Hey! Ok, so I know this update is looooong overdue and that you're probably really annoyed at me for not posting any more for over a week! I can only say that I've been extremely busy, I've had barely any time to write. School is hectic at the moment, I've got several exams that count towards my GCSEs (if you don't know what they are, they're like UK exams to get you qualifications and jobs). I've been having lots of hospital trips for treatment and my brother's birthday was on Monday, so I really haven't been able to write. I'm soooo sorry and I hope that this chapter helps to get you lot to forgive me. I'll try to update more, I promise! I'm back in hospital, but luckily I have my laptop, so I can write, so hopefully I can get a lot of writing done!

Thank you to all of the AMAZING people that reviewed, favourited and followed this story, without your support I wouldn't be able to continue writing...anything. I've been feeling really down lately because of everything with mine and my sister's health right now, but your comments make it all worth while and I can smile again when I read them. Thank you all so much for that :)

I do not own big time rush in any way, unfortunately ;)

I hope you like this and that it makes up for not updating sooner! :)

Steeling himself against the blockade of tears that were determined to fall, Kendall decided he should face his son. He stood on wobbling legs as he finally managed to get them to work and walk towards the 5 year olds room. He took several deep breaths and once again had to stop as three tears made their way out. He was a dad. Dads weren't meant to cry. So, with that going round and round in his mind like a carousel, he pushed open the door. Inside, the little boy sat up and grinned, showing off an array of dimples. Kendall tried to smile back, but could tell he failed miserably. He sat down, running a hand through his already messed up hair and sighed.

"What's wrong daddy?" the little boy asked, confused as to why Kendall was acting strange and hadn't greeted him straight away.

"Nothing Logan, nothing's wrong" Kendall replied, re-attempting his shaky smile to calm his worried son. Logan frowned and put his hands firmly on his hips, mimicking an angry mother. If it had been a normal day, Kendall would have laughed.

"You're lying" Logan said accusingly. His frown was then exchanged for a worried and almost scared countenance. "Am I sick daddy?" he asked quietly. Kendall looked up into those chocolate brown orbs. He knew he couldn't hide the truth from him.

"Yeah buddy, you are. But, with the doctor's medicine and then an operation, you'll be ok" Kendall answered. Logan nodded a thoughtful look on his face.

"I think I would like it in heaven with mommy if I had to go."

Kendall's head shot up from where he had been studying the floor. That sentence was so out of the blue that it knocked him back slightly. How much did Logan know? Why was he thinking like that? Kendall almost started panicking that his 5 year old son was thinking about what would happen if he died. But instead he tried to see why Logan had said that in the first place.

"Logan...why did you say that? You're not going to go to heaven any time soon." He said to reassure himself as well as Logan. He wasn't sure who needed it more.

"Because" Logan started "I heard you and the nice doctor talking" he shrunk back into his pillows with a look of shame on his face. "I know I should have stayed in bed, but I wanted know what was wrong." He stopped to gauge Kendall's reaction. "I'm sorry daddy, I didn't mean too. Am I going to be in trouble now?" he asked meekly.

Kendall sighed; it felt as if that's all he had been doing lately. "You're not in trouble, Logan. I'm not mad, I promise." He took a deep breath. "But, what I said before is true, buddy. You're not going to heaven; you're going to get all better. I'll make sure of it."

Kendall looked up from where he was sitting outside the hospital room, as two voices could be heard shouting out to him.

"Kendall! Kendall!" James called, in a panicked tone. Kendall mentally slapped himself. When he had called his two best friends since his younger years earlier, he hadn't explained to them exactly why they were in the hospital. He just remembered telling them to get there now because Logan had been rushed in. He should have told them that Logan wasn't actually dying or dead. A horrible, fleeting thought crossed his mind, so awful that he had to take a deep breath. Logan wasn't dead...yet. The young father, who had possibly aged ten years in the last hour, shook his head. Logan wasn't going to die. He was going to get treatment and he was going to live. He opened his eyes, which seemed to have been squeezed shut, to see two men before him. Man had they all grown up in the last few years.

"Kendall! What's happened? How's Logan? Is he ok? Kendall!" Carlos cried, waving his arms frantically. He and James bored into Kendall's eyes, trying to find any answer from the unresponsive blonde.

"He's ok...for now." Kendall finally managed to get his mouth to work again. He sighed as they all took a seat. "You know about the all the stuff that's happened in the past few months, the sickness bug he got, the sleeping for hours on end, the bruising..." Kendall watched as the other two nodded slowly. "Well...today we were getting ready and he came down and he-he collapsed. I rung 911 and they brought him straight here and they ran some tests." He stopped abruptly, rolling his eyes to the ceiling to try and hold back more tears.

"What were the tests for? Did they show anything?" James barrelled questions at him, ten to the dozen.

"Leukaemia."

"What?" Carlos choked out. He didn't want to believe the whispered word that was just barely audible.

"Logan has Leukaemia..." Kendall realised as he said it out loud, it only made it worse. Before, he hadn't really believed it. Time had seemed to slow down altogether and merged into one big blur. Now that they were actually talking about it, it became the reality. James and Carlos watched as their best friend crumbled. He burst into sobs, falling to his knees wailing. The two bent down and led Kendall over to at set of secluded chairs. They sat there, just holding each other as they cried. Crying because the little boy that deserved the best had been given a disease that was so horribly uncertain. Crying because no one knew what the outcome would be. Crying because they didn't want Logan to...die.

"W-where is he now?" Carlos uttered once they had all sobered up slightly.

"He's in there. He woke up and I wasn't going to tell him, but he overheard me and the doctor. He knows he's sick and that the doctors are gonna give him medicIne and eventually have an operation." Kendall paused, debating whether he should tell James and Carlos what Logan had talked about with him. "He told me he would like heaven if he died. With Jo."
The two could only blink and stare wide eyed in response.

"W-what? Why?..." James couldn't think of anything better to say. Kendall chuckled bitterly.

"Yeah, I know. A 5 year old is talking about dying. He should only be worrying about what he wants for dinner, yet look where we are."

"Kendall, he's going to pull through, we're all going to help and support him through this." Carlos said, placing a hand on Kendall's shoulder. Kendall gave him a nod and finally pulled his lips up into a small smile. As long as they were together, they could get through this.

"Is he ok? Why are you out here?" James asked with worry.

"The doctors wanted to do some more tests or whatever. They gave him something to make him sleep so that he wouldn't get scared or upset. They shouldn't be too much longer."

Just as Kendall spoke to his friends, Dr. White exited the room, saying thank you to two nurses as they walked off down the corridor. He smiled kindly at the newcomers and sat in front of them all.

"Hello, gentlemen, I am Dr. White, are you relatives or friends?"

"Friends and relatives. We're practically brothers and Logan's as good as our nephew." James answered without hesitation. "I'm James, that's Carlos." The doctor smiled again.

"Good, Logan will need as much support as he can get during this tough time and I'm sure you're the best people for the job. I was actually coming to talk to you about treatment, if that's ok? The sooner we can get started, the better." Kendall took a calming breath.

"I'd like to go with the chemotherapy. It seems like the most reasonable option." Earlier, the doctor had given Kendall a few leaflets on different treatment options. From what he had read, chemotherapy was the most common used and held less risk of death. Not to say it always worked though. With all of the options, there had been masses of fatalities. Kendall wanted a treatment method for Logan that could work and since chemotherapy was the most used, it seemed sensible to go with that.

"Are you sure you don't want to think it over some more, talk to James and Carlos about it?" the doctor questioned.

Kendall shook his head firmly. "I've made my decision." The doctor looked to the others before he nodded to the young father.

"Very well. Since Logan has just been brought in today, I would like to give him 2 days rest before we start the treatment. You realize there are side effects though?"

"Yes" Kendall replied simply.

"What are they?" Carlos asked almost in fear. He didn't want to see Logan suffer too much. He was only a little kid.

"Chemo can affect different people in different ways, although the most common side effects are fatigue, severe nausea and hair loss. There is no way of telling just how much these will affect Logan, because as I said, it works differently with different people."

James absent-mindedly ran his hand over the small bump in his pocket. His lucky comb. He had possessed one ever since grade school and for some reason, the comb was dubbed as lucky. His current lucky comb, was from Logan himself. Kendall had told him how Logan had saved up all of his pocket money to get it for him. James always ran it through his hair, making sure he stayed looking perfect and sometimes would even style Logan's hair for him. He grew guilty at the thought of being able to have hair, whilst Logan's grew thin and fell out.

"All the tests we have taken are done; you may go in and see him now. He should be waking up shortly. You can stay in the hospital with him, usually I
don't allow this, but since he is so young, for Logan I will. I shall be back later to check up on him." the doctor said his goodbyes and the three got up, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Carlos gasped at seeing the little boy looking so small and fragile in the massive hospital bed. He was hooked up to an IV, the tube sinking down under a white sticky bandage just above his wrist and disappearing into his arm. A beeping sound came from the heart monitor, showing the steady rise and fall of a green line. What got to Carlos was that Logan looked so pale. If it wasn't for his chest moving in the easy, regular motion, he would have thought Logan was much worse off. They all silently pulled up chairs alongside Logan and Kendall grasped the small, unmoving hand. He kissed the little finger one by one. Soon after, Logan's eyes stated to flutter before slowly prying themselves apart.

"Hey Logie" Kendall greeted softly, stroking back the luscious brown locks. When Logan had been born, he had a full head of hair already. The only wonder was how it came to be dark, dark brown when both of his parents were blonde. It just went to show how unique Logan really was.

"Uncle James! Uncle Carlos!" Logan squealed as he eagerly sat up and accepted hugs from both men. "You came!" he added, bouncing in place. Sometimes, Logan could be just as hyper as Carlos was when he was younger. No, as hyper as Carlos still was.

"Of course we came! We're going to be here for everything." James said, knowing he didn't need to ask Carlos and that the Latino was already planning on doing just that.

"How are you feeling, Logie?" Carlos asked, looking over all the machines like he would be able to understand them. It was a puzzle to him and he figured that if something were really wrong, they'd make some sort of warning sound.

"I'm great! You're here now and that means it's even better! Daddy's been worrying a lot." Logan replied with a small frown.

"Well, he's just worried about you. We all are." James informed the small boy.

"But I'm ok." there was confusion in his voice. "I might be sick, but daddy said the doctors will give me medicine and then an oppyraton to make me better." The grown men couldn't help but smile at his adorableness. "And I feel fine now."

"Well, daddy's just being silly, isn't he?" Kendall spoke. The question was meant to be rhetorical but Logan still nodded.

"There's no need to be worried daddy. I'm going to fine."

And Kendall held onto that like a lifeline.

So how'd you like it? Was it good enough and did it make up for not updating? I can only hope that it was. I'm going to start writing the next chapter right now, so hopefully it can be updated quicker. I'm sooo sorry again and I really hope the wait was worth at least something. I know I've probably let you all down and I feel so guilty. My friends and my friends on here have started to ignore me for some reason and I can only think that it's because of someting I've done or said or because of how bad I am at updating. I hope that you don't feel the same way and if you do I'm truly sorry.

Like I said, reviews are a chance for me to be able to smile again. I love reading them and they cheer me up so much, not just to know that you like my work, but also because you like ME enough to read my stories. For that I am truly grateful. So, please please please could I ask you to review this chapter? I would love to know what you thought of it and if it was worth it. I'm seriously debating on whether I should continue writing on here, but I really don't know what I should do. So, if you can review, that would be soooo nice.

Thank you all so much,

~swagUPwindowsDOWN (a.k.a Sarah) :) xoxo