A/N: Standard disclaimer applies.

I am truly sorry for the forever late updates. Please forgive me.

Thanks to my betareader: girlfromthesidelines

"We used to be a family, Sakura"

"Why are you putting us through this?"

"What did we ever do to you?"

I looked at them, hatred and anger clouding my gaze. "We never were a family, Naruto. You made that clear to me the moment you and Sasuke walked out of my life…forever." Their faces were filled with shock and hurt.

"I am of no importance to the two of, right? You walked out of these gates without a second thought of how I would feel when I woke up the next day to find my bestfriends gone. I felt betrayed and unloved."

"We are truly sorry for the way we have acted towards you, Sakura."

"Being sorry now doesn't change the past or anything for that matter, Sasuke." I looked towards the forest horizon. "Just like you left me out of your lives for the past 3 years, I am now walking out of yours."

Goodbye.

CHAPTER TWO: Coming to terms with the truth

"Family means home, but we were never a family

only acquaintances seeking a home."

Somewhere inside of me I wanted to welcome those two with open arms and tackle them to the ground until they could no longer breathe. But the moment I saw their faces, all the pain and anguish of the last three years surfaced and became an ugly monster.

It would be totally unfair of me to give in to this feeling of longing I had for them. I have suffered enough at their hands. Why should I care about them when they never felt the same way about me? That would be like pouring salt on an open wound.

"Just like Tsunade-sama , I have decided to allow Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto permission to enter Leaf Country." I said finally.

Naruto cheered and howled.

Sasuke smirked, like he was already expecting it from the start.

But I'm not done yet, bastard.

"However, they are tasked to serve the Hokage's apprentice for the next 12 months or until he/she decides that the punishment has been completed. Therefore, the Hokage's apprentice will be solely responsible for the actions, decisions and other matters regarding Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto." I lifted my gaze and smirked at them.

"WHAT?" They both said in unison. "I am not accepting that decision! That is not just."

Tsunade-sama, rubbed her temple. "Yes it is. As the hokage's apprentice, Ms. Sakura Haruno is entitled to make decisions, together with the Hokage, regarding the welfare of this country. She is of equal rank to any members of the ANBU, my court and its advisers and also she is of equal importance and rank to the ANBU Black Ops and its Captains."

They stared at the Hokage like she was speaking a different language.

Tsch. Stupid, much?

Sigh. "What it means is that, your beautiful teammate over there is considered next in command to Tsunade. She can make decisions that normally ANBU Black Ops Captains or other high-ranking officials are otherwise tasked to do." Orochimaru explained. "Got it?"

They nodded.

"Good."

Jiraiya gave out an audible sigh. "Now that we have been reacquainted, can we cut the chit chat and get something to eat?" He rubbed his stomach. "I am truly starving and I have been craving ramen for so long."

"YES! RAMEN!" Naruto cheered. "Let's go."

"Hn."

"Sssssure."

"I'll have the ANBU escort you to avoid any commotion among the townspeople."

I looked at all five of them. Smiling sadly to myself, they look so happy. Just like a long lost family who has been reunited. But where do I fit in to all of these? I may be the Hokage's apprentice but that doesn't erase the pain of the past.

It never will go away…

This stabbing pain in my chest…

Everytime I see my brother and bestfriend smile; his cheesy grin…

And whenever the love of my life smirks, his infamous, handsome smirk…

Where does this all leave me?

I know I want to run back to them…

Run back to the old Sakura…

to their old Sakura…

But I just can't.

Its far too late.

I'm sorry.

"Are you coming, Sakura-chan?" Orochimaru asked me. "It'll be my treat."

I smiled. He can be a sweet guy, if you take out that mischievous smile and forked tongue. "I'd love to join you, Orochimaru-san but I think I have to take a rain check on the ramen. Sorry."

"Aw. That's too bad." He pouted. "Maybe next time, then?"

"Sure." I faked a smile and then disappeared. "Goodbye for now."

I ran and ran for God knows how long. I ran until I felt my lungs scream profanities at me and until that moment when I stopped I realized there were tears in my eyes.

I scowled at myself for my weakness.

God, how I hated that word, but it was the truth.

Seeing them now…NOW after everything made me so so SO VERY WEAK.

I was weak….weak….

they were right…

all along…

all this time…

I was weak.

I am weak.

I will always be weak.

Weak.

Weak.

Weak!

Weak for THEM.

After all this time, how can one meeting destroy everything that I have worked for? I had always thought I was already strong enough to forget…

Forget?

Who was I kidding?

No one.

Except yourself.

I sobbed. Gigantic tremors went through my body as terrible tears escaped me and blurred my vision. Somewhere inside of me I laughed. Funny, isn't it? I am crying outside but on the inside I laugh. What a weirdo. Its so ironic and stupid how two people can repeatedly break my heart into a million pieces without even knowing it.

They did things for themselves; for their own happiness, for their own fulfillment, for their own satisfaction, thinking that nothing was wrong. I wanted to scream at them! Tell them that "Hey, can you turn around and look at me for just a sec and realize that you're hurting me already?" but I was always too much of a coward to even try.

After all, I forced myself to believe that I was okay.

Everything was okay.

Though, I knew deep in my heart it wasn't.

I was the only one to blame for this.

If I had only said something then…

maybe…

things would've been different.

"Are you alright?"

I whipped my head around and a smile found my way tear-stained face. "Kakashi-sensei."

"Now, now, Sakura" he reprimanded "I told you numerous times that you shouldn't call me 'sensei' anymore. It isn't required nor needed anymore."

"I apologize, Kakashi-sens…" I blushed. "Its like reflex, you know? I'm so used to it already."

He chuckled. "I understand what you mean. Sometimes I have this sudden urge to pat your head or pinch your cheek."

Now it was my turn to laugh. "Nostalgic, ain't it?"

"Very. But back to look on your face, tell me what's wrong, Sakura."

I looked down at my sandals. Suddenly, they seemed so interesting to me. I knew I couldn't hide anything from Kakashi. He's pretty much known me all my life. He was my sensei first then became my teammate then my sensei again then my friend and comrade and finally he became my father figure.

~*Flashback*~

Kakashi and I were on a mission together; an assassination kind. It was my first one and although I had convinced everyone that I was ready I think Kakashi-sensei saw through me.

The night before the mission while we were setting up camp he suddenly blurted out "Sakura, I don't think you're ready for this kind of mission."

I was too shocked to give a reply and I think he took it as a bad thing, my silence.

"Don't get me wrong Sakura. I don't mean it as though you're not strong enough or that you don't have the skills to do it cause heaven only knows that you do…." He was babbling and this was the first time I've seen him like this. "But as your sensei I really don't want anything bad happening to you but what I mean is that you don't really have to go through with it I could always…."

I suddenly found myself hugging Kakashi-sensei so tight I think I knocked some air out of him. "Thank you, sensei, for always looking out for me."

He hugged me back and then said one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. "I didn't mean to act this way and I apologize. Its just that it felt like I was giving…"

"What is it Kakashi-sensei?" I pushed on.

"Like giving away my daughter off to be married." He finished and then continued on. "You're the only girl student I've ever had Sakura and I still see that 12 year old girl in you sometimes and it scares me to think that she's finally grown up into my comrade and not my student anymore. I still feel protective of you, you especially being the girl that you are, and like any father I don't want you to go through this if you're not ready."

After his speech, I found myself smiling. It was so heartwarming to hear someone ,apart from my family, say that to me. "Thank you…dad"

~*End of flashback*~

"Dad, they're back." I whispered yet I knew he heard me.

Before I knew it the tears started falling again and I was sobbing on Kakashi's chest. "Oh, Sakura." He held on to me tighter. Suddenly, remembering all the things I went through…we went through.

It wasn't fair!

How can they be so happy and eating ramen, for heaven's sake, when all I can do is cry, cry and cry?

The funny thing was: they didn't even know it because I made them believe that we were alright.

"Its gonna be okay, Sakura." How I wish for those words to be true. "You'll see, the four of us we'll be okay soon." He patted by head and held my chin so that I could look at his eye.

And looking into the eye of a man I trusted my whole being to, suddenly made it seem like, YES I am strong enough. We were going to be just fine, Kakashi-sensei and I.

"Yeah, we will be." I smiled up at him.

"Now be a good girl and let's head over to Ichiraku and let the Snake-sannin treat us to some ramen."

When Kakashi-sensei and I reached the ramen stand it looked like a scene straight out of my memories. Sasuke was scowling while Naruto slurped bowl after bowl of ramen. Orochimaru looked stricken at the amount he was going to pay, Jiraiya and Tsunade laughed at their teammates expression.

The scene before us made it seem as though they had never left and it pained me to see them welcomed back with open arms. I knew I should've never come but I did and it was for Kakashi-sensei. He'd want me to be here with him and so here we are.

"Glad to see that my two students are back."

Sasuke and Naruto immediately looked up from their food at the sound of sensei's voice. Naruto's eyes grew large and even Sasuke was a little bit surprised.

"Kakashi-sensei!" they both said.

Kakashi ruffled both their hair and took a seat beside Sasuke. "Nice to see the both of you."

I took that as my cue and sat down beside Kakashi and silently began eating the ramen that was set in front of me.

"Oh look, Sssssakura hass decided to join us." Orochimaru said.

"Hai. Kakashi-sensei wanted me to come along and so I did." I smiled. "I hope that's alright, Orochimaru-sama."

"Of coursssssse it isssss."

And that was that. For anyone who was passing by it looked as if nothing had changed. Team 7 was back together and so were the Three Legendary Saninn. No one would care to think that underneath the smiles and jokes and the playful jabs lay torn bonds and friendships, countless tears and pain and anger.

Walking home from our little get together at Ichiraku, I felt as though I've been slapped in the face. A painful truth was finally staring me in the face and there was no backing down. I couldn't pretend anymore that I was okay while in truth I wasn't. No more fake smiles when all I really wanted to do was cry and cry. No more lying, no more faking. They're back and I couldn't change anything.

Sooner or later they were going to see beyond my façade and realize that I had been lying all along. I knew that Sasuke and Naruto knew me better than anyone else. Every quirk and habit, they knew and no matter how much I hide they were going to figure that out somehow.

Their return is like destiny's way of telling me: It's time to face the truth, Sakura. And Sasuke and Naruto were my truth. Eventually, I would have to come out of this punishment I have given them and tell them exactly what was going on with me. I would definitely run out of excuses for not spending time with them like I used too.

I plopped down on one of the swings in the playground and just sat there. Letting all the things I have just analyzed organize themselves in my head. I felt incoherent and hazy. All my thoughts were being juggled around. I needed to relax and the swings were the perfect solution for it.

"Stupid Naruto and Sasuke!" I told no one in particular. "Why'd they have to come back now and mess everything up? Why couldn't they just continue on with their training and come back when I was dead or something? That would have been less painful than what I'm going through now."

I sighed. "And the sad and most painful thing is, they won't understand because I refuse to let them."

I looked up to the sky and closed my eyes wishing hard that this was all just a dream and nothing more. Or maybe wishing for my heart to just repair itself and heal all the wounds to make me forget. Forget it all and just return to the times when we were happy and the biggest problem we had was how to stop Naruto from overstuffing himself when eating.

I laughed silently to myself as the memories flooded my discombobulated head. "Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto."

"Why in the world are you mumbling our names to no one in particular, Sakura-chan?"

I whipped my head and stared into cerulean orbs. "Naruto!"

"Hi Sakura-chan! Kakashi-sensei told Sasuke-teme and I to make sure you got home safe and sound. Teme and I got worried for a second when you suddenly disappeared only to find you 5 minutes later here."

I panicked. "Sasuke is here?"

"Hn."

I looked over to my other side and saw the love of my life seating on the swing next to me.

There was silence among the three of us for a long time, only the creaking of the swing sets could be heard and the occasional howl of wind. Then, "Ne, Sakura-chan, what did you mean by 'that would have been less painful than what I'm going through now?' You said that out loud earlier but you were talking to no one in particular so..."

I froze and my breathing stopped altogether. "Sakura-chan? What's wrong?"

"N-n-n-nothing." I stood up immediately and started to run away but someone caught my wrist before I could even start running. "Sasuke?"

He yanked me back down on the swing forcefully and pulled me to look him straight in the eye. "Where are you going, Sakura?"

"I realized that it's already late and I have to get going home." I answered.

Sasuke smirked. "Don't play coy with me or Naruto, Sakura." He neared his face towards mine so that we were face to face. "We know you better than that."

"Stop making excuses, Sakura. It's no use, no matter how many lies you sew together, we are just going to see through it."

"So stop pretending, Sakura-chan and start telling us what's going on." Naruto added.

I sighed. "Okay, fine."

"Hn." Sasuke replied as he let go of my wrist.

I inwardly smirked. I didn't know Sasuke could be deceived this easily. I thought he would have seen right through "my-telling-the-truth" scheme. But I guess not, so I took this opportunity and ran before they even had time to blink.

Before they could have registered that I have once again escaped them I would be in my room and my doors would be locked and I would be safe and sound.

"Where do you think you're going, Sakura-chan?" Naruto materialized in front of me, successfully blocking my way.

"Running away again, aren't we?" Sasuke teased as I felt him appear behind me, like he did on the night he left. "And I thought we were past all evasions."

I glowered. "Move out of my way, Naruto!"

Naruto stood his ground. "No, Sakura-chan. Teme's right, you do have to stop running away and start telling us things."

"I'm tired and I want to go home."

"You're a kunoichi, rest and sleep can wait." Sasuke smirked. "Try harder."

"Just let it go, Sasuke." I whispered.

"No." Sasuke replied.

"Please just let it go." I bowed my head down.

Naruto moved closer to me. "We can't Sakura-chan. We just want to know why you're acting so weird."

"I am not acting weird." I answered back.

"Yes you are, Sakura-chan!" He argued back. "It's not like you to keep running away from us. You're so evasive and pretentious. Then you keep spacing out and talking to yourself, it isn't like you at all."

"I am fine, Naruto." I said. "There's no need to worry. I wanna go home."

"We aren't letting you go 'til you say something." Sasuke pushed on.

"Okay, fine! You want to know what's wrong with me?" I screamed at them. "I'll tell you! Since you two have got nothing better to do than pester me, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IN THE EFFING WORLD'S WRONG WITH ME!"

"Sa-sakura-chan." Naruto stuttered. Their faces were of pure shock, their eyes were as wide as saucers and their mouths were agape.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sasuke hollered.

"You." I answered.

TBC

Finally! I am done and have updated. Sorry for the long wait. :( But I hope you enjoy this anyway.

This chapter is dedicated to: tsushiya-sama, ilovemusic11, quoting shakespear , xx-tenshi-xx, writingtitan, ninjasrockyourface, northernlights25, sam-aka-sakuxsasulover, candyluver, innocence and instinct, haliz &&'-naochie03-'. Thank you for patiently waiting.

Reviews are appreciated.