Chapter Two: What Will We Do Now?

Her heart was pounding. She didn't know how to say it but she knew she had to. The line said she was pregnant. Olivia let out a deep breath. They were going to have to figure this out. She just wasn't sure how. They hadn't planned on her getting pregnant like this. Olivia let out a deep breath. Getting up, she went back to bed, slipping under the covers. As she started to drift off to sleep, Olivia knew she was going to have to find some way to tell him. She just hoped that he'd be okay with it. Their lives were about to change in a way that they had never imagined.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny again. Olivia awoke, not sure what she'd say to Elliot. She awoke to him still sleeping, and she couldn't help but smile as she saw him. He looked so precious. As always. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, and decided to let him sleep before she woke him up. She thought it would be nice, since they'd most likely have another long day like they had the day before. Olivia was loving it so far though. As she was getting breakfast ready, her cell phone rang. Olivia opened it to answer it. She needed to get a new phone. "Hello?" She said, not having bothered to check who it was. She was mixing up stuff for French toast.

It was Fin. "Hey, babygirl." He said. His full name was Odafin Tutuola. He and Liv could talk on the phone for hours. He was relaxing on his bed. Munch was getting showered. They had just spent the night having lots of sex.

Olivia got out the bag of Texas toast for the French toast. She put a couple of pieces to soak in the batter. She heard rumblings from the bedroom. "Hey, Fin. What's up?" She asked, putting both pieces on the griddle.

"I just called to see how you were doing. I know that we'll see each other in a little while but I wanted to tell you something." He was about to tell Olivia about his and Munch's relationship. Which he did have permission to do. He'd asked Munch.

This made Olivia's ears perk up. She wondered what the news was. "What... what kind of news?" She asked, as she put on another few pieces of toast.

Fin couldn't help but smile as he told her. "Babygirl, Munch and I are together." He said, his tone happy. "You... we're not telling anyone else, so you can tell your man but that's it."

That made her gasp. "What?" She gasped again. "Wow. You know... I had wondered about you two... but I swear, I won't even tell Elliot if you don't really want me to. But wow... Fin. That's really amazing. I'm really happy for you. You deserve to be happy." She got quiet. "Fin, I have some news for you too, and... you can't tell anyone either."

"Oh, babygirl, that sounds serious." Fin said. "Okay, I'm all ears and I won't say nothin'. Fort Knox."

After Olivia had giggled, she said, "Okay, I... I took a pregnancy test last night. It... it was positive." She said, flipping the pieces of French toast. She hoped they had enough syrup. She didn't want to have to use powered sugar. "Okay, tell me what you think."

This made Fin quiet for a few. He wasn't sure what to say. He knew he should say something. He asked, "You told Stabler yet? Seems like something he ought to know."

"I'm going to tell him this morning, that's why I'm making French toast for breakfast." She laughed a little. "I'm just happy. I hope he is too. I'm sure he will be. I mean... it's a baby. One that we hadn't planned on..." There was worry in her voice.

"Hey, babygirl. Don't worry. You'll be fine. El will be happy with the news of a baby. I know he will." Fn didn't think she should worry about whether El would be accepting. She should just be able to tell him that she was having his child with no qualms.

Olivia flipped French toast and got out some bacon. She put it on the griddle too. "Yeah. I will be fine. Don't worry about me. Look, I'll see you at work. I'm finishing up breakfast. El and I will be late but we'll be there." After that, they hung up. Olivia finished up breakfast. Before she could go wake Elliot, he came in the kitchen. "Morning, baby." She said, as Elliot got out a coffee cup so he could get some coffee.

Elliot poured his coffee, and put the pot back. Olivia was placing their breakfast on the table with the syrup. Elliot sat down. "What do you have to tell me, Olivia?" He asked, looking at her. "Whenever you make French toast you have something to tell me."

Sitting down next to him, and putting French toast on her plate, Olivia said, "Elliot, this is not going to be easy to hear. I... I was late." She paused to let that sink in. "And... there's going to be a baby." Olivia didn't think it should come out slow. Best to rip it off like a bandaid.

His fork halfway to his mouth, he looked at her. His mouth dropped open in shock. He put his fork in his mouth and started chewing. Elliot wasn't sure what to say. Elliot had never expected anything like this to happen. He ate some more, trying to decide what to say. Finally he said, "How... how did this happen?"

As she took her own bite, Olivia thought about how best to answer. "There was a couple of days a couple of weeks ago where I went without birth control. I ran out. I didn't think it would matter because we were using condoms too." She said, and then filled her mouth to keep herself from word vomiting.

Elliot didn't know what to say. He didn't want to sound like a jerk. Elliot was not unhappy about it. He just wasn't sure how he felt. They hadn't planned dor this. At all. He looked at her. "Olivia, we never planned for this. I don't know what to say."

"Say you're happy for me. Say you're happy for us. This may not have been planned, but we can look at it as a good thing." She pleaded. Olivia was starting to get upset. Why was El not excited? She was. Besides being a cop, all she wanted was marrying Elliot and carrying his babies. It did not reassure her that he wasn't seeming to like the idea. "El, we've planned to have kids." She reminded him.

Letting that sink in his head, Elliot finished his breakfast and swallowed some of his coffee. He let out a slow breath. "I know we did, Olivia. It's a good thing. I just... we're not prepared for this. We don't have room for a baby. I was thinking we'd get a house so we could raise the kids... I just... we're not ready."

Pushing back her chair sharply, Olivia looked at him, tears brushing her eyes. She wiped some of them away. Olivia did not know how this could possibly be happening right now. She looked at him. "Elliot, I know that you like to do things a certain way. We can't really worry about that right now. We're going to have a baby. We have to deal with this. You can't really worry about that right now. We're going to have a baby. We have to deal with this. You can't just say that we didn't have this planned out. We have to come up with a plan. We have a big responsibility to be good parents." She went to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Elliot cleared up the dishes, and went to the bedroom. "Liv, please... we have to talk about this. I'm sorry I upset you... I didn't mean to." He tried to say as he opened the bedroom door. She was getting dressed. He tried to touch her arm. She did her best to shake him off. Elliot let his hands fall to his sides. "Livvy... please." He said.

"We have to go to work." She said, as she turned to get her shoes out of the closet. Olivia did not believe this. That he could be like that. Never once had he said he was happy. Or it was a good thing. Olivia had never been so angry at him. She was so disappointed in him right now. Her hands shook as she finished putting on a pair of ballet flats. She wore a pair of black pants, a billowy white blouse, and a black vest. She ran a brush through her long brown hair and then left the bedroom, not uttering a word to him.

Elliot sighed. He had definitely made a mess of things. He got out a brown suit and an olive green dress shirt and a matching olive green tie. He finished getting dressed quickly and got out dress socks and dress shoes. He was not looking forward to the work day. He knew he'd have to find some way to get her to forgive him or it would be very silent too. He didn't want to have to be worrying about the case while his fiancee wasn't talking to him. It would mean a very long day. He wanted to rewind, and give her the reaction she wanted. But there was no way of doing that. He couldn't change the past or move time. He went back to the living room. Olivia was waiting for him. They always rode together now, Olivia didn't have a car anyway. He grabbed his keys, and she made sure she had her apartment keys, and they left the apartment. There were no words spoken on the way down to the street. The apartment building did not have a garage, so they had to park on the street. Usually not at all close to the building.

Olivia knew Elliot was very uncomfortable. She found a part of her was very glad about it. She just didn't know how they'd make it through this day. She really didn't want to be around him right now. She wanted to be in her pjs and in the living room, watching stupid shit on tv. That's when she felt the cramps. "El... El!" She said, tears filling her eyes. She reached out for his hand. They were on the way to the car. A hand went to her stomach.

Putting his arm around her shoulder, he said, "I'll call a bus... it'll be faster than getting to the car." He said, pulling out his cell. He was hurriedly dialing as tears poured down Olivia's face. Elliot was scared too. He didn't know how they could get through this if they were losing the baby. He knew that he hadn't been excited about it, but it was his baby. The baby he'd made with Olivia. This was really scary. He could barely tell the 911 operator where they were. He managed though, and it wasn't long before they were on their way to the hospital.

Olivia was the most worried she'd ever been. It felt like she was bleeding... she was trying to keep herself from worrying. She was holding her fiance's hand all the way to the hospital. When they got there, they got her off to a room to see what was going on. Olivia told them she was pregnant, and all of a sudden they were all more concerned. It didn't allay her fears. Elliot was stoic and looked worried. He held her hand tightly and didn't say much. She knew why, he was her protector, even if she disagreed she needed one, and he couldn't protect her from this. It made sense to her. She was so scared. She tried to keep herself from crying until they knew what was wrong. It wasn't really working.

They made her go and get an ultrasound after they'd taken her blood. They'd helped her clean up, and she had been bleeding. By now, Olivia was expecting the worst. Elliot went with her to the ultrasound. His blue eyes were wide and scared. The doctor's eyes were worried and her face did not look happy, either. She was wiping off the jelly from Olivia's stomach when she gave them the news. "You... I'm sorry to tell you this, Mrs. Benson but you've... you've miscarried your baby." Olivia's brown eyes filled with tears. She turned to Elliot, squeezing him tightly. The doctor was talking, but Olivia wasn't paying any attention at all. She was busy trying to forget what happened. All she was focusing on was Elliot.

They let her go home not long after that, and Elliot called Cragen to let him know they wouldn't be in for a little while. They caught a cab home. Olivia went straight inside and took off her clothes. Once she had taken a shower and was wearing a large Knicks sweatshirt of El's, she finally spoke. "Throw my clothes away, would you?" She crawled into the bed.

Elliot looked at her. He knew which one she meant. "Are you sure?" He asked. He didn't want her to end up regretting it later, when she was done with her grieving.

Olivia closed her eyes. She knew that he didn't mean anything by it, so she tried to hold her tongue. "Yes, I'm sure. I know for a fact I will never want to see those clothes again." She pulled the covers over her head and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

Six Months Later

It was cold outside. There was snow on the ground. They had a new house in Brooklyn. Elliot had managed to get a good deal on it, it was a foreclosure. They got a bank loan for hte house and it wasn't going to take much time at all to pay the bank back. Olivia hadn't been back to work yet. She was going back that day. She'd been very depressed, and El had almost had her committed. It had worried him. He was feeling better about it all now. She was finally starting to come around to being okay.

Elliot had been wanting to bring up seeing if they were going to be able to have kids at all. The doctor had told them that it was one of those freak accidents, and they should be fine. Elliot wanted to know for sure. He knew he should wait a bit before he brought it up to Liv. It had taken her so long to feel normal again. He didn't want to take anything away from her.

It was getting towards the holidays. Almost Thanksgiving, 2012. Elliot and Olivia were having Cragen, Munch, Fin, and the new ADA assigned to SVU, Casey Novak, over for dinner. They were going to be cooking it together. Olivia had suggested El's mother, he had declined. Elliot didn't like to talk or even think about his mother. Nor were they calling Olivia's mother, but Elliot didn't even know that Liv's mother was alive, so it was a really non issue.

That morning was snowy and cold. They got up and began breakfast and coffee prep. While they were doing that, Olivia turned on the news so they could hear the weather report. "We might have to call Don. Tell him that we might be late." Olivia said. She was already dressed. She was casual that day, a pair of jeans, a white tee shirt under a warm purple sweater. She was going to wear boots. She had on skinny jeans.

"Yeah. Let's just see what the weather says." Elliot said. He'd started the coffee maker, and was busy making eggs and hash browns and bacon. It was all going on the stove. "We have to get the fixings for Thanksgiving today, baby." He told her. It was the first time in six months he'd used that endearment.

Olivia was busy setting the table. "Do you want ketchup, El?" She asked, turning to look at him. She was standing in front of the fridge.

"No. I'm going to put some seasoned salt on them." He replied, as he started to put the food on the table. While he was doing so, the house phone rang. Elliot reached for it. "Stabler residence." He and Olivia were going to have a Christmas wedding, so it was technically still the Benson residence too.

It was Cragen. "Hey, El. I called to tell you and Livvy to go ahead and stay home today. The roads are awful and we've got men for anything that might happen. Your days for the holiday starts tomorrow anyway."

This was true. "Okay. Thanks, Don. We were just wondering if we'd have to call and let you know we'd be late. So this is just fine."

"Speaking of the holidays, is there anything you need for me to bring on Thursday?" Cragen asked. "I can't cook but I can get something at the store for you."

This gave him pause. He turned to Liv. "Hey, baby. Cragen wants to know if there's anything he can bring Thursday." He told her. He wasn't sure what they needed. She had a checklist.

"Tell him he can bring some cranberry sauce, and some rolls. That means we only have to get potatoes and stuff to make gravy." Olivia said.

Elliot nodded and then sat down with Olivia at the table to eat. "Livvy says if you are offering you can bring rolls and cranberry sauce." He said, as he picked up his fork so they could eat.

His fiancee was filling her plate with hash browns. She'd already gotten eggs and bacon. "Not to rush you, baby, but tell him it's breakfast and you've got to go. We don't have to work and we'll see him Thursday." She put some salt on her eggs and grabbed a piece of bacon. She was still working on getting back up to her previous weight, she'd lost some weight in the past six months. She was almost there though.

After Elliot had told Cragen bye, he looked at Olivia. "If the snow lets up we'll go get the stuff. The store's not far." They lived in a pretty residental neighborhood in Brooklyn. They had a two story four bedroom ranch style. The other bedrooms weren't really decorated yet, Olivia hadn't really been able to go in there just yet.

Olivia waited till she was done chewing before she replied. "Okay. I definitely want to go with you. I'll worry about you if I don't." She was kind of glad they didn't have to work. Olivia was ready to go back but she was kind of relieved she'd have some time to relax. She was still getting used to being back. Well, to the idea of being back. She knew it would get to sinking in. She looked at him. "Babe... maybe... maybe we can start trying again for a baby? I'm thinking after the wedding."

This made him look at her in surprise. "Are you sure? It's only been six months." Especially since they didn't know why they'd lost the baby. Elliot didn't know for sure if they were ready but if she wanted to try then they would. He'd been thinking about it anyway.

"Yes. I'm sure. We have to see if the problem is us." Olivia was able to say this in a calm tone, without any hint of sadness. He thought it was a good thing. "Because if it's not us we can go to the doctor and get it straightened out." She was only 32, she didn't know why she had had such problems. It should be a lot easier.

Elliot stroked her hand with his thumb. "Okay. We can try." He said, and then leaned to kiss her. "We can do that if you want to." He was glad things were looking up. "You got everything ready for the wedding?" He asked, looking at her.

As she ate some more, perking up a bit, she nodded. Her brown eyes looked into his blue ones. "Yup. Wedding's all ready to go. Casey'll be my maid of honor. Fin's your best man. I'm ready to become Mrs. Elliot Stabler." She said, giving him a smile. They sat for the rest of breakfast in companionable silence. It was nice. The first time they felt like things might really be alright.