A/n : SO Sorry I took long to update! I just graduated and am super excited to get back to my stories! Thanks for the reviews, I read them all, and please leave more if you're interested!
"Hello Campers, and Welcome BACK! To Total Drama All-Losers, where everyone is terrible, and it's just a question of who sucks the least !
"Before the challenges even began, Dawn decided to push me a little too far with her obviously false claims, so she's gone. Although… we can't really get rid of her and let her leave the island and report me to the cops, so, we'll just let the losers camps out in the woods and survive off of nature until the competition ends!"
Dawn spat out some seaweed, climbed herself out of the water and glared at Chris.
"Fine! The animals are on my side anyway! And beware of Karma!"
"Yeah, okay. Shoo! Buhbye! Everyone still in the running, grab your tranquilizer guns and follow me on over to the forest!
Tyler: It feels all kinds of wrong to be doing this, but, I can't lie-
Eva: We could, well, kinda use the money.
Everyone lines up at the front of the forest of terror, where giant beavers and laser-shooting squirrels stare out warily.
"All right, F-listers and Fame Hoarders! Team that gets the most animals wins! And this doesn't end until ALL the animals you can find are OUT, you hear me?! On your marks," Chris began, "Get set! GO!"
"Wait, guys! Don't run just yet!" Sadie held out her arm to stop the Fame Hoarders. "Let's talk…strategy! We gotta beat Katie!"
Immediately, Blaineley bailed and ran off into the forest.
Blaineley: What, I'm expected to sit there and listen to a bunch of kids half my age tell me what to do? Don't think so. I got my own plans..Heh heh heh…
"Okayy," Tyler said. "Anyone besides her got any ideas then?"
If one listened closely, the sound of crickets chirping could be heard.
"OO! Oo!" Sierra yelled from behind her camera, but Chris yelled from the speakers,
"App bup bup! Shut up and don't interfere, Sierra! In fact, most of the old cameras actually still work, so why don't you make yourself useful and get me a pina colada?"
"But! But!"
"LEAVE! Now! Don't need your input anyway!" Eva shooed Sierra off.
"Anyway, back to business."
B motioned that they should make a trap.
"Not quick enough," Eva retaliated. "If everyone else is shooting darts, it's not worth the effort. We gotta go in hard!"
Staci finally perked up, "Oo! OO! My great aunt actually invent-"
"Ezekiel is our best asset," interrupted Eva without a second thought. "They may have Dakota, but look at this guy."
"EUURAGGHHHH!"
"He's a savage! Doesn't even need the tranquilizer darts! Just one swipe, animals are gone, we win!"
"EUUAGAGAHAGAGAGHAHAGGH!" Ezekiel shook his head ravenously.
"Dude!" yelled Tyler to the savant. "At some point you're gonna have to do something! Think about it…all you've ever really wanted is to WIN right, you kept getting voted out and bested by everyone, but here, we're all, well, pretty terrible! Think about it bro, this right here…is your best chance to finally win a season of Total Drama!"
"Ughhu…eaaa blehhhhhh"
"Wait wait! My mom is actually an animal whisperer! Total Wild Thornberries style! I can talk to him!" Staci claimed.
"He's not exactly an animal…" Sadie said, hoping not to get mauled.
"Ezekiel! Oooooeeeeeahhhhh eheheh! UGGGGGGUUUUUU! WASH-EEEEEEE CLA CLA CLA ZOO-WEEEE!"
"BLEHHHHHH! AGHGHGHGHGH!"
"Guys! He says he does want to help, but he feels like the animals are his kin! He's lived among them for so long and he feels like they understand his freakishness. He says he'll otherwise help however he can!"
"Is…that true, Zeke?" Sadie asked.
Ezekiel nodded.
Sadie sighed. "Ok, forget strategy then! Let's just shoot as many as we can. Quick, the Fame Hoarders got a huge headstart!"
Meanwhile…
Blaineley walked up to the tallest tree she could find."Perfect…" She started climbing her way up the tree, until she reached the highest branch. She sat back, with a bird's eye view of the entire forest, and began shooting away.
"HAH! Got a double shelled turtle! A snake with legs! Or was that an iguana?" Too far up high to be harmed, Blaineley immediately shot over 10 animals unconscious in less than a minute.
"oOoOoooOOOO!" Katie yelled like Tarzan, having a little too much fun with this. She shot out 3 darts, hitting a tree trunk, a bush, and nearly Trent.
"Woah! Careful there!" Trent warned, while managing to nab a flying goat and a three-headed chicken.
"You're like, really good, you know that?" Katie said, snuggling up to him. "Maybe I should come with you!"
"I…guess that's ok."
"And the two lovebirds close in! Will Gwen see this from home and feel some jealousy? Teehee!" Sierra zoomed in on the two, who rolled their eyes.
"Sierra, no offense, but could you, like, leave us alone?" Katie asked her.
"SIERRA!" Chris yelled out. "I hear your distinctively obnoxious voice in there! No commentary! SHUT UP!"
Sierra groaned and walked away.
Sierra: These guys are gonna seriously regret icing me out when they remember I'm the only one here with a phone! They're ok now, but let's see how weeks and weeks of isolation do them! Hahaha! They'll get worse than me in my Cody-deprivation phases!
"RAWWWWWR!" The giant mutant herself merely waved her arm, smacking every tree around her. She grabbed the fallen animals and threw them into a pile at the front. Screeches and roars of angry freak animals could be heard around the entire island. Somewhere, Dawn was probably weeping.
"Okayyyy..Can't help but almost feel like that's a little messed up…but PETA's not here and neither are my lawyers!" Chris announced, "Better watch out, F-listers! She getting them by the HUNDREDS!"
Justin shrugged at the sight of Dakota. "Clearly, my help isn't needed," he said aloud and laid up against a tree to relax.
Far up on a branch of that very tree, a voice spoke- "Helllllo, beautiful…"
A needle shot into Justin's neck.
"Oof! What the-… goodniiight…"-
He slumped forward, unconscious.
B was up in a tree, making some contraption, when Sierra came up to him and started blabbing. And blabbing. And blabbing.
"So like, thennnnn they kicked me out too! So rude! I know more about them than their own parents! I know everything about everyone on this show! I even know why you don't talk, and it's not PTSD!"
B looked at Sierra warily, trying to ignore her as he worked on his project.
"So ANYYYYYWAY, thennnn I.."
B, too polite to tell the stalker to leave and too quiet to voice his opinion, managed to stay sane with the girl for over half an hour. Just as he was about to explode and point to express "there's the door, you can leave," Sierra giggled.
"You know, you're the only one who actually let me hang out with you! That's pretty cool! … You know, B, I don't just know everything about the people here, I know everything about the ISLAND. Or should I say, quote, ISLAND, unquote… Don't even bother making that trap. You wanna know something you'll like even better than winning this challenge?
For the first time, B put his tools down, and listened to the words coming out of Sierra's big mouth.
"Tyler!" Eva screamed as Tyler shot a tree yet again. "WHY are you following me?! You haven't gotten a single shot!"
"I just think we should stick together, eh? We're obviously the strongest and best on this team!"
"Can it. I'm not forming any alliances, and I DON'T need you slowing me down!
Tyler: I'll get her on my side eventually! …I hope. She's the strongest girl I've ever seen!
Ezekiel, Sadie, and Staci walked up to Tyler and Eva.
"Guys, what's the use?" Sadie teared up, "Look at Dakota! We're no match for that!"
"Are you even TRYING?!" Eva raged. "SPLIT UP! Cover more ground! Do something! ANYTHING!"
Staci panted, "We're not good with all this running! We're not like you guys!"
"We haven't seen Blaineley at all, and I haven't seen B either," Sadie said. "Honestly guys, I say we just call it a day and vote off Blaineley."
"Wait!" Staci chimed in.
"We don't care what your great grandma-"
"No, like, I have an idea…!"
The group huddled in a circle, knowing there was basically no other option anyway.
"Trent! Trent! You wanna like, take a break?" Katie touched his arm and cozied up.
"Katie, don't you care about the game at all?"
Trent: Not that I really do either, and not that Katie is all that bad, but uh, I get the feeling that dating her would be a 2-in-1 deal, you know? Buy one get one free? Like, you open a two-pack of Starburst and you get an orange one and a yellow one? Not really interested… does that make me a bad person?
"I totally do, but look at Dakota! Do we really even need to try? Plus, I've been counting, and so far you've shot a 3-tailed rabbit, 2 giant beetles, and 4 maggots! That makes-"
"NINE!" Trent yelled, just as a dart pierced his arm. "Nuevo…"
"Tre-!" Katie yelled, as a dart hit her just the same, and she fell over Trent's limp body.
"This better work," Eva murmured.
"Dakota! Oh Dakooooo-ta!" Staci yelled.
Dakota briefly looked over, rage in her eyes at the wasted time.
The team gulped and pushed Ezekiel forward.
"Yeah, dude, realllly not into the whole first person shooters," Sam said to Noah as they walked around lazily.
"A gamer who doesn't play Call of Duty? Fascinating. Would've been the one thing that helped here."
"Nah, man. It's all about those MMORPGs. Like World of Warcraft, you know… Serious stuff. Hey, you think we should actually try?"
"Looks like your beast of a girlfriend kinda got it down pat, huh?"
"Oh, I know, she's so BEAST!" Sam said, hearts in his eyes. "Would you look at her!"
"Actually," Noah said, looking over, "why did she stop, anyway?"
The guys looked over to see Dakota and Ezekiel talking- or grunting, for that matter.
"Really?!" Noah yelled, more emotional than usual.
"Babe, you were KILLING IT! What happened?"
"Dakota…DAKOTA NO HURT MUTATED ANIMALS! Dakota mutated too!"
Staci: Yah, it's really simple! Ezekiel didn't want to hurt the animals because he felt connected to them, right? SO like, I figured, he'd talk to her and convince her and Dakota would feel the same, right? Like, she's even more mutated than he is!
Eva: I gotta hand it to her. She had a good idea, for once. And for once she doesn't have to yak on about how her dad's mom's 8th cousin twice-removed thought of it.
As Dakota stomped off to see if the animals she threw were ok, Sam yelled,
"Wait, no! Dakota, they're just-" Just as darts shot through the air and hit both the gamer and the king of sarcasm.
Blaineley: (Blows on her dart gun) Piece. of. cake. I've done what I needed to do, now it's time for some fun. ..And I don't mean shooting my own teammates. Noooo, why would I do that..? I think it'd take more than 1 to get most of them down anyway, from what I've seen.
The forest was surprisingly quiet, aside from Dakota's stomping.
"CHRIIIIIIIIIS!"
"Woah woah, what?!"
"WE NO HURT MUTATED ANIMALS! MUTATED ANIMALS FRIENDS!"
"Really?" Chris rolled his eyes. "They ob-viously manipulated you, Dakota. Guess your brain didn't increase with the whole "giant body" thing?"
Dakota roared, and Chris winced, but just then a series of 10-20 darts went flying into Dakota, and she toppled over into the trees.
"WOAH! What is going on?!" Chris yelled.
Blaineley walked out of the forest, dragging an unconscious Justin behind her.
"I think we're done here!" she smiled proudly.
Chris fumed and yelled into his megaphone, "ALL CAMPERS, BACK TO THE CAMPFIRE- NOW!"
"Okayyyy, and just where is everybody, Mildred?" Chris asked when barely half the campers showed up.
"I-"
"I know what you did! We have cameras, you know! Tell me when, WHEN, did I say that you could shoot the darts to other people?!"
Everyone else gasped.
Tyler: Blaineley… she kinda scares me, man. Not gonna lie. Almost more than Eva even. But not in a good way.
"Um, well, did you ever say we couldn't?"
"Hmm. I did not. Got a point there. Sierra! You kept watch right? The only thing you're useful for? Who got the most animals?"
"Blaineley! Dakota stopped juuuust short of getting more than Blaineley's sniping! And, gotta say, I respect the method, heehee!"
"Okay! The winner is the F-Listers! Too bad the Fame Hoarders aren't really around to enjoy it, hah…"
Everyone shrugged, then cheered.
"IN YOUR FACE, KATIE!" Sadie yelled, and Katie blew a raspberry at her.
"Not like we won because of your leadership," Blaineley pointed out.
"So, since we're the winners do we get a prize?" Staci asked.
"You mean I get a prize?" Blaineley said. "Right here!" She said, lifting up an unconscious Justin's arm. "Momma's taking you into MY cabin tonight!"
"Uh, how about no?" Chris winced and grabbed Justin away.
"WHY NOT?! I caught him! He's MINE!" Blaineley yelled animalistically, practically foaming at the mouth.
Sadie: Creepy much, Blaineley?! Ew! Who even knows what she did to him in that forest?
"Shut up! Shut up," Chris said and dropped Justin down, his head hitting a tree trunk. "Wait for everyone to wake up and we're voting later tonight! Hear that, Fame Hoarders?!"
-Later-
"Ah, here we are. Back at the campfire. Any fond memories coming back to you guys? Or were you not here long enough to even remember it? Haha…"
When no one laughed, and the Fame hoarders just held their heads in pain and looked half-asleep, he continued, "Ooo-kay, fine. First vote goes to- Dakota!"
Noah: Sorry Sam, but she'll kill us all before we can even escape this place first.
"Next vote- Justin! Then we have Dakota! Another Justin! One for Noah. And last but not least,..
"Dakota!"
"Nooooooo!" Sam yelled in distress.
"You guys!" Trent said, "She was our best advantage! What gives?"
"Um, she didn't really help out in the end, did she? No offense of course, haha," Katie said uneasily.
"Dakota no want be here anyway! Dakota go with her people!" The giant said, and ran off into the woods.
"Babe! Wait!" Sam went to follow her.
"Okay! That's two down- maybe 3, maybe 4, has anyone seen B?
"Will Sam ever come back? Will Sierra get me my pina colada already?! Will Noah ever care what happens in this game? How long will the lack of contact with the outside world take to make everyone to lose their minds? Will we be able to ship off the animals to Boney Island before they wake up and terrorize us all?"
"Probably no to most of those," Noah added,
"Find out next time on- Total! Drama! ALL-LOSERS!"