Hey everybody! Thank you so much for the reviews, they mean so much to me. The latter part of this chapter I'm not too fond of, it brings back pretty unpleasant memories, but at the same time, it brings back wonderful memories. How can you not remember every last tear, smile, heart felt goodbye? I hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it!
"Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me. Oh, I want to rush to the start. Running in circles, chasing our tails, come back as we are. Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, nobody said it would be this hard. Oh, I'm going back to the start." The Scientist, ColdPlay.
~Logan's POV~
"Kendall! You have to do something- you can't keep going like this!"
"Bug off, Logan! I'm fine! It doesn't even hurt anymore. You over-reacting! It's not cancer, it's not serious. It will go away, stop pretending to be doctor, you don't know a thing!"
"Ken, I'm your best friend, I'm like your brother! I just want to help you! If anything happens, I- we'll never be able to live with ourselves…and I can't stand that your hurting! Please, Pl-"
"Logan, just forget it. I can take care of myself. If your not cool with that, than you can just forget me and hike a ride back to Minnesota, go to school, become an actual doctor, so you can do something for once." A flicker of something unreadable blazed through his forest green eyes. It stung. Since we were four, we have never had a fight like this. I kept telling myself Kendall didn't mean it. It was just the pain that was making him so on edge. I don't know what happened. Our leader, our sweet, loyal, strong Kendall.
After the exchange of cold words, things calmed down. An awkward tension still hung in the air, it's been almost a week. I lay on the couch, throwing hockey puck in the air. Usually, the act of gravity that brought it back down to my face would intrigue me. But the only thing on my mind was Kendall.
"Hey, Buddy," The couch swings low, welcoming James' weight, "You can't keep moping there forever. Kendall will snap out of it. And I know Camille wants to see you."
I try to smile, I really do. But life feels like it's just crashing down. Carlos is jumping on that trampoline again. I listen to the springs go bounce, bounce, bounce. The light shifts through the windows. This is not how Saturday's are supposed to spent. Just then, a tired blonde pops his head out through the door. My heart clenches.
"Hey, Kendall. How ya feelin'?"
He doesn't answer. He walks carefully, I try not to notice the way his leg shakes with effort with the less-than-normal weight put on it. I try not to notice the collar bones protruding.
One thing you should no about me- I'm really not a violent guy. My fights don't go more than a few slaps or pushes, playful, always. But it took ever nerve of my body to not run and tackle Kendall, beat him unconscious and pull him all the way to the hospital.
He comes toward me, flops down in between James and Carlos, who has abounded the trampoline. He take his helmet, looks at it then at Kendall, and, something I have never seen before occurs. He puts the helmet on Kendall, then hugs him. Then James is next. And soon, I can't help it. I'm pulled into his familiar embrace, warm and comforting, and just Kendall. He speaks close to my ear.
"I'm so sorry, Logie. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean anything I said. I couldn't imagine doing this without you- with out any of you. I don't know what in the world has been going on, but man am I sorry…really, though, I am fine. I know my leg had been causing me trouble before, but you've gotta trust me when I tell you I'm fine."
"Okay, it's okay. I'm sorry too, I guess I overreacted." I hated to apologize when I really didn't mean it. But even so, everything was going to be okay. Kendall was right, I should have trusted him. It is his body, after all. No matter how sick he looked.
"Does that mean you'll go on the trampoline now!"
"Um, maybe another time, Carlos…I-I"
"But you said you were fine, right?"
"Well, yes, but I don't think it's such a good idea."
"Kendall, if you really are fine, you would do one jump on the trampoline, c'mon, for Carlos' sake?"
"Okay. I'll do it."
"What?"
"I said I'd do it."
I wasn't expecting Kendall to actual do it. I couldn't tell if he was going to suck up the pain and do it to prove he wasn't lying or if he actually was fine. My mind reeled back to that glowing screen, "Symptoms may include weakening of effected bone, often resulting in fractures…." I wanted to stop Kendall, if he really was fine, he would let us take him to a doctor, not do something stupid like this.
But it was too late, Carlos was bubbling with excitement, and James was leaning over him.
"No, Carlos…I don't think Kendall is strong enough yet-"
"Nonsense, Logie. Kendall is fine, he said so himself."
"James-"
"Okay, you just jump and than sail all the way on to the couch! It's such a rush!"
Everything stood still. Kendall jumped, but he didn't fly threw the air or end up on the couch. Dust particles caught the dying sunlight, the door opened, welcoming Mrs. Knight and Katie, a sea gull cried, but the sounds above everything else was a sickening crack and then the deafening sound of Kendall's pain-filled yelp.
~James' POV~
The last time Kendall was sick, he was nine and wouldn't admit to it. He had the flu, had to go home after throwing his guts up during hockey practice.
Kendall's different from the rest of us, he doesn't like to feel weak. He'll ask for help if it's a girl, if it's a friend, or somebody else, but not for himself. It's not selfless anymore, it's past that point. Kendall and I are both proud, but in different ways. I'm proud about my looks, my gorgeous hair that looks slightly side-swept, my full lips, amazing tan, surf board abs. Kendall was proud in the fact that he wouldn't admit to weakness. That's why he got on the trampoline. He thought we would be fine and we would all get off his back, but it backfire, big time.
Now, we're in the ER. It's busy, a 14 car pile up left almost 16 people injured, as it has been unusually foggy. Kendall is sleeping in the cot, as his mom holds his hand. Logan has been quite. Wallowing in pity. He wanted to stop Kendall, he really did. I am just as guilty, I pushed Kendall to go on the trampoline.
We had been seen by the first nurse, who hadn't done much but take his blood pressure and such, then another nurse came in and put a tube in Kendall's arm for morphine. Than Logan and Mrs. Knight talked to the doctor, and a few other people came in to take x-rays. That was over an hour ago, and people keep fluttering in and out of the room.
Carlos is in the play room for little kids, I'm almost jealous. I want to be anywhere but here, in these cheap plastic seats. We didn't think it would be a good idea for Carlos, who's scared of needles, to come in the treatment room. And the hospital was no place for a ten year old, so we left Katie with Kelly.
After the fall, Mrs. Knight rushed over to her son, who was grimacing in pain. Logan- Logan froze up. He couldn't even form words, and I bend down to try to help Kendall up.
"Carlos, take Katie to the studio, we're taking Kendall to the hospital. Logan? Logan! Help us get him into the car!" And Logan supported one side of Kendall, while I did the other. He was frighteningly light. His leg was snapped in two, twisted in a sickening angle. He writhed in pain the whole way here and it took almost an hour for somebody to see him because of the injured people in the pile up. I just wanted to saw "Screw them! Fix my best friend!" But I couldn't. For the first time in my life, I felt insignificant. I felt worthless, useless. I'm sure Logan felt the same. It just wasn't fair.
The door opened, a few more X-ray technicians stepped in. Mrs. Knight backed up, as the large equipment was balanced over her son's chest.
"Excuse me, but why are you taking X-rays of his chest? His leg is broken- fix it!"
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I know your worried, but these are just orders. I can send the doctor in as soon as he's freed up. I don't know anything else."
"Can't you do anything? I just want some information- he's my son."
I lifted my head, the young tech had glasses and dark stubble around his chin. His eyes were kind and gentle.
"Listen, he's stable. He's not in pain thanks to the morphine drip, he's resting. He'll be fine. Right now, the doctor is very busy with the car-crash victims. He'll be out to cast up his leg as soon as he's done."
Once the doctors and nurses bustled out, another one came in. A plump lady took Kendall's vital signs, then left. Mrs. Knight put her head in her hands.
I notices for the first time how crowded the room was. It was small, a television playing on mute in the back room. A pink and green curtain separated Kendall's bed form the door, small windows, the kind that didn't open, kept out the inkiness of the night. Monitors hung on the wall, but none of them were attached to our blonde friend.
He lay fragile in the bed, brows creased, but peaceful. I'm not sure how much time I spent looking at the abstract picture that stared me down, but the nurse was suddenly flustered. She left and came back with several more in tow. A clear, thin tube was now running under Kendall's nose, and the nurse looked at his mom sympathetically.
"What is going on here! What's wrong with my boy!" Mrs. Knight was blowing up, but none of did anything, "We have been here for hours and nobody is telling us what is going on! I just want to see the damn doctor!"
"Ma'am, your son's oxygen saturation levels slightly lower than normal, it's not threatening, but does call some alarm. We're just giving him some extra oxygen to make it easier for him, we're trying to find out why his blood oxygen gasses are so drawn," The nurse puts her hand on Mrs. Knight's arm, "I will get the doctor immediately. We have just sent Kendall's X-rays to the U.C.L.A. Children's hospital for a second opinion, there were some complications,"
"Complications?"
"There were some abnormal masses found in your son's leg and lungs. I'm sorry, that is all I know."
The nurse left and Mrs. Knight and Logan stood, flabbergasted.
None of it made sense to me.
A worried Mom was up late through the night. The clock neared midnight, she stared at her son, her baby boy.
They had come in nearly four hours ago for a broken limp, and though the night nurses came in to do more and more tests. Blood draws, X-rays, now a base-line EKG was tangled on her son's chest.
A brunette was asleep on a small plastic chair, his back turned so nobody could see his tear streaked eyes, another male caught glances of himself in the mirror across the room.
The small, but well-equipped emergency room was strangely mute, but outside the room, the hospital was vivid, exploding in bright lights, orderlies running out with the gurneys, and a lone doctor with a grim expression headed into the room containing a sick blonde. In his hands was a folder with test results.
As the door opened, the mother rose.
"May I please have the other boys step out? Mrs. Knight, you might want to have a seat."
"What's wrong with my son and why do they need to step out?"
The teenagers, not wanting to cause anymore trouble, rose. They cast a wayward glance at their best friend, but left the cool room, going to unite with their Latino friends.
The doctor let out a sigh as he clipped the X-rays to a lit holder. He extended his hand to shake the worried mother's.
"I'm doctor Callaway. I work with the UCLA Children's hospital, my friend, doctor Larkins called me in, we are having Kendall transferred by ambulance to my hospital. I want you to go home, pack a bag, and meet me in the emergency room. They will be waiting for you. I know it's been a long night, I know you are confused, but your son appears to have a collection of cells, or a tumor, engulfing his femur, pelvis, and have started to penetrate the walls of his lungs. Your son has bone cancer, we want to do a biopsy of the tumors. This can either be classified as osteosarcoma or, worst case scenario, Ewing's sarcoma. I am not sure of the progression, until we do the biopsy, there is not much I can tell you. I am so, so sorry," He brushes his hand through the oblivious teenager's hair, "Missus Knight, Kendall is very sick. I don't want to scare you, but there is a very real possibility that your boy won't be going home with you."