AUTHOR'S NOTE OF D00M:
An AU fanfic written half by me, half by Mandy Pants
Chapter two starts to bring in the supporting cast, including Tobi, the English teachers Sakon and Ukon, and 8th graders Gaara and Sasuke. The school counselor Umino Iruka and the computer teacher/pedophile Orochimaru are mentioned.
In this chapter, I wrote the parts of Sasori, Gaara, Tobi, and Sakon and Ukon
Mandy Pants wrote the parts of Deidara, Sasuke, and Dei's random fans.
This fanfic is a yaoi fic, DeiSaso (Yeah, she uke-ized me -.-), with some ItaDei and TobiDei and several other background pairings including, but not limited to, SasuGaa, one-way SakuSasu, and TemaShika.
All characters in this chapter (c) Kishimoto Masashi
The main location is School of the Arts in Rochester, NY
Deidara stumbled into his high-honours English class and slid into a desk, dropping his head onto it painfully. "I'm so exhausted..." He whined to himself, before picking his head up to see the group of fangirls which had congregated above hi
"SENPAI! SENPAI! Hey Sennnnnnnnpaaaaaaaiiiiiiii!" Tobi ran up to his blonde friend. How Tobi had gotten into a high-honours English class no one will ever know... Deidara rubbed his temples with his index fingers and kept his eyes closed calmly.
"Yes, Tobi, what do you want,un?"
"Hello!" Tobi said happily. His face, usually obscured with an orange swirly mask, was bare today except for some bright orange goggles. A big smile was spread across his face. "Do you like Tobi's new goggles, Senpai? Tobi's niisan Obito gave Tobi them when he got new ones!" Deidara never bothered to open his eyes.
"Yes, Tobi, they're just lovely, un."
"Yay! Thank you, Senpai! Now people can see Tobi's face, but not very well. They can see Tobi smile!" He flashed Deidara a big, toothy grin. His teeth were surprisingly white, and he had mint on his breath. "Does Senpai like Tobi's face?" Deidara finally opened his eyes and studied Tobi's features carefully, he was surprisingly good-looking. He could tell that there was a look of awe on his face.
"Wow, Tobi..."
"Tobi knows, Tobi looks very good, Tobi looks a lot like his niisan Obito, some people even thought Tobi was Obito! It's crazy, huh?" Tobi flopped down in the chair next to Deidara.
"Yeah, Crazy, un" Deidara mumbled thinking, 'I really must meet this "Obito" I'm sure he is even better looking than Tobi... '
"So how are Tobi's itoku doing, Senpai? I haven't seen them in ages, Itachi is never in lunch and Sasuke is always going to class in the longest most confusing ways, not to mention he is always skipping with his boyfriend Gaara." Tobi giggled at his last statement.
"They're good,un" Deidara mumbled continuing to massage his temples. "Itachi is gonna skip a grade,un" He sounded both proud and disappointed at the same time.
"Ooooh Itachi was always the smart one, even smarter than Tobi's niisan Obito! But don't tell Tobi's niisan Tobi said that, or Tobi's niisan will have Tobi's head!"
"Hey...Since this is high-honours...there's 10th graders in here right,un?" Deidara asked shifting in his chair.
"Yeah, Tobi guesses, why do you ask, Senpai?" Tobi looked around to see anyone familiar he might see. Deidara was far too lazy to actually look around the room himself, so he just ordered Tobi around.
"Is there a short red-headed kid in here, un?" He fluttered his eyes open lightly.
"Ummmmmmmmmm." Tobi tried to look around, but the wave of Deidara's fans blocked his view. "Tobi can't see, Senpai."
Deidara turned to see his screaming fans, all girls in this class for some reason. He stood up, and took a random one's hands in his, and looked into her eyes romantically, moved his face low towards hers, she was practically melting, when he yelled, "I'm gay!! Get the FUCK away from me!!" They all quietly walked away, in shock. Tobi blinked at his senpai's sudden act toward the girls. Tobi giggled as Deidara's yelling didn't exactly help the problem as several boys in the class got up and moved toward the blonde boy. "Senpai, Senpai, Tobi thinks Tobi might've seen a short redhead before the boys came up over in thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat direction!" He pointed to the furthest part of the room from the door. Deidara sighed, he might have to sacrifice his dignity just to find Sasori, he wondered if it was worth it, so he pretended to be engaged in a conversation with Tobi...
"...and the test came back positive! I'm terrified! I think I'm going to die,un!" He smirked as the boys all backed into their seats. He could now see clearly to Sasori, sitting comfortably in the back of the room...
"OH DEAR KAMI WHAT NO!! NO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tobi jumped from his seat and began running in circles, apparently driven insane from the thought of Deidara's death. He was just... stupid that way.
Deidara grabbed Tobi by his shoulders and shook him before whispering in his ear, "I'm not dying stupid, I was trying to make them go away, un..." He pushed Tobi aside and made his way towards Sasori.
"Oh thank Kami Tobi thought Senpai was going to die..." Tobi sat back in his seat in a daze. Deidara shook his head at Tobi's stupidity and continued to walk towards the back. Sasori was staring down at a notebook, so he tapped his shoulder.
"Danna, un...?" Sasori's head jolted up and he turned quickly to Deidara, his pen in his hand, the tip stopped centimeters from the blonde's throat.
"Oh Kami it's you." Sasori sighed. "I'm sorry, Deidara, I thought you were someone trying to kill me." He lowered his hand and placed his pen on his desk, and closed his notebook. "I didn't know you were in this class, Dei."
"O...Kay..." The blonde was still shaking from almost getting stabbed with a pen. "I-I-I was moved up,un..." He took a deep breathe and regained his composure "You say that as if people frequently try to kill you,un...?"
Sasori blinked, then, "Well, a little bit," he said laughing. "I've been jumped before."
"Really? I can't imagine anyone hating someone so quiet,un..." Deidara made an attempt to lean on the desk, but missed and fell flat on his back, with a loud 'thud!' Sasori blinked at Deidara's clumsiness, then let out a loud howl of laughter.
"Are... are you ok-okay Deidara..?!" he said through his laughs.
"I'm fine." Deidara blushed and picked himself up. "S-sorry" He retreated within himself, and waved quietly, going back to his seat next to Tobi. Sasori stopped laughing and watched Deidara heading back to the orange-goggled buffoon. He sighed tiredly and lay his head on his desk loudly. Not like he could feel it...
"What was that about, Senpai?" Tobi asked Deidara when the blonde reached his previous seat.
"Just saying 'Hello' to a new friend of mine,un." 'And making a complete fool of myself, can't forget that,' he thought, scolding himself for his clumsiness.
"Oh, ok." Tobi turned his attention to the front of the class where the two teachers, Ukon-sensei and Sakon-sensei, were writing out two separate assignments on the board. Deidara stared absent-mindedly at the clock, wishing the minutes would all just disappear. He laid his head on the desk, and thought about nothing in particular, sighing deeply.
"Deidara," Ukon started. "Pay attention," Sakon finished. They both stood at the front of the class tapping their feet, waiting for the high school heart-throb to begin the assignments written on the board. Even Tobi had begun to do his.
"Bite me,un." Deidara mumbled in a tired state.
"If you wish to be bitten," Ukon said. "Then go see Orochimaru," Sakon finished. The two teachers stared at Deidara. They weren't kidding. Deidara stuck up his middle finger and returned to his nap. The two teachers had had just about enough of Deidara's insolence.
"Listen kid," Ukon. "We don't know what you did before you came to this class." Sakon. "But it wont be tolerated!" They both finished. "Now either do your work," Ukon said. "Or go to the Hokage's office." Sakon finished. No one really understood why the high school called the principle "Hokage". The Middle school principle was the "Kazekage". Had something to do with elements... Deidara lazily lifted his head, he hadn't noticed that his scope was uncovered.
"I believe I may be having a psychotic meltdown, can I go home,un?" he asked in a kind voice. The two teachers blinked at the blonde boy. "No, you may not," Ukon said. "You may go see Iruka the school counselor." Sakon said. Deidara smiled manically.
"Fine,un," and he made his way for the door. He turned around and winked. "I've been having some trouble with one of my classmates...may I bring along Akasuna Sasori, for some peer mediation,un?" He seemed proud of what he said.
Sakon and Ukon looked at each other without a hint of emotion in their faces. Sakon turned to Deidara first. "What kind of problems-" Ukon cut in, "Have you been having?"
"Arguments and such,un," Deidara lied. "I just don't want to have to punch that scrawny little bitch in the face,un." Deidara flashed Sasori a look that said, 'Go along with it, I can get you out of class.'
Sakon and Ukon stared at the small redhead in the distant corner of the room, then turned back to Deidara. "You may," they said in unison. "Akasuna Sasori," said Ukon. "Go with Deidara to Iruka," Sakon finished. Sasori complied and gathered his belongings. "Don't get into a fight" Sakon. "On the way there." Ukon. Sasori disappeared out the door with Deidara. Deidara grinned triumphantly once they got in the halls.
"I love doing that,un" He giggled.
"Those two are evil, you better be careful," Sasori said. After a while he asked, "Where are we going, definitely not to Iruka, right?"
"Uhh..." The blonde put a finger to his chin "I hadn't really thought this out, un..." Sasori chuckled before grabbing Deidara's wrist with his real hand, and led him to the far staircase on the half-floors, bringing him back down to the dance floor and opening the door that was without a handle.
"No one ever comes down this way," He said, leading Deidara down the dark stairs into the dark area beneath. Deidara watched as Sasori pulled him, he had never thought him to have so much energy.
"Okay,un" He said letting Sasori continue to drag him. It was dark in the area down the stairs, and seeing the place was difficult to do. Sasori sat on the ground and pulled Deidara down next to him. A thought came through his mind.
"Wait here for a second I gotta go make sure of something..." He stood up and began feeling around the dark area. Finally his hand touched something soft, smooth, and silky, and another thing that felt gelled and pointed. "Haha! I knew you two would be here," Sasori said triumphantly. Deidara looked around frantically.
"There are other people in here,un?" Sasori laughed.
"Oh yes, the only two people I know know about this place. They skip here every few days together, and I had to make sure they were still clothed before we started hearing things." The other two people in the area blushed, although hardly seen in the dark.
"Who, un?" Deidara was getting frustrated. Sasori chuckled.
"Why, none other than my lil cousin, and your best friend's lil bro." Sasori pulled Gaara and Sasuke over to where him and Deidara had been sitting, sat, and pulled them down to sit as well.
"Oh, Sasuke-kun! It's been so long since I've seen you,un!" Deidara glomped Sasuke, in more of a best-friend way, than a fan-boy way. The two redheaded cousins laughed at the look of desperation on Sasuke's face. Although there wasn't much light down there, the light from the hole where a handle should've been on the door above them was enough to see a little
"Deidara, get off!" Sasuke said pushing Deidara.
"Okay, fine, but, it's so great to see you!! We're always at the other side of the building,un!!" The blonde looked like a school-girl.
"Saaaasuke, I didn't know you knew the high school heart-throb" Gaara said teasingly. "Don't you be stealin' my Neko-chan away now, Mr. Mouths. Gaara used the name for Deidara that the Uchihas frequently used. Deidara clapped happily.
"That's so cute!! You guys must be the cutest couple in the school,un!!" He was smiling ear-to-ear. "And I see my reputation has found it's way all the way to 4th floor, un!"
"Oh, of course," Gaara said smiling, "Itachi talks about you so much, then Sasuke talks about you and it gets out to everyone." Gaara put his arm around Sasuke's waist in the darkness of the room.
"Ha!" Deidara grinned triumphantly "...Hey...Sasori-Danna why so quiet,un?" He looked slightly worried, not that anyone could tell in the darkness.
"Hmm?" Sasori looked up. "Oh, nothing, I was just thinking while you guys got reacquainted." He smiled reassuringly.
"Oh, okay then...Sasuke, it amazes me that the heart-throb of the middles school, can actually have a boyfriend, with that boyfriend getting killed by fans, how do you manage,un?" Deidara turned his attention to Sasuke and began prying for information.
"Well...I think they're afraid of Gaara...sooo...find a boyfriend people fear I guess." Sasuke said, kissing Gaara on the cheek. Gaara giggled quietly and kissed Sasuke chastely on the lips, then turned his attention to Sasori. He poked him in the shoulder.
"Yeah, like my cuz here, he's pretty feared with all them poisons and stuff, not to mention he's half mechanical." He paused for a while. "Although I feel as though he has the inability to love... or maybe that just runs in the family, I thought I couldn't love 'til I met Suke-Suke-kun" He nuzzled Sasuke's neck. Deidara's smile faded.
"Did you just suggest...?" He shook it off. "So...How long have you two been going out,un?" He once again sounded like a school girl. Gaara thought for a while.
"Two and a half months," He said. "And no, I did not suggest that, I was just using Scorpling as an example." Sasori's face grew a frown at the nickname his cousin had given him.
"Hey, you listen here ya warugaki, you may be taller than me, but I can still kick your ass!" said the hoodie-wearing redhead. The chain-wearing redhead just smiled in the dark. Deidara sighed, then immediately started laughing.
"Scorpling, un, so that's how you piss him off! I was beginning to wonder if it was possible, un!" Sasori growled in the dark, wishing he had some form of outside music to drown out the teasing voices of the other three occupying the space. Deidara leaned against the wall, and after a few moments of silence he decided it was becoming awkward. "What are you guys doing for New Years, un...I mean...It's only about a month away and I'm having a party." He scratched the back of is head "Sasuke, weren't you there last year, un? I vaguely remember Itachi bringing you..."
"Yeah, how did you get so much booze there? It was amazing!" Sasuke said, laughing at what he could remember of the party. "Hey, Deidara you mind if me and Gaara come?"
"Yeah, whatever,un" Deidara said cheerily planning the party in his mind.
"Cool," Gaara said with a smile. "If you need any help setting it up or inviting people me and Sasuke-kun could help. Maybe Scorpling would even help..." Sasori growled at his cousin.
"Call me it again, you Gothic asshole," He said with a glare.
"Scorpliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" Sasori growled and pounced on his cousin, wrestling him to the ground and grabbing his nose between his index and middle fingers, twisting it. "Ow, the fuck, cuz, uncle uncle!!" Sasori grinned and got off of Gaara, sitting back up in the dark.
"That sounded like it hurt,un..." Deidara grimaced in the dark. "But anyway..." he pushed it out of his mind, "I'm trying to keep the guest list more restricted this year, un, last year there were too many fans there. They ruined it for me and Itachi, un." Deidara slipped mentioning back when he and Itachi were a couple.
"Throw some names out," Gaara said, taking out a notebook and pen.
"Well...Uh...Itachi of course...you guys...Tobi...Ummm, un...It's gotta be bigger than that...But that's it for my real friends,un" Deidara said realizing how pathetic his social life really was. Gaara jotted the names down in his notebook. He thought for a while.
"How 'bout Naruto and Sakura? They're pretty good friends of me and Sasuke. And Tobi's brother Obito. Hmmmm..." He thought through his list of friends. He didn't have many either. "My... siblings...?" He pondered. "You know Temi-Temi-Chan pretty well, she's the only girl in the high school not completely infatuated with you. She's got that Shikamaru kid, hehe." He grinned at his sister's love life. It was really quite sweet.
"Yeah, that sounds good, un, add them!!" Deidara said happily. "Y'know Gaara, it's hard to believe that you and Sasori are related,un" Deidara spoke as if Sasori wasn't sitting there.
"Howso?" Gaara asked. "We're pretty similar... or well, we were. That's right, you didn't know me before me and Sasuke hooked up... But I used to be a cold, heartless, maniacal, evil-" He was cut off by a fist in the stomach.
"Shut the FUCK up you stupid little warugaki!" Sasori growled. "You know NOTHING about me! No one does!"
"Maybe that's cause you don't tell anyone about yourself, un," Deidara said changing the mood. "It's not as if you could expect anyone to know anything about you." Sasori blinked at Deidara, taken aback by the boy's freactoin to the entire situation. Gaara rubbed his stomach, glaring at his cousin.
"No one's ever asked," Sasori said flatly, "so there's never been any reason for me to tell."
"Well no one asks me, un." Deidara glanced at Gaara's stomach with concern flashing into his one visible eye. "But if you never eject yourself into the world, you'll never get anywhere, un...It's sad, but you have to know people to make it, and people aren't just going to take interest in a hermit, un." He looked down. "Well, with the exception of me, I find you interesting, un." He blushed slightly. Sasori blinked at the blonde.
"But I don't want to eject myself to the world, they'd just back away and leave me alone anyway. The only people who have ever cared are my roommates Sandaime and Hiruko. They've known me for a long time, we were all outcast from general society so we grouped up to keep each other strong, but now they've graduated and they aren't here anymore, Hiruko's planning on joining the army too, so that'll just leave me and Sandaime." He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back onto the wall and wondering what time it was.
"I...I'm sorry, un..." Deidara stuttered. 'So I guess I really don't mean all that much to him after all,' He thought to himself. "I just thought that..." He had no idea what he ever intended to finish that with. The air became heavy in the silence.
"You just thought what, you warugaki?" Sasori glanced at Deidara, wondering what the blonde boy was thinking. He almost felt bad for the younger student. Almost.
"Nothing, un..." Deidara slumped down onto the floor. Gaara glared at his cousin before moving over to Deidara and giving him a quick hug.
"Don't let my cousin get to you," He said, his seafoam green eyes looking deep into Deidara's one baby blue one. "He's merely a prick who can't open up to anyone." 'Just like I used to be,' he thought to himself. He wondered something...
He stood quickly and somehow pulled the taller Deidara up and dragged him to the other side of the area to talk to him quietly. "Deidara I think I know what Sasori needs to umm... 'eject himself into the world', so to speak." he whispered.
"How,un?" Deidara was completely puzzled.
"Invite him to your New Years party, talk to him, get to know him better. You could even try out that strategy Sasuke-kun used, the one about finding a boyfriend without him getting killed by fangirls..." He grinned slyly in the dark.
"Wh-what, un?" Deidara, as tough as he seemed, was extremely innocent. "Y-You mean...?" Gaara grinned some more in the dark before kissing Deidara's cheek and walking back over to sit next to Sasuke.
"What was that all about?" Sasori asked his cousin.
"Nothin'." Gaara said, still grinning. He quickly pulled out his notebook and jotted Sasori's name down in the list of people to invite. Deidara stood there touching his cheek gently. He was completely silent. 'What the hell was that? Why would he...? And what did he mean by...? Me and Sasori? He couldn't have meant that!! How could we possibly?! What the fuck is going on!!,' He thought to himself. Gaara just sat there, continuing to grin at his little plan.