Three faces stared at you. You stared back. The silence hovered between you. You, being the smart person you are, said the first thing that came to your mind.
"Well fuck me sideways with a chainsaw."
Three confused faces stared at you. You stared back, perplexed. The silence was still there. You tried a different approach and began to try to make sense of the situation while muttering your thoughts as they came. You moved about aimlessly as you did so, waving your arms around every now and then to help organise your thoughts.
"You guys are cosplayers, aren't you? I mean, that makes the most sense, given the situation. But then what about the portal trick? You wouldn't have just installed a trap door in my ceiling then done a flashy light show for the hell of it. That also begs the question as to why I'm the one you'd do it to. I'm too ordinary. Oh! Wait, is this one of those stupid hidden camera shows? It is, isn't it? Wait, that still doesn't answer the whole "why me" question... How the hell do you even get on one of those shows? You'd have to enter your name, right? Or not? I don't know. Anyway, both theories are flawed, but I can't think of any other explanation besides you guys are the real fucking deal. But that's just stupid... isn't it?"
You stopped ranting and looked at the boys on your floor again. They stared back for a few seconds before Karkat not-so-politely questioned "what the fuck?"
You gave him an exasperated look before replying "I don't know, that's what I'm trying to figure out!"
He huffed back. "Well excuse me, oh acrimonious one, for being confused because I've just been sent spinal crevice over shout pot through time and space, landing on top of two fucking Stridery ass holes, only to have my ear ducts harassed by your babbling brook of bullshit."
You blinked a few times.
"Well damn, if you guys are cosplaying you've got Karkat's character down pat."
"Who the fuck are you, and better yet, how the fuck do you know who I am?!" Karkat demanded while giving you a horrified look.
At this point, Dave joined the conversation with "actually, that's a really damn good question. That and 'where the fuck are we?'"
You looked between the two.
"Okay, you can drop the act now. We've established you're great RPers as well as great cosplayers."
"Listen" Dave said, "I can understand you'd be pretty confused and all, what with three random hot guys making a grand fucking entrance via portal onto your floor and all, but do you think that you could just pretend for ten minutes that this is real and we're from other worlds and shit and answer some of our questions?"
You blinked a few times again.
"Alright" you said slowly. "Let's say I do pretend that you guys are the real Dave, Dirk and Karkat for a few minutes. What do you want to know?"
"First off, how do you know our names? I'm pretty damn sure we've never met before," Dirk asked, also joining the conversation.
You shrugged. "That's easy an easy one. You guys are pretty well known here due to a webcomic called 'Homestuck' that you're all characters in. Thank god I don't have to explain it though since you guys have actually experienced it. It's always hard doing that when someone asks 'what's it about?' Next?"
Nervous glances were passed around the trio.
"Alright, back to my question, where the fuck are we?" Dave asked.
"Also easy, (country name), planet fucking earth. Welcome aboard."
"So we're back on earth? What year?" Dirk asked next.
"Right, future boy" you reminded yourself as you remembered that Dirk knew a very different earth. "It's currently (year), and yes, you are back on earth. Or at least you are, it's Karkat's first time visiting our fabulous blue speck hidden in the universe" you answered.
Dirk gazed out of one of the windows and whispered "we did it, we really did it."
"Hey, you ok there?" you asked Dirk, genuinely concerned.
"Yeah, I just..." he stood up and raked a hand through his hair, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Holy shit we did it."
The other two followed suit and stood up as well. You noted that Dirk and Dave were taller than you, but Karkat was about the same height as you.
You looked at Karkat more closely, who looked back at you and frowned. "What?" he asked gruffly.
You frowned back, having noticed a lack of a headband on his head and no signs of his horns being clip on, or of him wearing a wig, before replying "I'm having second thoughts about whether or not you're the real deal, and I've got an idea to test it. Wait here."
You ran off to your room leaving the boys to look at each other in confusion.
Once you located what you were looking for in your mess of a room, you ran back out. Man, you really needed to clean your room. Add that to the list of things that you need to do but will continue to put off.
"Give me your hand" you told Karkat once you'd returned.
"What? No! Why the fuck should I do that?" he said, pulling his hands away defensively.
You rolled your eyes and held up the packet in your own hand. "I grabbed these are makeup wipes since I thought this would be the least invasive method. If you're a cosplayer, you would've had to have used some sort of makeup or paint to make yourself grey. If nothing comes off when I use one of these on you, that means you've either dyed your skin, which is highly unlikely, or..." you trailed off. You wanted so badly to believe that they were really the characters from the comic you loved so much, but you didn't want to get your hopes up in case they really were just cosplayers.
"Or?" Dave prompted.
"Or, you really are who you say you are" you finished.
Karkat glared at you, then held out his hand.
You opened the packet and pulled out a wipe. You took a deep breath, then held Karkat's hand gently in one of your own and began to wipe at it.
After a while, you stopped to check his skin and saw that it was still grey and the wipe had no colour on it. You wiped a bit harder this time, excitement bubbling up in the pit of your stomach.
You pulled back again after about a minute only to see the wipe still clean. You looked up into Karkat's eyes and saw how detailed his irises were, thinking how no contacts could look that way, even if they were sclera contacts, which you knew from experience were incredibly hard to find for that particular style anyway.
Karkat raised an eyebrow and asked "believe us yet?"
You nodded dumbly and dropped his arm, yours falling limply to your sides.
"Whoa" was all you could manage to breath out.
"Yeah, whoa" you heard who you guessed was Dave say.
You looked over to see both Striders giving you their trademark smirks.
You gulped, struggling to keep yourself composed and promptly excused yourself before hastily making your way back to your room where you flopped onto your bed, buried your face into your pillow and squealed and laughed like the fangirl you were.
It was really them
So, I finally finished the first chapter of this, and I have to say, I'm really happy with it :3c Hopefully the next one won't take too long, but I've been working a lot lately and I've got homework to finish before school starts again and I go into year 12. Ugh. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the story so far, and I'd love it if you could leave a review if you have time :3