Title: The List

Author: GEM

Date: 10-5-14

Pairing: Fitz/Mellie, Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Their marriage is a now a business arrangement. Their marriage is just for show. There was a list of things that they didn't do. There is a list of things that they don't talk about. Mellitz, Olitz

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al.

A/N: Thank you to the reviewers. You make me smile.A little Season 4 Speculation. Please let me know what you think.

To my Guest Reviewer: I never said it was cannon or AU. The story itself is meant to be entertaining. I'm sorry if you don't find it believable. I don't find it out of the realm of possibility given the wonderful performances of Tony Goldwyn and Bellamy Young to date. As I said before this is a bit of speculation.

Chapter 2

Fitz stared down at the report in front of him. How did we get here, he thought. It had been three weeks since Gerry died and he won the White House again. The Holidays were upon them and so far his Christmas wish had yet to come true. He knew that it was hoping for too much. He knew that he needed to care for Mellie and focus on his kids but part of him would feel so much better about doing that, if he knew where she was. She was gone. The report in front of him said so. Olivia had fallen off the face of the Earth. He stared at the seal remembering that fateful night. The night that she disappeared from his life.

Fitz couldn't find the strength to leave the floor of the Oval Office until it was dark. He'd won the election. His son was dead. Mellie was sitting beside me with the phone pressed to her ear still looking for Olivia. Olivia had left him again. Olivia was missing. She wasn't answering her phone. He was alone. Olivia should have been the one that walked into the Oval Office and told him he'd won. They'd won. It wasn't how they wanted to win but they won. Politics was never clean. Fitz had plenty of people who walked behind him and cleaned up. He had plenty of people guarding the gate. It wasn't clean but it was a win. A win he wished he could give back. He wished his son was still alive. He wished that Olivia was still here. He wished he was sitting on the porch looking at the Vermont countryside.

The truth was this wasn't Vermont, Gerry was dead and Olivia was gone. That was the awful, horrible truth of his life. He stood outside hoping that the ground would shallow him up and make his nightmare end. The nightmare wasn't going to end. In the coming days, he would bury his oldest Son, Mellie would crumble, he would eventually fall and Olivia wouldn't be here to pick him up.

The weekly report showed nothing new and he knew he needed to stop looking. He needed to focus on the work ahead. He needed to focus on his family but he couldn't. Olivia Pope was his focus. They were magnetically attracted to one another. He was not complete without her. He was nothing without her. She was his everything. If he was going to get through the loss of his son, he needed her in his life. He knew they couldn't be together. He knew he need to focus on his family but he needed to know where she was. He needed to know that he could pick up the phone and hear her voice. He need to be able to have a conversation with her. He needed more than her per-recorded voice mail message. He needed more.

"Fitz come to bed." Mellie said as she entered his study.

"We are sleeping in the same bed tonight?"

"Fitz," Mellie came up behind him. "I'm not doing this anymore. You can't hold in your grieve anymore."

"You can't drink it away Mel." Fitz said as he looked at his wife. "Go to bed Mellie. I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Olivia is out of your orbit. You are not fine." Mellie walked to face Fitz. "I'm sorry. I was naive to believe that it would be better without her. You need her Fitz. We need her. I'm sorry. Mellie left the study after pouring herself another drink. Mellie was slipping farther and farther away as the days went on. He was falling farther and farther down his own rabbit hole of grief. He needed Olivia. He needed to find an acceptable outlet. He wasn't going to talk about his grief as the RNC had suggested. He wasn't going to use Gerry's death as a way to raise money for the party. He son wasn't a pawn in some game.

The outlet turned out to be his work. It could also be argued that finding Olivia was an outlet for him as well. As long as he was looking for her, she wasn't truly gone.

Four weeks later he walked into the residence to find Mellie lounging on the couch. She still hadn't gotten dressed. "Mel, we need to work on this You need to get dressed. "

"What's the point. There's nothing to get dressed for. The American people don't expect to see me. I'm grieving. I'm the only one grieving. Mellie whispered. "For Gerry at least."

"Mellie." Fitz said in a warning tone. "I'm grieving." He was indeed grieving. He had taken to grieving in private, away from his kids, and away from his wife because he didn't want it to further affect her. Mellie was slipping in a deeper and deeper depression as the days went on and he wasn't going to contribute to her pain. He held her when she cried. When she would let him. He had instructed the White House staff to give her whatever she wanted and her detail was keeping a close eye on her as well.

"What it's true. You're not grieving for him. You're grieving for Olivia Pope. Oh, the great Saint Olivia Pope. Have you found her yet?" Mellie asked as she polished off her latest drink."

"We are not talking about this." It caused him too much pain but not as much as knowing he would never see his son again.

"She left you! She shared my deep dark secret and left you to pick up the pieces. She left you!

Fitz walked up to Mellie and took her in his arms and stared into her eyes. He took the glass out of her hand. "I think you've had enough. I think you need a shower and then you are going to bed." Fitz guided Mellie to the bathroom and helped her into the shower.

"Where is she Fitz...Where is your precious mistress Olivia Pope?"

"Mellie we are not talking about this. Fitz said firmly added to the list. We are not talking about Olivia."

OOO

The next day he called her phone to hear her voice and it was disconnected. He picked up his glass and drank. He dialed again and drank again. He repeated this process until he was numb. He had no idea where she'd gone and now he couldn't even hear her voice. Olivia was gone. He didn't want to think about a life without her in it. He didn't want to think about her with Jake. He knew that they had left together but he didn't know where they went. They lost track of her and Jake or at that's what Tom said. She was gone until she wanted to be found or join the land of the living again.

Was he living? He poured himself another drink and knocked it back. Was this life? Olivia was his everything. He hadn't been eating, sleeping or breathing. He was breathing but each breath was heavy. Gerry was gone. Liv was gone. Was there any reason to gone on, if the love of his life wasn't here anymore? Was there any reason to live if he son was gone forever? He picked up another full glass and knocked it back. This continued until he passed out.

He saw her then in his drunken slumber. "Olivia." Fitz reached for her and Olivia brushed her hand against his face.

"You can't leave her Fitz." I wouldn't want you, if you left her." Olivia smiled as he looked into his eyes. "You need to try."

"Olivia I need you. Where are you?" Fitz could feel tears coming to his eyes. Was he dreaming or was she really here.

" I'm always with you Fitz. You can't give up.

"You gave up." Fitz shot back as he felt her starting to slip away.

"I'm fixing myself. I'm the scandal." Olivia said as she started to let go of his hand.

"You're not a scandal. You're the love of my life." Fitz rushed after and grabbed her.

"I love you too but I can't be with you right now. Olivia put a hand on his chest and pushed away gently You are meant to be great. You need to be great. You got your second chance."

"I don't want a second chance. I want you back. I want my son back. That's the second chance I want Livvie. " Olivia walked farther into the haze. He could barely see her but he could still here her.

"You'll see me again. Remember I'm always with you. Now go and be great. Pick yourself up and be the man I voted for." Olivia said as she disappeared.

"Olivia. Liv... Olivia...Livvie." Fitz mumbled on the floor. Where's Olivia."

Mellie knelt down on the seal next to her husband as she hand down weeks ago. "No one knows where you missing mistress is. " Mellie said as she finished off her latest drink. You need to move on Fitz. You need to be President now.

"I want Olivia."

"And I want my son back."

"So do I Mels, so do I. " Fitz picked himself up off the floor and went to stare out the window. The window where he had kissed Olivia so many times. "We will not talk about this again." Fitz said as he moved to stand in front of Mellie. He held out his hand to help her up. "It's you and me." He said as she was now standing before him.

"Whatever you want baby. I'll add missing mistress to the list."