Author's Note: For sanity's sake, I'm going to make the Lucky Star characters middle schoolers, regardless of what they were in the original.

A redheaded magical girl landed on a rooftop, chomping on Pocky, like she always does, when she wasn't munching on apples, that is.

The girl sighed. 'If she's gonna run away from Magical Girl Valhalla and have adventures, then she should at least take me along! We're in a relationship, goddammit. I don't wanna turn it long distance, especially since I don't know any interdimensional phone service...' the girl thought to herself, before slapping herself and going to find her.

"Nice to meet you again! How's it been going? Oh God I am so sorry about your new home..." the nice lady at the door said to mama Hiiragi as she embraced her.

"Oh, it was fine, no worries, they'll say it'll be rebuilt free of charge! Isn't that great?" Ms. Hiiragi replied.

Tsukasa looked at the new house she was moving in. It was lucky that her mom had close acquaintances nearby willing to share living space, or else the her family would've become a troupe of poor, wandering vagabounds.

The style of the new house she was moving into looked vaguely Ultramodern-ish, at least from what Tsukasa knew of the many different types of architechtural styles. It had a sleek white finish on it's outer walls, and lots of glass windows side by side.

And for a moment there, she thought she saw a little boy watching her from behind a well-hidden corner.

"Well... Let me help unpack your luggage, you poor people must be shaken by what happened yesterday..." the woman said, helping their parents pull their luggage inside.

Tsukasa slumped down at what she assumed to be a dining table. Kagami did likewise.

"By the way, Tsukasa, you didn't tell me yet where you got that... big blue rag..."

"Hey, please don't call it a rag, sis, it's far too pretty to be called a rag!"

"Alright, alright, fine, a cloak, then. So, where'd you pick up such a nifty cloak? I sure hope you didn't steal it..."

"What! Does this cute little face look like the face of a thief to you? I got it as a parting gift, of course..."

"From who? From Konata-chan? I can't believe she's classy enough to give you that. I'd thought it would at least have an anime character or two embroidered onto it."

"Mou~ I recommend you not insult the tastes of my best friend, even if she's hundreds of kilometres away..."

"Hahaha, okay then."

Whew, that was a close call...

"Tea or Coffee?" the nice lady's husband asks. Apparently, he's that rare breed of husband that stays at home and tends to the home front rather than win the bread and breaking his back over the unforgiving capitalist beaucracy that comprises the life of a salaryman. Good for him, both sisters thought.

"Tea, please..."

Sayaka's in deep shit now...

REALLY deep shit.

She doesn't think any swear short of the f-word can describe the amount of suckage she just released unto the world.

She only wanted an assistant. Preferably someone who was superstitious enough to not question all the strange shit that was happening, yet still practical and reasonable enough to get her out of almost any situation that got too hot and bothersome.

Like a slave from Ancient Greece.

She, however, didn't expect, of all things, Nazi Zombies from what she presumed to be from an alternate WWII timeline show up. And in here, of all places.

Sayaka sighed. She'll need to find The Doctor sometime. Time Lords are good at stopping these kinds of time shenanigans, right?

She was pretty sure this entire section of the school was already cleared out due to a mass stampede caused by these National Socialists, but right now she could sense two, possibly three people somewhere behind a corner right behind her...

For the love of Madokami.

Well, nevermind, there were only three of them. She'll cream these bastards before they can lay their grubby, disease infested hands on anyone.

But first...

Sayaka struted up to them, clearing her throat to catch their attention.

"Excuse me, gentlemen,..." she said in perfect German (Well ,at least she learned something during her incredibly dull stint in heaven). "...but could you please leave this establishment of learning immediately. I believe you are unnessesarily distrubting school functions-"

The tallest of the Nazi Zombies put a combat knife to Sayaka's throat.

"Why don't you get out of our way, impure one." he spat at her face.

"Yes" said another one of the zombies. "We intend to claim this place as an outpost for the glory of Germany."

"We will purify this building, and after that, the world!" the third zombie said.

"Oh come on now!" Sayaka responded. "Like your toothbrush-stached leader has an omniscient morality license. Only the most powerful of beings in the multiverse are allowed to gain one, officially speaking, though I don't think even they deserve such clearance. Besides, I hope you realise that your beloved leader is long de-"

"Shut up, you."

The Hero of Justice sighed. Looks like they won't go so peacefully into the night. Ah well.

She transforms into her Magical Girl form. Bradishing a cutlass from her backup cape, she cuts them to pieces, first the leader, then his two lackeys. Jets of crimson blood spurted out of them.

Sayaka clears her sword of blood by waving it side to side.

Well, all that's left to do is clean up the-

Sayaka's eyes widened as she watched the bodies of the Nazi Zombies reassemble themselves before her eyes. Craning his neck, and with a blood-curdling sceam that shattered the glass walls of Mitakihara Middle School, the head zombie opened a portal to another dimension, summoning an entire horde of other Nazi Zombies pouring forth from the crack in reality.

Now she thinks even the f-word isn't strong enough to describe what was happening right now.

So she ran.

Rounding a corner, she spotted Tsukasa and another girl with the same purple-hair as she did. A sister, perhaps? Nevermind, they were about the only normals in the vicinity anyway.

"Run!" Sayaka shouted to both of them. Tsukasa, remembering what happened to her the last time she met her, thought it wise to follow her. Kagami trailed behind.

"Who are we running from!" asked an exasperated Kagami.

"Nazi Zombies" Sayaka replied.

"Ha Ha, very funny, now really-"

"I'm totally serious, NAZI ZOMBIES."

"Err, sis, I think we should listen to her... She looks like an expert in these kinds of things..." Tsukasa suggested.

"Yeah! See this cape? This is a sign of my hero cred. You don't question hero cred." Sayaka boasted.

"*Sigh*, she's another crazy one, isn't she? Look, how do I even know-"

*MOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAANNN*

"PURIFY THEIR MINDS. DEVOUR THEIR NEURONSSS!"

Kagami quickly looked back. She did not doubt anymore.

"GAH! HELP MEE..!"

Kagami screamed and jumped into the waiting arms of her hero(ine).

"Quick learner, aren't you?" Sayaka said.

The blunette looked back at them, and so did Tsukasa. Because once you've seen your entire family become mind controlled by manifestations of human despair, then see your house get blown up by a magical girl, Nazi Zombies almost seem normal by comparison.

The blunette sighed in relief. The zombies weren't as slow as the ones she faced in the Romeroverse, but they weren't exactly the quick and agile type. In fact, calling them 'agile' would be like calling a truck aerodynamic. They kept tripping over themselves and over their comrades, sometimes even losing a few limbs as a result. But of course, like Sayaka had personally seen in action, the parts eventually fit back together. The blunette wryly noted, though, that sometimes (Okay, make that most of the time) the pieces will reattach in the wrong places, or even on the wounds of other zombies, creating such shambling monstrosities as a zombie with hands for feet and feet for hands, and another with a face full of eyes and heads for feet, and other hilariously macabre stuff.

"Quick, I'll need some matches, and an aerosol can. Do any of you know where this school's storage compartment is?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know! This is my first day here!" Kagami shouted in reply.

Turning around another corner, they find an old janitor sweeping the floor.

"Hey gramps! We need matches and an aerosol can, stat!"

"H-Hey, wait, like I'm gonna let you kids-"

Before the janitor could finish, Sayaka quickly moved his head arounf the corner, so that he could see the incoming horde.

"Oh my GOD, COSPLAYERS! Here, have this Flamethrower, just remember to clean up the ashes afterwards" he said, handing her a man-portable flamethrower before locking himself inside the storage shed.

"Well, you know what Task Mage Jaya Ballard says: Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire. "

And with those words, Sayaka Miki, Hero of Justice, burned down the entire Nazi Zombie horde with a flamethrower, only stopping to close the tear in space-time using magic.

"Whew, at least that's over and done with" Sayaka sighed in relief, dropping the flamethrower unto the ground.

"This has got to be the craziest day I've ever had..." Kagami remarked.

"Well, it's only gonna get crazier from here on" Sayaka replied.

"You forgot me, blueberry head!"

Sayaka turned around.

"Kyoko-chan, I-"

Sayaka could barely get her words out before the redhead's lips met hers.

What were you doing, going on without me?

Mou~ Kyoko-chan, I forgot...

Sayaka-chan, you know it's dangerous. I don't want to be left out of that!

Mmm, okay Kyoko-chan, you have my word...

A gaggle of students peeked around a corner to them.

"Umm, excuse me, are the scary zombie cosplayers gone already?" one student asked.

IN THE NEXT EPISODE...

Kagami: Aww crap, what is it now!

Sayaka: Vampires, Kung-Fu vampires!

Kyoko: That sounds totally retarded, yet so totally awesome at the same time. I'm in!

Sayaka: Good, because we bought Guile along too!