I don't own Homestuck or any of the characters, unfortunately. This chapter came out a bit longer than intended but it was necessary.
"When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade". Whoever said that must have been a truly optimistic person. But not everyone can share in such optimism, because almost everyone in the world will say at some point that life just plain out sucks. Kankri Vantas is usually one of those optimistic people, however today he just wasn't feeling it. Many misfortunes had befallen the short boy in his favorite red sweater, the most prominent of which had resulted in him missing his classes as he searched a rather large, grass filled quad for his glasses. He only found them, when he stepped on them and broke them in half at the nose bridge. Compared to stepping in dog feces, missing his bus, dropping his phone into a toilet, and losing his wallet, missing his classes and breaking his own glasses because of some jerk really took the cake for him.
Kankri let out a rather gusty sigh as he picked up the broken halves from the ground. At least the lenses were still intact. All he'd have to do was tape them and they'd be good as new, more or less. The dark haired boy pocketed the glasses and retrieved his back pack, along with the stack of books he'd checked out of the school library beside it. Even looking at them made irritation buzz under his skin as he remembered the guy who'd run into him before. The one who'd thrown his glasses into the quad to begin with. Still, it was no use crying over spilt milk, and what were the chances he'd ever run into that guy again? Getting worked up over it now would be pointless, so he pushed his irritation down, slinging his bag on and grabbing the stack of books.
Since he'd already missed all of his classes for today, there was really no point in staying. Had his phone been working, his cousin would probably have texted him already. She was supposed to be picking him up ten minutes ago, and he didn't want to anger her by being too late. As it was she was probably going to chew him out for making her wait so long. His guess turned out right when he hurried to the college parking lot, where Porrim's car idled lazily with music blasting from the speakers. She didn't say anything as he climbed into the front seat, merely, tossing a cold look in his direction before putting the car in drive and starting the rather short ride home.
She finally spoke when they were away from the campus, her words dipped in a faint French accent. "Where are your glasses?" Kankri shrugged, looking out the window. "Accidentally broke them. They'll be fine with some tape." He told her evenly, earning him a curious glance from his cousin though the fringe of her long black curls, different from her sister and mothers short hairstyles. He didn't acknowledge it and they settled into a comfortable silence. This in itself was strange for the short male, as he always seemed to have something to say about one topic or another. Porrim didn't push him, glad for once not to be subjected to a rant about her piercings or tattoos, or how she needed to be more lady-like. When they pulled into the driveway however, Porrim cleared her throat.
"Just a quick heads up. The Neighbors next door seem to have invited us to a welcoming party at their house, and Kanaya is on a rampage." There was a faint smirk on her lips as Kankri let out an exasperated sigh. Kanaya on a rampage meant being forced into an outfit that was probably embarrassing, and that suited her tastes for the occasion at hand. Living with a fashion fiend could be a tad difficult sometimes. "Alright, thanks for the warning." Kankri muttered, getting out of the car and steeling himself for the ordeal to come.
He'd taken one step inside the house when he heard the shouts coming from upstairs. "KANAYA I AM NOT WEARING THIS IN PUBLIC!" An inward groan and he took the steps two at a time, before his little brother got any louder and the neighbors got in a tizzy about disturbing the peace. The yelling continued, leading him to a bedroom with its door wide open, revealing clothes thrown all over the floor, as well as shoes, hats and one very sad looking stuffed animal. Despite the door being wide open, Kankri knocked politely before entering. The scene that greeted him was a shirtless Karkat, backed into the far corner of the room as their cousin stood before him, colorful shirt in hand. Karkat's dark brown eyes were wide in panic, the red streaks of color in the bangs of his black hair mussed and wild. Even without his glasses and everything slightly blurry, he could see the desperation that was his little brother's expression "KANKRI, TELL HER I'M NOT WEARING HER FUCKING-MMMPH!" Kanaya had pounced when Karkat's eyes went from her to Kankri, pulling it over his head quickly.
"Quit whining, dear. It's just a shirt, and you are not wearing that horrendous, tattered thing you call a shirt to a party where the entire neighborhood will be present. They'd think you were some bum off the street come to rob them blind!" Kanaya scolded as Karkat struggled to escape the pale blue shirt with an adorable pink cat face on the front, her accent a little thicker than her sister's. Kankri shook his head, resisting the urge to grin a little. "Karkat, please watch your language. And Kanaya, to which shirt are you referring?" Kanaya merely pointed to a black shirt, sleeves completely torn off with a rip here and there around the torso. Kankri raised an eyebrow, secretly agreeing with Kanaya about what the neighbors would think.
However, Karkat would be difficult to deal with for a week if he went out of the house wearing the cute shirt Kanaya was forcing him into. Not to mention he'd go out of his way to anger the neighbors if that were the case. "Kanaya, wouldn't his ACDC shirt that you like match those skinny jeans he loves so much? Neither of them are even ripped." Kankri suggested, trying to make a compromise. Both his brother and cousin stopped for a minute, Kanaya considering the idea and Karkat most likely praying under his breath that she went along with it.
Finally Kanaya pursed her lips, nodding slowly. "I suppose it is acceptable." Karkat gave a shout of victory and practically tore the blue shirt off, practically shoving his brother over as he made his escape from Kanaya's room. The slamming of his bedroom door was followed by the sounds of loud music, if you could call Stone Sour's 'Do Me a Favor' music. Kankri shook his head, looking over at Kanaya who was eyeing him like a shark that had discovered blood in the water. "Where are your glasses?" Wordlessly he pulled them out of his pocket, showing her the broken halves. She made a disgusted face as she crossed her arms and glared at him.
"Broken glasses don't go with anything Kankri." She said, her tone and jade green eyes accusatory. Kankri shrugged again, secretly glad that she'd said that. It meant that, while she would be irritated with it, she wouldn't be trying to take control of his wardrobe. Now that Kanaya and Karkat had been taken care of, he could relax, have a nice cup of tea before the party their neighbors had gotten Kanaya so worked up about. He taped his glasses up in the kitchen while the tea steeped and his Aunt came in clutching an empty coffee cup and clad in a dress that Kanaya would most definitely find acceptable for the neighbor's party.
"What happened to your glasses dear?" The elder woman asked in her heavy French accent, pulled by a magnetic force to the coffee machine to refill her glass and sitting at the table. Kankri sighed, starting to get a little annoyed with that question. "I broke them on accident. Nothing a little tape can't fix. "Non, non, mon cher, we'll get you a new pair." She said, waving her hand in dismissal of the idea. Like Kanaya, she couldn't stand the idea of an uncoordinated outfit. The fact that she and her daughters were nearly carbon copies of each other aside, they all seemed to share a love for fashion and clothes. Kankri smiled at her, pouring his tea and doctoring it with milk and sugar before he joined her at the table. "Thank you, Aunt Dolores."
The rest of the afternoon was spent in such a manner, Kanaya going nuts trying to decide what out-fit she wanted to wear, Karkat holed up in his room blaring his music, Porrim out in the garage working on his broken down car, and he enjoying pleasant conversation with his aunt. Thankfully, Kanaya had settled on a long red skirt and black t-shirt by the time an energetic knock sounded on the front door. "I'LL GET IT!" Karkat called from the direction of the foyer, his footsteps pounding on the stairs as he rushed for the door. No one else bothered to fight the cranky boy for the privilege of greeting their neighbors first but the silence that followed after a boy's cheerful "Hi!" was unusual.
Kankri frowned, finishing off the last drop of tea in his cup then going to see what had caused the absence of yelling. All he could see in the entry way was a bucktoothed boy with bright blue eyes and glasses, talking to his quiet brother about being their neighbor and how they were holding a welcoming party. Kankri put on a smile as he went to the door. "Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Kankri Vantas, and this is my younger brother Karkat Vantas. You would be?" The boy blinked, then gave a goofy grin, holding out a hand which Kankri shook. "I'm John Egbert, your neighbor. Um, so you guys are coming over to the party, right?" John rubbed the back of his head, his smile hopeful.
"Yeah we are." Karkat said abruptly, scowling. Kankri resisted the urge to stamp on his brother's foot for his rudeness. "Let us get the girls and we'll head on over." He said instead, nodding to the kid with the bubbly attitude that seemed to be silencing his normally loud brother. "Ok! I'll just wait here then." Kankri nodded, leaving Karkat to entertain John as he retrieved Kanaya from upstairs, and Porrim as she finished washing her hands of all the black fluid that had stained her them while she worked on the car. Aunt Dolores was waiting for them in the foyer with a slightly amused smile, John talking exuberantly to a still silent Karkat.
"Why don't you lead the way to your house, since we aren't really sure which one it is?" Dolores prompted John when they were all ready. "Oh, right! Come on over then!" John said, turning around and leading their small procession to the house next door to theirs, already buzzing with the sounds of the neighborhood population. John immediately kidnapped Karkat and the girls after introducing his sister with her tray of food at the door, and Kankri shook his head. John was a rather energetic kid, and it seemed that he could silence Karkat somehow. That thought was put quickly to rest when John said something and Karkat scowled, voice going to top volume as usual. "DON'T CALL ME KARKITTY!" Ah, the pet peeve rears its head once more.
"I'm glad you and your family could make it over, Ms. Maryam, Kankri." Jane said happily to Kankri and his aunt. Dolores smiled cheerfully, making polite conversation before Jane's older brother Jake led her off to the living room leaving Jane alone with Kankri. "Thank you again for hosting this party. It's a very nice gesture." He told her, his words greeted with a delighted smile. "Well, I couldn't have done it by myself! I was a little late getting home and almost didn't have time to make all the food. A friend of mine was kind enough to come over and help me out."
"Well that was most kind of him. Could I perhaps give him my thanks to him as well?" Kankri made it a point to give thanks were thanks were due, a habit his aunt had taught him when he was young. "Of course!" Jane said happily turning to retrieve the man in question then stopping when she saw him walking out of the kitchen. "Oh, Cronus. Cronus!" Kankri couldn't see who she was calling out to from behind her but froze when she moved out of the way and a familiar face appeared before him. The forgotten anger blazed back to life and his eyes narrowed on the male she introduced as Cronus Ampora. "Oh, I believe we've already met." Kankri said softly, smiling politely as Cronus seemed to go slightly pale. Jane blinked looking from one to the other. "Oh, alright then. Well-" She was interrupted by a call from a girl that looked remarkable like John, calling her over with what seemed like an emergency to her. "Sorry, please excuse me for a moment." Flustered she rushed away, leaving Kankri and Cronus alone with each other.
"So, Cronus. An interesting name. I believe it's the name of the titan king, who was castrated by his son before being cut to pieces, and thrown into the pit of Tartarus when Zeus rose to power. In Greek mythology anyway." Cronus seemed to visibly pale at the mention of castration, one hand twitching as if he was resisting the urge to cup himself. "That's some pretty interesting conversation skills you got there Kranki." Cronus snapped, lavender eyes narrowed on the boy in his red sweater.
Kankri stiffened at the twist on his name, a pet peeve for him like Karkitty for his little brother. "It's Kankri. Not Kranki. And I apologize if anything I've said might have offended you." He hissed, polite smile still in place. To anyone who might be observing, it would appear as if they were having a simple conversation, rather than having a bit of an argument. "And I heard that you had a hand in preparing this little gathering, preparing food. I suppose I should thank you for your contribution."
Cronus' eyes narrowed on the shorter male, but before he could say anything else, the door behind Kankri opened and he forced a smile of his own. "Would you like to try some of what I made? It's in the kitchen." Kankri merely nodded, taking the hint and leaving the new arrivals for the privacy of the kitchen, which was conveniently empty of people. "So how exactly do you know my neighbor?" Kankri asked evenly, crossing his arms as he finally allowed himself to glare at the man who was the source of today's greatest misfortune. Cronus smirked. "We're just friends. I met her this morning when she was a little lost and helped her find her way to class. She was so grateful, she gave me her number~"
Kankri let disgust color his features, realization as to Cronus' motive swift in coming. "In other words, you just want to 'get in her pants' as the saying goes. Men like you are absolutely despicable." He told the taller male, his tone soaked in venom. Cronus only smirked shrugging his shoulders casually. Kankri shook his head. "She seems to think so well of you, it would be a shame if she found out your true nature." The threat in his words was plain and Cronus growled, grabbing the front of his bright red sweater in both hands and yanking him up close, almost lifting him off the floor.
"Listen, short-shit. If you screw up my chances with Jane, I swear it will be the last thing you do!" He growled, voice a low hiss. Kankri's eyes merely narrowed on the one who would dare to mangle his favorite sweater. "Perhaps you should have considered that before." He said simply. Cronus opened his mouth to retort when a slightly nervous voice interrupted them. "Hey, um, you guys having a fight or something?" It was John again, worry that Kankri and Cronus might not be getting along clear on his face. Cronus lowered Kankri and released his shirt slowly. "Nah, just a little disagreement." He said smoothly, reigning in his fury. "Hey, can you tell your sis I'm sorry, but I have to go. I gotta cook dinner for me and my kid brother tonight." He said, and John smiled.
"Yeah sure, I'll tell her for you." Cronus nodded to the now cheerful kid then walked out of the kitchen, leaving Kankri standing where Cronus had set him. He stayed that way for a few minutes, considering the purple eyed male who'd managed to get under his skin and set off his temper so quickly. The man who needed a serious attitude adjustment. And if Kankri fully intended to give him one, whether he liked it or not.