Dear Rachel;
After I wrote that last letter, I let myself cry. And, to be honest, I tried getting over you. It was hard. But after that football game…oh man, you'll never guess who kissed me afterwards.
Yeah, that's right.
Quinn Fabray.
You know why I'm telling you that? Because it will ruin you like you ruined me. Do you know what it's like to hurt like that? You thought that you did when you heard I had sex with Santana. But we weren't even fucking together! And you still cheated on me. You left a hole in my heart, Rachel. And I'm going to do what I did last time to make you wish you had me back. I'm going to go back on another summer memory and make you relive every moment we spent over the summer, through letters.
You're gonna wish you hadn't cheated on me, Rach. You'll regret it so bad.
Remember that time I slept over your house? It was way in the beginning of the summer, when we still were getting used to each other for the second time. I'm just gonna bring up a few little events.
We discussed sex for the first time. No one pressured each other, but we were cuddling and you nuzzled my shoulder and licked my neck playfully. Really sneakily, I jumped you and pinned you to the bed, and you were laughing as I tickled your neck with my hair. You grabbed my hair, pulled me to your face and kissed me really hard. You have no idea how hard it was to not "arrive early" for me. You wrapped your legs around my waist and I cringed because I got really hard really fast. I had to pull out of your embrace, actually. You sat up and your eyes were getting watery.
"You…you don't want to kiss me?" you said, trying to hold back tears.
"No, no baby! No, that's not it at all," I said, leaning forward and wiping a stray tear from your eye. "You don't know how sexy you are. You don't know what it's like to have to get away from your arms. But you said it yourself, you're not ready yet. And I don't know if I'm ready for it either. You know, ready for when it means something." I remember you looking at me with your big brown eyes and smiling wider than I had seen you smile in our time together.
"You remembered?" You whispered, reaching out and grabbing my hand. I realized I had never loved anyone like I had loved you.
After our little discussion, we watched a movie. I forget what movie it was but I remember you had seen it so many times that you were mouthing the words as people were saying them. It was probably Funny Girl. But anyway, you were snuggled up against me and we sat on your bed and watched the TV, and I specifically remember having my arms around you in such a way that I could basically sweep you into my arms and carry you around your room like a baby. So, Funny Girl had ended, and after you sang along to the last song (and made me sing too), you yawned and leaned your head on my shoulder.
"I love you." You said gently, and I kissed your neck.
"I love you too." You yawned again, and I decided that it was time for bed. So I lifted you easily into my arms and rocked you back and forth before setting you down. You smiled and ran into the bathroom, where you changed into your pajamas. I remember you left the door a little bit open, and you had your back turned. But you took off your bra, I remember, and it fell to the ground and I just stared. I watched you slip on your nightie and twirl really quickly around before coming back to the room. I pulled off my shirt and pants, in front of you, and you gasped at me and turned a really cute shade of pink. But I came prepared, and grabbed the spare t-shirt I used to leave at you house. You were still pink when I put it on. But I hopped on your bed and patted the space next to me.
"You coming?" I laughed. You smiled hugely again before scurrying next to me. You rested your head on my chest, and before I knew it, you were asleep with your arms around me. I swear to god that was the happiest I had ever been. So I closed my eyes and pulled you nice and close to me, and I fell asleep right next to you.
But I'm with Quinn now. She and I really connected, and I wanna give her another try. So you know what?
Bye Rachel.