Welcome to Episode 2..Still have nothing to say. R&R, please and thank you!

As usual, this contains foul language and OOCness. Oh, and crack.

Tokyo, Japan

Police Station's Squad Room

November 26th

Officer Kanbara Takuya: See? It's okay. 5 second rule.

Officer Minamoto Kouji: You're a moron!

Takuya: You're the biggest asshole I know!

Lieutenant Makino Ruki: Hey faggots! Stop talking to the camera for five minutes, I've got some bad news.

Takuya: I take back what I said.

Ruki: All the jail cells are being cleaned out.

Kouji: Why, sir?

Ruki: Because nobody has cleaned them in years. It's fucking disgusting! Maybe we should keep a better eye on our convicts..*Slaps Takuya's sucker out of his hand*

Takuya: ...

Tokyo, Japan

Police Station's Squad Room

November 27th

Kouichi: So, back at the station, all of jail cells are being cleaned, thus making arresting a lot more challenging. Challenging because we have no place to actually take them. But I think I've found a way around it.

*"Alright you damn convict! Don't try anything funny!" Kouichi yells at the blind convict across the table from him. Him and Kouichi were at the latter's favorite diner. "Okay, here's your bacon and eggs." Says his waiter cheerfully, making Kouichi put his index finger to his lips. "He thinks he's in a jail cell..It's a long story.."He whispers. The waiter nods her head, before taking her leave, not saying anything else.

Kouichi looks at his watch as he hears familiar footsteps coming towards him, thankful that he can at least hear out of his right ear. "You're late, Takuya..." He watches as the taller boy sat next to the convict, throwing a phone book on the table. "Hey, is 'stripper' spelled with 1 P or 2?"

"Shh!" He points at the man sitting next to Takuya, "he thinks he's in a jail cell.." He says in a hushed voice.

"Ohhh." Takuya nods his head, understanding. "Be quiet in there, convict!"

"Just wait until you meet your cellmate!"

Kouji walks up to them."What the fuck are you guys doing?" Kouji asks. He's the only one wearing his casual clothes. Kouichi and Takuya both quickly shoosh him. "He thinks he's in an actual jail." Takuya whispers, mouth curling into a smile. "Ah," Kouji takes a seat on the right side of Kouichi, putting his bag under the table by his feet.

"Keep it DOWN in there, convict!" Takuya starts again.

"Nobody leaves this jail alive!" Kouichi adds in.

"I'LL COME IN THERE WITH MY GUN, AND BLAST YOUR FUCKING EAR OFF!"

Kouichi looks at Kouji, "Dude. Not cool."

"Sorry...Eh? You've ordered already?"

"Yeah, since both of you two were late..Sorry." Kouichi shrugs, picking up his fork.

"Excuse me, Waitress?" Takuya tries to get the attention of one of the waitresses, but all of them ignored him. He grumbles under his breath, "One would think they would have more respect for us." Kouichi shrugs, "They're nice to me.." He says before taking a bite of his food. Takuya gives him a small glare, "That's because one of the waitress's has a crush on you.." Kouji, not paying any sort of attention to their conversation, turns his attention towards the blind convict. He leans over the table, snapping his fingers in front of his ears out of curiosity. Nothing. He then gently touches the man's arm, and the arm jerked away from him. Kouji only stared before sitting all the way back in his seat.

"I think he's fucking deaf."

"What?" Takuya looks at the man in question.

"He's. Deaf."

"Seriously?" Kouichi asks before snapping his fingers to the side of the man's face. The convict only looked straight ahead, like nothing happened. "Holy shit," Kouichi groans.

"We've been yelling at some blind and deaf druggie for 5 minutes." Kouji facepalms.

"Hey, Kouji? Is 'Stripper' spelled with 1 P or 2?" Takuya asks, opening the phone book that has been sitting on his side of the table up.

"Two P's," Kouji replies while eying Kouichi's food hungrily. "Why?"

"I want to get on Lt. Makino's good side."

"By hiring him a stripper?" Kouji stares in disbelief.

Takuya nods his head proudly, "Good idea, huh?"

"Well, that's one way to get yourself fired." Kouichi says, taking another bite.

"No. It's a way to get me promoted!"

"I don't think it's up to Makino to promote or fire people." Kouji points out, resting his head on the cold table. "If all goes well with that plan of yours, the best thing that could happen is that Makino will be less of a dick to you."

"How about you guys help pitch in for the stripper, and he'll be less of a dick to all of us?" Takuya offers.

"I want no part in this," Kouji says, closing his eyes like he's about to go to sleep.

"Don't get me involved," Kouichi says, staring out the window.

"...Hey, Kouji. How many T's are in 'Prostitute'?"

"You're kidding. Are you that desperate?" Kouji looks at him, chin still on the table. Takuya shrugs at him. "Just by hiring a prostitute could get you fired alone, and maybe even arrested."

"You better stick with a stripper. Prostitutes are much more expensive."

Kouji raises his head up"Kouichi, judging from that tone of voice it sounds like you know a lot about prostitutes.."

"I arrest prostitutes all the time. You wouldn't believe the stuff I've learned about that type of business." Kouichi explains, a hint of excitement in his voice.

"I think that's my cue to leave." Kouji says, standing up. "Oh, by the way there are three T's in 'Prostitute'" He grabs his bag before rushing out of the restaurant.

Tokyo, Japan

On call - Suspicion of Prostitution

November 29rd

Takuya: Kouichi, how come you always tag along with us? Not that I mind, but what happened to your own partner?

Kouichi: He 'divorced' me. Now he works alone. Told me I was a bad luck charm..

Kouji: Wonder why he thinks that?

Kouichi: WHAT?

Kouji: *Sigh*

Takuya: Well, wasn't he also promoted or something? Maybe it has something to do wit-Whoa.

Kouji: What? *Looks outside the driver window*

Takuya: She's perfect!

Kouji: And she matches the description perfectly. That must be her..

Takuya: Lt. Makino will love her. Gentlemen, I think we've found our girl.

Kouji and Kouichi: What..?

Takuya slams the door shut, as he walks over to the sidewalk. "Let me do the talking you guys," He states before making his way towards the street corner where a young female figure stood. Kouji stares in amazement, "He's out of his mind!"

The twins quickly follow, both staring in awe while doing so. Takuya grins, before he taps the shoulder of the prostitute. She turns around to face him, her blonde hair moving as she does. "Oh hey..you..?"

"Zoe-chan! Missed me?"

"Aha..Well of course.." Zoe quickly nods her head, starting to feel uncomfortable. "Did you need something, Mr. Officer?" She says cutely.

"Zoe-chan, I think we both know what I want." He says suggestively. Zoe looks past Takuya for a moment, to greet the two police officers behind him. "Hey, Kouichi!"

"Hey, Zoe." Kouichi gives her a small wave.

"Haven't seen you in a while. Have you started that small business you've been talking about yet?"

"Ah, sadly no. Hopefully by the end of next year if I've saved up enough money.."

"Oh my! What happened to your ear?" She asks, the pretty teal eyes of hers goes wide.

"Shot off, no biggie.." Kouji then nudges Kouichi, "Quit acting so casual!" He reminds quietly.

Takuya grabs Zoe's shoulders, forcing her to look at him. She shrugs him off though, "Don't touch me. Pay me first."

Kouji stares at her and Takuya in disgust, he can't believe that he's actually letting Takuya do this. "Luckily for you three, the Thanksgiving special is still going on, and will end on December 1st." Zoe starts to explain, a small modest smile rose on her face.

The three stare at the smaller figure, amazed.

"30% off. Not bad, huh?" She continues.

"Zoe-chan. Remember that time I arrested you?" Takuya asks.

"No."

"Remember how you kept on begging me to let you go? And you said that If I let you go, I'd get the 'Paradise Package' for free?"

"Did I really say that?" She crosses her arms, not completely sure if she should trust him.

"Mmhm. You were on some type of drug at the time, which is why you don't remember."

"Ah, sounds like me! But this only applies to you, your friends will still have to pay."

"I want no part in this!" Kouji yells.

Kouji: I hate you so much. *Slams car door closed*

Takuya: *Grins* The best part was that I wasn't promised the 'Paradise Package' it was the 'Sweetheart's Sugar'...She wasn't even on drugs!

Kouji: I think I got 3 different types of STDs just by looking at her.

Takuya: She really is a nice girl though. She's helping Kouichi plan his business..

Kouji: Yeah. She seems like a nice girl, once you look past all the glitter.

Zoe: Remember, it's all about quality, not quantity!

Kouichi: Got it!

Kouji: Kouichi, get in the car! Please!

Next time on: Tokyo 911

Takuya: ..And the party will be at Kouji's apartment!

Kouji: You sonvuabitch.

*Part of this scene is based on an actual episode of RENO911.

Please R&R this stupid, stupid crack fanfiction. :I

Ah, poor Zoe. It was hard to try to keep her in character and make her a bit whoreish at the same time..Which ended in this result.