"Where do you think you'll go?"

Derek sighed, turning toward the concerned voice of his mother. "I don't know, I spoke with Dr. Webber from Seattle. He said he was looking for someone to head up the neurosurgery department at Seattle Grace…

"And is that something that you really want to do right now? Move directly across the country to run away from your problems?"

"Mom, I'm not avoiding my problems…I'm taking time to think. I can't breathe here anymore."

"And what about your marriage? You're willing to throw away the past eleven years of your life because you need time to 'think?'" Miriam Shepherd looked expectantly at her son, studying his tired posture and looking into his once sparkling and playful eyes. "Derek, sweetheart, you know I love you, I will support any decision you make and stand behind you no matter what. You are my child. But honey, are you absolutely certain that this is what you want to do? This is something that will change your life drastically. I'm sure you'll be taking a pay cut, leaving a private practice--"

"Mom, please."

"Not to mention the distance. Seattle is so far from us here in New York. I mean at least now you're only a couple hours away…" She trailed off seeing that her efforts were fairly futile. "Derek, what I'm about to say, you're not going to like."

"Then don't," He stated sharply.
She sighed sympathetically. "Derek what you two had…I've never seen that...between anyone, ever. She lov--"

"Don't! Don't you say it. Not now. You're supposed to be defending me! You just said you'd be supportive. So, go ahead. Support me. But don't you talk about her. Don't even mention her name." He paused, desperately, "Just the thought of him, with his hands on her, makes me sick to my stomach." The last sentence was spoken with more venom than Miriam had heard in a long time.

"Alright. I'll be supportive. No more attempts at super-mom, I'll be side-line mom… When do you think you'll leave for Seattle?" She said, dreading his response.

Derek looked at her with a look she could not read and answered, "As soon as fucking possible."

It was then that she knew her son was lost, sinking into a vast abyss which she could neither understand, nor even begin to try and save him from. He had to save himself. What she wouldn't do to take away his pain, she thought. She'd always had a good relationship with her daughter-in-law. The events of the past few days, however, and her son's heartbreaking appearance on her doorstep two days ago in the middle of the night, were certainly cause for a reevaluation of things she'd thought she'd known.

"Alright," she finally said, "I'll help you get your things figured out tomorrow and I'm sure you will be far away from us by the end of the week."

"Mom, please. You know this has nothing to do with you or dad. It'll kill me to be away from the girls too. Not to mention the rest of the family…but not as much as it would kill me to stay here right now."

"I know, I know. I'm just trying to guilt trip you into staying…you can't blame me for trying."

He smiled sadly, "No, no I can't."

A strange silence then fell over them. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable; it was the kind of silence that hangs in the air. It was a silence you could taste, the kind that anyone, upon entering the room, would be able to feel to the bone. As Derek was pondering this, and realizing just how skillfully he had mastered the art of wallowing in the past few days, it occurred to him that it was quite late.

"Alright, I think I'm gonna go to bed. I have a busy few days ahead of me."
Miriam nodded, "alright, you do that, sleep tight kiddo. I love you."

"Thanks Mom, I love you too." With that he stood and walked to the stairs, turning at the bottom to look back at her in what she assumed was an attempt to smile, showing he was ok. Unfortunately for him, physical appearance of the smile betrayed his mental intention, causing his mother to see just how 'not ok' he actually was.

She went about cleaning up the kitchen from their impromptu midnight snack and as she was almost finished something caught her eye. There on the table, in all it's platinum glory, was Derek's wedding band. She picked it up and read the inscription inside, "It's intense…9-29-95"

"Dammit Meredith, how could you do this to him?" She whispered to herself, "How could you cheat on my son?"