Here is a total crackfic written for my friend Mandy who I missed a bunch. N3ON, my Femme!Loki, it's great to have you back! Here is a story written just for you (I included myself because let's face it...Loki can't handle himself and I wanted to meet Thor).

Disclaimer: Loki belongs to Mandy. Thor is mine, and Avengers is Marvel's.

It was a beautiful day in downtown Traverse City. Peaceful, with the seagulls slowly circling over the crystal blue waters of West Bay. The sunlight gently warmed the sand and the trees provided welcoming shade to the small group of tourists. "So, Tony, why here?" asked Steve, adjusting the brim of his red-white-and-blue hat to shade his eyes better.

"Look around! We just defeated aliens and your," he pointed to the muscular and long-haired blond man at the back of the group, "Idiot brother. This is the most relaxing place I could possibly think of. Great place to vacation with some really nice local cuisine and just look at the view!"

"I agree with Tony," said Natasha. She held Clint's hand and looked around, "I mean come on, it's absolutely gorgeous and super-peaceful."

"Do not say super," groaned Bruce. He started walking towards a row of trees near the beach and the rest of the group followed him silently. "Here's a good spot to set up, though."

"Yeah. Perfect." Tony grumbled, sad that it wasn't his idea. The six of them laid blankets on the ground and set down their picnic baskets. Natasha complained that it was too warm and stripped down to her bikini (which was surprisingly modest). Everyone else tried not to stare, but agreed with her and changed into their swimwear as well. They were sipping lemonade and enjoying the weather when they heard three loud voices running towards them.

"Oh great," Steve said, sitting up to look. What he saw surprised him to no end. Two girls, one blond and one with short black hair, were chasing a pale shirtless man down the beach. He held a black plastic bag in one hand, and what looked like a spoon in the other. The scary part was who the shirtless man turned out to be. No one could deny that it was unmistakably Loki. Thor's Jotun half-brother. The girls came closer, and the Avengers could hear what they were shouting.

"Loki stop! Get back here with those! You've had enough! And if you fall with that thing you could poke yourself in the eye!" the Avengers couldn't tell which girl was yelling which warning, but apparently they needed help detaining their runaway God of Mischief. Thor leaped up and bolted down the beach, side-tackling the spry black-haired man into the sand.

"Oh. My. Norse. Gods." the blond girl spoke, her voice low and dramatic. "It's Thor."

"Hey Thor, mind getting off Loki? He could injure himself..." the black-haired girl trailed off. Thor stood and pulled his half-brother with him by the arm, holding him tightly so that he couldn't escape.

"Jane, Mandy, make him let go," Loki whined like a little child. Mandy stepped forward and took a firm grip on Loki's left ear.

"Please let him go, Thor."

"But..."

"DO IT!" and, frightened of the young Midgardian's outburst, Thor released his brother. Loki painfully stooped and walked to Jane, his ear in Mandy's vice grip.

"Would you like to give Jane her sour gummy worms back?" Mandy asked, as if admonishing someone much younger.

"Yes." Loki sighed, handing her the black plastic bag of candy. "But can I show Thor your advanced technology?"

"Sure, go ahead." Mandy released his ear. "But come straight back when you're all done or Odin will throw a fit because you left us. And we don't want the All-Father throwing a fit, do we, Loki?"

"No Mandy," he hung his head.

"Good. Now go show Thor your new favorite weapon," Jane smiled. Odin had given the two girls total reign over Loki (as punishment for his misdeeds) and they were making a friend of him. But today they had gotten ice cream and candy from a local store. Sour gummy worms were both Jane and Loki's favorite and they'd been squabbling over them until Loki discovered something even better. A device so maniacal that all of Asgard would fear this evil weapon...

"Thor look at the weapon I found!"

"Who gave you a weapon!" Thor looked at the two giggling girls incredulously.

"Jane and Mandy gave me one to eat my ice cream!" Loki excitedly held up a spoon with tongs on the top half. His eyes were slightly glazed-over and crazy looking. His pupils were adjusting quickly and for seemingly no reason. Loki was on a sugar high.

"Oh, it's a spork."

"Isn't it marvelous! I could take down entire armies with this!" Loki proclaimed loudly. Bruce and Natasha hid their faces because they were laughing too hard. Clint had fallen asleep and Steve was also in wonderment of what the new generations had brought since he'd been frozen in the ice. Tony rolled his eyes and went back to reading his magazine and sipping a lemonade.

"Well I'd best get back to my guardians. Goodbye brother!" Loki squeezed Thor around his well-muscled middle and skipped back to the girls. Holding out his hand for a few more pieces of sour-sugar-coated-candy. He started to braid Jane's long blond-brown hair and munch happily on the gummies. Thor approached them slowly.

"How do you keep him so innocent and not...not Loki?" Thor asked. Mandy rolled her eyes.

"Easy. You give him lots of sugar, teach him how to draw, and then take him to see a movie or two."

"Oh."

"Yes. But now we must go back to my house and wash his hair and watch Labyrinth because Jane and I are making Loki a Jareth Halloween costume." Mandy said before turning and walking away. Jane bounced up and gave Thor a quick hug.

"Well it was nice meeting you," she smiled. Thor patted her head, marveling at Loki's new-found ability to french braid hair so intricately.

"Yes...good day..."

Thor returned to his five companions.

"So that is Asgardian justice?" Steve asked, pointing at Loki, who was holding hands with both girls while crossing the intersection.

"I guess father knew just how to make him see the innocent side of life."

"Good job," Natasha yawned, laying down for a nap. One by one the Avengers fell asleep in the shade, marveling at how well everything worked out and wondering just how Loki would use a spork in combat.