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As quick as he could Peeta headed back to her house. Her eyes were closed and she was huddled to his chest. He hoped there was no damage from her exposure. As he jogged up the path to her house he saw Greasy Sae had left a fire for them. At least it would be warm inside. He carried her through the door and laid her by the fire on the closest couch. Her clothes were damp from the snow and she was shivering violently. He knew she needed to get out of her clothes, warm up in the shower, and eat something warm in front of the fire. He prayed this is all she would need. His decision made, he turned towards her. She finally seemed to be aware that he was with her.
"W-what are you d-doing here?" she chattered out.
"Why were you laying in the snow without a coat?"
She had no answer but more chattering teeth.
"You need to get your clothes off and try to warm up in the shower."
She didn't move so he picked her up again and walked upstairs to the bathroom.
He set her down on the toilet and turned the water on hot. The room started to steam up and Peeta looked down at Katniss.
"Do you, uh, need help?" he looked at her inquisitively.
As she started to warm up she was thawing out physically and emotionally. She was just so tired.
A quiet "no" escaped her lips but she made no effort to move.
He debated his next action. They had seen each other in less, but somehow the intimate location in the bathroom seemed different. But she really needed to get out of her wet clothes and warm up. He knew she was modest though and an image flashed to his mind when she first found him concealed in the games. She had refused to look at him naked and had gotten all red faced. He bent down and took off her boots.
"How about I turn around and wait while you shower?" he suggested. "That way if you need anything I will be right here."
A small nod was all he got.
She was so, so cold and the warmth of the shower was fogging up the air around her and the shower was beckoning. She knew it was illogical but she didn't want him to leave. She definitely didn't want him to see her pathetic and scarred body though. Not that he would care, or even be affected by it but she didn't want to be stripped bare in front of him. Her clothes were a barrier.
Shakily she stripped down to her underwear and stepped into the shower. Once inside the protection of the frosted glass she pulled off her underwear as well. The shower felt scalding on her frozen skin but she welcomed the physical pain. The mental pain of thinking Peeta had left her was too difficult to bear right now and she relished the painful water. Still trembling she washed her body and her ragged hair. As she finished rinsing she realized she hadn't brought any clothes into the bathroom because he had carried her.
She tried to get her voice to work loud enough to be heard.
"C-can you get me some clothes?"
Peeta walked over to her dresser and grabbed a warm looking pair of sweatpants, a tank top and a sweater. Trying not to pry he quickly looked for a pair of underwear. He finally found some plain panties in a drawer. Heading back to the shower he could partially see her outline through the steam and frosted glass. Although he couldn't make anything out, he knew she was beautiful. If he weren't almost as cold as she was he might have taken a second look but he wanted to take a shower, and he couldn't while she was in there. He threw a towel up over the side of the shower stall and hung her clothes on the towel rack.
"Katniss? I'm going to go sit in the bedroom until you are dressed. Let me know when you are done."
She had a quick moment of panic before a part of her brain remembered he was being a gentleman. She grabbed the towel and wrapped it around herself like a cocoon. As she stepped out she was glad the mirror was fogged. She hated mirrors, hated seeing the unknown person staring back at her through the glass. As quick as her cold and weak body could, she put on the clothes Peeta had put out. Hair still dripping she walked into her bedroom. He looked wet and miserable, and she realized how stupid she was for running off in the snow. He was suffering again because of her. Did she know no bounds when it came to hurting him?
"I grabbed some pajama pants from one of your drawers, I hope you don't mind" he called over his shoulder as he stepped into the bathroom. She watched his back as he took his shirt off but then looked down in her lap when he started on the rest. She didn't think she deserved to look at him. She heard the shower start up again and him step into it. He was quick, and the whole time she just sat on her bed, hair dripping all over the place. When he came out of the bathroom she realized she had been partially holding her breath waiting for him to return. Waiting for him to get close to her again. She was starved for human contact and could barely bear it.
"Um, sorry about the lack of a shirt. I couldn't find anything big enough." She watched him walk towards her in the pajama bottoms bare chested. "Lets go down to the fire and warm up. We can dry your hair faster down there."
She didn't realize her hair was still dripping in a knotted mess. Peeta grabbed a comb and pulled Katniss downstairs to the fire. He gently led her to the sofa closest to the fire and put a blanket around her shoulders. He sat behind her and picked up the comb and methodically started untangling her snarled hair. She remained motionless and silent, thinking about how when she was little her mother would comb her hair out by the fire. With Peeta it seemed like such an intimate gesture, even if it was just her damaged hair.
As he started to finish the detangling he found himself going slower and re-combing hair he had already been through. Katniss had finally stopped shivering, and she seemed to like the combing. He had never told her, but he had always had a thing for her hair. He liked the long braids she had worn the first day he saw her when she was five, and he liked the single long braid she had worn when she was older. He had seen it down for the first time during their training and interviews for the first Games and was even more enraptured. It looked so silky and soft and feminine. And now he was combing it out. Or what was left of it. Much of the length had burned off in the fire that had erupted after the bombing of the children in the Capitol. It had been quite a few months though and it was growing back, some of it touching mid-way down her shoulders. It was all jagged though as if no one had thought to fix it past cutting out the burned parts. It didn't matter. He still liked it.
Feeling drowsy by the fire, exhausted by the cold, and comfortable being surrounded by Peeta the stylist, Katniss felt something she hadn't felt in months. It wasn't hope, but it was the thought that maybe she could survive, or live or at least pretend as long as he was here with her.
Without saying anything Peeta finally put aside the comb and leaned back into the couch. He tugged just a bit on her blanket and she slowly fell back into his arms. He didn't know if she would allow him to hold her, and she didn't know what she wanted but she was so tired and his arms felt so warm.
Slowly they drifted off to sleep in front of the fire, silent but for the thoughts in their heads.
As Peeta slowly woke up many hours later he felt better than he had in days. He was warm and felt almost at peace. The events of the previous day came rushing to the front of his mind and he looked down to see Katniss wrapped up in a blanket, between his legs laying on his chest. The fire had burned down to embers and the first weak rays of light were coming through the window. He took a moment to just try to remember this feeling. It was the closest he had felt to her since the hijacking, and though his memories were still confusing at times, the ones of her were starting to become clearer. She had never loved him but she did care. He knew she cared even if she wouldn't admit it. Why had she run away yesterday? Was she suicidal? After all they had been through it didn't seem like her, but what other explanation?
Katniss slowly woke up and realized she couldn't remember any nightmares. It was impossible. She always had nightmares. Except some of those nights on the train with him, which felt so very long ago. She realized she was wrapped in a blanket and cuddled against something warm. Him. She remembered now. She thought he had left her and she tried to run away from the hurt. All she did was almost freeze them both to death. She hated herself but selfishly hung onto the last remnants of the contented feeling she had when she woke up.
Eventually Peeta started stroking the top of her hair.
"Katniss" is all he softly murmured for many moments. Eventually, "What were you doing out there?" She said nothing. Nothing seemed adequate to explain how she felt.
"I was worried sick about you. I ran all over the village looking for you," Peeta said with a slight hint of admonishment in his tone.
When he thought she was never answer he finally heard in a small voice, "You didn't come for breakfast."
"So you ran to the woods?" He was having trouble understanding her logic.
"I thought you weren't ever coming over again."
Sighing he rubbed his hand over his face. "I had a bad night and overslept."
Guilt and self-loathing rose up in her. He had overslept because he was having nightmares, possibly worse than hers, and all she had thought about was herself. That he had given up on her. That wasn't his style and she knew it.
She didn't know what to say.
"Katniss" Peeta breathed. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to go away ok?" Until you push me away he thought. And even then, I'll probably stay around like a fool, hoping you will change your mind.
She was still at a loss for words so snuggled deeper into his arms. She knew he cared for her, most likely didn't love her anymore but she relished the human contact. She hoped her embrace expressed her gratitude. She would never stop owing him.
Later Peeta excused himself to the bathroom, stoked the fire, and heated up some of the food Greasy Sae had made the day before. He and Katniss spent a quiet day together, never far from each other. That evening Sae came again to make dinner but left shortly after preparing it. After they ate Peeta got up and headed towards the door. They had found him a too-tight thin shirt amongst Katniss' clothes, but nothing else would fit on his frame. She was just so tiny.
Her eyes looked up at him in panic again.
"I promise I'll be here for breakfast tomorrow."
So quietly he thought he hadn't heard it—
"Stay?"
He looked at her pleading and broken face. Of course he would stay if she wanted that. He would always try to make her as comfortable as possible.
"Ok. I have to go get some clothes that fit though. All of your stuff is too small."
For a moment he envisioned her in his clothes, clothes that would swamp her petite frame. He realized he liked the idea.
He walked to his house as fast as he could. He grabbed a few sets of clothing and his coat.
When he got back to her house he realized she hadn't moved from the spot he left her in.
"Hey" he softly intoned. "I'm back."
She still seemed to be lost in her thoughts and so he scooped her up into his arms again and walked upstairs to her room. He gently laid her on the bed and tucked the covers in and around her. He smiled at her.
"I'll be on the couch if you need anything," and he lightly kissed her forehead.
She met his eyes finally and grabbed his hand in hers. She tugged on it until he was sitting on the bed.
"Stay with me."
He knew there was nothing sexual about her request—she wanted to cuddle as they had before and keep the demons at bay.
He slipped into the covers with her and held her close until her breathing evened out and she fell asleep.