One-Shot Two
No Escape

Warnings: AU, ooc, mentions of abuse, suicide.

He locked the door once he entered the bathroom, leaning against the wooden door as he gave a sad smile; his eyes cast to the whilte tiled bathroom floor. He took a moment to just stay like that, his mind empty of almost all thoughts. 'I guess I'm really gonna do it,' he thought. He wanted to laugh at himself, give a mirthless laugh at how pathetic he was. He slid down against the door until he was sitting on the cold floor and held his hands in his head. A small, humorless laugh left his lips and he felt tears start to prick at the corner of his eyes.

This was all so fucked up.

He managed to hold the tears back with some difficulty. He wondered why the urge to cry was so strong now, and why it was so hard to hold back the tears. He had, over the years, learned to control those salty little creatures with ease. But now... It was so hard to hold them back.

"Are you crying again? Get over it. Fuckin' baby."

"Did you hear me? I said stop. crying. now."

"Oh, here come the tears again! Hey, little shit. What did I say about crying? Huh?! Want me to give ya a few more smacks?"

A tear managed to escape from him and it fell from his long eyelashes. He watched with almost slight horror as the small little drop hit the bathroom floor, and he instinctively curled up; bringing his knees up closer to his chest and slapped his hands over his ears. 'He can't hurt me anymore he can't hurt my anymore he can't hurt me anymore,' he chanted in his mind, squeezing his eyes shut. After a minute of repeating the chant, he finally opened his eyes and uncurled himself. The urge to cry was still there, but it wasn't as strong as before. Another mirthless laugh left his lips as he looked down at his hands.

This was all so fucked up.

His hands were lightly trembling and he willed them to stop. Curling them into fists, he turned his attention to the off-white ceiling. 'What am I doing?' He thought about his question with lightly furrowed brows. 'Am I really going to go through with it?' 'I have to,' part of him answered. 'I have to. It's the only escape.' But...it didn't seem right. But at the same time, it seemed oh so perfect. 'What better way for a good-for-nothing like me to go?' He looked back to his hands.

"You're never going to make it in the world. You're going to get chewed up, spit out, and shit on.."

"If you think you're so useful, then why don't you get a fuckin' job?"

"Get out of my sight, you pathetic good-for-nothing. I never should have adopted you."

He pushed himself onto his feet and he took in a deep breath. Looking ahead, he found himself staring into the medicine cabinet's mirror. God, he looked horrible. His face was pale and the skin under his eyes was dark from the lack of proper sleep. He looked at his bare torso and all the old scars that littered it. He touched the one on his left ribs. It was the first serious scar he received from his foster-father. His hand slid up his torso and made its way to his right cheek. On his narrow cheek bone was a very light scar. You could barely see it, you had to know it was there when searching for it, but he could see it clearly. He could remember when he got it, how he got it, and how long it took before it fully healed. His eyes were suddenly drawn back to his stomach. He could clearly see his ribs. It was from his lack of eating, he picked up the habit not long after the abuse started. He never fully got his appetite back, despite it being nearly two years since his foster-father last laid a hand on him.

This was all so fucked up.

He opened the cabinet, no longer able to look at his gaunt and pathetic form, and let his eyes land on the small object he hid there a year ago. Reaching up and grabbing the piece of napkin gently, he unfolded the cloth carefully and his line of sight fell on the small, silver object in his hand.

Ace stared down at the scalpel with a longing that had been in his eyes for years.

He longed for death, longed for escape.

The thought of leaving Luffy broke his heart, but he knew his brother would be fine. He was eighteen now, so their foster-father couldn't lay a hand on him. Not only that, but his brother had made so many friends in the two years. He knew Luffy was in good hands. Zoro was probably the most protective of Luffy and the green-haired male hardly ever left Luffy's side. Next to him was Sanji and Robin, who swore to keep the teen safe with their lives. Usopp and Chopper were always there to cheer up the hyperactive teen. Nami was there to keep Luffy in line, keep him from doing idiotic things and getting into (too much) trouble. And Franky and Brook were there at his side to cheer him up with their jokes, music, and parties. Not to mention Marco and Thatch would probably check up on him regularly. Law was always there, too; ready to take care of Luffy whenever he was injured.

Yes, Luffy was in very good hands.

So it was okay to leave now, right?

He protected Luffy over the years. He took the beatings for him, took the pain and suffering for his little brother. That's why Luffy was like he was; a happy-go-lucky teen who never ever quit smiling. Ace was proud that he was the reason his brother could laugh so innocently. If given the choice, he'd do it all again. He'd go through hell and back to keep his brother smiling. Another sad smile worked its way onto his features as he picked up the scalpel and threw the napkin aside. The object was so shiny, so clean and perfect. The exact opposite of what Ace was. Ace wasn't shiny, he'd been dulled down to a blunt stump throughout the years. He wasn't straight, he was crippled and bent, and the only perfect thing about him was that he was perfectly broken.

"Sniveling! Pathetic! I ought to wring your neck!"

"Listen hear you little bastard, when I tell you to do something, you do it! No back-talking, no lazying around, no stalling! Now get your ass upstairs now!"

"You? Ha! Don't make me laugh! You'll never get anywhere in this world! And, oh, how I'll enjoy watching you fall!"

No, it really was perfect that he would take the 'coward's way' out. He slid his finger along the edge of the blade and watch with morbid fascination as the skin under the scalpel split so smoothly. He let up the pressure on his skin and trailed the item down his palm, the steel tickling the epidermis with its soft touch. Then the tip came to the wrist, and he paused a moment. 'Luffy will be fine. He's in many good hands. Luffy will be fine. He can't lay a hand on my brother. He will be in prison for the rest of his miserable life when they find the letter I left on my bed. Yes, Luffy will absolutely fine.' A calm serenity overcame him, and he pulled the blade over the skin with quick precision. For a moment, there was nothing.

Then the precious rubies began to form.

Red flowed from his wrist almost like a silk ribbon, and it was again with morbid fascination that he couldn't seem to tear his gray eyes away. He loved blood, its color and power was absolutely eye-catching. He set the scalpel down on the sink and continued to watch his dark blood flow, his eyes catching every drop that fell. And with every drop, he felt as if a burden was being lifted from his shoulders, from his mind, from his soul. This was the end, this was his end. So quiet, so peaceful. His ears could only pick up the sound of the red droplets hitting the floor and the small puddle that formed on the tiles. The red stood out beautifully against the white tiles, he liked it.

This is the way the world ends

Now with a bang...

but a whimper

Dizzy. He was feeling light-headed. He sank to his knees before he had the chance to fall, his kneecaps slipping slightly in the red puddle beneath them. He then eased himself back until he was laying down facing the ceiling. He felt so tired, oh so tired. He didn't have the strength to hold his arm up to watch his blood flow, so he closed his eyes. He felt a soft smile pull onto his features, and a single tear managed to fall from his left eye. 'It's okay to cry now,' he thought. 'It's okay to cry. I'm free now. I'm free. It's okay to cry.'

"Goodbye, Lu. Take care. I love you."

His quiet goodbye was heard by no one, but that didn't matter. As long as he got to say it, that was all that mattered. He could feel himself begin to slip, that the end of his roping was ending. He was at the edge, hanging on by a thread now...

This ending, for a someone as pathetic as me, is absolutely...

He laughed.

...perfect.

And then he fell.

x - x - x

A/N: So I started writing this in April. (Or was it May? I think it was May.) And when I did, I was really not happy, as you can tell. It was probably the first time I was actually depressed. I couldn't eat for two days, I didn't really smile. And the thoughts. Jeez. But don't worry! I'm okay now I think. XD Some of this I kinda based on myself in a few ways. (No I'm not being abused) But yeah, anyways, now that I've probably depressed you all, let me say have a happy day/night! :'D Sorry.

Your ice elemental,
~roo the psycho