many of the things that he still missed in his life and those he could not have. The bartender placed the drinks on the counter, a whiskey sour and a beer, and muttered a total.
Josh, feeling uncharacteristically generous, practically had to shout "Keep the change," as he handed over a 20 dollar bill to the bartender, a young guy he had never seen before who nodded his thanks, adding "Merry Christmas" at the last moment before turning to the next patron.
"Yea," Josh muttered, mostly to himself as he turned and made his way back to the table.
Donna was on the phone, one hand covering her opposite ear in an attempt to hear whomever was on the other end of the line. Josh laid her drink, the whiskey, in front of her before taking a swig from his beer. Lifting his eyebrows as he pulled the drink from his lips, he silently asked who was on the phone. Only Donna was so perceptive as to understand as she mouthed 'Mom' to him before nodding her head to some unheard question or statement her mother had just made.
"Uh huh. Yea, Mom. Yes, it is loud here. No, Jack did not take me… yes Josh. No mother. No. Uh huh. No, we made plans for next weekend. Uh huh. I know, I'm sorry. Yes, I know. Uh huh. Yes mom."
She smiled apologetically to Josh and lifted her drink to her lips. Distracted, she swallowed, "Yes mom." She managed to say, the burn in her throat causing her eyes to water. "Uh huh. No mom. No mom. No. I should—I should go. Yes mom. I will mom. Uh huh. You too. Bye"
She shut her phone and tucked it into her jacket pocket. "I'm really sorry about that. She forgets the time difference," she said by way of explanation as Josh nursed the tail end of his beer. She reached for her own glass again and downed the remainder in one go, causing Josh to raise an eyebrow as he finished his own drink.
"Don't worry about it," he said, indicating to a passing waitress for another round. "I take it she isn't too thrilled that I had your plans cancelled?"
Donna gave him a demure look, but didn't answer. Her mother had never been a fan of Josh, even though the two had never met. She attributed her daughters' lack of presence at any family function directly to Josh. Come hell or high water, no excuse was good enough to keep her little girl away from home on the holidays. She had even gone so far as to call Josh on one particularly busy Easter in order to complain. It didn't matter if the country had a budget or not, he was simply overworking her little girl and a shutdown would give her some much needed time off.
Josh had found it entertaining, Donna not so much. Truth be told, Donna had been appalled, embarrassed beyond belief. Not to mention the amount of ammo it had given Josh. Occasionally, he would still find some way to whittle in remark about the Easter bunny and cheese that made sense to him, but rankled on poor Donna's nerves. Of course, if her mother had only known the truth, that Donna had been staying with Josh during his period of mending she might have been more understanding. Or she might have believed her daughter was going to burn in hell for all her many sins of morality. It was hard to tell.
The next round arrived, and Donna silently lifted the glass to her lips. Her silent mood hadn't been missed by Josh, who had been watching her curiously.
"Donna?" he finally asked, "you still with me?"
"What?" Donna blinked, focusing back on the here and now, and again smiled apologetically. "No. She's not mad with you, she's mad at me for canceling them." She held up a hand to silence the denial on his lips. "She's right, Josh. I could have left earlier in the day. I could have asked Andrew to help make the calls, and Teri could have easily typed up the memos to even your satisfaction. I stayed because you wanted me to stay." She took another sip. Somehow, she thought admitting that would have made her feel better, but instead it only made her feel pathetic.
"Teri would have filled the memos with at least a dozen typos, plus she signs them all with a little heart for the 'i'" he made an accompanying dismayed hand gesture and shook his head disgustedly. "I mean, who does that?"
"Teri" Donna easily replied, hiding her smile with her glass. God but that burn did feel good on the way down, if you were expecting it.
"Donna," Josh said, causing her to raise her eyes. "I'm glad you stayed. Sorry to ruin your castle thing."
She had the good grace to laugh. "Oh, it's okay Josh. I'm sure I'll have another chance to act like a princess."
"You mentioned you made plans next week?" he replied nonchalantly, looking at the bar as though he were semi-disinterested.
Donna knew better. He was fishing. "Yes. We did. I had already requested next weekend off, which you approved I might add."
"Yea, about that-" he started.
"Josh!"
"Kidding, I'm kidding." He relented, the uneasy feeling returning, causing him to frown. Thankfully, Donna didn't notice, her eyes had been distracted by a couple of newcomers who were covered in snow. They were loudly discussing the sudden flurry with their friends at the immediate table.
"Guess I'll be sleeping in the office." Donna remarked, finishing her drink. Her flat was across town. Most of the major roadways had been closed for most of the day due to snow. She had hoped with the recent clearing she might have at least made it home, but now even that seemed impossible.
"Nah, you can stay with me." Josh offered, finishing his second round and throwing another $20 on the table. "I have a couch."
Donna looked skeptical, "Josh, no offense, but you do not have the most comfortable couch in the world."
Josh looked affronted. "My couch is very comfortable."
"You mean the one from college?"
Josh decided not to dignify the implication with comment, instead taking the high road. "You can have the bed, I can survive a night without it." Not mentioning that he often didn't make it to bed. Falling asleep on the couch had become too frequent of a habit for him.
For a moment, it looked like she was going to argue, but then she shrugged and reached for her coat. "Alright, but only if I can sleep in your Harvard sweater. The one with the thing on the front?" she said, standing and pulling her coat on.
"The insignia?" he questioned, with another raise of his brow.
"Yea, that."
"Fine. I'm not sure it's clean though."
"Why am I not surprised." She pulled on her gloves and pulled a scarf from her pocket, pulling it over her head.
"You look like one of those little Russian doll—" Josh started, before she silenced him with a glare. He put up his hands in defense and let it drop, making his way to the door and opening it for her.
Both of them stood for a moment in awe of the sight before them. The snow was coming down in clustered flurries, easily making it difficult to see. The light from the capital was much like the North Star guiding the wise men on their journey, a pinpoint in a flurried maze of doubt and insecurity. It was silent, and solemn— beautiful. It was only when someone from the bar commented on the draft that they scurried out and shut the door behind them.
"This way." Josh remarked, taking her overnight bag and heading down the lane.
Luckily, Josh's place was little more than a block away, a nice little brownstone with a great view of the city. It had been a steal at the time, and was even more so now since the place had been rent controlled. Josh always had a way to work the system to his advantage.
By the time they reached his place they were both numb to the bone and covered in a thick layer of powder. Josh was beginning to see the logic in Donna's scarf. Despite how thin it looked, it had managed to keep the snow from dampening her hair. She shook off the flakes before entering into his apartment complex, looking cold, but otherwise dry.
He, on the other hand, looked fairly damp. Donna smiled at the way his hair curled almost into ringlets about his face when wet. It made him look boyish. Her smile faded. It also made him look vulnerable and fragile. A reminder of how far they had come, how far they still had to go, and how close they came to never having the chance.
Silently, they climbed the stairs to the second floor, pausing only a moment as he unlocked the door and let her inside. His apartment was nicely heated and she felt glad to remove the jacket from her shoulders. She still wore the sweater from earlier, but she soon found even that too warm and pulled at its' sleeves as he muttered something about getting some things from his room before she turned in for the night.
Having spent time in his home during his recuperation, Donna easily knew where everything was. She found herself a glass, then opened his refrigerator. It was in a pitiful state. Pickles, beer, and a bottle of soda that looked more like molasses than cola, V8. Wait, V8? She shook her head. That had to be a fluke, or it was from so long ago she couldn't even remember buying it for him. Certainly Amy wouldn't have thought of it, and she couldn't imagine Josh ever making such a purchase. She settled on some ice from the freezer and a bottle of water.
Hearing the shower, she took an opportunity to remove her shirt and bra and replace them with a thin camisole from her overnight bag where Josh had laid it on the table.
"At least I came prepared." She laughed at her own joke, reaching into her bag again. A bag that had been meant for a stay in a glorious castle, but would instead suffice for a sleepover with Josh.
At Josh's. She meant at Josh's.
She shook her head, and listened for running water. Still hearing it, she removed her boots, socks, and pants and replaced them with a pair of pajama shorts. Her lingerie would stay neatly folded under her clothes. Josh didn't need to know ALL of her plans for the evening, even if she had hinted at them earlier.
Having folded up her clothes, she tucked them away and pulled out her toothbrush and toothpaste. The shower stopped just as she walked into the spare bathroom to freshen up for the evening, so she didn't feel guilty about flushing the toilet, though it would have made for an amusing scream from the other bathroom. She finished her evening toiletry, pulled her hair back and came back into the living room, just as Josh was returning.
He held out the Harvard sweater to her, as promised, pausing to look at her as she checked her phone for messages. A tightness formed in his chest as he did, she looked like she belonged, not like some stranger who only graced their presence every so often. Dressed in a mere camisole and pajama shorts that had seen better days, it marked a clear comfortability with him. It would have made him feel superior until he remembered that this wasn't a planned stay and that this casual look hadn't been meant for him but for somewhere else. He shook of the feeling and made his way for the kitchen. He was already feeling fuzzy from his drinks at the bar, but regardless he pulled open the door and held up a beer in offering when she looked up.
Donna shook her head, taking an appreciated glance at him as he looked for a bottle opener. His hair was now completely damp, only now from the shower rather than the snow outside. He looked refreshed in his white cotton top and boxers. It gave Donna full view of his well-honed calf and thigh muscles. Josh had been an avid runner before his accident and while he didn't run nearly as much as once he did, he still clearly worked out. She would have 'appreciated' the view more had it not been for the view she now caught outside.
"Wow," she started, making her way to the window. "It's really coming down."
"Yea, it's something." He remarked from behind her, but his eyes were firmly on her.
Josh joined her at the window, if only briefly, to hand her a beer despite her objection. He gave the outside only a passing glance before making his way to the couch. Her gaze followed him as he walked.
Somehow she had managed to miss the pillow and blanket he had bestowed there. As he plopped down, she came to join him, taking a swig of the beer (clearly he knew her better than she did) and leaning back. The two Whiskey sours made the world a pleasant glow, now the beer added a heaviness, causing her eyes to droop a bit as she watched the mesmerizing fall of the snow.
Josh was also caught in the falling maze. It reminded him too much of Christmas' past. Too much of snow ball fights unfought and snowmen left unbuilt. He closed his eyes and leaned back, enjoying the quiet and peace. A steadiness of her breathing next to him that drowned out any other thoughts that threatened to make room in his head.
"Mmm." The pleasant sound escaped Donna's lips, and Josh turned his head, opening one eye to look at her. She had turned her head towards him, eyes closed, wrapped in his sweater. God, she looked good. She shouldn't look so good.
"You should go to bed, Donna." He smiled, closing his eyes and listening to her regular breathing.
"Comfy here. Besides, my feet are cold." She replied, sleepily. Perfectly happy with the logic of her illogical answer.
"Here" he stated, not opening his eyes a second time, but somehow she knew what he wanted. She lifted her feet and placed them over his lap, turning her full body towards him. The motion put her only inches from his face, not that he noticed, but he could smell her. He could almost taste the scent of her toothpaste, the vanilla fragrance she wore behind her ear, the sweet cucumber melon of her deodorant. He placed his hands on her cold toes by method of distraction, already he could feel sleep looming.
The warmth of his hands, and Donna inched ever so slightly forward. "Mmm, better." She replied in a breathy whisper. So close that it made his fingers ache. His breath hitched ever so slightly. He was tired. That had to be it. If he could just get her to bed.
"Donna." He managed to say, but it came out a rough whisper.
Hazy as her mind was, she felt it more than heard it. "Josh." She acknowledged, leaning forward in an effort to pull herself off the couch so he could rest when they collided. Forehead to forehead with a painful thump!
"Ow!" came from Josh as he raised a hand to his head, Donna had done the same, coming hazily awake. She leaned forward.
"Ow, sorry! Ow… you have a hard head." She rubbed the tender spot on the side of her temple.
"Me!?" Josh winced at the sound he made, "You're the one who leaned into me" He pulled his hand back, tentatively pressing the spot. His eyes fell to Donna, still rubbing her head with her eyes closed, lips pursed in a pout.
"Here, let me look" he said, reaching out with both hands to lift her face. He tilted her head, eyeing the bruise that was beginning to swell and color. "It will bruise, but you should be—" he paused, caught by the sudden doe look in the those blue eyes that stared up at him. So close, just a fraction away.
He wasn't sure what happened next. Whether the haze of the alcohol had made him bold, whether the heated look in her eyes drew him in, or the sheer desire building in that moment, whatever the reason, he pulled her face that fraction closer and with a roughly rushed "Donna" he placed his lips to hers.
It was a tentative kiss at first, but the shock went straight to the core. The second kiss was more exploration. Soft, gentle, coaxing. He inhaled sharply through his nose, she gasped through her lips.
"Donna—" this time it wasn't a question, but a plea. She reached out a hand to his chest, a silent answer to whatever question he was wordlessly asking her. Yes.
Now the kiss became more aware and demanding. One hand snaked towards her waist, pulling her closer to him as his body angled itself more to hers. She angled her mouth against his, her hand caressing his cheek before moving to curl her fingers into his damp hair, to pull him closer. Her lips parted, granting his tongue access to hers. He groaned in her mouth, his hand slipping under the sweater she wore, his sweater, to find the soft, supple mound beneath still clad with a thin layer of cotton.
He groaned at the feel of her beneath him and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
His fingers contracted, pinching the taut nipple and eliciting a gasp from Donna as she pulled back from his kiss to arch her body into his hand, revealing her neck to him. He didn't need much of a hint, leaning forward to place hot, wet open-mouthed kisses on her flushed skin. Sweat had put a shine to it and her pulse throbbed as he traced the side of her neck with the edge of his teeth.
Pulling herself into his lap, she rocked against him involuntarily, grinding against the length of him, causing him to turn hard. He groaned against her throat and rocked into her. His hands finding their way to her hips to apply pressure and keep her where she was, unable to release the sensations she was causing.
"Josh!" his name came in a breathy whisper, pulling back to look at him. He threw his head back as she rocked against him once more, his eyes rolling back against the sensation. It was exotic and arousing to know she had such power over him, to know she could do this to him.
"Oh god—Donna!" the need in his voice creating in ache deep down in her and she wanted so much to give him whatever he needed. Her hands free, she raked them under his shirt, nails making contact with his flesh and jumping at her touch. She rained kisses down his face and neck, sliding her tongue along his skin and savoring the taste of him. He jumped against her and she could feel his length harden further against her.
The feeling was not merely exclusive, just as she aroused him, he could feel the arousal building in her. The shorts she wore provided his roaming hands with easy access. He could feel the heat coming off of her. The thin fabric already wet from their meager actions, he had the fight the urge to rip them from her so that he could take her then and there. Despite how ready she felt, he knew he had to build her up before he could proceed.
"Bed." He managed to grind out against her lips.
"Bed," she agreed, but neither of them moved, too unwilling or unable to leave the sensation behind, even for a moment.