Anyone ever notice how I'm REALLY bad at starting fanfics? (don't answer that...I know you've noticed.) But tell me how I can improve them please!

By the way, if anyone figures out whats wrong with Johnny before I tell you blatantly, you get a prize (probably I'll Just write something for you, dedicate a famous novel to you, ect)

I don't own the Outsiders

That night was a good night. I was thankful for that. I supposed it might be one of the last good nights before...well, anyway.

after we had watched three movies, gone through twice that many bags of popcorn, and countless wrestling matches, even Two-Bit was tired. Pony had curled up on the floor against my legs. I gently pushed him off, not to be mean, but for his own good.

He mumbled something, and shifted so he was curled on top of Soda's feet instead. Soda smiled at this groggily, his head drooping down to his chest, and then jerking upwards, in a futile attempt to stay awake.

Steve smiled next to me, not quite as tired as the others. "You wanna go to bed Johnny? You've been awful quiet."

I shook my head. I really wasn't tired. Credit it to years of being on the alert for the arrival of my father, or the sleepless nights spent in the lot with a car seat Soda and Steve had got me for my 15 birthday and the cold air as my blanket.

"No, but maybe we should make the others go to bed." Steve nodded at this, nudging Soda with his elbow. Darry, who had gone up to bed long ago, came down to practically carry Pony upstairs, and Soda followed soon after. I couldn't help but think that it would take less effort to just walk up the stairs then practically army crawl to his bed.

That just left me, Steve, and Two-Bit. Dally had gone to bed at Bucks, although I figured he was probably still partying. He was practically nocturnal.

"Want the couch Johnny?" Steve asked sleepily.

"No. You can have it, I'm gonna go find Dal." Steve studied me for a second, but I could tell he wanted to sleep as well.

"Ok Johnny. You be careful, you dig? And remember to come back here if you need to. Everyone else does." Steve said with a groggy smile. My lips twitched halfheartedly, and I murmured a goodbye to Steve.

I shivered as I stepped into the cold air of Tulsa Oklahoma. It's boiling hot during the day, but it can get real cold at night. I wished Pony had given me back my jacket, which I had lent to him just a couple of days ago.

I began to short walk to Buck's, taking the path that cuts through the park so I could avoid any Socs that were driving. Socs never walk around greaser territory; they would be dead meat in ten minutes.

Even from a hundred yards away, I could hear the drone of Hank Williams and the wild yells of wannabe cowboys. Buck's stank of alcohol, cigarettes, and unwashed bodies, and for this reason, I hated it. Smelled like my 'home', if you can call it that.

I slipped through the doors, and immediately slumped into a 'cool' position, my thumbs in my pockets, a smirk hanging on my face.

Dal was wrapped around some broad. They weren't kissing, just hugging, and this, more than anything, surprised me.

She was a pretty girl, but not noticeably so. She had sort of boyishly wide shoulders and chestnut brown hair skin tinged with yellow. Not Dal's type.

If she wore makeup, I couldn't tell, and her clothes were not fancy or revealing. Really not Dally's type.

I walked over to them curiously. "Hey Dal." I said quietly. Usually, I never spoke up in front of anyone other than the gang much less a girl. But for some reason, I found myself already comfortable around this chick.

"Johnny!" I gaped at Dal. He sounded so happy, so carefree, so...unlike himself. "Johnny this is Ida." The girl grinned at me, slightly inclining her stout head.

"Hey Johnny. You know this hood?" She cuffed Dally good natured like around the neck, and Dally smiled at her. She was probably the tallest girl I have ever seen. She towered above Dal and Me without any of those fake heels.

"Yeah." I whispered. I know she didn't hear me, but I figured the question was just a nicety anyway.

"Good, Dal needs a friend like you. Keep him in line. Dal, I'm going to retreat upstairs. Don't wake me up when you come in, or I will punch you." Dally chuckled, but not his usual dark chuckle. More happy then usual. "OOh, you think I'm kidding do you?"

"You know you could never hurt me. You love me too much. And you wouldn't want to ruin this beautifulness." Dal gestured to his face.

Ida raised an eyebrow, reminding me of Two-Bit. "Beauty if in the eye of the beholder." She turned to leave.

"And sometimes it it necessary to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye!" Dal shouted after her. I grinned up at him.

"So, are you finally settling with a good girl?" Dal looked shocked.

"What? Hell no Johnny. Ida is my best friend. We practically lived together as kids. And her sister, Ellis...but..."

I had never seen Dal so emotional. I guessed that Ellis had died, and nodded sympathetically.

"So, anyway," Dal said, after an amazingly loud awkward silence. "What do you need Johnnycakes?"

"Well, um."

"Spit it out!"

"I s-sort of don't have a p-place to stay...never mind, I'll just..." I turned a deep shade of red and turned to leave.

"Johnny." Dal sighed. "You don't have to be so scared kid. Ida and E- I mean, Ida is staying in my room, but there is still plenty of space. Go on up."

My eyes went wide, and Dally chucked. "Still scared of girls? I promise you, Ida is like no girl you've ever met. She wont be a bitch or try to make a move on you like that little slut Sylvia." Dally cursed, then looked around. "Where is she anyway? Johnny, go on up. you just make a place for yourself on the couch."

I walked up the stairs, dodging couples that were making out, and people drunk out of their minds.

I laid down gratefully on Dally's couch, noticing that Ida was sprawled out on Dal's bed.

As I inhaled the smell of sweat and alcohol, I reflected on what a lousy life I led.

And in that moment, more than in other moments, the constant thought at the back of my head was overwhelming. "Why not just end it?"