Authors note: I have recently come back to fanfiction after several years. I am redoing the stories that I had started. So this is actually another chapter 1, and I will continue the story soon. I haven't deleted my first attempt because I think it is interesting to see how it has been rewritten. At some point I will either delete it, or move it somewhere else. (I'm still trying to work everything out). Without further ado, I present chapter one of "Shiny black car".
I don't own the characters, etc.

Chapter one:

My name is Stephanie Plum - Steph to my friends and family. Stephanie to my mother when I've messed up. Two months ago I got fired from my job as a discount lingerie buyer. Something about "not being a team player". That's the official reason anyway. My creepy old boss didn't believe in personal space, and I called him out on it one too many times. It's one thing knowing your boss is creepy, but it's another dealing with 'friendly' pats on the back that lingered, and the breathing down my neck when I was giving him a report… Anyway. He offered to let me make it up to him by going on a date, but I wasn't going to beg. I tried to file a report with HR, but according to them he was just being friendly and inclusive. I left and didn't look back.

Now, two months on, I kind of regret not following up a bit more. Jobs aren't easy to get in this economy, and being fired from what is essentially an unskilled job doesn't really look great on my resume. I've had a couple of secretary gigs, but both times got replaced by someone younger, prettier and more smiley. I never could get the hang of fake laughs.

In the last two months I have gradually sold my unessential appliances to make up the difference for my rent. My little apartment is nearly as bare as when I bought it, and I'm rapidly running out of other options for income. I guess I could move back in with my parents, but that's not what I call a desirable option.

So I decided to blackmail my cousin Vinnie into giving me a job. He is what you could politely refer to as 'sexually experimental', meaning he likes to experiment with all sorts of people and animals. His wife is about the only person in the Burg who isn't aware of his extra-marital activities and he wants to keep it that way. Vinnie owns a bail bond company and is always complaining of needing someone to do the filing but I suspect what he actually needs is someone that can stand him and also do filing. Perhaps also supply ear plugs as his office isn't as sound proof as anyone would like. I saw an advert in the paper for the position, so he must be getting desperate. Interviews are today, and that's where I'm heading. I guess going from one creepy boss to another isn't exactly moving up in the world, but my standards have been dropping the longer I have been without a stable income. I rang up my grandma to ask if I could borrow her powder blue Buick (the repayments on my car fell behind and it was repossessed a few weeks ago).

So I am currently driving a car older than I am, hoping to blackmail my cousin into giving me a job. This isn't exactly how I imagined my thirties would be.

I reach the office and the small parking lot behind the office is filled with cars. I didn't think there would be that many people there, but I suppose jobs are hard to come by at the moment. There is only one spot left, between a small brick wall and a shiny black car. I stop for a second and squint my eyes, trying to estimate whether I can fit in the spot. The black car, which looks new and expensive, is parked a little to the side, leaving me less room than I would have hoped for. Smart Stephanie says that there is no way my big, blue car can fit into the spot but Stupid Stephanie feels sure the Buick will fit. As is too often the case, I listen to Stupid Stephanie.

The scraping noise as I ease into the parking spot does not sound good. I curse under my breath and reluctantly leave the car to survey the damage. I groan as I see the huge scratch on the side of the car. I look anxiously around to see if anyone noticed. I wait a couple of beats and no one comes out. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I try to think of what to do. I quickly debate running away and pretending it wasn't me, but dismiss that thought almost immediately. I may not have a job or boyfriend or money in my bank account, but I do have my integrity. I rummage around in my handbag for a pen and paper. My hands are shaking as I scribble my name and number. I tuck the note underneath a windscreen wiper, wincing as the wiper smacks back onto the windscreen with more force than I intended.

I look around again and freeze as I see a slim man dressed all in black coming from the office. He is on the phone, and his eyes narrow as he sees me. My eyes widen as I realise that he is probably the owner of this car. A scream escapes my mouth as I panic and jump back into the car. I turn the ignition and chuck the car into reverse, wincing as a scraping noise fills my ears. My heart is pounding as I try to reverse quickly without hitting anymore cars. I see the man come up to my door, so I do what any rational person would do. I lock the doors and keep reversing. I manage to turn this monster of a car around, and I leave the parking lot without damaging any more cars.