Disclaimer: I just wish I owned Leonard. And a pet-Sheldon. And a had a best-friend-Penny. And a huggable-Raj. Howard... I'd keep him around for comedic entertainment, and would enjoy having sexual banter with him.
Definitions of Leonard
Chapter 2: Continuation
Leonard stepped into his apartment and closed the door behind him with a soft 'thud'. He heaved a sigh and dropped his keys in their designated bowl. Sheldon was still at work, working on his new publication. Leonard would have to go pick him up in a few hours, but he had wanted some time and space all to himself.
He sat in his usual chair, debating if he was going to turn on the television or not. He decided against it, feeling that the quiet of his apartment was nice after a long day of lab music, chattering, and long explanations from Sheldon (mostly on the deficiencies of Leonard's experiments, and the absolute genius of his own publication - something Leonard felt he really didn't need right now).
continuation |kənˌtinyəˈwā sh ən|
noun [usu. in sing. ]
Leonard figured his current emotional state could be labelled as in a state of continuation, which surprised him slightly. He had expected his 'situation' to have two outcomes - to either get better (improbable), or to get worse (probable). It was slightly reassuring that he was not, in fact, feeling worse, but it was discouraging to not be feeling any better either.
He felt he should have been able to predict this. As an experimental physicist his experiments rarely had an outcome that could be quantified strictly as good or bad - the results were normally represented in numbers, the answers in degrees of proven or disproven, and sometimes nothing happened at all. Though that was considered a failed experiment (unless the point was to prove nothing happened when you stimulated a variable).
The action of carrying something on over a period of time or the process of being carried on.
He was carrying something over time - unrequited love, desperation, and depression. He just couldn't let it go; couldn't get over that there was just something about him that couldn't be loved. He just couldn't make things work, no matter what he did, and it frustrated him to no end. Being wrong was one thing, but completely failing to make any progress or facilitate and results but one was ridiculous. The only answer Leonard could find was that maybe love was just not possible for him to experience (at least one that was requited). Every test he did ended up failed.
The state of remaining in a particular position or condition.
Remaining in the same condition - Leonard knew he had to break out of this emotional state, but how? He wanted to at least understand why this was always seeming to happen to him. If the experiment fails you have to know why, so you know for next time, or to find out if there should even be a next time. He wanted to be able to change his behavioural patterns to change the result. Altering the variable, if you will. It was a sound experimental practice, so why shouldn't work for his life?
A part that is attached to and an extension of something else.
A part of him was attached to Penny - belonged to her and her alone. Leonard had been hurt and rejected before - by his own mother, for goodness sakes, but it was Penny that had pushed Leonard over the edge. He had thought he truly loved her - that's why he had told her as much. She had pushed him away, but she could never change his feelings for her. He couldn't just order himself to be okay with this, to break that attachment he had formed.
Leonard sat for a very long time in the silence, thinking about Penny, his life, and even his work. He stayed like this until the buzzing of his cell phone indicated that Sheldon was ready to be picked up and go out for dinner.
AN: I'm having tons of fun writing this. I love the dictionary and thesaurus (yeah, I'm an uber-geek). Great episode of BBT this week - I can't wait for the next one! (I read the set reports and it's going to be AWESOMELY awesome!)