AUTHOR'S NOTE: I DO NOT own Vampire Knight or the song that inspired me to write this fan fiction. As much as I wish to I don't, so there. This story is rated M for a reason, there will be lemon and things of that sort in chapters most every chapter so if you are too young or are just not interested in that type of thing please don't read this and then leave a bad review. Thank you very much XD

Lover I don't have to love

Zero's POV

A crowd of overzealous, screaming girls. Every guys dream, right? Well that's wrong. Every man should dream of this but I dream a little bit differently then your average male. I should want this…yes I want this. I've always tried to tell myself that, but I just can't believe that lie anymore. I dream of something else, not a girl…no. Never a girl. I want someone else, something else. A man, yes, a man. I need him, that man, over by the gates to the Moon Dormitory. His presence is intoxicating, his smell is alluring, his…

I felt something slam into the back of my head. "Ow!" I screamed, turning around to see who interrupted my thoughts. Her of course. She flung one of her shoes at my head, now she stands with only one shoe on one foot and only a sock on the other. I tried not to laugh but it was too funny not to. As much as I hate to admit it she is the closest thing to a sister I have, no matter how annoying she gets.

"Zero…" she whimpers. "Help!" she really is hopeless. The screaming crowed of girls ambushes her, trying with all their might to get past her. They are in line to see the occupants of the moon dormitory. They openly wish to see what I secretly urn to have as my own. All I have to do is look in their general direction and they back away. I don't understand what is so threatening about me, I try to be gentle but all I ever seem to do is become more of an ass. The gate opened and the night class students emerged. They seemed to glide through the crowed of hormonally imbalanced teen girls, the short young blond vampire named Aido being the only one to take enjoyment in the girls cheering. He waved and giggled and talked incessantly to his fellow classmates about how lucky he was to have a fan club.

The man I so desperately wanted as my own walked in front of the entourage. He looked at no one, not a soul, except her…Yuki Cross. His infatuation with her is understandable but I dislike the idea of him being with a girl. Even if it is Yuki.

Something about him makes my blood boil. When I try to talk to him civilly, my words come out covered in hate and malice. He believes I love Yuki. He wants me to protect her because I "love" her. The truth is, I could never love her the way he believes I do. She is more of a sister than a lover. She is to delicate form my liking. Sisterly love is all I can give to her. This is because I love him. Yes, I love Kaname Kuran. The same man I tried to kill four years ago because of what he was…a vampire. Because vampires ruined me, my life…and my family. Because of them I was moved to live with head master Cross and his Young adopted daughter Yuki. And because of that, I met Kaname for the first time, and tried to kill him. Ever since I have felt regret, he is a careful soul. He only wishes to protect the balance between humans and vampires, a balance that is being tested here at cross academy where vampires and humans coexist secretly. The humans have no idea of the vampires presence, they believe that they are just wealthy good looking night class students, but really they are blood sucking fiends from hell! But what am I saying, I am one of them as well…but Head Master Cross has agreed to let me stay in the day class to help Yuki protect the balance.

Kaname's POV

The gates opened to the hoard of frantically screaming girls. Zero stood by the trees, in the shadows. He seemed to be in deep thought, not paying attention to what was going on around him, but standing toward Yuki as though contemplating helping her.

He was finally knocked out of his daze and began looking at me intently. Outwardly, I didn't seem to notice, but inside…inside my heart was racing, my head was swimming and I never wanted him to take his eyes off of me. I pretended to look toward Yuki, as I should be doing. She loves me, with all of her heart and I wish she wouldn't. I don't want her to be broken hearted when she discovers whom I truly love. But, alas, he could never love me.

It is not uncommon for two men to have a sexual relationship in the vampire community. It is natural and not at all risqué to choose a partner of the same sex. I have picked a very suitable companion. He's strong, handsome, and has the will power to overcome any obstacle. Now if only he'd choose me too…then and just then, I could possibly be happy. I would have chosen Yuki, sweet Yuki but women cannot satisfy my needs. I want someone strong and not so delicate. I require someone who understands the needs and desires of other men. I don't think I want someone to love, no I want someone to have and to hold…but most importantly to own. I need a lover whom I don't have to love. Brute passion works for me, as long as I can be just as brutally passionate as he is.

As I near Yuki, she screams my name but it sounds like a whisper to me. My thoughts are on Zero, not Yuki. I put my hand on her head and pat it as if she were a dog. I tell her she is doing a wonderful job, even though it is clear she isn't. Zero can keep these girls at bay, Yuki is to delicate for this type of work. She is my sister, I wish to protect her but it is difficult when I'm infatuated with the man I need to protect her.

I leave her flustered and walk away from the screaming girls to go to the school building. I get far enough away to risk a look back at Zero, but when I turn I find him standing there right behind me.

Zero's POV

Kaname turned to look at me? No, he turned to glance at Yuki. I must speak with him though. My hunger is getting to be insatiable, Yuki's blood isn't enough for me anymore. I need more… much, much more. I need Kaname's blood, his blood will keep me at bay for a time.

"Kaname," I say bluntly, trying to hide the desperation in my voice as my cheeks redden.

"Zero?" His voice is soft and smooth, as though he doesn't want to scare me away. "Zero, I know-"

"But…" the look on his face tells me to let him finish.

"You need sustenance, yes?" he turns and begins to slowely walk away from where I stand. "Fallow me." my legs seem to have a life of there own. I begin walking with him, leaving Yuki to make sure the day class students return to the Sun Dormitory.

As we walked the wind blew, tossing Kaname's hair this way and that. I could smell him, hi scent was everywhere because of the wind. He smelled of lavender and honey, a soft smell I could tolerate and enjoy. We walked for quite sometime until we got to a place I had been to many times on patrols. We were in the tree enclosure behind the school. When we stopped Kaname did something I never expected. He removed his his jacket and shirt, leaving his upper body bare.

"We cant make a mess on my uniform now can we?" he said these words with such nonchalance it was as though he did this type of thing on a daily bases. "Now, Zero, drink." He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into his embrace. He held my head to his throat, his blood was pumping rapidly…I could hear it, see it, smell it. I couldn't control myself anymore, my needs were to great. His heart beat enticed me, it sounded like a taiko drum, b-bmp b-bmp b-bmp! My self control gave way and I lowered my head the rest of the way to his skin. I sank my teeth into his savory neck, enjoying the flavor. His blood was better than his scent! He tasted of passion fruit and pomegranates…I no longer had power over myself, the vampire side of me came out of its deep dark corner of my mind, and I drank more and more of Kaname's blood.

Nothing made sense, why was he doing this for me? Was it to protect Yuki? Or did he actually care for me? I leaned away from him, and realized that while I was enticed in his flavor we had fallen to the ground. There was a feeling in the pit of my stomach and when I looked to Kaname…the expression on his face told me I was right.

He breathed heavily and it seemed as though his heart rate had slowed considerably. Breathlessly he began, "Zero…"