We Do Not Fall
Summary: It's sometimes hard to understand Sirius, Remus realizes. Perhaps... well perhaps he hadn't known the boy as much as he thought he had... It obviously showed when lack of communication draws the both of them into an exaggerated fight, only succeeding in hurting them both and their friendship. Oh, Remus would make a thousand wishes to take everything back and fix it up, but he can't change it... not after this... (male/male, rated m for mature scenes and sexual content)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Chapter 2
When Remus yawned tiredly from his spot on the couch, the pops in his back and legs told him he had been sitting too long,. He blinked blearily, flicking his wand to check exactly how much time passed.
"Two hours…" he muttered to the room, his mouth widening in a second yawn.
He pulled up his bag that he had found in the bottom of the pile and stuffed his findings in, or at least, the ones he felt he ought to take with him.
The marble, too small to be put in a bag of large things, was put into his pocket and lay coolly against the boy's thigh.
Smacking his lips, he strung the bag over his right shoulder and the rest of the stuff strewn around the room vanished one by one until all that was left were the walls, and Remus.
'My day was probably a lot more productive…' he thought as he left the room, referring to his two friends that had been practicing earlier. 'I should probably show them what I found… they might actually like to go through it all…"
As he went down the staircases, Remus pondered the new room and the things he possessed; he lightly patted his pocket in assurance that the marble was still there. Odd that he would be attached to it, compared to everything else he had now.
"Pumpkin shards," Remus announced to the portrait he stopped in front of, not giving the lady a chance to even ask for the password. His heart jumped in excitement as he walked into the common room.
Suddenly, however, something smashed into his chest, and he felt squashed and uncomfortable.
"Remus!" a voice cried in his ear, and the boy winced at the pitch.
"Dude you have no idea what prongs did at the pitch! He did this one move and looked so stupid…"
Sirius laughed as he manhandled the poor werewolf, who was looking a little worse for wear, and drug him to the Gryffindor couch (that Remus inspected for a moment to make sure it definitely wasn't the one he just was on). He talked animatedly as Remus tuned him out slightly, instead choosing to look around the room and cast a small tempus charm. Perhaps he should wait until Sirius calmed down a little to tell them the news.
James sat on the red chair, as he had noticed, that was completely identical to the one in the room. But it wasn't the chair, as it was a copy. Or rather, the one in the room was a copy.
Remus felt his cheeks turn up and had to fight the urge to giggle at the confusion in his own thoughts.
"… and he fell on his ass and his pants split too… and…." Sirius paused in his rant. "Hey, what'cha smiling for? …Moony?"
The young man felt a chilly hand pat his cheeks, and shake his head slightly. "Oh. Oh yeah, I'm listening."
Sirius raised an eyebrow at the suspiciously distracted tone, and refused to keep talking.
Here was his chance! Remus opened his mouth to tell Sirius about the room he had found, but then felt as if it wasn't quite as important to the others. He decided against it. His reason was his own for the moment, that it should be kept a secret until the room would serve a good purpose to the other three boys.
"Ah I just… eh." Remus shrugged at Sirius who looked at him oddly.
"Why're you out so late anyways? Ah! Finally got a bird?" Sirius laughed loudly in exclamation, leaving the young werewolf to roll his eyes and bat away the hands that were still on him.
"Fat chance Sirius," he scoffed at the boy, who just laughed some more in response.
"Oi, you're good looking enough."
Sirius gripped the boy's cloak and turned him around in his hands after tugging him off his seat. He looked him over quickly, "I mean, you're a little thin and snarky, and a little girly with your long hair," at this, Sirius gestured at Remus' hair and poked his head. "You need a haircut soon. And you always wear these sweat…ers…" Sirius trailed off until his voice was silent, and he stared at the other boy's neckline.
Remus glanced down and drew the necklace out, the pendant bouncing off the light of the fire. "Oh, this? I found this… uh… in the hallway?" Remus winced at his terrible lie, cursing his speaking skills.
The genuine question didn't seem to reach him, so he stared at the boy some more, who was steadily growing more pale.
But as a few moments passed, Remus began to feel a little claustrophobic as Sirius was so close. "Sirius?" Remus snapped his fingers at him."Sirius? Hey… Padfoot?"
Sirius jumped slightly and looked up. "Ah…" He left his mouth open, looking confused at the werewolf with an obvious indication that he knew a blatant lie when he heard one.
Remus frowned and wanted to turn his head away, but stopped as his eyes caught the other boys' grey ones.
'Like the marble…' Remus thought hazily, dropping his hand into his pocket where the glass lay. "Grey…"
Sirius' brow furrowed, but he broke the stare as he looked away and mumbled something under his breath.
The werewolf, slightly uncomfortable as the boy hadn't moved from his spot, swallowed roughly. "You have to speak up, I can't hear you."
The dark haired boy struggled a little before he could look back towards Remus, and opened his mouth. "Yeah that... that was mine."
Sirius shoved Remus back slightly, walking briskly to the boy's dorm entrance.
"What do you mean was?"
Sirius paused at the first step but didn't look behind him as he called back harshly, "Forget it." And then he was gone up the staircase, leaving Remus behind.
He settled down, thinking about the whole awkward encounter, right next to the fire quietly. It warmed his shins as he lifted them onto the wooden table, and pulled out the lone marble from his pocket. He mulled over the necklace and everything else he had brought with him.
His thoughts were quickly interrupted in the quiet, though, as after a minute or two Remus heard people move into the common room. It bugged him slightly that they weren't being the slightest bit quiet, but that was the nature of his classmates. They boisterously laughed as they discussed something that had happened over dinner.
Remus felt a grumble in his stomach. 'I guess pastries really weren't enough...' He brushed his pants off and stood to go put his stuff away.
He passed the loud group, and returned a wave politely as he followed the same path Sirius had into the room.
'Had anyone walked in earlier, surely they would have suspected something….' Remus felt a shiver up his spine, and quickly stopped his train of thought. 'It wasn't anything.' He shook his head as he walked up the stairs and into the boy's dorm, where he stuffed his bag under his bed and turned his eyes towards the other ones, where the curtains inevitably were shut and the clothes hung unfolded.
Huffing quietly, the werewolf mumbled to himself, however he could not stop the nagging feeling of worry that maybe he had made Sirius feel uncomfortable somehow, enough that he ran up here and holed himself away.
But Sirius was the one who got a little too close, not him…
The thoughts confused him, so he banished them for the moment and focused at the task at hand, which was putting his stuff away and eyeing the sweaty clothing in disgust that draped the boy's bed. 'I really wish he would put those away though.'
Remus, you see, always preferred keeping his stuff folded and tucked away in the old wooden drawers next to his bed. Then again, he didn't have as much as Sirius ever owned.
The werewolf pursed his lips as he frowned at the old red curtains hiding the other boy away.
"Y'know, dinners ready so I'm going to head down, you coming?"
Sirius, who knew Remus could hear him, mumbled in reply from inside the covers. "Yeah yeah, I'll see you down there later. M'not hungry right now."
Remus stood for a moment. Not hungry? What a peculiar thing to say. But he'd leave anyway, as perhaps he'd run into Peter or James.
He stepped out of the room, and down the stairs to the common room that was a little more crowded than before. He passed a few Hufflepuffs outside Gryffindor dorm, and nodded to them as they giggled and scurried away.
They probably were looking for James, as always. Flirting with him was their specialty before dinner, however little of a chance of a date they could get. They tried their best, so Remus grinned and gave them some credit for their attempts.
Especially when they went the extra mile to dress up pretty and put perfume on.
Remus caught a whiff of it as they left, girly and strong. And extremely sweet.
'That was a bit too much,' he admitted to himself as he cringed through the cloud of scents.
'It's far too flowery and weird', continued Remus, 'nothing like the chocolate I like or the scent of parchment and grass.' Those were enjoyable things in life, some of the best.
Remus pondered the notion of cake next, delicious cake - he was a sweet tooth after all so you couldn't have possibly blamed him- when he ran into, quite literally, Lily.
"Oh Remus! Sorry I didn't see you there!"
"It's fine, I wasn't really paying attention." Remus smiled down at the bustling girl, who was busy shoving a book and a few parchments away in her backpack. She looked up at him after a moment, smiling back lightly, and started walking beside the boy.
"Do you want to eat together today? I don't see your friends around and mine are out doing god knows what."
"Sure. Sirius is in bed at the moment, and I don't really know where James went. Peter's probably already down in the hall."
"Oh, is he sick?"
"Sirius?"
Lily nodded, and Remus shook his head in reply, settling down in an empty space. "Nah, he said he's just not hungry."
Lily frowned a little and turned to sit down at the table they arrived at. "Not hungry…"
Remus just hummed and grabbed a chicken wing as the girl went silent. He munched happily on the meat as Lily looked thoughtfully at her plate. "He never misses dinner though. Where'd you say James was?"
Remus swallowed and picked up a forkful of rice, "Ah, he and Sirius were out playing Quidditch earlier again, but Sirius came back without James. So I'd say hes still out there or in the bathrooms."
Lily nodded in acceptance and started eating as well, filling her plate up with a couple of pancakes and a biscuit. She had grabbed the syrup when the Great Hall began to fill with more students, and it got much louder. However, there were no signs still of either James, Sirius, or Peter.
Remus, needless to say, was beginning to question their absence. "perhaps Sirius might actually be a little sick…?"
Lily smiled up at him, her fork hovering near her mouth. "Why don't you bring him some food?"
Remus thought of it, and looked down at the table absentmindedly. "Maybe not strong stuff like this. I'll stop by the kitchens I think."
Lily said her goodbyes as Remus got up slowly and walked away from his spot at the table. It was a little ways away from the Great hall, the kitchens, that is, but he found himself standing in front of the painting in no time, due to having no thoughts in his head at that moment. He tickled the pear and hopped through the wall, which led him to the hot room that was full of short elves dashing about, precariously carrying dishes of meals. A peculiar small one startled him as it dodged between Remus' legs carrying a plate of fish. In the corner of the room towards the back, Remus sat down away from the steam and magic, where a small table and a set of chairs was located. Soon enough, interrupting the silence back there, a wrinkly elf came up to him to ask him what he wanted.
Remus stared at the creature warily, then thought for a moment before deciding on a few biscuits, butter, and jam, and threw in a few cookies for his own benefit and another chicken wing.
The elf almost got away, but not before Remus called out, "Make that two wings, actually!"
It left Remus to sit alone at his table, chewing on one chicken wing with the cookies beside him, waiting for the rest of the food to return. He tapped his foot patiently against the leg of the chair as he licked his lips and stared at the wall beside him. Knifes, bowls, and plates lined shelves of old wood in a cupboard towards the left, which reminded the boy faintly of the room he had discovered the other day, and which he knew he should tell his friends about.
Remus felt a little guilty for a moment. 'It shouldn't matter too much. They wouldn't reallycare about some dodgy old room, anyways.' Even he doubted his own thoughts though, swallowing a particular chewy part of the wing. 'It's not as if I found anything really interesting... well... maybe except...' He felt the weight of the necklace upon his collar, the pressure soothing in a way.
Remus grazed his fingers over the opal pendant, the sleekness meeting his rough fingertips that had been painted will a long time's worth of parchment ink. His friends often picked fun at him for that, saying that obviously his studying left more marks on him than changing into a werewolf ever would.
'Am I really that scarred?' He frowned down at the cookies at the table.
'If I am, I shouldn't be wearing something so beautiful...' Remus felt a pang in his chest at the realization that anyone... anyone who would wear this necklace would have to be gorgeous. He was not. He was not beautiful.
'Maybe beautiful isn't the right word though, that really only pertains to women, right?' He dropped his hands from the pendant onto the table, and clenched his fist tightly. He was obviously not a woman.
Which reminded him, didn't Sirius call him girly? Remus tilted his head as he stared at his inked hands.
Surely Sirius was just joking, he wasn't really girly…
Remus paused to sniff his sweater, analyzing what he smelled like. He definitely didn't smell like those girls. A little chocolately, and slightly of cotton and soap. So pleasant, not sparkly and sweet, but rather soothing.
But… perhaps it was not very manly then. Manly was, say, Sirius' or James' cologne. Thought not as strongly put on, it smelled good and spicy. Very manly.
Remus was interrupted briefly by the elf from before, who gathered his dirtied dishes and scurried off among the others. Brushing his pants, he stood up. Maybe he wasn't completely manly no, but he was still a man. He had the mentality and the parts, which he wouldn't ever give up willingly. Remus nodded to himself as he wiped off his mouth exited the kitchens with some extra food in hand for the sick boy. It was much quieter outside that room, proving that everyone was mostly at the hall, and he was pretty much alone.
So much alone that even the common room was unsurprisingly very empty, not counting the two first years huddled in the corner underneath a blanket discussing something between themselves. Remus looked at them longingly for a second, but they didn't notice him, and he trudged up the stairs past them, and into the rooms.
He opened the door cautiously, just in case. Sirius, buried under his covers still, had a magazine in hand, but turned to look at the boy who entered, and obviously noticed the food in his hands.
"What's that for?"
"Oh… uh, this is dinner. For you at least. Everyone else is eating down in the Great Hall." Remus set the plate down on the beside drawers next to Sirius. "I thought you might get hungry later or something since you didn't show up."
"What about you?" Sirius thanked him under his breath after the question, grabbing one of the smaller scones with jam.
"I ate in the kitchens."
Sirius nodded in affirmation, then proceeded to continue to to read the magazine. He didn't say anything more as Remus went to his own bedside, thinking about all the crumbs that would be in Sirius' bed. He flopped down on his covers, suddenly feeling very exhausted, pondering over what to do for the rest of the night. The only thing that came to mind was briefly the thought of doing homework that for once didn't appeal too much to him. Instead, his mind drifted over to the books hiding away under his bed.
Surely no one would question him about them, he was always at the library and read a lot. And only Sirius was here. And he – Remus glanced over to the boy- was preoccupied reading what appeared to be a magazine… With…
Remus looked away, flustered, after his eyes caught the busty girl on the front cover, scantily clad in a bikini. He fought down the heat in his cheeks by preoccupying himself with rummaging for one of the books until he managed to pick one up with the title 'Mated to a Werewolf.' The book was good enough, and Remus agreed with himself that now would probably be a good time as any to read it. Flicking his wand, the drapes closed themselves around him and he sat back gingerly against he headboard, lying against some stacked pillows.
He fingers flipped past the first page and skimmed the table of contents. Remus passed the information on actual mating, as what he guessed was the 'How To', and went over briefly an article of a mated pair, one werewolf, one not.
'…the couple lived in rural Ireland, a house paired well with the two of them. When asked how they dealt with the monthly changes of Raphael, Torus explained that outside, about a block away they had built a small cabin for Raphael. It had all the necessary things, and was safe enough that Raphael wouldn't get hurt in, nor hurt anyone else.
As a reporter, I visited the cabin, and I say it was very put together. Filled with cleaning agents, aid kits, and barred walls, it seems that the two men are very well prepared for anything. I admire their skills of working together to deal with this curse, and I told them that.
When interviewing Raphael himself though, it gave me more insight than I could ever have hoped for into the lives of a werewolf and their changes.
"Every month was terrible before I met Torus," stated Raphael. "It hurt to change and I gave myself so many scars from tearing myself apart. But when he committed himself to me fully, and agreed to be my mate, everything changed." I was informed briefly on the idea that as mates, Raphael would refrain from hurting anyone, and the change was much easier on him. Torus had become an animagus for him, which provided him company even through the loneliness of the nights. The two of them really are the perfect pair.
When asked how they felt about the prejudices about homosexuals, both answered that they knew that the relationship was right, and no one could judge them for loving another. As I report to my readers this story, all I can say is that I agree.
Torus and Raphael are a mated pair to admire, most definitely.'
Remus blinked at the picture underneath the article, the two men kissing happily while wrapped around each other. They swayed slightly in the moving photo, their torsos bare, which clued in Remus to realize the fact that they were both very, very nude.
Remus felt his face flush quickly, his eyes not leaving the photo as he studied it in the quiet of his bed. It was obvious the two were engaging in something hardly appropriate for school, but it wasn't bothering him. In fact, Remus shivered as the two faced the camera, faced him, and one- Raphael, maybe- moved behind Torus. His eyes followed Torus' chest, as the man behind the other drew his lips down his neck. The muscles in their hips moved slightly to bend and gyrate against one another.
Remus felt his breath leave his lungs, as his fingers tingled and his face burned as he stared down at the book. His blood starting to heat up everywhere in response to the picture, and he felt suddenly very, very hot, so very tempted to take off his shirt and... just…
The sound of footfalls jerked Remus out of his reading… and he took a few breaths to calm himself and subside his flushed cheeks, before moving the curtain aside to see if either James or Peter had finally come in.
Instead, as Remus choked, he was met with Sirius clad in low pajama bottoms, and toweling his hair off. His abdomen moved slightly with the motions of his arms, and a trail of hair drew Remus down to the cloth in the front.
Remus squeezed his eyes shut, refusing the urge to look any further down, the picture of the two mates still at the forefront of his mind.
He heard Sirius cough slightly, and he flashed his eyes quickly over to the boy's face to see him grinning cheekily down.
"Oi, you alright there?" Sirius' grin widened at the image of Remus attempted to speak. "Well I know I am quite hot. You're pretty lucky to see me all wet and nake- Hey!"
Remus grumbled after he shook himself slightly and turned away, glad he could snap himself out of the moment by tossing a pillow at the boy's face.
Sirius plucked the endangered pillow off and laughed quietly at the other. "No need to go around throwing things, y'know I'm just messin' with you."
As Sirius turned back into his bed, Remus frowned at his covers.
It was just a joke… Yeah.
He doesn't even like guys, it's just that…
The picture got too much into his head.
Remus let out a shaky breath and tried to get rid of the plaguing picture in his mind of the two mated men in the book, rubbing against each other in pleasure.
It's just a book, that's it. It's a book…
He fell asleep lying on the covers, not bothering to pull them up, with the book hidden sloppily underneath his pillow.
Hope you guys enjoyed, and sorry for the wait! Leave a review if you'd like, as I could always use input on whatcha guys think.