CHAPTER 2
As we walk out of the abnegation building, we come out onto yet more concrete buildings; Houses. Just two blocks away from my home. I feel a twinge of guilt. My old home, I correct myself suddenly, suppressing the feeling like vomit when I remember what that faction tried to do to me. It tried to wear me down into a shell, no substance or personality. But I don't live there anymore, this is my home now. However, I am the only abnegation transfer in this crowd, so I get a few strange looks over gold-trimmed glasses. But nothing that concerns me because my head is buzzing from the recent events. I feel adrenaline pumping from my pancreas around my body, or is it the hunger for knowledge rising inside of me again?
We walk very calmly, I take an educated guess that we will be filling into silver vans and hurtling towards where I will soon be spending the rest of my life, on the other side of the city, in Erudite. It finally settles in. I feel free. Where I will soon be spending the rest of my life, on the other side of the city, in Erudite. I repeat it over and over in my head, letting the calming remedy it provides work into my long under worked mind. I am ready to be who I was born to be. I am going to change everything, no one should have lived like I had to for all of these years, believing that I was never good enough, that is was failed as a human being because every now and again I would read through a textbook. Well now I can read as much as I want.
I think the main reason for why I feel a need for knowledge is because of my own suppressed life. When I opened a book, listened to some fascinating news about the simulation serum, I feel as though I can escape my dull, boring life to become someone who is worthy of that knowledge, who can take the heavy responsibility of knowing so much about the world around them. Knowledge doesn't make you selfish, it makes you human.
We must have been walking for at least five minutes by now, and there is still no sign of a vehicle to take us to Erudite head quarters. I feel apprehensive about asking someone what is going on, but I decide that it would be wise, and perhaps I may even have the first shot at making some bonds with other human beings, ones that I can have a five minute conversation with before I have to hold back the urge to force a book down their throat.
I look around the people that walk to the same unknown destination. I decide to ask a girl that walks directly in front of me. She has blonde, straight hair pulled back into a knot, like Tris. Trying to ignore the stabbing pain that runs through my middle, I decide to tap on her shoulder. It takes her a few seconds to turn around, but when she does my head feels like it's about to explode. My eyes sting with tears as the shock sends shudders through my body. It can't be, it's not. There is Tris, staring back at me like she doesn't know me. I can hardly breathe. It isn't her, or is it? I blink again and suddenly I realise it is not Tris, but a snobby, olive-skinned girl with deep, black eyes. No, it isn't Tris, I'm just a bit shaken up, and I comfort myself.
"I'm very sorry," I say, breathless, "I guess I'm a bit shaken up from all of this." She rolls her eyes and slightly nods her head, half turning back around. "I was just wondering where we were going, if you possibly knew anything about it?"
She considers this for a while, then replies, "you don't know?" she laughs a little, a snorty, nasal laugh, "it's not far from here. We're going to the fence."
"Why would we be going to the fence, were Erudite? that's Dauntless' job" I retort quickly, trying to keep my shaking voice from wavering any more.
She again rolls her eyes, then replies, "were all required to know about the city and it's boundaries. it's a standard protocol for all Erudite, Ever since Jeanine Matthews was elected leader of this faction." She turns away fully before I can ask her any more questions.
Less than three minutes ago, I was beginning to feel as though I had finally found myself a new home. Now, I am not so sure. I have failed at trying to make my first connection I have in my entire life, and being Erudite seems to be a lot different to what I thought it would be. Why was that Erudite-born so snobby? I hope I am wrong, but it seems as though Knowledge is making these people greedy, feeding their ever-growing appetite for facts. The Abnegation in me wriggles with discomfort, yet the Erudite in me burns with fierce pleasure that I am around people the same as me; I can finally let myself be as selfish, or as selfless as I want.
But i can still not find a logically justifiable reason for why we would even need to go near the fence. why would we need to know about the city and it's borders, when we can't step outside them anyway? half of me craves the knowledge that is undoubtedly coming my way, and half of we wants to run a mile away from the fence, back to my home where my mom and dad are probably devastated by my absence.
And then i smile.