One Shot – Sentence

Helen found herself in Aline's room. Her memories were a blur, both in her mind as she tried to recalled them and back when it actually happened. She had been crying so badly that she couldn't see much, but she vaguely remembered holding Aline's hand as they walked, she must have led them to her bedroom in the Consul's house after the Council session. They hadn't talked at all since the Clave had decided Helen's fate and she was sentenced to live in Wrangel Island indeterminately. Helen was too heartbroken to find her words and she couldn't even form any logical thoughts because she had been to overcome by sadness and anger and frustration and indignation.

She felt like she was being treated so unfairly. She had chosen to be a Shadowhunter, had been raised as one by her father and Eleanor. She had always done things right by the Law, had fought on the war against Sebastian and his army of Endarkened and fairies. She had always acknowledged her faerie background but she had never wanted to join them or live with or like them. She wasn't ashamed of who she was, she even often showcased her pointed ears, but she had never let it define her. She was a Shadowhunter just like anyone else in the Clave. But at the same time she half expected something to happen to her when she saw what the Nephilim were doing to the Fey with the Cold Peace and all, she knew that no matter how much she had shown over the years that she was a Shadowhunter, her faerie blood would speak louder than her actions. She just didn't expect to be ripped away from her family and basically the community too, she knew how deserted and isolated Wrangel Island was. Her siblings, who had already lost so much, would lose her too.

She ran her hands through her hair and let out a heavy breath. Where was Aline anyway? She forced herself to remember and recalled that she said she'd be right back and left.

Aline.

A sudden terror ran through her so horribly that she got up from the bed and tried to find something to do with herself. She hadn't really thought about what the Clave's decision would do to them until now.

As much as she was heartbroken to leave her siblings behind she knew that nothing could change the fact that they were family. There was no distance too far or a period of time too long that would change the bloodline they shared. Maybe their bond would weaken because they would no longer be living under the same roof but there were ways around that and Helen promised herself she would keep in touch with them as much as she possibly could. And there would be Uncle Arthur and a tutor to look after them, and she knew Julian would step up to the occasion and take care of their younger siblings too.

But Aline…Aline was different, right? A romantic relationship demanded physical presence and even though she believed that long-distance could work, and they had even done it for a while after Italy, it was different now. They had made it through their time apart because they were committed to each other, they talked everyday and they could visit each other, if it got too bad they could just Portal to Idris or LA and be together, even if it was for a little while. And they had in fact done that. Aline had stayed in LA with her for a few weeks and then Helen had gone to Idris while ago to stay with her girlfriend. But now that wouldn't be possible anymore. Helen had been exiled, she couldn't leave Wrangel Island at all unless the Clave allowed her to do so and she knew they wouldn't anytime soon, and no one could visit her either. Basically, she wouldn't see her girlfriend again for who knows how long. Years probably. She knew what that meant. Their relationship would never survive like that.

She crumbled to the floor and hugged herself tightly and buried her face on her knees, her back to the bed frame. She was crying again and this time it was even worse, she felt like she was choking and her chest had tightened. Her heart was broken into a million different pieces. As much as she knew she couldn't live without Aline she couldn't bring herself to ask her to go with her. How could she? She didn't even know if she would be allowed in the first place but even if she was Helen wouldn't want that for her. She had pictured their future together, them getting married one day not too long from now and sharing a life forever. A happy life and not a life of deprivation at a God-forsaken frozen wasteland.

Aline was from two very good Shadowhunter families, both with histories of running Institutes and respected members. Her mother was the freaking Consul for heaven's sakes. Helen knew Aline had the brightest future ahead of her. She couldn't take that away from her. Even if it meant they wouldn't be together. She loved her that much. More than she ever thought she could love someone.

"Hey." She heard Aline's soft voice and her hands on her, one on her arm and the other on her head. Helen looked up, her girlfriend's face was a mask of worry and sadness. "Come on." She said and pulled Helen up. She wiped the tears off her face, placed a kiss on her cheek and hugged her. Helen allowed herself to wrap her arms around the shorter girl's frame. She tried to lose herself in it, not really letting her mind think that this could possibly be the last time. Aline broke the hug and sat down on the bed, she held her hand and motioned for Helen to sit down too.

"I was talking to Robert. I asked him to let me go with you and he allowed me to." She was talking about Robert Lightwood, the Inquisitor and as such he was in charge of determining the conditions of Helen's exile. He also happened to be a family friend of the Penhallows. Someone who had known Aline since she was a child and it was no surprise that he would bend to her wishes.

"What? Aline, no. You can't!" Helen said loudly, looking shocked and exasperated at the brunette in front of her.

"Yes, I can. I'm 18 and I made the decision to go with you and the Inquisitor has given me the clear to be with you there." She explained matter-of-factly. Aline had this really tough exterior and she didn't usually leave a good first impression on people, but over time she loosened up and Helen found her to be actually quite sensitive and soft. She was still tough and she kept a brave face in most situations, but if she cared about something or someone she was fiercely protective and loyal. Helen admired that about her, how she kept her cool in most situations, even in awful situations like when the Los Angeles Institute had been attacked and just a couple hours ago when Helen was officially exiled. She didn't know what she would have done if she had broken down like Helen herself had. Aline was her rock, her strength and she had kept her sane when her family's world was falling apart.

"No, I mean you can't do that to your life. You don't deserve this, you did nothing wrong, you are nothing wrong." She said bitterly.

"Well, and neither are you! The Clave just wants to make an example out of you. They're just blinded by hatred and bigotry towards the faeries." She sounded mad and frustrated. She paused and then continued, softly. "Plus, what would it be of my life without you? How could I live with myself knowing you were there by yourself? I could never do that."

"It's not what I want for you, Aline. It's not what I wanted for us." Helen said sadly.

"I know but what is the alternative? Break up? Is that what you want?" Helen knew Aline was staring furiously at her but couldn't look her in the eye.

Aline was right, she knew. These were the options they were faced with and they were both horrible. One meant they would both be heartbroken and unhappy and the other meant Aline would be forced into an exile that she would had never been forced to hadn't it been for Helen but at least they would be together. That was something, right? Maybe that was everything, really. Everything she had right now.

"Helen? Is that what you want?" Aline was impatient.

"No, Aline. Of course that's not what I want. I don't want any of this." She ran her hand through her hair in frustration.

"Well, I meant when I said forever, did you?" Aline sounded accusatory and insecure. Helen felt a pang in her chest. Having Aline doubt the truthfulness of her feeling hurt. She thought she had done and said enough for her to believe that she loved her more than anything but maybe she hadn't.

"You know I did. I'm just faced with an awful situation, okay? I just want you to be happy." She was looking at her girlfriend straight in the eyes now.

"Well, I won't be happy without you so…" She shrugged. Helen let out a long breath.

"Okay." She said and Aline looked at her dubiously. "No, you're right. Neither of us will be happy if we're apart." Helen looked down again, she could barely explain what she was feeling. Aline wrapped her hand at the back of her neck and kissed her forehead.

"I love you." She whispered, the top of their heads touching.

"I love you too. Forever."