"Emerald!" I shouted in my Caterpies ear, and the caterpillar Pokémon slowly got up from its pillow.
A rather ugly pillow. A rather... A VERY ugly pillow, that more looked like a messed up piece of the door carpet... But hey, Emerald likes it... She can't sleep without it...
Emerald, my Caterpie, is just like me. Tired in the morning, lazy, and totally crazy in Caterpies of the opposite sex...
The only difference is that I like male humans, not male Caterpies.
My family (And extremely annoying members of it that I have almost deleted from my brain-storage) is a bit strange. A BIT strange.
There is my mom. Over-protecting, annoying and totally freaked out. Every time she sees Emerald, she jumps up on the couch or she hides in the nearest closet.
She can't stand bugs. That's strange. Since she is a bug, that should be eliminated and burned... Mwahahaha...
(This is getting more and more like a lousy budget-movie, don't you think? You can buy the movie-right if you want to... Give me a cheeseburger, and the whole story is yours...)
And there is dad. Always reading the newspapers. Drinking his coffee. Putting his legs on the table.
The same routine the last hundred years. He even uses exactly the same words. Day after day.
But still, he isn't nearly as annoying as my little brother, Ken. Gee, he's probably the worst thing that walks on this planet.
He is extremely annoying. And then I mean annoying. He is selfish, ego- centered, dumb, a freak, he's nuts, he doesn't know how to use the oven (not that I know...but anyway...) he can't even talk like a normal person, he acts like a two year old baby, and he's as slowminded as a dead Slowpoke (Should I continue? I could go on forever, but why bore you more than I already have...?)
So that's why I have decided to run away from home. From school, from all the freaks that keep bugging me every day.
"Oh, your so beautiful, Ruby"
"Your hair shines like a Ruby, Ruby..."
"I'm a perfect swimmer, but I drown in your eyes, baby..."
"You know, Ruby... I heard on the news, the secret police is looking for a nice-looking young girl, sweet, kind, sexy and absolutely gorgeous. That means that all woman in the world are safe. Except for you Ruby... Were the heck are you going to hide? Maybe in my house? We could get married, you know.. Get lots of children..."
"You know, Ruby... Your clothes would be even nicer in a pile beside mine..."
Aw, god I hate those jerks! They think they could catch me... But I'm not easily flirted...
And thats one of the reasons I'm leaving home.
To find the perfect love.
For me. And for Emerald. (Of course I'll find a Caterpie for her...but you already knew that... Or, are you one of those brain-dead maniacs that sneak into others bedrooms, reading their diaries?)
If that means that I have to travel all over the world. Than so be it. I'll find him.
Someday...
And he better be handsome...
Watch out, boys. Ruby is on the run!
And for all the male Caterpies... You better hide behind the nearest bush. Emerald will wipe you down like a hurricane... (Or maybe she won't, but I have to say something for her too...)
...
Well, not much to pack. My finest clothes. Some lipsticks (Probably enough to feed Emerald and me for a millenium, but hey, you don't eat lipsticks, and you can never pack too much...
Well, I am a special case in that question...
Emeralds pillow of course...
And I admit. I made it from the carpet.
Kens brain-dead Growlithe (I know, they are usually smart, but Kens presence must have killed all its brain-cells. Poor thing...) took a big bite of our door carpet.
It threw everything up, and I made a pillow of it...
Nah, I'm just joking... *Sigh* I suck at jokes, you know... But I laugh everyday anyway... Just a quick look at Ken is enough to keep me laughing for a year...
I picked up Emerald. Put on my backpack, and opened my window. I used the rope I had created of some blankets, and I climbed my way down into the garden...
Don't blame me for using a rope! I'm afraid of heights! And two meters is more than I can stand...
Well, one last look at my house. One last look on Ken through his open window.
I can see him trying to learn Growlithe to play piano.
It would probably be easier to try to teach a Donphan to dance jitterbug.
Kens Growlithe is probably the dumbest Pokémon I know... But hey, Pokémon adapts their trainers abilities...
That's why Emerald is so pretty...
And that's why Growlithe is so dumb..
...
Well, goodbye, annoying family. I will never return. Never.
Now, my journey to find the perfect love begins.
And I promise...
This is only the beginning!