Boku no CROSSOVER CRISIS!
Issue 2: Enter the Final Two Avengers! A Voice Speaks From The Shadows!
Inside the main building of U.A. High, All Might leads the American heroes down the maze of corridors. Cementoss and Eraserhead bring up the rear. Deku wanders beside the line of adults, the only member of Class 1-A to tag along. "So, Mister... Man-Spider, was it?" All Might asks.
"Eh, close enough." Spider-Man studies the Avengers card. A holographic display hovers above the card's surface, projected from a small lens set in its back.
"You'll have to explain to me why exactly it was so important we come this way," All Might says.
"A school for kids with powers, huh?" Rogue mutters in the background. "Sounds familiar..."
(At the back of the line, Ms. Marvel whispers to Squirrel Girl, "Hey, have we met before? I feel like we've met before."
"Yeah... Avengers Thanksgiving party, maybe?"
"Couldn't make it. School night."
"Right, right...")
"Well... this card doubles as a transponder." Two bright yellow pins glow on Spider-Man's holomap. "I can't raise the mansion, but I am picking up two signals close by. If they belong to other people from - uh - whenever we are, we should probably gather 'em up before any more misunderstandings happen. Right?"
("Maybe the Hoboken dimensional rift last month?" Ms. M asks.
"What? I don't even remember hearing about that one."
"Pffh," the New Jersey-dwelling heroine grouses. "Typical...")
"I suppose..." All Might rumbles. "But it seems unlikely they would also land in the middle of a training exercise... provided they weren't actually being attacked, would you not vouch for your teammates' judgment?"
"It... uh... depends." Spidey scratches the back of his head awkwardly. "On context."
"I see..."
("Oh!" Squirrel Girl snaps her fingers. "I know - that Port Authority thing back in March! With the Mindless Ones and the pig demons?"
Ms. Marvel shakes her head. "Nearly made it. I got stuck in the tunnel."
"Oh. Yeah, traffic in the Lincoln is the worst..."
"Eh-heh... actually..." Ms. Marvel sweatdrops. "I mean, I really got stuck in the tunnel. There was this one guy with a magical whatsis, and my powers freaked out...")
"Annnnnd this is a classroom, isn't it." Spider-Man stops by the incredibly large door to Classroom 1-B.
"I don't hear any screaming, at least..." Eraserhead mutters.
Spider-Man reaches out and turns the door handle. Please don't be Deadpool, he thinks. Please don't be Deadpool...
On the next page, he opens the door. He and All Might peer in to see...
"... thus, in the end, Akutagawa leaves us to question if there even is an objective solution to the mystery - or, indeed, an objective reality that our senses can perceive," a muscular figure covered in blue fur hanging upside-down from the ceiling says as he peers into a book. He wears a pinstriped waistcoat and a bow tie. Class 1-B doesn't seem particularly enthused by the lecture, but they're not falling asleep either. The text box in the panel reads: BEAST! Real name: Henry "Hank" McCoy! Occupation: Scientist / professor at the Xavier Institute! Quirk: Mind of a scholar, body of a gorilla/wolf/cat/blue... thing! (Ask about his PhD.!) "In that respect, the author was remarkably prescient of advancements in quantum mechanics that would take place later in the same decade. Dr. Werner Heisenberg would not introduce his landmark Uncertainty Principle until 1927, five years after -"
"... uh... Beast?" Spider-Man asks weakly.
"Ah! Spider-Man!" Beast flips down from the ceiling and removes his reading glasses. "Excellent timing! For next time, class, I would recommend you read Akutagawa's Hell Screen, as well as Richard Feynman's introduction to quantum behavior..."
"Uh, Professor McCoy?" Class 1-B's Itsuka Kendou asks from off-panel. "Could you just go over that bit about modernism again?"
On the next page, Beast emerges from the classroom. "So... I guess you just wound up here and... just decided to start teaching a class?" Spider-Man asks.
Beast shrugs. "Well, it seemed like the thing to do..."
"... so you're trying really hard not to think about the whole 'it's-the-future-and-I'm-dead' thing, huh?" Squirrel Girl asks Kamala in the foreground.
"Maaaaaaybe." Ms. Marvel twiddles her fingers.
Doreen nods sympathetically. "Dude. Time travel. Don't even get me started..."
"Well... um... if it helps..." Deku offers, breaking into the conversation. "I don't actually know when or how you died. There was just a little about you in this history book I read once." He thinks of a faded photograph of an older (as in, mid-sixties) Kamala, dressed in a Captain Marvel-style military uniform. "It just said that you started out under the name Ms. Marvel. And that you led the Posthuman Alliance in the defense of the New California Republic during the Age of Villains. That didn't turn out so great, so I kinda presumed..."
"Uh, dude - spoilers?" Squirrel Girl raises an eyebrow.
"Age of wha?" Kamala's eyes go wide.
"S-sorry! Sorry!" Deku's face goes red. "This situation - it's really kind of new to me..."
"No, no. It's okay, I get it," Squirrel Girl says. "You're just trying to help..."
"Okay, so that leaves just one more signal." Spider-Man studies the holomap again. "This one's further away, though... at least a mile or two."
Eraserhead peers at the map. "Oh, yeah. I know where that is."
"Where?" Spider-Man asks.
"It's the closest bar to campus."
"Oh boy..." Spidey rubs the back of his head. "Bet I know where this is going..."
"Hey, sweetheart! Can I get another double over here?" On the next page, we see the one and only Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, sitting at a bar called BIGGS' BREWERY. He's dressed in full armor, minus the helmet, which he's put down on the stool next to him. The text box over him reads: IRON MAN! Real name: Anthony "Tony" Stark! Occupation: Industrialist / inventor! Quirk: None! Just your perfectly average cyborg genius billionaire playboy philanthropist!
Over by the bar's entrance, Spider-Man narrows his eyes. "... seriously, Tony?" Eraserhead and Snipe stand by the door.
"Hey, look, I just got randomly warped hundreds of years into the future - or a future, anyway. You know, the whole multiverse thing, who even knows." Tony finishes off the shot in his hand. "If alcohol isn't the logical answer to that, what is?"
"That's... not how logic works," Eraserhead mutters.
"How do you know we're in the future?" Spider-Man asks.
"Moogled the date." Tony gestures to his helmet. "I've had JARVIS parsing the local nets ever since I got here. And guess what? Everything's wrong."
"What do you mean wrong?" Spidey tilts his head.
"It's wrong. It's off. It doesn't make any sense."
"Why? Because more people seem to have powers here?" Spider-Man eyes the bartender levitating a bottle of vodka over to her hand.
"Like three-quarters of the global population. But no, that I buy. What I don't is -" Iron Man raises a single finger. "Bullet point one. Their tech. It's barely more advanced than what we've got in our day. No faster-than-light travel. Like - at all. Even though Richards and I reverse-engineered that Chituari ship for the government ages ago."
Spider-Man gives in and takes a seat. "Well, it's not like you could completely replicate it, right?"
"It's a work-in-progress. Which leads to bullet point two - domo arigatou gozaimasu," Tony says to the bartender as she drops off the next shot. "No aliens. No Chitauri, no Asgardians, no Skrull invasions every other week. No SHIELD or SWORD. It's all been wiped from the historical record. As far as everyone here is concerned, first contact is still science fiction."
"Huh. You're right. That is weird..." Spider-Man scratches his neck. "Look, Tony - we should get back and compare notes with the others. They'll want to know about all of this."
"Oh, right. I saw the card signals. Who else we got?" Tony asks.
"Uh... Thor - goddess, not Odinson."
"Uh-huh."
"Ms. Marvel. Two X-Men..."
"Logan?"
"Nah, Hank and Rogue."
"Huh. Weird. Guy usually shows up everywhere."
"Yeah, I don't know when he finds time to sleep... then there's you, me and..." Spider-Man coughs. "... doreen..."
Tony tilts his head. "Sorry, come again? I didn't hear that."
Yeah, better just rip off the band-aid, Spidey thinks. "Uh... Squirrel Girl."
"Oh, God. She's here?" Tony rolls his eyes. "Okay, I was wrong. I'm clearly not drunk enough for this. Hey, 'cuse me - can I get a bottle to go? Gin, whiskey, whatever you got? Can I do that here?"
"No," the bartender says bluntly. "And about your credit card, sir - the computer's telling me that this brand hasn't been active for over two hundred years."
Tony raises an eyebrow. "Someone actually programmed it to say that?"
Spider-Man glances at the card. "Oof. So much for American Express, huh?"
"Yeahhh, about that..." Tony slouches a little. "That... kinda leads into the other reason I'm drinking."
Later, back in the school, a holographic globe pops up in the middle of a darkened auditorium. It starts out as colored outlines, then fills in with satellite imagery. The map is currently focused on North America, which - from the looks of things - is mostly a desolate wasteland, pockmarked with large craters and mostly reduced to dusty plains. The Florida Peninsula has been mostly swallowed by the ocean, with the exception of the very tip, around Miami and the Keys. Certain points of interest - CHICAGO, NEW BABYLON, ELECTROVILLE, OSBORN CITY - are marked in blue. A large area of land extending between the Sierra Nevada and Rocky Mountains (including the present-day states of Nevada and Utah, as well as bits of California, Oregon, Idaho, Colorado, and Arizona) has been marked off in dark red.
"Oh, Lord," Rogue mutters from somewhere else in the room.
"Geez. Is the city even there anymore?" Ms. Marvel asks in a small voice. "I don't even see Long Island..."
In a wider shot, we see all of the American heroes, the teachers, and Deku standing around the hologlobe. The auditorium appears to be a classroom of some sort.
"The era where Quirks - or superpowers, if you prefer - first appeared was one marked by turbulance and strife," All Might says. "While it produced great heroes, it also created great chaos. Eventually, human civilization itself nearly collapsed entirely. America, the very birthplace of heroism, was hit hardest of all. Our records are fragmentary, but it appears powerful bands of villains eventually overcame the heroes there and took control, slaughtering any who would stand in their way. We call this the so-called Age of Villains.
"While that period of darkness has since come to an end, rebuilding in that part of the world has been slow..." All Might strokes his chin. "I myself carry the blood of refugees who took shelter here in Japan during that time. I patterned my image and the name of my attacks in their honor, and in memory of that land which once held such promise..."
"So what's that red blob over in the west?" Spider-Man asks.
"A stain upon our world," All Might says bluntly. "The last remaining Villain State. The so-called Nation of Apocalypse. A place of tyranny and unimaginable despair..."
"Oh, dear." Beast adjusts his glasses. "That sounds distressingly familiar."
"JARVIS pulled some info on the place from the news sites," Iron Man says. "Nice place. Imagine North Korea meets Latveria times a thousand. Ruler's a question mark - nobody's even knows what gender the guy is, much less what they look like. Goes by all sorts of different names. Lord Crimson, the Queen of Pain, the Burning Eye - y'know, all the usual Dark Lord Sauron stuff."
"To outsiders, at least," All Might says. "The terrified people they rule merely call them God. I went there once when I was young, to try and free those I could... I didn't get far. Their military contains individuals with some astonishingly powerful Quirks. That's how they've managed to remain in power all these years, in spite of our best efforts..."
"Look, this sounds... y'know... just amazing and all..." Spider-Man folds his arms. "But why don't we backtrack for a second here? All of us from the past - we all got here the same way, right? Hit by lightning that was probably - like - magic or something?"
There's a general murmur of assent. "Regardless of how we arrived here," Thor says, "it seems obvious that we seven in particular were chosen, or perhaps targeted. For what purpose - that is the question."
"Unless it's just Zeus messing with us again," Iron Man says. "Just throwing that out there."
"Nah." Squirrel Girl eyes the big red blotch on the map. "Doesn't feel right. 'Sides, Herc promised he'd make him stop."
("Still kinda surprised Deadpool didn't turn up here, though," Kamala mutters.
"Shh!" Doreen hisses back. "He'll hear you!")
Deku glances over at All Might. He notices a small bit of steam coming off the elder hero's elbow. "Um... All Might?" He motions to the steam.
"Ah!" All Might claps his hands. "You'll all have to excuse me. I just remembered I have something urgent I must attend to. If you'd just stay here with the other faculty, I'm sure the principal will arrive any moment now."
With that, All Might rushes out of the room.
In a men's locker room some distance away, All Might rushes in just as the last of his heroic form dissipates. That was close! he thinks. Good thing Midoriya was there, or I might have forgotten entirely!
He goes to the sink and washes his emaciated form's face. These other heroes, though... he thinks. Could they really be who they say they are? Time travel... I've heard rumors of such things. But I always thought they were just stories!...
He looks up at the mirror - and sees a shadowy figure standing behind him.
He quickly turns around. "YOU?!" But there's no one there. When he looks back to the mirror, the figure is gone.
All Might thinks for a moment. He pulls out his cell phone and dials. "Nedzu, sir," he says. "I'm sorry to bother you, but you said to contact you immediately if I ever saw him again."
"Oh, dear," the principal replies. "The Watcher? Are you certain?"
"It was him." All Might runs his hand through his hair. "This situation with the past heroes... if he's involved, it must be serious beyond anything we can imagine..."
Elsewhere. An immense city stretches out before us, neon lights and marquees mixed with industrial smokestacks and abattoirs. (A sample of some of the casino signs - DAILY SPECIAL: 35% OFF ALL PIT SLAVES! NEED CASH? ASK ABOUT OUR U-BET-UR-LIFE PROGRAM! REVEREND FLAGG'S PALACE. LIVE - WORK - DIE.) Lost Vegas, a caption box reads. Capital of the Nation of Apocalypse.
In a dark chamber deep beneath the city, a frail old man with a cybernetic eye hurries through vast empty halls of marble and iron. He wears a plain brown robe, and his hair was once red, though long-since grayed. He enters a darkened room and immediately prostrates himself. "You called, Sire?" he wheezes.
A large screen lights up on one wall. It displays a satellite image. "WORM," a voice from off panel says. "WHAT IS THIS PLACE?"
The servant straightens up. "Ah... I believe that is U.A., Sire. A famed Japanese military academy, specializing in the training of so-called heroes."
"DEPLOY THE LEFTOVER TRASK STOCK THERE," the voice says. "SET THEM TO REVERT TO THEIR ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING UPON ARRIVAL. AND RECALL THE VALKYRIES FROM THE BORDER."
"At once, Sire."
"AFTER THAT, KILL YOURSELF."
"Of course, Sire," the old man says, without a hint of emotion. "By what means?"
"THE INCINERATOR SHOULD SUFFICE."
"As you command, Lord." The old man turns to leave, then hesistates. "If I may, my Lord... is it him at last? Is the Enemy finally on the move?"
"WE SHALL SEE."
That is all the old man's willing to risk. There are so many things worse than death, after all, and the old man is far too familiar with many of them. He bows again, then scurries away. At least it's just the incinerator this time, he thinks. I must have served well...
OMAKE / LETTERS COLUMN!
The caption box above the first strip reads: Q: Hey, Spidey. How does it feel to be in charge of Team Marvel?
Spider-Man raises an eyebrow. "I'm in charge? Since when?"
"Thou doest have the most combat experience out of all us here," Thor says. "And with the exception of Stark, thou art the most senior Avenger present."
"... huh. I guess." Spider-Man rubs his head as Thor leaves the panel. "I dunno. I really don't see it that way. I mean, it's not like the Avengers don't have a pretty flat org chart to begin with. Sure, Cap can order everyone around and all, but that's just because he's Cap. And we usually only do what Tony says because he pays for everything.
"But I guess Tony's been pretty hands-off recently. (Between you and me, I dunno how he and Pepper are doing these days.) So as long as he's not pulling rank... and if by leader you mean 'guy who tries to keep everyone on track and in one piece'... I guess I can do that? Probably? Maybe?... help?..."
The top of the second strip reads: Dear All Might - you and the other U.A. teachers seem to be awfully trusting of these unregistered heroes who just showed up out of nowhere on your doorstep. Doesn't this whole 'time travel' thing strike you as a little farfetched?
"Indeed!" All Might replies, back in his heroic form. "Rest assured, we're quite aware that this very well might be some sort of villainous plot! Even if these heroes truly believe their story, they might still prove to be clones! Or robots! Or robot clones! One cannot be too careful!
"However - it is also true that - aside from their unauthorized appearence on school grounds and skimping on a certain bar tab - these strange heroes have broken none of our laws! Even their actions against Class 1-A could reasonably fit within the bounds of self-defense! So until they show their hand, whatever that might be, us teachers have resolved to let things play out... all while keeping a very close eye on them all, of course!
"Err... no offense," he finishes, as Iron Man wanders into the panel, a gin and tonic in hand.
"Eh, don't worry about it," Tony says. "That's pretty much what I'd be thinking, too."
The third strip begins: Q: Ms. Marvel - all things considered, you seem to be handling this whole dead-in-the-future America's-totally-destroyed-now thing pretty well.
"Is that one it looks like?" Ms. Marvel asks. "Ha HA oh god it's all a lie I am still so totally freaking out on the inside. I mean, one second I'm on patrol in Jersey after school, same as normal. The next, I'm in, like, the post-post-apocalyptic future? In a completely different country? And everyone I know is dead and Jersey's half-flooded and oh God my parents are totally gonna kill me if I'm home too late? And I guess I'm in a history book and all, which is kind of cool, but it's because I was in a frelling war? On the losing side, too, I guess?...
"And then there's the whole time travel thing, which I haven't really done before... oh, man. What if this is one of those bad futures that happened because the seven of us were pulled out of time and weren't there to stop it? What if the only way to fix it is for me to go back in time and make sure I never went to the future in the first place? Only it all goes wrong and I end up in like 1940 or something and I have to wait until I catch up to my younger self and make her move like a step or two to the right or something... and that's great for her and all but I'm still like a bajillion years old and nobody recognizes me and I -"
"Dude! Dude. Breathe." Squirrel Girl enters the panel and puts her arm around Ms. M's shoulders. "It's gonna be okay. Trust me. Nine times out of ten with this time travel biz, you wind up getting back - like - three minutes after you left. Tops. And even if this is our future, whatever that means, ten to one there's something we can do to change it when we get back. (Then this'll just wind up being, like, Earth-four-billion-and-something on a wiki page somewhere.)"
Kamala takes a deep breath. "... if we do get back, can we hang out more?"
Doreen gives her a crooked smile. "I'll see what I can do."
The final strip begins: Q: How are your classmates doing after the battle last issue, Deku? And what do you think of the Marvel heroes so far?
"Oh, everyone's fine," Midoriya says. "Recovery Girl fixed Kacchan and everyone else up. I mean, not many of us got hurt, just webbed up or iced down. Nothing we wouldn't expect from our usual sparring sessions. I hear Todoroki is still unconscious, but Ms. Rogue said that he should be back on his feet in another hour or so, and that his powers should be back sometime later on tonight. (Not gonna lie, though... that power-draining Quirk's kinda scary...)
"As for the other heroes... um. I guess they seem all right? (Even if that guy in the power armor smells kinda like rubbing alcohol.) I haven't really had time to talk to them very much. Everyone's just been scrambling around, trying to figure out what's going on. The only reason I'm even here is because I offered to stick around after school in case they needed an extra translator for something... and it turns out Professor McCoy speaks Japanese anyway, and that woman with the hammer has some kind of auto-translator she can share with the others, so I haven't even had all that much to do...
"Combat-wise, they were definitely all pros, from what I could see." Deku scratches the back of his head. "I mean, it's pretty obvious in retrospect they were all trying their best not to really hurt any of us. (Except maybe Kacchan, but he kinda didn't give them a whole lot of choice.) In spite of that, we could barely touch them. Maybe if we'd been better organized and less scattered, we could've made a better showing... but I don't know.
"Otherwise, though, I have to admit, they seem a lot nicer and more reasonable than I would've expected. Given what that period of history was like and all." He smiles awkwardly. "Whatever's going on with this whole time travel thing, I'm sure there's a lot I can learn from them. Who knows! Maybe I'll even get to see them in action again!"
Careful what you wish for, kid... - ed.
Have questions for next issue's Letters Column? Leave them in the comments!