II Dreams of Childhood Dreams
I was always the type of girl that would dream up wonderful images of my wedding. Maybe this is what lead people to treat me so horribly.
Let me explain this better.
When I was a young girl, maybe up until I was seven years of age, I would have strange and detailed dreams of what my wedding would be like. My dreams would always be the same. There was never anything different about them, the things that I could see clearly always stayed clear and the things that I couldn't I would never see.
The wedding would be the grandest wedding I have ever seen. Hundreds of people would come solely to see this wonderful wedding ceremony of two people who loved each other so very much. There would be a holy priest marrying us.
My dress would be made of the finest material. The tight bodice would hug every curve of my body. The bodice was made of the softest white silk with traces of lace through it. In the white material there would be small stones sewn in making small flower patterns. The skirt of the dress would be tight until it reached my hips and then it would loosen out and sweep the floor ever so slightly. My hair would be curled slightly, most of it pinned up with only a few tendrils framing my face with a veil only barely masking my face. There would be only a small amount of make up on my face, showing off my natural beauty rather than covering it with make up.
My husband would also look just as grand as I did. He wore black pants with a golden dragon sewn into the side of his left pants leg. His shirt was a long sleeved white silk shirt with a gold dragon going up from his right hip to his left shoulder. Resting at his left hip was a sword. It was a sword resting in a deep blue sheath.
What amazed me the most were his eyes.
He had ruby red eyes that would become hidden behind unruly jet-black bangs. His eyes would look at me gently, with nothing but love in them. Love for only me. Sadly that was all I could ever see of him. My dreams, no matter how detailed they were, never showed me what my husband-to-be's face or voice was like.
Whenever I had this dream about my wedding I would always go to my mother. She would only smile at me knowingly and tell me that he side of the family was "gifted." She told me that I should always hold on to that dream. I tried to get her to tell me what she meant by "gifted." Whenever she came close to telling me my father would come.
What ever it was that she wanted to tell me she certainly didn't want my father to know. It was almost as if she was afraid that if she told me her secret he would hurt either one of us or even both of us even more. My father was never a man I would say I love. He always hurt us.
It wasn't until a year later, shortly after I had turned seven, that I finally found out what my mother had meant by "gifted." It wasn't until my mother was on her deathbed and we were alone that she told me about my grandmother's history and where our family came from. Because of this my dying mother made me promise never to forget my dream. I promised her I would never ever forget such a beautiful dream.
Four days later she died. Sachiko Kanzaki, my beautiful and loving mother was dead. After her sudden death everything fell apart. If that was even possible. My father remarried after a few months. I thought that maybe it would get better after he got married; I thought that the beatings might end. It only got worse.
My father married a rich woman who had no children of her own. As soon as she had set her icy cold blue eyes upon me she instantly declared that I was a bad and insolent child. She arranged it so that I would spend the next eight years of my life in hell. I was to be sent to a boarding school for non-genteel girls. It was a school that made a "country ruffian," like myself as she put it, into a refined and genteel young marriable woman.
When I had turned fifteen the Mother Superior of the boarding school felt that I was refined enough according to the standards that had been in the letter that had been sent to her prior to my arrival by my father's new wife.
When I had arrived at the boarding school the only thing I had was my dream and my promise. Unfortunately it did not take long for the school to rob me of those as well. The boarding school took away the only tie I had to my mother. My last true happiness was gone after only half a year. The Sisters that taught at Jeture's Boarding School for Young Girls made sure that my mind was only focused on becoming "civilized." I soon had no time to think of my mother, my dreams and promise or even about my history. In only six months I forgot everything. I didn't even have The Dream anymore. Everything was taken from me.
Maybe some day if I ever see Yukari again she'll remind me. Remind me of whom I was when I first met her. Remind me that I had hopes and dreams and a promise to keep to my mother. Yukari Uchida was the only friend that I had there. She was the only one that tried to make genuine friends with me, because of that I told her about my promise to my mother. Unfortunately the school had changed her as well. She had hated her mother and father for sending her to the boarding school but soon she too forgot.
When I was finally sent "home" the one thing that my father and stepmother did, that eight years ago I would have fought against to my grave, I only nodded and smiled to saying an obedient "Yes Father."
If only I hadn't been broken so easily I would have found my destiny unlike my dear mother.