Clarke Griffin was tired. Like full body, every muscle aching, sleep until noon tired. She'd spent all week driving like a bat out of hell from New York City where she'd grown up to this small Oregon town. Then she'd spent the next two days unpacking her things at her new house and clinic. Her first day as the town doctor of Arkadia hadn't gone as well as she'd hoped either. She'd taken over the clinic from the previous owner who'd decided to retire. Dr. Hardgrove was a friend of a friend and had given her a way out when she'd desperately needed it. He'd failed to mention that his patients were extremely loyal and not excited about the idea of a new doctor especially a young one. She'd been butting heads with a lot of people long before Sheriff Bellamy Blake wandered in after hours.
Clarke let herself into her house and breathed a sigh of relief. She tossed her keys down on the entry table and stepped out of her shoes. Her new home might be a disaster, but at least it was hers. The small home she'd bought was a fixer upper. It needed a lot of work, but she was willing to put the time and effort in. After all, it kept her mind off things. She poured herself a glass of wine and took a small sip. As she was contemplating whether to order take out or cook her cell rang.
"Hi Mom," Clarke answered the phone, willing her voice to remain normal.
"Clarke," Her mother's voice sounded strained. Guilt swept through Clarke at the sound of it. Abby Griffin didn't deserve what Clarke had done, but she hadn't known what else to do. "I was getting worried. Where have you been? I went by your apartment, but my key wouldn't work. What's going on?"
The conversation she'd been avoiding was suddenly impossible to ignore. She hadn't meant to hurt anyone, especially her mother, but she hadn't seen any choice. Not if she was going to move on from what had happened.
"I moved. I'm sure the landlord probably changed the locks by now," Clarke dumped the glass of wine down the drain. It was starting to taste bitter running down her throat.
"You what? Why didn't you tell me? I would have helped you," Abby replied. "Where did you go? Closer to the hospital I hope. You always were too far away where you were before."
"No I didn't. It's actually a long way from the hospital," Clarke almost smiled at her joke. Under normal circumstances it might have been funny, but this was anything but normal. "Mom I left New York City. I left the whole state actually."
There was a long pause on the other end. Clarke worried she might have accidentally sent her mother over the edge finally. Lord knows her headstrong attitude, which she'd received from her mother, had tested their relationship enough as it was when she was growing up. Now, after everything that had happened, she never wanted that part of her to emerge again. It's what had started the whole mess to begin with.
"Clarke I don't understand. Where are you?" The hysteria in her voice was prevalent now and Clarke wished she hadn't been the one to put it there.
"In a little town on the Oregon coast. I'm running their medical clinic," Clarke replied. "Please don't worry Mom. I just needed a change."
"Clarke what happened wasn't your fault," Abby implored and Clarke suppressed a sigh. This was one of the reasons she'd had to leave. Despite her mother's intentions, her constant reassurances that everything hadn't been her fault only made her feel worse. It had been her fault. Everything had.
"I'd like to believe that, but I can't believe in what's not true," Clarke furiously swiped at a tear that trailed down her cheek. "I needed a fresh start. I hope you can understand that."
"I suppose so. I just wish it hadn't all been a secret," The hysteria was gone from her mother's voice, now replaced with a profound sadness that seemed to creep out of the phone and settle in every bone in Clarke's body. "Can I visit you sometime?"
"Of course Mom," Clarke swallowed back a sob, not wanting to upset her mother further than she already had. "Just not yet ok? The house I bought is in need of some help and I'd rather not have visitors until it's fixed."
"Ok baby," Abby replied. There was a long pause on the other end and Clarke could imagine her mother fiddling with the necklace that held her engagement ring. Although Clarke's mother had remarried, she still kept the ring from her first husband, Jake, with her every day. Clarke's father had been killed when she was a teenager and her mother had kept the ring on a chain around her neck since the day he died. She fiddled with it when she was upset. "I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Thanks. Say hello to Marcus for me," Clarke said referring to her step-father Marcus Kane. He was in the mayoral race this year which made her decision to flee that much worse. She hoped she didn't hurt his campaign by doing what she'd done.
Clarke hung up and tossed the phone in her purse. The idea of food long forgotten, she made her way to her bedroom where she stripped down to her bra and panties and crawled under the covers. She fell asleep that night with tears staining her cheeks.