Chapter 2

Keep looking through the window pane

Just trying to see through the pouring rain

It's hearing your name, hearing your name

I never really felt quite the same, since I've lost what I had to gain

No one to blame, no one to blame

Seems to me, can't turn back the hands of time

Oh it seems to me, can't turn back the hands of time

- "Groove Amanda" by Jars of Clay

Jack didn't sleep much. He didn't need to and he hated dreaming. Ianto used to chastise him for it. "It's the way our brains clean out the junk that builds up." Jack assumed then his brain would require a demolition squad. But this time, rain rapping gently against the window pane, jet lag, and what was clearly emotional exhaustion were playing tricks on him – "I mean really Harkness, Ianto standing outside in a leather jacket, jeans, and smoking?" he said to himself. It was definitely a result of the flashback – that or wishful thinking. He lay back down on the bed and let his mind drift away. It was rather peaceful and for a few hours, he actually slept.

When Gwen tapped lightly on the door, his eyes opened abruptly. "Yes! Time for tea?"

"Jack." Her face was pale and her voice quivered some. "Jack, someone's here to see you."

"Who? Who other that you all know I'm here?" He sat up and started readjusting his clothes and putting his shoes on. "It's the Institute, isn't it? The bastards tracked me down. Well, I'll tell them! I'm done. I don't want anything to do with them and their crap! They don't have a hold on me anymore."

He started to storm indignantly out of the room but Gwen stopped him. "Jack," she insisted. "It's not the Institute."

He recognized the grim look she could get when she was genuinely worried. He gripped her by the shoulders like he would back in the old days when he wanted her attention. "What is it then?"

She took one of his hands, kissed it and answered, "You'd better come downstairs to the kitchen with me, okay?"

Jack Harkness walked deliberately downstairs. He saw the distressed looks from everyone as he passed them. Each of them had seen their fair share of ghoulish creatures, between working with U.N.I.T., Torchwood, or traveling with the Doctor. So Jack couldn't imagine how what he was about see was any worse. Even Aliyah, who was older than all of them put together had a distressed continence. "Whatever this is, it's gotta be bad if she is horrified." He steeled himself anyway, reinforced that "Captain" label like any military man put on his battle equipment.

As he came around from the bottom of the stairs, he saw the bright sunlight piercing through the windows, fighting against the oncoming evening. The rays were bulleting through the windows, seemingly pushing aside Gwen's pretty yellow curtains. The man he saw early was seated alone at the kitchen table. Rhys, keeping guard, leaned against the sink on the other side of the room, the opposite of the seated man. Jack who was being guarded and from whom.

Jack first noticed the young man's hands, both tattooed, and wrapped around an ornate cup from a set Jack recognized – Gwen and Rhys' wedding gift. The jacket was draped neatly on the chair across from him. Likely Gwen had taken the leather from the stranger and checked for weapons and none was found, thus, it was still nearby. The brown and navy blue plaid shirt over a white tee shirt and dark jeans were quite a contrast to a rather expensive coppered colored Rolex watch. Jack recognized the watch too. He had given it to Ianto as a birthday present.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Jack asked.

The young man lucked up. His eyes were the same pretty blue but the hair was redder and slightly curly. The face was shaped the same but angrier, sullener but still that same face that had been haunting Jack for years now. "You're Jack, Jack Harkness, right?" the young man asked.

He sounded like him too and that was upsetting Jack even more. "I don't know who you are but . . . " Rhys jumped in to stop Jack from attacking the young man.

"Hold on, Jack," Rhys said.

Jack growled at Rhys but Rhys was prepared – Gwen had warned him that Jack was unlikely to understand, likely to be in shock.

Jack heard Aliyah's voice behind him. "Jack, we confirmed this with Rhiannon." She came from behind Jack and stood next to the young man. "This is Gareth Lloyd. He's Ianto's younger brother."

"Ianto would have told me if he had a brother," Jack responded.

It was Gwen who spoke up this time, "Ianto didn't know. He came to Rhiannon's about two months ago. It's taken him this long to track us down."

Jack shook himself loose from Rhys. "Again, what do you want?"

The young man stood up. He was stocky, looked like he had done a great deal of physical labor in his short life. His Welsh accent was thicker than Ianto's. "I am their ½ brother. Our Da had an affair but when my mum got pregnant, he would have nothing to do with her, denied he even knew her. When I was born, we moved to Swansea. She died a while back, cancer. I found the information about Ianto and Rhiannon in her papers. I came to find my kin."

"I'm not your kin."

"Rhiannon said, well, she said you and Ianto were close."

"Yeah, close enough to get him killed." Jack nervously adjusted his clothes, tugged at his shirt collar. "Sorry kid, I don't have anything for you."

Gareth took off the watch, walked over and showed it to Jack. "Rhiannon said she found this with Ianto's effects. It's engraved, 'Rwyf wedi marw aros i chi bob dydd - I have died every day waiting for you – Jack'."

Jack turned to Gwen. "You knew about this? You lured me here for this?" he yelled.

"Jack you won't have come otherwise."

"You could have told him everything. You knew Ianto just as much as I did."

"That's not fair Harkness!" Rhys interjected. "Damn it man, you two were inseparable. We've all told him what we know. It's your turn now. We weren't there when Ianto died."

"It's okay, Mr. Williams," Gareth interrupted. "I have everything I need to know." He put on his jacket and the watch. "Thank you very much, Mrs. Williams. You have been quite kind." He walked past everyone and out the front door.

All eyes fell on Jack. Eventually, one by one everyone left the area until only Aliyah was left. She was furious at Jack's cruelty and selfishness. She grabbed his arm and said harshly, "You know, an indigenous Navajo medicine man once told me, 'A brave man dies but once, but a coward dies many times'."

The bright light illuminating the room earlier left with her.

Jack went back to his guest room in the attic and sulked. An hour later, he heard noise from the bottom of the stairs. The others were gathering to go out. Someone, likely Gwen, said something like, "Don't you think we should get him . . . Not leave him up there alone?". However, the consensus was to leave him there. So they did, some mumbling that he was "changed" and "not the man he was before". Jack supposed they were right. He paced the room. If it had been L.A., he'd be getting drunk and driving the desert or hillside too fast. If he was off-world, on some pleasure planet or intergalactic sex ship, he'd be popping between one orgy or BDSM dungeon to another. In another life, he'd rob banks or con rich old ladies out of their estates. None of that satisfied him now – "Been there, done that, got the tee shirt and dropped it into the thrift bin," he said to himself sadly.

He did feel bad though. Ianto would have told him he needed to at least apologize to the group. Ianto was his conscious, always trying to pull the best out of him. Maybe a better homage to his lover's memory would be good behavior – well, it was, at least, novel. So Jack grabbed his coat. He thought he'd overheard the group was going to a place he passed before he arrived at Gwen's house. If he hurried, he'd catch them before dessert. He'd put on a cheery, cocky disposition – that always, at least, got a laugh, even out of Rhys. Later he'd chat Aliyah. She never got too mad at him, always forgave him after one of her lectures. As for Sarah, well, she never would like him anyway. He dashed down the stairs but looked back at the domesticity of the Cooper-Williams' home. Aliyah once said, when she was nagging him, that he and Ianto could have this kind of life – she said that Ianto was different than his previous partners because "he forgives you, loves you, no matter your transgressions, as long as you are honest". Jack left the house – no sense in dreaming the impossible dream.

The evening breeze was cleansing. He practiced his grand entrance and rehearsed apologetic refrains, trying to choose the most efficient. His mood was improving too. "Maybe I'll contact Rhiannon. Find out where the boy lives and meet him," thought Jack. "I could, at least, tell him how brave his brother was – about how he survived Canary Wharf, tricked me into giving Gwen that key, or when Owen scared the shit out of him and he threw the coffee tray." Jack became determined more than ever to do the right thing.

It was too late though. As he saw the restaurant in the distance and the group still standing in line to get in, he said to himself, "Great! I can do all the apologizing stuff before going inside. There is a chance for a good meal too!" Jack wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He noted his stomach rumbling before feeling the force of the metal object cut across the top of his head and the nasty smelling chemical forced up his nose. Then things went all black.

When he awoke fully, his hands and legs were securely tied to a wooden chair and the sackcloth was removed. He did recall coming to a few times previous with a sack on his head and a feeling that he was in some sort of vehicle moving over a dirt road. Now he was in some dark room, likely a small, empty warehouse outside of town. There was an incandescent light bulb directly over him and another illuminating a stool with books stacked on it. He had to squint but he eventually recognized those books – at least the top three were Ianto's diaries.

"Okay now! I've been kidnapped better than this before, you know!" Jack shouted. The space was definitely empty as his voice echoed well throughout. "You didn't just leave me here, did you? I am starving. I was just going to meet my friends for a meal. Can't we do this over a juicy steak?"

"Ianto wrote you had jokes, lots of jokes," a voice in the darkness said.

"Yeah, and he laughed at them too." Jack squinted again, certain he could see a figure in the darkness. "I'll ask you again, young man what do you want from me? Stories about your brother? Do you want to know what he was like? If he was a good agent, friend, lover? What?"

"I want to know why you killed him."

"I didn't kill him. Not really." Jack's guilt was slipping through in his voice. "I had no idea the 456 would do that. They'd never done that before. I had no idea. I begged them to stop." He was shaking now, straining against the tape.

Gareth came from into the light with a chair just like the one Jack was tied to. His jacket was off, sleeves rolled up revealing even more tattoos – looked like they were done by an Irezumi artist, an illegal style usually found on Yakuza, the Japanese mafia. Clearly this Jones had inherited a darker side of the family genes. "I could never get someone to give me one of those tats," Jack said.

"You can't tattoo or brand. You'd heal before the ink has a chance to set."

"How do you know that?"

Gareth tapped the top of the book stack, "I have every diary Ianto ever filled. He started writing in one in 3rd year. I probably know my brother better than he knew himself."

"How did you get those, young man?"

"I'm the same age as Ianto," Gareth faced the back of his chair toward Jack then sat down. His voice steady, cool with few ups or downs. "That's the rub, the reason my Da rejected my Mum. He'd pushed my Mum to the side when he found out his wife was pregnant. He'd always hoped they'd reconcile. Ianto and I are 5 weeks apart. We even share the same birth sign, though, from reading these, I believe he had a different moon rising."

"I'll ask you again, what do you want with me?"

"Or what? Or you will do what, Harkness, eh?" Jack railed against the tape. "I wouldn't bother. The polymer in that particular type of tape is a personal invention of mine. Gives the term industrial strength a new meaning - made me millions." Gareth reached back and grabbed a thermos. He poured what smelled like tea into the cap, drank some then filled it again and offered it to Jack. "Glengettie? You look parched."

Jack nodded and Gareth brought it over to him. "I'd do better if my hands were loose."

"You'll be fine," Gareth responded while helping Jack drink. "Did you know, Glengettie has been a favorite in Wales since 1952. It is a stronger blend of tea originally brewed for miners and is specially designed to complement the soft Welsh waters."

Jack nodded when he was done. "You seem to know about tea like Ianto knew about coffee."

"Yes, in his diaries, he spoke extensively about it," said Gareth while replacing the cap. Jack thought it odd that Gareth didn't rinse it out first after Jack had used it – something Ianto would have done. "Did you know he started drinking coffee to spite our Da?"

"No, but then again all he would say is that his dad was abusive."

"Verbally only. He was too much of a coward to ever really hit anyone, except once."

"When Ianto said he wanted to go to school, be a librarian," Jack remembered.

"Yes. Da came home drunk from the locale and saw the acceptance papers on the kitchen table, kicked off at Ianto's mum 'cuz she'd signed 'em. The argument escalated and he took a swing at her. Ianto flattened him out cold."

"He left home the next morning. Never saw his father again and his parents divorced shortly thereafter," Jack finished.

"Yes," Gareth said. "What Ianto didn't know is that Da came to me at my Mum's house. I never liked books but loved to read, wanted to see places so I was headed to the Navy. He came in acting like he could set up house, like the last 17 years had been all sunshine and roses. Mum got a couple of coins off of him – figured she deserved at least that – then put him out."

"He's dead now."

Gareth shrugged. Then he dragged a metal lunchbox into the light, opened it and took out a sandwich. He took out one-half from the baggy and offered the other half to Jack. "Egg salad?"

Jack shook his head no. "Okay, has been simply fascinating but this has to do with me how?"

Gareth held up a finger, indicating he needed to finish chewing before responding. "Harkness, . . ."

"Jack, or Captain, please?" Jack interrupted.

"Right now you're captain of nothing and no one. We aren't friends, so Jack is out of the question. And your birth in the 51st Century has not been verified as far I am concerned, so Mister is also out of the question."

"Just trying to be pleasant."

"I think the term is cheeky, actually," Gareth said nonchalantly.

"Whatever, my question still stands. Why am I here?" Jack was getting tired of this game.

Gareth took in a large inhale then said, "I'll rephrase since you're obviously not getting the picture here. Ostensibly, I want some answers about my brother's death. When we only children find out we actually have siblings, there is a natural, almost primitive need to find and bond with those individuals. And when same said former only children find out that their newly discovered siblings have died an early death, the question as to why becomes extremely compelling."

"I told you what happened!"

"Ah, no. You gave excuses that you think explain what happened. However, I have read Ianto's diaries and I suspect there was something more here."

"And when you find out that elusive something, you'll do what?"

Gareth smiled and leaned slightly forward in the chair after taking another bite. "Why, Harkness, I am going to kill you."

"You must not have read those diaries too thoroughly otherwise you'd know I can't die."

Gareth waited to finish the remainder of his half sandwich, resealed the other and carefully replaced it in the lunchbox. He picked up the box and thermos, then said in parting, "Oh Harkness, there are all sorts of ways for a carbon-based entity to die. One just has to have the right science."

Gareth walked out of sight. Jack heard a click and both light bulbs went out. "Wait!" Jack called out. "Wait! Where are you going? You can't just leave me here in the dark." Jack heard a door open, felt a light, outside breeze come and go then a clapping sound of a latch and knew leaving Jack alone was exactly what Gareth Lloyd intended on doing.

The Torchwood fellowship returned to the Cooper-Williams home a few hours later. Gwen, Martha, and Aliyah decided to go up to the attic and see if there was any use talking some sense into Jack. Initially, when they found the room empty, Martha thought he'd left. "Coward! she exclaimed.

Gwen was doubtful, "His rental is still parked outside. He wouldn't leave on foot when he could drive away."

Aliyah agreed but for a different reason. "He's left his Webley and that isn't like him." She touched the device and Jack's duffle bag. Using her Psychometry powers, Aliyah discerned, "He was feeling remorseful. It is likely he went looking for us to apologize."

"Could be he's still looking," said Gwen.

"Yes, let's give him some time to come back," said Aliyah as she ushered the others out of the room and downstairs.

Aliyah went to the room she was sharing with Sarah. Sarah, who was laying on the bed with swollen ankles and less than happy disposition. "Has the good Captain run off again?" she asked.

"No," answered Aliyah, more willing to speak out of earshot of the others, "he left to find us, to apologize but I fear he ended up somewhere less desirable than a restaurant."

"Did you get a vision?"

"No, but it doesn't take psychic powers to know who he is with." Aliyah sat next to her partner and began rubbing Sarah's feet, nearly absent-mindedly.

"Do you get the sense he is in trouble?" Sarah asked, sympathetic to Aliyah's care for Jack more than concerned for Jack himself.

Aliyah tentatively shook her head. "When we agreed with Rhiannon and the others to this ruse, I was skeptical it would help Jack. The Institute wants him back and he has been better off with them than without. I figured the work in America would bring him back, do some healing but the only thing it did was dredge up more, different bad memories. It was a setback, a major one if you ask me."

"And this plan?" Sarah offered her other foot. "You think this could permanently send Harkness over the edge? Ouch!"

"Oh, sorry honey," Aliyah apologized. "Gareth's a tough one. He'll give Jack a good run for his money."

"Ah, okay, now I'm confused." Sarah pushed Aliyah off her feet, choosing instead to get up and make a tub of hot Epson salts instead of trying to get an attentive massage from her wife. "Are you worried about Gareth or Jack?"

"Both. In vivo treatments are inherently dangerous for everyone involved."

"Oh, I can say that's going to be true when Harkness finds out you set him up," Sarah shouted from over the sound of the bath tub water.

"He already knows he's been set up."

"Not to this extent though." Sarah came back out with a half full pan and put it on the floor by the edge of the bed. "When are you going to tell the others the whole story?"

'In a few minutes, otherwise Gwen will worry Rhys to death and he'll send out a search party just to make her happy." Aliyah help Sarah get her socks off and roll up her pants legs. "Let me just help the mother of my child get her feet situated."

"It's always nice to have a partner who's done this before."

"12 times, 3 different planets and four humanoid species, I'll have you know!" Aliyah kissed Sarah's forehead then added, "But this one's the best!"

Sarah rolled her eyes, "Sure, I bet you say that to all your wives!"

"Only the ones with hurt feet."