Created December 2013 - I don't own these characters or the words made famous by the TV show, Bones. Love them anyway. All the rest that follows is my feeble attempt to keep time in between broadcasts and Razztaztic, Threesquares, and Covalent Bond postings.
A/N: 1/3/2014 - Canoli! Am I late with this! I apologize - I am waaaay behind schedule. Let's just say there was a situation with an oven, a hot pan, and perhaps some singed fingers. The fingers are healing nicely (finally), and I've graduated from mouse clicking and one finger typing back to using both hands! Hope your new year required less salve! Barring any further kitchen situations, I want to wrap this baby up by tomorrow night.
HNY to you all! Hope this year brings another year of fantastic reads from the Bones Community. Thanks to so many of you who helped me get through a pretty odd 2013. Cheers in particular to DG Schneider, who kept me company while I nerded out in an effort to repair the FF site. Outcome: the site is hopeless. I guess this is what NY Giants fans feel like right about now (too soon :) ?)
"Temperance, your dress is beautiful" exclaimed Padme. "You both look really happy. And so gorgeous!" She marveled as she scanned through the e-album of wedding photos on Seeley's rarely used tablet.
"Yes! I can say without exaggeration, it was the happiest day of my life." Brennan beamed as she shifted a cranky, anxious Christine on her lap.
Brennan caught her husband by surprise with this comment. Interrupting his own conversation in the kitchen with this brother, he butted in "Really? Even more than the day Christine was born?" Booth challenged.
Brennan looked at him in disbelieving askance. "The day that an eight pound infant and several uncontrollable bodily fluids passed through my uterus, cervix and vagina? Seriously?" she challenged, adding in a little Roxie inflection.
Padme giggled. Booth looked sheepishly first at Jared, then Padme before responding "Yeah, but the result was Christine, Bones. She's the best thing in your life. You tell me that all the time."
Brennan frowned. "Yes, she is, and I can understand if your delivery of her was the happiest day of your life Booth. But I prefer our wedding day, where both of our children were present, and the only human that traveled through my body was you." She smirked, taking advantage of her husband's prudery.
Their guests laughed while Booth hung his head. "Bones! No talkie about nookie in front of Christine!" he hissed.
The precarious child honed in on her Dada's unwitting cue. "Nookie talkie!" she blurted. "Nookie! Nookie! Nookie!" she sang.
Brennan saw Christine's distracted tune as an opportunity to place her in between herself and her Aunt Padme on the sofa, to no avail. Almost immediately, Christine's body asserted boneless defiance, resisting all seating options, save her mother's lap.
The arrival of the two new house guests had made Christine unusually shy, and both parents had spent the last hour volleying their clingy daughter between them. Her bashfulness was definitely beginning to thaw, as Padme's bracelet had caught Christine's eye. While her mother and aunt discussed the wedding photos, the curious toddler – genetically equipped with her father's stealth gene – began to slowly inch across Mommy's torso toward the fascinating artifact.
Padme tapped on a video of what was obviously the couple's first dance. She smiled as she watched the adorable couple begin to sway, seemingly unaware of the admiring eyes surrounding them. "John Legend, right?" she questioned. "I love this song, Temperance!"
Brennan looked up at her husband, who was leaning against the kitchen counter, symmetrically opposite his brother. The song 'All of Me' had become a Pavlovian sex trigger for the newest Mr. and Mrs. Booth, most recently serving as the ignition to an unexpected and erotic lovemaking session in front of the Christmas tree the night prior. Brennan caught Booth's eye with a winsome smile. His corresponding grin sent a wave of turbulent, commemorative aches throughout her body.
"Mmmmm-hmmm" she replied uncharacteristically (it was a rare instance that Brennan used a sound instead of a word in front of anyone except her husband). "Booth and I had the opportunity to meet him after a concert at the Verizon Center a few weeks before we got married. He is very talented and pleasant, and a fan of my novels. He was nice enough to prepare a special recording for our reception in exchange for an advanced copy of Bones of the Lost." She bit her lip, frustrated to be so far Booth at this exact moment. "Booth says the lyrics of song resonate with how he feels about me." she blushed.
Jared smiled at his brother before turning to his sister-in-law. "Temperance, that's amazing!"
Padme piggy-backed "Definitely! When we had last spoken, I think you were you had narrowed it down to 'At Last' and 'Fly Me to the Moon', but having a Grammy-winning artist perform a special recording for you. That's...wow!
"Yes. And it definitely eliminated the controversy of disappointing anyone. Everyone had an opinion on what our first song should be. Marianne suggested 'Someone to Watch Over Me', Dad suggested the theme to 'Love Story', Hodgins had suggested "Let's Get It On", but I believe that he was being facetious" she chortled before she continued.
"But Booth insisted that this is one of those things that is ours. It had to be our mutual decision, and although Foreigner's 'Hot Blooded' is what we agree is our song, it is not thematically fitting with the expected tradition of a "first dance" song. As you know, it was our intention to use one of The Standards from what is known the Great American Songbook. Before the wedding, we spent a significant number evenings listening, dancing and evaluating the catalog." she laughed, recalling walking through the door each night and being swept into the arms of her fiancé and daughter bopping to Cole Porter, Duke Ellington, the Gershwin Brothers and more. "It was fun."
"Really Seeley?" Jared asked teasingly, pushing himself up from the kitchen island. "I know that you're old school, but I just knew that you were sold on 'Anything Anything' by Dramarama."
"Huh, huh, huh. You got jokes, hmm?" Booth quipped. Both Booth boys mirrored each other with a swig of their water bottles. Brennan and Padme shared a knowing glance of mirth.
It was at this point that Christine had become almost perpendicular to Brennan's torso as she grabbed for the bracelet on Padme's right wrist. Brennan cautioned her child "Christine, please do not sink your incisors into Aunt Padme!" To Padme, she explained, "Christine's second molars are beginning to break through. I'm certain that she'll attempt to soothe her discomfort with your bracelet" she frowned.
Padme giggled, gesturing to Brennan that Christine was fine. Brennan finally eased Christine onto the sofa beside Padme successfully. Christine multitasked between plucking, attempting to gnaw on Padme's wrist and watching her parent's dance video.
Returning her gaze up to her husband, Brennan continued "I don't remember 'Anything Anything', Booth. Was it one that we considered?"
Jared chuckled while Booth glared at his brother. "Nah, Bones. Jared's talking about something that happened back in high school –"
Excitedly, Jared cut him off. "Seeley was obsessed with this hot girl, Sherai Bellapini" he started. "She was a senior, he was a junior. He thought she was the one. Even though they didn't start dating until years after, Pops and Grandma went to high school together, and Seeley thought that he had found the girl he was meant to be with forever. But she just turned out to be the first one who ripped his heart to pieces!"
"Awww." Padme interjected, looking sympathetically at her brother in law.
Brennan's interest was piqued. "What happened?"
Jared was thrilled that his brother had yet to share this story with his girl. But then again, why would he? "Like I said, he was crazy about her and he would do the stupidest things to get her attention. He sang to her in the cafeteria, staked out her classrooms to walk her to the next class, had her initials buzz cut into his hair..."
"What?" Brennan huffed. "Hank let you do that?"
Booth shrugged his shoulders. "They were the same as mine. Pops just thought I was being cocky."
"Yeah, but told everyone else it was for Sherai!" Jared continued, placing a sympathetic hand on his brother's shoulder. "Mowed her dad's lawn shirtless, washed her Iroc Z on a weekly basis-"
"An Iroc Z?" Padme choked out a laugh.
"Oh man, Seeley guidoed out for this girl. Club music, hair gel, Cavaricci jeans, gold chains, Drakkar Noir…." Jared laughed.
Brennan assumed that Drakkar Noir was a Stars Wars character that Parker had yet to introduce to her, so she resolved to Google it later. With a scolding glare at her husband, she protested "You told me that 'guido' was an offensive term!"
Preoccupied with how she would receive the rest of the story, Booth simply raised his hands in defeat.
"Oh yeah, Seeley's guido days were offensive!" Jared cackled.
"Was, Jared!" He defended, walking toward the leather slipper chair. "I went through a bit of a guido period back then." Booth confessed weakly as he plopped down. Brennan smiled, realizing the origins of Tony Scallion were borne out of a lovesick sixteen year old Seeley Booth. "But I grew out of it, it was just a phase…"
"Sherai Bellapini! Was she the loudspeaker girl?" Brennan remembered. "The one you took to the junior prom?"
Booth hesitated.
"Yup!" Jared confirmed, joining everyone in the living room. "Sherai went with Seeley to his prom. And, did he tell you that she was the young lady who deflowered my big brother, here?" he slapped Seeley's back, and stood behind him, slightly afraid to sit for fear that his brother would lose his cool and pummel him.
Brennan's eyes sparkled with curious interest. "No, he did not" she chuckled. Booth sighed.
"Well, after the prom, Seeley and a bunch of his friends and their dates drove to Atlantic City for the weekend. Now mind you, Seeley was a good Catholic boy, planning to keep himself pure for marriage. But he just knew that Sherai was The One. He had saved up a grip of money, he had this whole big romantic weekend planned with Sherai. He would get her to fall fully in love with him and if cherry popping was on the menu, he wouldn't refuse dessert."
"Clever." Booth scowled. "You should write greeting cards."
"Well" Brennan defended "the swath of pheromones and the overproduction of dopamine at that age does lead to irrational thinking. But I've seen photos of Booth as a teenager. Non-guido photos of course, but he has always been very handsome."
"Thanks Bones!" Booth recovered.
"Just stating a fact." she asserted "It would stand to reason that Sherai would be amenable to Booth's romantic intentions..."
"Hmmmph! All she really wanted was a ride." snorted Jared.
Unclear as to his meaning, Brennan inquired, "Are you referring idiomatically to losing one's virginity?"
Jared finally sat down to the left of his wife. "No, she really just wanted a ride – to AC! Seeley didn't know it at the time, but Sherai had a boyfriend. He was in the National Guard and was stationed at Fort Dix in New Jersey. The two of them had arranged to meet up with each other in Atlantic City. Unbeknownst to Seeley, he was her ride." He smirked.
"Unbeknownst? Really? Even Bones wouldn't say something like that…"
All eyes turned to Brennan (including Christine's). Brennan shrugged her shoulders. "I'd have to agree. I would have said 'Seeley was unaware' or even more accurately, were it actually me saying it, I'd say 'Booth was unaware…'"
Jared sat back, placing his arm around Padme. "Ehh, he's trying to deflect from the topic at hand." He teased. "So they get to AC and Seeley springs this whole romantic play on her. Sherai took pity on him. She thought Seeley was sweet and cute, and she felt a little guilty. So she 'Sheraied' him a little "Bellepini!"
Brennan and Padme turned, mouths agape at Booth, who was focused at ripping up and curling the wrapper of his water bottle around his finger. Neither could imagine a scenario of any female having sympathy sex with Seeley Booth.
Brennan considered the implications of the story: Booth's unlucky romantic history with women had begun with an obviously careless girl.
And he had never disclosed this to her. After reading Sweets' books and recognizing the similarities in her own behavior, she grasped that Booth had only shared elements of his formative past in an effort to impress her. He had been afraid to be anything but the alpha in her eyes.
But now that they were together – a family – hearing this story of one of his failures was not off-putting, but rather endearing to Brennan.
"Poor dude fell asleep and woke up to an empty hotel room, and a note!"
"How do you know all this?" Booth probed.
"Karen Issely." Jared offered. "She was going with Mike Pucci at the time." Seeley shook his head, recognizing the context of the source. Mike and Karen had helped a very drunk Seeley back to his room that night.
"The girl who stole your clothes under the bleachers!" Brennan recognized.
Padme looked at her husband. "I thought that Karen dated you…" both Jared and Booth nodded confirming Padme's assumption.
Booth leaned forward. It was his turn to tease. "Yeah, well I was too much Booth for her." He bragged. Jared shook his head at his big brother.
"You're insinuating that you are more endowed than Jared." Brennan observed.
"Well." Booth shifted, turning towards his wife. "Aren't I?"
Brennan's top lip curled nervously as she surveyed the questioning faces awaiting her response. Her lightning fast brain had processed all potential outcomes. "Logic tells me that there is no socially acceptable response to that question." She reasoned. "Except to say that my romp with your brother never proceeded past third down, and that we were both too inebriated to recollect accurate recounts."
The room laughed at Brennan's clever dodge.
"Nicely done, Temperance. But, it's third base, not third down. " Padme offered.
Brennan nodded. "I accept your correction, given your authority on sexual matters."
"Don't worry, Tempe. He knows he's smaller." Jared teased.
"What I do know is that my partner said my name while hooking up with you!" Seeley bested.
"Nuh-uh! She said 'Booth', which the last time I checked, was my last name too."
"But you know that she meant me. She's always called you 'Jared'"
"I've got no facts to support that and Tempe's never admitted that she meant you – "
All eyes turned to Brennan. Given her husband's non-resistance to circumventing his embarrassing virginity story, could she be as vulnerable?
"Oh yeah, than why didn't you guys have a second date?"
"Because you got her shot. Then you got yourself kidnapped and me fired."
"Bones…" Booth whined, imploring her to put Jared out of his misery.
Brennan looked at Padme, who shrugged her shoulders at her sister in law. She began "I suppose you both could expose your penises. Padme and I can take measurements..."
"Bones!" Booth snapped, shocked at Brennan's suggestion.
"See! I wouldn't mind the 'weigh in'... but Seeley obviously has his concerns." Jared snickered.
"What if I measured Seeley and Temperance measured you?" Padme challenged. Booth choked at his sister in law's proposal, but than began to laugh, realizing that she too was tired of Jared's teasing.
Jared frowned at the thought of his wife touching his brother in anyway other than filial. He finally retreated. "Okay. Okay! I get it. Too far!" he admitted. Booth reached over to fist-bump his sister in law.
Jared chose to continue with the Bellipini Tale. "Anyway. Seeley? Sherai? AC? He cut off his luscious curly locks in the hotel bathroom, swore off the guido lifestyle, and spent the rest of the weekend drinking and gambling - popping his cherry on both of those fronts, too. And this song - 'Anything Anything' - about some dude desperate to get a girl to marry him - he just played it over and over and over again. He was obsessed." Jared eyed his brother carefully. Both knew all too well about their Dad's obsessive extremes with their mother. Booth watched a look of admiration dawn Jared's face.
Jared cleared his throat. "But Seeley didn't get go all stalker on her or anything. After all, he's a good guy. Blew all of his money away at the craps table, and STILL drove Sherai home at the end of the weekend! He stewed for a while...a long while - months! He finally got over her when he realized that he could have any girl that he wanted." He boasted proudly. "And he pretty much did!" Jared gestured a toasting motion toward his wincing brother. "That next year, Sherai's boyfriend had moved on to the next one so she started sniffing around Seeley again. Seeley was Mr. Big Man on Campus and wouldn't give her the time of day."
Brennan studied her spouse. Booth fidgeted, worried that his wife would make a comparison to their triangle with Hannah. But that was not the case.
"Was this the start of your degenerate gambling habit?"
Yes it was. "Bones…" he started weakly.
"Did you pursue a career in the Army thinking that you would improve your romantic chances with Sherai?"
"What!? No! Bones, I didn't go into the Army until years later…"
"Yes but you're very competitive, Booth. I can imagine that it would not sit well with you to feel bested by another boy. You're an alpha male, after all."
Before Booth could respond, Padme interjected. "What I want to know is, you must have been sixteen or seventeen when this happened. They let you gamble?"
Booth grinned "Well, I had a lady friend at the DMV who faked an ID for me…"
Brennan gasped. "Booth! That's illegal!"
He frowned at his wife "Uh, I know that you had a fake ID at sixteen too, Miss Proper Pants!"
Padme and Jared watched the interplay between the couple with amusement. Brennan eyed her guests as she responded to her husband. "Yes, but that was just to become a waitress!" To her in-laws, she explained "I was in foster care. I worked at a bar several nights a week in order to raise money for housing. As soon as I was able, I hired an actor to perform the role of my grandfather in order for me to be emancipated from the system before I was eighteen."
"Really?" Jared was surprised. He was not aware of Temperance's childhood.
"Tistine! Me, Mommy! Me!" the little girl called out. Padme and Jared looked down at the video of there brother and sister in law dancing their first dance as husband and wife. About halfway through the song, the impatient little girl had wriggled out of her Grandpa Max's lap and darted (waddled, really) toward her parents on the dance floor. "Tistine dansuh!" she squealed excitedly, clapping her hands.
"Awww! How sweet! Padme exclaimed, stroking her niece's head. Christine looked up at her pretty aunt and the man who looked like her Dada. She looked back at her mother for courage before she climbed over Padme's lap, scaling Aunt Padme like an expert hillwalker. She inserted herself between Jared and Padme, again studying her Uncle Jared's features. Looking at Jared, she pointed to her father, informing him that Seeley was "Dada. Boof. My Dada."
For a while, the foursome – the felonious foster child, the sniper, the alcoholic and the call girl - lost themselves in the innocence of the precious little girl.
Jared stared at the Christmas tree with a smile. He had never expected to spend another Christmas with his brother again. But here he now was, in his brother's home. His brother's family's home - for what he hoped was a foreshadowing of decades of family holidays. Now that his first year as a security consultant was complete, he looked forward to more steady state, less stealth, assignments.
He hoped that he and Padme would soon be contributing more pretty babies to the Booth family gene pool. He leaned down for a closer look at the presents, intrigued by one specific gift.
Booth walked into the room, chortling as he recalled his baby brother's habit of "gift whispering" when he thought no one was looking. He cleared his throat, stirring Jared from his stealth operation. Jared stood red-handed and red-faced, still with the gift in his hand.
"Some things never change, huh?" Booth smirked. His brother returned the same grin back at him. Staring at each other for a moment, Booth then continued. "I uh, just got off the phone with Pops. He'll be ready to be picked up at 3:00 tomorrow. Says he has a few lady friends to spread some holiday cheer to before he's ready to do the family thing!"
Jared laughed. "How depressing is it that the most charming Booth is 87?"
"Ehhh, I think we both have done just fine. Broken a few hearts in our time" Booth commented. "Plus, I think Parker's smoother than all of us."
"Heh!" Jared smiled, still examining the gift in his hand.
"Bones says that she's scheduled a spa day with Cam, her friend Angela and Padme tomorrow, so it will be just us to go get Pops." Booth watched his brother for a reaction. It had been a long time since they had spent an extended period of time together on their own.
"I'd like that." Jared admitted. "It's been too long."
"Yeah." Seeley looked down at his shoes. "I'm glad you're here Jared. It means a lot."
"To me too, Seel." he grinned. "And we're - I'm happy for you and Temperance. You guys are perfect together. Took you long enough." he teased.
Booth smiled. "Yeah, it did. Worth every minute too. Hey, you know what? Padme's something else too. I like her. And she's good for you too."
"Keeps me grounded." Jared bragged. "Wouldn't have the foundation that I've built without her. We're both pretty lucky, you know?"
"Yeah." Booth stared reverently at his brother. "We are."
A beat of silence passed between the grinning brothers. But Booth, never one to wallow in emotional moments with men, began "...lucky if-" he raised his voice "we can get out of this house any time today!" he clapped his hands together, turning toward the stairs. "Let's go ladies! Let's get this holiday show on the road! Chop! Chop!"
While Booth and Jared had gotten dressed in the Man Cave, Brennan, Christine and Padme had all gone to the master bedroom to get dressed for the Jeffersonian holiday party. Brennan called out to her husband. "We'll be down momentarily, Booth! Cool your jets!" she barked.
Both men stared at each other, surprised at Brennan's correct use of a colloquialism. "She's learning" Jared offered.
"Yes, she is..." Booth smiled at his brother, walking up to him to snatch the gift out of his hand. "What's the deal with this gift? Huh? Trying to switch tags again?"
Jared huffed. "Naw, I was just looking at the gift wrapping. It's from Mom, right?"
Booth eyed his brother before placing the gift back under the tree. "Uh yeah." he straightened up, adjusting his suit jacket.
Jared knotted his forehead. "Yup. I got the same sized gift from her under my tree too." he put his hands on his hips. "Same wrapping too."
"Yeah?" Seeley grinned.
"Yup?" Jared laughed.
"Some things never change."
This chapter is dedicated to my three brothers, who regardless of personality, interest or need, always seemed to get the same gift each Xmas. :)