Title: The Healing Process
Chapter Two: Unexpected Circumstances
A/N: In which our dear Jane has some surprises thrown at her, and she deals with some nasty emotions.
(Disclaimer from chapter one still applies)
It was a week before she saw 007 again. She later learned through his mission report that he had run off with the Giacinta girl, or "Jinx" as he had come to call her. She was supremely annoyed that he had to hide away with another woman just to make himself feel better. She'd never tell him about the pang of childish vindictiveness that engulfed her upon reading his report, or how she had used Q's VR technology to have an impulsive snog with his electronic counterpart right before he sent it in.
Besides the latter emotion, Moneypenny was also remorseful about the blunt manner of her rebuff and to have caused him emotional trouble while he was probably already battling the anxiety over his mission. In retrospect, she supposed she could have laughed it off with non chalance. Well, maybe that would have been worse. She still felt like she could have handled herself better.
Despite her guilt, she could not deny her enjoyment of the events that occurred during James's absence. She could not say she wasn't pleasantly surprised to find a shame-faced David standing on her doorstep with a shabby bouquet of Freesians in his hand.
He smiled shyly at her and offered her the flowers, clearly not expecting to be let inside. The analytical, wary portion of her conscience snapped at her that she should just slam the door shut in his face, the continual bursts of anger that had fueled her energy since her rebuff of James's advances still gripped her fiercely. The look in his eyes was one of complete sheepishness, it seemed to melt her resolve and for some miraculous reason, she decided to let him in.
David handed the flowers to her with a smile that slightly crinkled the corners of his eyes. Moneypenny accepted them with grace before going into her kitchen cupboards in search of a suitable vase for them. She filled it with water and set them on her dining table, admitting that they did make a rather nice centerpiece. He stood behind her, looking as though he didn't quite know what to do next. He chewed on his bottom lip, a habit they both shared.
"Look Jane, you know I'm not eloquent or anything like that. I came to you to apologise," She was mildly surprised at that, but she said nothing. She waited for him to continue.
"I want to start fresh. I really like you, don't get me wrong, and I've been thinking a lot for the past few weeks. If you say no, I'll respect your privacy and opinion, I won't bother you anymore. But if your answer is yes-" He took her hand between his larger ones in a show of passionate feeling. "Then I swear I'll give my everything into making this work."
She contemplated his speech, throwing around thoughts in her head. She had to react fast, or he might take it as a refusal. His tone was so warm, coupled with his endearing manner, she thought that it would take a truly cold woman to turn him away. He was comparable to a large teddy bear, adorable and huggable, and always there right when you need him. He never ran off with other women, or played confusing mind games with her...
She could imagine a future with him, kids possibly, but most importantly, she relished the idea of having someone to come home to night after night.
David was the total polar opposite of the man she was so angry with. He had a thick head of straw like blonde hair, and a open face that was rarely as guarded as 007's. He was slightly chubby with strong underlying muscles while his belly looked as though it would never be capable of toning up. In contrast to James's chiseled face, suave hair, and muscular physique, she found him pleasing to the eye. Not exactly the 'oh God, rip your clothes off' feeling that James could invoke, with David, it was more a 'I'll wake up early on Sunday mornings and make you breakfast in bed' kind of look that made her heart flutter.
"Okay. I'd like that a lot, Dave. Let's not rush things, take it slow," She murmured, recognizing a flutter of joy in his warm amber eyes. "But if I ever catch you rifling through my things again, I swear to God that I wi-" Her words were lost as he enveloped her in a kiss. She melted into his embrace with ease, once again familiarizing herself with his taste. He was mildly sweet, tinged with a hint of peppermint, probably from an Altoid he consumed before arriving at her place. She felt vaguely exasperated when she realized he had intended to kiss her all along.
He released her from their kiss but kept his arms wrapped around her waist. She smiled at him with grace, she truly did like this man, but a tiny part of her subconcious knew that he could never be what she wanted.
And just what the hell do you want anyway, you stupid wretch! You never did appreciate a good opportunity when it comes to you. It's not as if you have a queue of men lining up at your door...
She mercilessly quelled that voice in her head. She tuned it out, then wondered if she was becoming a mild schizophrenic what with her inner psyche constantly screaming at her and all that.
"Shall we go out for dinner? Or I can cook, if you want." Moneypenny asked, lightly stroking his chest with one hand. He shrugged, a gesture that was uniquely and entirely his own.
"I s'pose we could go out. I don't want you to worry about cooking, I just might not survive," He winked. She flushed with annoyance, swatting him gently with the hand that had been on his chest.
"That's the last time you insult my culinary talents, David Jeremiah Hardcastle!"
He cringed. "I hate my middle name."
She glowered in triumph. "Of course you do. Now can we get a move on? I'm starving."
"It's this side of you I miss the most, Janey." He was sincere, she realized with a jolt. After another brief kiss, she grabbed her coat and purse and followed him out her front door.
That was probably the easiest you've ever made up with a man. She noted wryly. She couldn't stifle the bubble of hope that welled up in her heart.
When she got up the next morning, she was faintly surprised to find a heavy arm draped over her waist, and a tousle haired man spooned up against her. She grinned with radiance, the past weeks she spent fretting over their spoiled relationship canceled out by the fact that he was here, lying in her bed as if they had never skipped a beat. She slowly slipped of the mattress and onto the floor, bare feet touching the hard wood.
She shivered, her nudity left her exposed to the morning chill. She grabbed her silk bathrobe that was hung on a hook behind her bedroom door and proceeded to the bathroom. Once she was covered, she surveyed her appearance in the large mirror hung on the wall over her sink counter.
She was sporting a bed-head that was frighteningly tangled and snarled, and her skin on her face was slightly reddened, she remembered that she'd slept on her side most of the night and her cheek was caught between her pillow and the sheets. She blanched as she felt rather than saw the preposterously large love mark beneath her jaw. It was a blatantly obvious tinge of red, and it trailed off almost to her neck.
It would take a ton of cover up to hide that. She rolled her eyes, feeling rather like an embarassed teenager. She realized that she might as well have been a naughty school girl again, after last night's fervent night-time events. She had fallen asleep blessedly sated, in the arms of a man she adored and recently won back. Jane ran her hands through her messy hair and went to draw herself a bath. Her tub filled slowly, so she sat on the edge and lazily dragged her fingers back and forth through the rising water.
Loathe as she was to admit it, she found herself thinking of James. She needed to see him, talk to him, the reassure herself that he was indeed alive and home from Korea. She shuddered to think of those horrid eighteen months when he had been jailed there. She absently thought of the time when they sat in his living room and talked over coffee. He didn't say much save for his experiences with the scorpions, but the haunted, hollowed expression on his face had told her all she needed to know.
It was a look she never wanted to see on his face again.
With smug satisfaction, she remembered how it was she that he wanted to comfort him. James Bond was a proud man, and proud men did not go to anybody but the one person they trusted with their lives to confide in. Jane's satisfaction faded when her age-old longing for him surfaced from the depths of her heart. She hated that he could affect her even when she hadn't so much as talked to him in days. It cut her to the quick when she discovered that he had taken Giacinta Johnson to a remote mountain in Korea, where they no doubt shagged each other's brains out.
All because she refused to have drinks with him...
What an arrogant, immature, selfish, stupid, infuriating, insensitive, smooth-talking bastard he had been! She thought viciously. He knew that she'd be the first to read his report, so instead of personally explaining to her what he had been doing while he was missing for a week, he had just put it in his report as if it were no more significant than if he'd leisurely drank a cup of tea while piloting a burning, plummeting air plane to his death.
"Son of a bitch." She whispered to herself. She removed her bathrobe and sunk into the steaming water with a deep sigh. She filled it with jasmine scented bubbles, they served to calm her. The morning light filtered in between the blinds of the small window, casting a slight glow on the burgundy walls of her bathroom. The water soothed her sore muscles, she leaned her head back and rested her arms on either side of the tub. Laying still for a while, Jane sought to compartmentalize her emotions and bring some semblance of order back into the flow of her thoughts.
That was why she was so startled when David opened the door and padded inside with her mobile in his hand. It was ringing loudly, it probably woke him up. She grinned apologetically and took it from him.
"Jane Moneypenny," She said non-commitally as she played with a bubble. David stood beside her, sleepiness still clouding his features. He was dressed only in blue and white striped boxers, bare chested and utterly, utterly adorable. She looked up at him through her lashes and she immediately recognized stirring desire in his eyes.
"Oh. Right now?" It's Saturday, for God's sake. She moaned mentally. Then she realized at a sluggish speed that normally she was the one making these calls to unsuspecting 00 agents.
"Okay. Right. I'll be there in...I'll be there. Thank you," She said before clicking her phone shut. David raised an eyebrow at her uncharacteristic zoned out behavior.
"Jane, you look as though you could sleep through ongoing construction if it were right next to you." He remarked with amusement. She smirked in reply. "And whose fault was it that I wasn't able to get a good night's sleep?"
He went "hmmm..." and she was tempted to splash a little water at him. He knelt down onto the tile and rested his chin on the ledge of the tub.
"Shall I make breakfast for you, or are you going to leave as soon as you're done?"
"I think I'll just have some coffee, darling."
He huffed indignantly and said, "Do you eat like this all the time? No wonder you're so thin, you'll be practically nothing if you carry on like this."
"Hmph, am I too thin for your liking? I didn't hear any complaints about my body last night..." She trailed off seductively. They both laughed at her over exaggeration of a sexy voice, each amazed at this easy camaraderie that had returned to their relationship.
He leaned in to kiss her and was accepted with much welcome. He pulled away with reluctance and rose up, much to her protest.
"You may not be hungry, but I am, and I'm going to have a huge fry-up, provided you have anything in your kitchen worth using." He declared self-indulgently. "And I can't very well keep kissing you while you're in there. Don't you know what it does to a man when he sees his woman so...wet?"
Jane gaped at his double entendre and this time, she did hurl some water at his hurriedly retreating back.
It took her forty five minutes to get to Vauxhall Cross thanks to a horrible long line at Starbucks and equally horrible traffic. She was dressed in slim black trousers and a creme blouse that was trapeze cut. She didn't know what to do with her hair, so she opted to milk the messy bed head look and half curled strands all over her head with a curling iron. She decided she didn't look completely hopeless, so she took off with a quick kiss to David.
She must've looked happier than people were used to, because Charles Robinson stopped to comment on her healthy appearance. She thanked him for the compliment but inside she was snickering, Yes, Charley dear that's what happens after a night of excellent lovemaking and a damned good Frappucino with caramel and a caloric dose of whipped cream. She briskly walked to the lifts and hit the "up" arrow. She waited patiently for the doors to open. When they did, she was gobsmacked to find James standing there, dressed to kill as usual. She fought the urge to back away and take the next lift, but she steeled her wits together and stepped in beside him.
To say that it was the most awkward elevator ride in her life would be an understatement. She could only manage to stutter, "Good morning, James." He was polite enough to reply, but after that, he kept his eyes firmly trained on the doors. She stared at him out of the corner of her eye. The mother hen in her looked him over and noted that he appeared to be well. His face was filled out where it had been gaunt upon his return to Britain. The friend in her was still brooding about his affair with Agent Johnson. However, she refused to say anything at all. If someone was to apologise, it would most certainly be him.
Silence encroached on the atmosphere, both were itching to have it out with the other. James was silently counting in his head until she finally said something.
"You look rested," She admitted quietly, fingering the pockets of her leather satchel. She hoped the bitterness in her tone didn't come across too obviously.
He nodded. "Some downtime was all I needed."
"Tell me, 007," The frosty use of his number riveted his attention, "Was it your normal callous insensitivity that was talking when you mentioned your affair with Johnson, or was that just some bitter attempt to guilt me into sleeping with you?"
This wasn't the Moneypenny he shared office banter with, or the one he came to fancy. Her face was arranged delicately into chilling indifference, usually expressive eyes masked with a hazy anger. She herself was surprised at how cold she could sound but she didn't show it. She wanted to get some retribution, make him feel what she'd been dealing with.
"I- I never-"
She cut him off without hesitation.
"Never what? Never presumed that I'd care enough to be bothered by it? Never thought that anyone would actually turn you down? Well, here's what James, I never thought you'd be so petty to grab the nearest woman and take her to a convenient little hidey hole just because the one you wanted didn't want you in return."
Moneypenny was astounded by how much it actually hurt her, it was as though she were scolding him for cheating on her. She reminded herself that they were hardly a couple, and that her tirade was entirely inappropriate. James just stared at her, trying to find and offer up some kind of feeble excuse and looking every bit the philandering husband.
"Moneypenny, if you want to sort this out like a civilized person, perhaps we may continue this another time. I have to return my watch to Q, and I've neither the strength or patience to deal with you right now."
He sounded weary and resolute all of a sudden. With that, the doors opened, miraculously on cue, and he exited without a word or backwards glance to her. Moneypenny was nearly blind with rage, her infamous temper wrapping its tight hold over her. She'd never before been this angry with him except for when she first met him. She pulled back a fist and punched through the air, seething with contempt. She almost felt sorry for the next person to cross her.
The lift closed and continued on its course, up and away to her office, where she sincerely hoped there was an international emergency that required loads of time and attention so that she might drown herself safely in her work.
As it turned out, there was no pressing international emergency which she so hoped for, only stacks of unsigned documents, files and memos to write. She logged into the system and found that she had several new emails. Some of them were junk, and others were electronic receipts. One subject line caught her sharp eye. It read, 'Vacation, anyone?' She gasped softly when she saw who sent it, it was an old friend from her university days, a woman named Isa Abago that she still kept in touch with. She clicked on it and read it immediately.
Janey! (Or do you prefer to be called Miss Moneypenny all the time now?)
It's been too long since we've last talked, and I'm deeply ashamed at my neglect of answering your letters/emails. I'd like to catch up on old times. Let me explain further...
My uncle recently passed away and left ownership of his hotel to me. Yes, his hotel in Boracay. Yes, it's built quite literally on the beach. And it's all mine, meaning free rooms, free food and endless sun on the beautiful beach...
I know this is impulsive and probably silly, but do you want to come to the Philippines and stay at my hotel for a few weeks? I promise it's COMPLETELY wonderful. Knowing you, you're probably working yourself into a pretzel. I'm sure a few weeks of R & R won't kill you. I attached some pictures of me, the beach and the penthouse suite to this email. Let me know as soon as possible, I'm sure you've got endless connections to handle all the airport stuff.
Much love,
-Isa
She chewed on her lower lip and contemplated her best friend's offer. What the hell was she doing back in the Philippines anyway? Last time she checked, Isa had been living with her husband in Los Angeles. She rolled her eyes. Isa had always been a jet setting woman, she never stayed in one place for more than a month. Her defence was always, "You know me, I'm far too much a Sagittarius to be happy in one place."
Moneypenny opened the attachments and her breath stopped in her throat at the sight of the crystal clear blue water. The sand was white and fine, clean and welcoming. She closed her eyes and imagined tanning on a lounge chair in that setting. She opened them again and saw that Isa was clad in a scant white eyelet coverup with a red bikini underneath. Her skin was dark and smooth, her complexion that of a rich olive color. Her eyes were hidden behind oversized D&G sunglasses, but her mouth was spread in a wide smile that revealed two rows of perfectly straight, white teeth.
Maybe this is what I need. I need to escape this city...And maybe I'll look like that after.
She studied her friend's obvious elation, envying the easy glamour that she seemed to emit. Her easy-going, light mannered stance leapt out at her from the monitor, and it was then that she knew she was desperately over due for a vacation. Moneypenny began to compose a reply as her fingers hovered over her keyboard.
Isa darling, I trust my subject line is rather self-explanitory. I'd bloody love to join you in Boracay, if the offer is sincere. You're right as usual, I've been working myself into the ground and I've had so many boyfriend issues. I think I need to bake in the sun, go shopping and get completely pissed, who better to do it with than you? I'll get my passport and things in order, it may take me a couple weeks, but I'd like to be there by the end of this month. Save me a spot on the beach, love!
Hugs,
Jane
p.s. Please don't call me "Janey." Only my father called me that, when I was very young, I've no liking for the silly nickname anymore.
p.p.s. As you can see by the stiffness and cranky tone of my previous line, you can tell that I definitely need to get out of Britain.
Pushing images of the Tropics to the back of her mind, Moneypenny set all her focus onto her work. She grabbed the first paper on the top of her inbox stack.
She vowed to ask M to grant her leave as soon as she was available.
Not too long after, Moneypenny's buzzer went off and M spoke.
"Moneypenny, I need you to make copies of the budget proposal and send them to all the departments. Consult with Bill first, I want him to check it over before I go to Downing St. for lunch with the PM." Her clipped voice was devoid of any emotion as usual, and Moneypenny could just picture her trade mark stony expression as she told her what to do. She hit the reply button and said, "Right away, boss."
She stood, habitually smoothing her blouse before heading towards the entrance of M's office. She went in without knocking, since she was one of the only people who could get away with intruding on her boss.
"M?" She asked tentatively, trying to discern if the older woman was in the right mood to accept a request for a holiday.
"What is it, Moneypenny?" She hadn't looked up from her paperwork, making it difficult for Jane to tell what kind of mood she was in. Her voice was soft and flat, in her usual unemotional, brisk tone.
"Erm, would it be alright if I asked you for some leave?"
She figured she should just throw the question out there and see what happened.
M finally looked up at her and narrowed her sharp eyes in the slightest bit. She wore a mask of cool indifference, a mask that slowly disappeared when she eyed her personal assistant. Surprisingly, Moneypenny didn't find herself on the wrong end of a verbal bashing.
"Leave? Jane, you never ask for leave," M admonished. She appeared convinced that Moneypenny was some kind of superhuman freak that could run solely on cigarettes and caffeine.
"Well, I know that, but I think I've been spreading myself too thin recently. I would like a chance to rest." The last part of her sentence was spoken with honest desperation.
"How long do you require?"
"About two weeks?" Moneypenny asked hopefully.
After what seemed to be an eternity, M nodded curtly. "Granted. Where do you plan on going?"
"The Philippines. Boracay Island to be exact, I'll be catching up with an old friend."
M nodded again. "I trust I don't have to remind you to notify their government about your impending presence?"
Moneypenny repressed a smile at the irony of the older woman's statement. "Of course, M. Thank you."
Before she could completely exit the office, she heard M faintly say, "Running away from one's problems can be therapeutic at best, but when you get back, they'll still be here."
She glanced over her shoulder. M was now standing by the window with her back towards her, but she could almost picture the wistful expression on her face.
As Jane closed the door and settled back into her station, she could not find the strength to contain her excitement and happiness that she did indeed have two weeks to herself in a beautiful, tropical country. She could escape from all that was screwed up in her life, if only for a limited time. But who cares? A little time was better than none at all! She found that she was nearly delirious.
God, do I even have any good bikinis left? Worse, do I still have a body worthy of wearing one?
She laughed to herself at the thought.
TBC...
A/N: FINALLY, huh? So, it seems our Pen has to choose between two men, Mr. Hot or Mr. Safe...LOL, it took me forever to rearrange my timeline. There's plenty more where this came from, so don't give up on me yet! Please review. )