2. Why isn't love ever enough for us?

Serena flipped through the papers as usual; news was not really her kind of genre. She took a sip of her morning coffee but stopped point blank when she saw a big fat interview in the middle of the paper with no other than her dear stepbrother who's been away for two years now. She started to read the interview when a certain petite brunette entered.

"Serena! How are you?", the brunette asked as if they hadn't seen each other for a week when they actually saw each other just the other night.

"Nothing special," Serena answered, though she was a little bit distracted and of course Blair noticed that.

"What are you reading that's so intriguing?"

They hadn't really talked about what happened that night two years ago and Serena didn't really now if now was a good time to bring it up, but at the same time, when would it ever be a good time to bring up the earth shattering and passionate relationship between her best friend and her stepbrother?

"It's just-" She was interrupted by Blair who had seen the big picture of Chuck posing in front of the Eifel tower.

"Oh."

"Yeah, he seems to be doing well", Serena approached the subject cautiously. Blair got something distant in her eyes.

"Well, that's good", she replied quietly.

"Can you read the article?" she continued.

"Are you sure B? I mean you haven't talked about him in over two years and I don't really know what actually happened"

"That's between me and him. Can you please just read it?"

Serena looked curiously at Blair but nodded slowly when she saw the determination in her friend's eyes.

"The former bad boy and womanizer of the New York's Upper East Side Chuck Bass have developed into a CEO of a multibillion company. At the age of 22 he has achieved many things that most people only can dream of but what we're interested in is what is it really that drives Bass forward? Is it money? Power? Confirmation? Our reporter David Fincher met up with the very successful man to find out more about Chuck Bass and his mysterious private life that wasn't always so mysterious. Not in the old days but it seems that the successful CEO not only changed city but also changed himself.

– How come we haven't heard about you in almost two years? You usually was the center of the spotlight and now you're even harder to find than Michael Jackson was when he lived. –

Well, I'm a private person. I really don't find anything exciting with tabloids or gossip sites.

– But you certainly did when you were younger, right?

– I have grown up a lot since then.

The smirk isn't really there this time and it's something dark in Mr. Bass tone. It's hard to recognize from the always smirking and seductive Chuck Bass we learned to love.

- In which ways?

Bass is quiet for a long time, not because he doesn't want to answer the question or is nonchalant, simply because he's thinking about how to express himself.

- I really don't know, man. I mean, when I was younger, I guess in some ways I thought I was invincible. That nothing or no one could stop me. And maybe that was my problem. I guess I've learned that you have to be tough in business but you can't take your job home and you have to have some kind of private life because if you're successful or in the spotlight for any other reason it's really behind close doors you can just relax and be yourself. If you're not intimidated by being exposed, then you have no private life and in the end that destroys you. To not be able to have any secrets or flaws is impossible to live with in the long run. My point is that I've done things I regret, things I wish I could take back, but I can't and in a way that destroys me and then it doesn't matter how successful I am or how much money and power I have because when I close the doors at night from the public eye I don't have anything.

To say that we're shocked over that sincere and open story from Bass is an understatement. We're not used with the CEO to get this close, this personal. He's never been before but it's obvious that something or someone changed him. We could only guess who that could be because after this heartfelt confession Bass goes back to the formal manners although he does offer us a smirk then and then."

Serena dropped the paper, there was a page left but nothing of any real substance. Just some questions about his success and plans for the future. Serena took the chance to look carefully at her friend who hadn't said a word since she started to read.

"Hey, B. How are you?" she asked carefully. Blair looked up at her.

"Oh, I'm fine. It was a good interview though. He really has grown up, huh?" If you never had met Blair Waldorf before you might've believed her but Serena knew her friend too well to know that everything was definitely not okay. There might have been jealousy and stupid things between them but they had always relied on each other and Serena was apart from her stepbrother the person who knew Blair Waldorf better than anyone. And Blair Waldorf was definitely not okay. But she wouldn't admit that herself so Serena just had to play along until the opportunity to confront Blair and make her deal with what had happened came.

"Yeah, I guess he has."

Serena continued to say something but Blair was already far away. For the first time in a long time she allowed herself to travel back in the time. She let memories of her and Chuck together, happy as they were supposed to be, wash over her. In her mind she could allow her to smile, because it seemed that Chuck really had grown up in a way she never would have imagined two years ago. As happy as it made her, because although everything that had happened she wanted him to be happy, she also felt a bit sad because she knew what their last fight had been about. It had been about him and the fact that she thought he had to grow up which was a sore subject because he had matured a lot since they first fell for each other in their junior year and the fact that she thought he wasn't mature enough made him feel insecure which was the main reason that they was not happy together as they should have been.

"Chuck, you can't just propose to me because you need to be sure that I don't leave you.", she said quiet but with a determination that scared him because that meant that he could beg, plead or promise her the world and that would still not be enough for her to say yes to him. Maybe she didn't want to break up but for him it felt that way. Se didn't want to marry him. That was the cold truth, at least that's what he saw and that's what she said.

"I love you, isn't that enough? Does marriage have a certain age? You know that we never were the ones for rules anyway." He tried so desperately to joke about it because he couldn't stand the seriousness in her answer.

"You know I love you too but I know that we aren't ready. We're way too young and we still fight over silly things and we still want our freedom. We don't want to be locked down at the age of twenty. I want marriage, kids and all that stuff with you but not now. Someday in the future I will want that and I know we will have that together because I love you and you love me and our love is epic. I know that in my heart. You have to believe me Chuck." She pleaded to him, to understand her, to accept the fact that they could wait and in the future they would have their fairytale. But he was still Chuck Bass, and although Blair just had professed her undying love for him he as the insecure jerk that he was couldn't get it thorough. All he could hear was that she didn't want to marry him, she wanted to be free.

"So, you want to date other guys? I'm not enough for you? You want to make sure that there isn't someone else out there who's better before you marry me because otherwise you might do a mistake? Is that it Blair?" Blair looked at him in shock, as if she hadn't heard anything more ridiculous. It made an ironic scene, Blair who looked startled at Chuck while he looked completely serious and you could see the anger in his eyes mixed with insecurity build up.

"Are you kidding me? I've just told you that I love you and I want to marry you in the future and you think I want to break up? Are you high?" She almost hoped he was because then this wouldn't be a nightmare. This would be a Chuck on drugs which would've been way better than a Chuck that still was the boy he were years ago. Possessive, jealous, insecure, jumping to conclusions.

"You said you didn't want to marry me!"He was screaming now.

"Did you not hear a word I said? I want to marry you in the future!" She started to get pissed of at him; couldn't he just listen to her instead of acting like a five year old?

"In the future? Well, we all know how that will go, don't we Blair?" he said contemptuously.

"What's wrong with you? Can't you just grow up once and for all! Have faith in me, have faith in us! But mostly, have faith in yourself."

Chuck laughed a hollow laugh that didn't reach his eyes. It wasn't anything happy with it at all; it was cruel and sounded nothing any way near his usual laugh. Or at least what had become his usual laugh when he was around her. That laugh made her warm inside; it made her happy to know that he also was happy. It was the best laugh Blair had ever heard; when he laughed she couldn't be mad or feel that the world was a misery place to live. He was her sun.

"Have faith? You reject me and you tell me to have faith?"

"I didn't reject you. Until now. I can't do this Chuck. You need to grow up and this can never work. I do us both a favor and walk away. Maybe in the future. But I want you to know that I love you, I still do with all my heart and I hope you find the wonderful guy that professed his love for me inside you because I know he exists." Blair walked out and left a broken Chuck behind her. When she closed the door she let the tears fall, why was everything this hard? Maybe it was true that real love had to be hard or else it didn't count. But as she exhausted climbed into her bed later at night she wondered if love couldn't be easy and right at the same time because if it couldn't she wasn't sure she ever would want to be in love again.